Pairing: Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader
Words: 4,030 words (I got so carried away, but I just had so much that I wanted to go in for this chapter, I just couldn’t stop writing for it)
Warnings: slight angst (and I mean SLIGHT), mentions of sex, swearing, Sebastian being cute again
Summary: Your double date with Lin, Vanessa, and David is finally here. After you reveal how you’ve been feeling to your mom and Lin to Chris, neither of you can hold back any longer.
You laid there on your bed, a thousand thoughts running through your mind all at once, not once slowing down enough for you to completely process what was going on. What was Lin thinking? Why would he plan a double date when you both knew how you felt about each other? You were so hoping David would not want to go on a double date, but luck was not on your side.
Friday night was only two days away, and you had a feeling you weren’t going to be able to get yourself out of this situation, so might as well make the best of it, right? You planned your outfit perfectly; a beautiful red dress that barely passed your knees, and nice 3-inch silver heels. While you were watching the boys during the day, Sebastian came up to you and asked you a question you would never expect him to ask you-
“Yeah, Seb? What’s up, bud?”
“I think my daddy likes you.”
You looked at the little boy, a sparkle in his eyes that reflected those of his father’s. The saying was right, kids did see everything. Of course, you couldn’t tell him that he was right, you didn’t want him to think that you were trying to come between his mom and dad.
“Oh, buddy, I’m sure he does! He wouldn’t let me play with you guys if he didn’t, now would he?”
“I think he like likes you. He always looks at you funny when mommy is away. I think he likes you like he likes mommy.”
You sighed, of course, Sebastian knew, he was just like Vanessa. Still, how could Lin be so careless in the way he looked at you? You fell in love with him even more when you caught on to his gaze, there was just something about the way Lin looked at you that made you feel so… at home, so loved. You simply pat the young boy on his head and gave him a small kiss on his forehead then let him play with his brother before you got up to call your mom because you were tired of holding everything in, you had to tell someone.
“Hey, [Y/N]! What’s going on?”
“Hey, mom. Are you busy? I need to talk to you about something.”
“No, I’m not busy, is everything okay? What’s going on?”
“You remember Vanessa Nadal? One of my best friends from college, and you know how I’m living with her and her husband as a live-in sitter?”
“Of course, what about her? Did she kick you out? Oh, do you need a place to stay? You know you’re always welcome here at home-”
“Oh, no! No, she didn’t kick me out. Her husband, Lin-Manuel, he and I… well, we- I don’t know, exactly. I mean, when I moved in, I thought he was attractive, because oh God, mom, he’s so attractive, but I didn’t say anything to him or her for obvious reasons, but then I noticed that he seemed to feel the same way about me. After I got home from my date the other night, Lin-Manuel and I kissed. I mean, he kissed me, but I didn’t resist, I gave in, but I stopped it after I realized what was happening. Then the day after we kissed, he told me he was in love with me. And I know it’s wrong because he’s married, and to one of my best friends, but mom, every time I look at him, every time I hear his voice, I feel so complete and so at home. Tonight, David, Lin, Vanessa, and I are all going on a double date to see Lin’s show, Hamilton, and I just don’t know what to do.”
“Mi Hija (my daughter)… I know what you’re feeling, trust me, I felt it with your dad when I first met him, and I still feel that way every single day. You wanna be a good friend, I get that, and I know you would never want to hurt Vanessa, but you have to make a decision. What do you want for yourself? Do you want to be happy?”
“Of course I do, ma, but-“
“Then you need to talk to Vanessa.”
“I can’t. She loves him so much, this will kill her if she finds out. I can’t do that to her.”
“Let me tell you something… when I met your dad, I was in a long-term relationship with my high school boyfriend, and I thought he was the one. I loved him more than anything, and I thought that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together… All of that changed when I met your dad. He was also one of his best friends, and I knew right away that your dad was the one for me. Every time he walked into a room, it felt like everyone else disappeared and he and I were the only two in the whole world. It felt like my heart was being pulled to his, and I couldn’t deny my feelings, so I talked to my boyfriend, and I told him the truth. Of course, I loved him, but not in the same way as I had before, and he was hurt and upset, but he was happy that I told him rather than lead him on… That’s what you need to do, mi amor (my love). The way I told you how I feel when I see your dad, that’s how you feel about Lin-Manuel, isn’t it?”
You sniffled, tears rolling down your face because you knew she was right, you couldn’t hide this any longer, and you didn’t want Lin to end up in a situation where he could hurt Vanessa even more than what she already will be. You were in love with Lin.
