John was born July 6 1747 and was the United States' first well-known naval commander in the American Revolutionary war.
He was born and raised in Scotland, where he became a sailor at 13 and served as a commander of several merchantmen.
His famous mad lad stunts started with him killing one of his mutinous crew members with a sword and then fleeing to the Colony of Virginia where he joined the new Continental Navy.
He commanded U.S. Navy ships stationed in France, led one failed assault on Britain, and several attacks on British merchant ships.
Left without a command in 1787, he joined the Imperial Russian arny and obtained the rank of rear admiral.
He died from Interstitial nephris, he was found dead lying face down on his bed in his Paris apartment.
(most of that was copied from Wikipedia, idk how to summarize things lmao)
NOW LETS GET TO THE FUN STUFF
When the war began, most people thought that the British Navy would absolutely ✨destroy✨ the American Navy.
The Americans were just bunch of farmers with daddy issues and the English, like, owned Earth.
But thankfully John Paul Jones was Scottish and absolutely fucking insane, so looked at the chances and said "fuck it, let's go try and make some redcoats redder with their own blood."
Johnny boy got outlawed because he killed a man in a mutiny when he was a sailor on a boat and he sailed to America, where he bacame a sailor, because it went so well the first time.
He attacked the coast of Britain, he raided towns, he killed and he enslaved and he avoided capture the entire time. (pop off bestie)
Those are basically pirate tactics, but like whatever works.
The British army considered him a pirate and everyone else considered him to be the coolest madlad that has ever walked the Earth.
Jones was basically Jack Sparrow in real life.
At the start of his career he destroyed like 7 British ships, France thought that was pretty rad™ and gave him 7 ships to command.
With his new very cool totes-not-pirate fleet he absolutely DUNKED on the British and captured 17 merchant ships and 500 prisoners.
Johnny boy Depps biggest beat-ass battle plan happened on September 23, 1779 where he attacked the British ON THEIR OWN COAST.
The battle wasn't going well for not-a-pirate John as most of his men got killed at the start.
His men begged that they surrender, but as always John probably yelled "YOLO" and continued on with beating ass.
One of his officers made a run to strike their flag which was a sign of surrender, but John clubbed him with the end of his gun knocking him clean out.
John RAMMED his ship into a British ship to attempt to board it. A British general basically yelled "OH FOR FUCKS SAKE WHEN WILL YOU SURRENDER"
And John basically replied "HAH BITCHBOY I HAVEN'T EVEN BEGAN FIGHTING"
At the end John somehow ACTUALLY KINDA WON THE BATTLE.
He took the ship he stole and went off to Holland where he got it repaired.
But, he didn't have a flag for his ship which was a big no-no and could get you arrested.
Thankfully the Dutch thought he was cool just like everyone else and they made him an American flag based on his description.
What they made looks pretty nice honestly!
Also, Fun fact, he was so cool that on of the towns he raided in 1778 gave him an official honorary pardon in 1999!
That's all about John I can remember rn, it's like 4am as Im writing this and I really just wanted to fangirl about him, so imma go and temporarily die until the morning.
#I really love this guy #Hes just a funky lil man #Lafayette and Lidwing ii are also madlads im obsessed with #I just like the madlads #I think theyre neat :] #amrev#american revolution #john paul jones #History#american history #*i ment Ludwig II in the secod tag but im not going back and erasing everything to fix thst lmao
I am going to lose my mind if I see one more person say that twink and bear are “porn/sexual” terms I’m going to rip off someone’s limb. I’m begging y’all to learn your gay history please. Please. Pleak
#my posts#rant #okay this was a ranty day I’m sorry new followers I’m not usually like this all in one day 💀 #gay history#lgbt history#gay bear #twink x bear solidarity ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #hmu bears I love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ #god I wish we still had 80s lgbt dynamics 😭😭 I truly hate the modern state of lgbt discourse and separation of the groups 😭😭 #why do we keep driving the wedge even further we’re supposed to be a coalition 😭 #anyway 💔#violence mention
I hate that baby is written like a weird ass parasite that wants to kill people and Just that. Can I please have a character that acts as a threat while being a direct consequence of Saiyan violence, even before Frieza integrated them into their army? As a treat?
#i forgot granolah existed for a while but i don't care about him. he looks boring #i want the freaky ass alien kid whose background is far more interesting than some cereal goku lookalike #like i want the idea that vegeta is an unreliable narrator abt his race's history. it would be way better if they were needlessly cruel #and then tried to cover it up by saying they were treated like shit which sounds like smth they would Not tolerate for even a single day #thor ragnarok vibes for that story i feel like. the whole 'this shits made up lol you just wanted to murder' thing #im FASCINATED by the POTENTIAL of baby as a character simply because the tuffle genocide predates frieza? thats so insane #dragon's den
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You know I honestly don't hate if someone wants to ID as 🍳sexual bc, like, whatever that's just how you express your experience, but seeing discussions of biphobia and transphobia regarding the identity being slapped with a "meaningless discourse" label is like. -_-
#shark.txt #funny enough coming from an ace person i dont think critically examining identities or their culture and history is a bad thing #however i am far from eloquent enough to go into detail on the matter myself
bodies are such a mystery. like do my fingers hurt because
i've been spending too much time on my phone
i've been driving more than usual and I'm a nervous driver who holds the steering wheel too tight
my fingers have lost all muscle definition after over a year of not touching a weapon and now that I'm doing bokken and jo again it shows
i have an undiagnosed autoimmune condition that causes me joint pain
I'm just dehydrated
some combination of the above
#ive never considered that i might have autoimmune issues #but apparently my dad recently found out HE might #and my trainer asked if i had a history since drs couldn't identify the source of the inflammatory in my hip #so 🤷🤷🤷