A Starkid, Star-Studded Nightmare
Last night I dreamt that my parents and I were homeless, but Mariah Rose Faith (Starkid, Mean Girls) let us stay at her place temporarily.
It was only a temporary arrangement, because in this dream (not in real life), she had a boyfriend with an intellectual disability, plus she had (in the dream, not IRL) an evil twin who proudly said that she (the evil twin, not Mariah) had “sold her soul to Hollywood”- the antithesis of Mariah, who IRL despises commercial Hollywood.
Mariah’s evil twin constantly and supernaturally had knives shooting out of her mouth at literally everything, which was rather dangerous, and Mariah’s boyfriend could not figure out how to unscrew the cap on a milk jug...
Mariah, in what was clearly a Jade West reference, was telling me that scissors had supernatural powers, with hidden “Brazilian knives” in them with infinite power to cut through space and time, telling me that these (mythical) “Brazilian knives” could be used by my parents and by me for self-defense when we were homeless.
We had to find somewhere else to stay. A corporation said they would let us sleep on the carpet of a disused room, but it was really an evil ploy, because this company’s CEO was “Sleazy McSlimy”, self-proclaimed “Leader of all corporate evil in the Greater Seattle Area” (in real life, I’ve never been anywhere near Seattle, so go figure...).
Meanwhile, interwoven with this plot was Satan taunting Britney Spears, telling her that, had she chosen Broadway in 1998, before naively going corporate, she could have had a wonderful life and career. In this alternate reality, Britney was the most acclaimed star on Broadway, and somehow, Britney going into Broadway prevented COVID (not sure how), so there was no lockdown!
In this alternate scenario, Britney won a Tony in 2020, and oddly enough, the “Bad Boy” Detroit Pistons of the 1980′s came on stage to congratulate her.
But the devil was showing this to Britney just to taunt her on what might have been, saying to her “1999 and you were mine!” referring to how she was made a serf by the record companies.
So in a time warp, Satan barged in on the alternate reality, interrupting a 2020 Broadway musical number and setting all of the performers on fire, except Britney, who managed to get off the stage just in time, aided to some extent by “alternate reality” me.
I yelled at Satan, “If you had any b@lls, I’d cut them off!”, simultaneously referring to the incorporeality of fallen angels and calling the devil a coward.
Then the nightmare jumped back to my parents and I sleeping on the corporation’s carpeted floor in Seattle. “Sleazy McSlimy”, the CEO, was really just another disguise of Satan, and was just about to start torturing me and my family with a power saw when the dream ended.
For an extended period of time, in my own bed, while awake, I was unsure of where I was, fearing that I was either homeless or about to be tortured.