“Yeah, it is… I don’t know, ma, this just sucks, I wasn’t expecting this to happen.”
“I know, we never expect to fall in love with someone who seems to have already found his or her partner, but it happens. Have you told Lin how you feel?”
“Not directly, no, but I know he knows.”
“You need to tell him, Mija.”
You sat in silence for a second then let out a deep sigh, wiping the tears away from your face.
“I know… I gotta get ready, I’ll talk to you later, mom.”
“Todo bien. Te quiero mucho, mi amor (All good. I love you very much, my love).”
As you hung up, you put your phone down next to you and ran your hands through your hair, taking a deep breath.
You have to tell him, [Y/N]. You have to tell him how you feel if you wanna be happy. You thought to yourself, but you had no idea how, when, or where you would tell him… In fact, you had no idea how you would tell him and then tell Vanessa. You shook it off then went back to the boys in the living room.
About 2 hours later, around 5:30, both Vanessa and Lin came home, and you all started getting ready for the show, your heart already beginning to race as you wondered how the night would play out and whether or not you would tell Lin or not. While you were getting ready, your phone started ringing, and David’s name popped up on the screen.
“Hey, [Y/N], I’m pretty much done getting ready, should I head over to Lin and Vanessa’s?”
“Uh, yeah! I think they called for a limo to pick the four of us up, so you can start heading over here. The show starts at 7:00, and we’re going to leave here around 6:00. I’m pretty sure Lin is already ready, so you can hang out with him while V and I finish getting ready. Sound good?”
“Yeah, that sounds perfect! See you soon.”
You hung up the phone then continued fixing your hair.
The doorbell rang, and Lin, already dressed and ready, got up from his spot on the couch to answer it.
“Hey, David! How are you?”
“I’m doing good! It’s so nice to finally meet you! I’ve been such a fan of Hamilton since you were in it.”
“Aw, thanks so much, that means a lot. Come on in!”
As Lin held the door open and stepped aside for David to come in, he felt himself beginning to think about how David was able to hold your hand whenever he wanted to now and nobody would care. He wanted what he had, but he knew that the consequences would be disastrous, but for you, Lin would give up everything he had worked for just so he could call you his.
“So, David, how was your date with [Y/N]?’
“It was great! Yeah, she’s really great and beautiful, I really enjoyed my time with her. By the way, thanks so much for inviting me to do this, like I said, I’ve been such a huge fan of your show, it’s crazy to me that I actually get to see it with the genius who created it! Sorry if that sounds super lame, I’m just really excited.”
“Haha, no problem!” Lin laughed, but inside, he felt horrible just because he didn’t want to hurt David or Vanessa. They were both so amazing and so sweet, neither of them deserved to go through the pain that they could possibly go through if they knew how you and Lin were both feeling.
You saw the two men sitting on the couch, both looking incredibly handsome in their suits, but the way Lin’s hair was messy yet still fixed nice and neat just made you fall so much more for him.
“[Y/N]! Hey! Wow… you look-“
“Beautiful…” Lin said to himself as he admired you in all of your beauty. He was completely over trying to deny his feelings for you, both emotional and physical, he couldn’t help it, you were singlehandedly the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on. Right behind you, Vanessa walked out and she looked stunning.
“Lin, you ready?“
“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. V, you look as gorgeous as always!” He said as he gave her a small peck on her lips, and when he did that, he held Vanessa close, so she could feel his arousal through his pants.
“Mm, you wanna go take care of that real quick?” She whispered to him, making sure you and David weren’t paying attention as she lightly ran her palm against the bulge in his pants.
“Oh, shit… Fuck, uh, babe, we can’t, the limo is here already.”
“The show doesn’t start until 7:00, and you know that we won’t have to wait in any lines… Let’s just go to the room real quick.”
It’s not that he didn’t want to take care of it, he didn’t want her to know that he got it because of you. Lin knew that if they went to the room right now, he would slip somehow and reveal his feelings for you.
“I think it’d be kinda rude to leave [Y/N] and David here. How about when we get home? I mean, the kids are with my parents, [Y/N] won’t hear, so it’ll just be us.”
“You’re right. Alright, you two ready?”
Vanessa asked as she turned to the two of you while Lin put his hands in his pockets, trying to hide his erection. You turned and looked over at Lin and noticed that he seems flustered, and when you made eye contact with him, he gave you a small smile. You don’t know what made you do it, but you looked down and saw why he seemed to be so flustered, and you started blushing as you started thinking about the two of you together, and the way his lips felt against yours when you kissed that one night.
“[Y/N]? You ready?"
“Yeah! V, you guys all good?”
“Yup, let’s get going!”
And so the four of you made your way down to the limousine that was waiting outside the building for you. The busy streets of New York City never failed to make you feel apart of something bigger than yourself, and you loved it. The ride to the Richard Rodgers was fairly quiet, nobody really saying much, but you felt Lin’s eyes admiring you the whole time, and you hoped that nobody noticed, and thankfully, the limo stopped before anyone said, or saw, anything.
“So, Lin, where are our seats?”
“Oh, this way… You’re gonna love this.”
As the four of you walked into the theater, your eyes shined in awe. You had never seen anything so beautiful. The seats you were sitting in were perfect, they were right in the middle but close enough to the stage where you could see every detail of the costumes. As you all sat down, you started hearing the crowd erupt in cheers and you turned towards Lin and noticed that the audience had seen him, and they were yelling to get his attention. Graciously, he stood up and waved to everyone, blowing a few kisses with his hand and yelling “I LOVE YOU!” before he sat back down.
“That happen a lot?” You asked him, a smile plastered on your face as he sat next to you, David to your right, admiring the venue.
“Yeah, but after some time, you get used to it. Plus, I don’t mind, I love knowing that I bring happiness to so many people, it’s what inspires me to keep doing what I do. Just knowing that I’ve changed so many lives just through my writing means so much to me…”
Your heart lit up at the sound of Lin talking so passionately about his work. Next to writing, you knew that bringing happiness to and helping other people was the most important thing to Lin when it came to his work.
“Would you ever give it up?”
“I don’t know, it depends.”
“Well, the only person I would give any of this up for would be- you.”
He stopped himself mid-sentence, saying the last word in his head, but stopping himself because he knew that Vanessa could easily hear him. You knew what he was thinking just because of the way he looked at you. Knowingly, you nodded your head and you both gave each other sad smiles, both of you wanting to do nothing more than to pull the other in for a kiss. Before any other kind of conversation happened, the lights dimmed, and the show began.
It was ‘That Would Be Enough’ when you started crying. The music and lyrics were so beautiful, and you couldn’t help but think of you and Lin during that song. It really felt like your heart was calling out for his and like you two were drawn to one another. Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt something move against your pinkie finger.
You looked down at your hand to see Lin slowly moving his pinkie towards yours, slowly and gently placing it on top of yours. You tensed at first, looking to your left then your right to make sure that neither David nor Vanessa weren’t looking. When you saw that everyone’s eyes were glued to the stage, you relaxed your body, let out a soft sigh, then wrapped your pinkie around Lin’s, your heart racing at the slightest bit of contact with him. You never knew that holding someone’s hand, well their pinkie, in this case, would be so exciting. The two of you stayed like that for the remainder of Act 1, letting go to clap during songs, but then going right back to each other when the applause came to a stop.
Act 1 ended, and you quickly moved your hand away from Lin’s before the lights came up. You stretched out your arms then said that you needed to go to the restroom which Vanessa agreed with you on, so you all went backstage to use the bathroom- being one of Lin’s guests definitely had its privileges.
“So, [Y/N], how are you liking the show?” Vanessa asked as you both stood at the mirror, touching up on any makeup that needed fixing or reapplying.
“Oh my gosh, V, it’s amazing. I started bawling at ‘That Would Be Enough’.”
“That was always gets me too. Do you think David likes it?”
“Oh yeah, I’m sure he’s loving this.”
“So, do you think things with him are gonna go anywhere?”
“I don’t know, honestly. I think so. I like him, and he seems to like me a lot. Plus, he’s super sweet and really cute too.”
“That’s awesome, I’m really glad to hear that, [Y/N]! You deserve to be happy!”
You smiled at her, then the two of you walked out back into the main area of the dressing rooms where you found Lin and David talking to Chris Jackson, Daveed Diggs, and Anthony Ramos. Right as you caught sight of Lin, he turned his head to look at you, and the two of you made eye contact, Lin looking down to hide his blush and hoping nobody noticed, but Chris knew Lin well, so he pulled him to the side to talk to him.
“What’s that about?”
“C’mon man, you know what I’m talking about.”
“I don’t know, Chris. I mean, she’s been with us for over a month and from the moment I met her, I felt something… Something that I had never felt with V before. I feel horrible for V about it, but with [Y/N] I just… She’s just so… I can’t describe it.”
“You fell in love with her, didn’t you?”
“No, I am falling in love with her. Every single day. Just seeing her, hearing her voice, it just feels like my heart, my SOUL, is calling out to hers like it’s being pulled towards her. I’ve never felt that way about Vanessa.”
“Shit, man. I don’t know what to tell you except you better figure this shit out before someone gets hurt. Vanessa loves you and-“
“I know. I hate knowing that this will ultimately end with her being heartbroken, but I can’t deny these feelings I have for [Y/N]. I did that for so long, and then we kissed and I-“
“Hold up, y’all KISSED?!”
Lin nodded his head, but before he could explain, the cast got their 5-minute call for Act 2.
“Look, Lin, you know I love you like a brother, but you gotta figure this out now.”
He nodded then watched Chris walk off. When he looked up towards you, he saw you talking to Jazzy and Renee, your smile lighting up his heart. When Renee and Jas walked away, the four of you walked back to your seats to get ready for Act 2.
“There’s nothing like Summer in the city… Someone under stress meets someone looking pretty… There’s trouble in the air, you can smell it. And Alexander’s by himself, I’ll let him tell it.”
You took a deep breath at the start of Say No To This, Lin’s hand was resting lightly on yours, but you started to feel it move down. The theater was dark, the only light was coming from the stage and nobody could see what was going on between the two of you. As the song played on, Lin’s hand moved lower until it landed on your knee, and when Alexander and Maria started kissing, you felt your heart begin to beat so fast and hard, you were sure the whole audience could hear it. All you could think about was the feeling of Lin’s hands running all over your body, touching you in all the right places, stroking your thighs so softly as he let his mouth work on you…
You then felt Lin move his hand a tiny bit higher, inching closer and closer to where you most desperately wanted him, but you thought about where you were and how easily either David or Vanessa could turn and see what was happening, so you grabbed Lin’s hand and placed it back on his side, and he left it there for the rest of Act 2.
When the show was over, you were left in tears, rising to your feet as soon as the lights blacked out as did the rest of the audience. Hamilton definitely lived up to the hype, and you loved every second of it. The four of you walked backstage to chat with the cast and crew and to have a couple of drinks. A whole group of you were chatting in the sitting area, your hand being held firmly by David’s as you talked to some of the cast members. When Lin-Manuel and Vanessa made their way over to the two of you, David turned to Lin,
“Lin, I have to say, your show definitely lived up to my expectations. It was… amazing to say the very LEAST. Thank you so much for inviting [Y/N] and I here, it was an amazing way to spend our second date."
“Well, I’m glad you both enjoyed it. Speaking of, [Y/N], can I talk to you about something for a second?”
You followed Lin up to what you recognized as his old dressing room. He shared it with Groff, and he was gone already, so the two of you had the room to yourselves.
“Um, is everything alright?”
Lin said nothing as he walked in behind you, closing and then locking the door as he walked in. He turned to you, his eyes shining, and then your mind went numb as the next thing you felt was his hands gently holding your face and his lips pressing themselves against yours. You immediately gave in, your arms wrapping themselves around his neck as his hands moved to your waist, pulling your body firmly against his. This kiss was so much more passionate than the first one, his hands were roaming your body as if this was the first time he had ever laid hands on a woman, and he picked you up like he did the first time and put you atop the vanity that was in the room, his lips moving to your neck as you let out a soft sigh, the feeling giving you butterflies all in your stomach and making your heart do flips. Just then, you felt him start to lightly grind his hips into yours, his arousal once again becoming evident through his pants as he grinded against you.
“What’s wrong, love?”
You blushed at the sound of him calling you that, it felt so right.
“We shouldn’t be doing this… I want you so bad.”
“Lin, we can’t… I want to, I really want to, but we can’t.”
“Do you love me?”
“I think you already know the answer to that, Lin-Manuel… You know I do, but I have to think about David, about Vanessa, don’t you love her?”
“Of course I love her, but not in the way I love you. I feel something with you, something that I’ve never felt with Vanessa- I feel drawn to you. Don’t you feel it, [Y/N]? It’s like, every time I look at you, I feel like everything stops, nobody exists in the world except you and me, and I can’t help but fall in love with you every time I see you or hear your voice or see you smile.”
Just say yes…
His breath fanned across your lips as he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes begging, pleading for you to give in to him and show him how much you knew you loved him. He was right, you knew he was right, you knew for a fact that the way he described how he feels about you was the exact same way you felt about him. You couldn’t deny it. You could feel his very soul reaching and calling out to yours, wanting to do nothing more than to share his love with you, and you could feel your soul doing the same thing. With one more thought, you finally just said,
Chapter Five, Chapter Seven