#Rocket Raccoon Tumblr posts

  • Does the Mandalorian and Baby Yoda give anyone else Rocket and Groot vibes or is it just me?

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  • Wait a minute. Didn’t the actor raccoon die?

    Because I’m getting replies about the physical and voice actors who ARE alive. I just wanna let people know I’m talking about the trained raccoon actor who portrayed Rocket. Who did in fact die last year. So thank you @words-to-accomplish-something for helping me

    #marvel cinematic universe #gaurdians of the galaxy #rocket raccoon
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         "How the hell is this dude still alive?“ Peter looked down at the unconscious man’s body. Y/N reached down to touch the man, but Peter grabbed her wrist. He gave her a look as Drax said in fascination, "He is not a dude. You’re a dude. This… This is a man. A handsome, muscular man.”

         Peter stared at him in disbelief, “I’m muscular!”

         "Who are you kidding, Quill?“ Rocket butted in, "You’re one sandwich away from fat.”

         "Yeah right,“ Peter’s smile faded slightly.

         "It’s true. You have gained a little weight,” Drax motioned to his chin and belly. Gamora walked around the table that the man was laying on, and stopped next to Drax. Peter looked at her, “Gamora, do you think I’m…”

         Gamora ignored him. He looked back at Drax before turning to Y/N, “Y/N?”

         Y/N blushed and shook her head slightly. Peter felt a small shred of pride return but was interrupted by Mantis. She placed her hand on his head, “He is anxious. Angry… He feels tremendous loss and guilt.”

         "It’s like a pirate had a baby with an angel,“ Drax was staring at the man in awe, eyes scanning his entire body. Peter huffed, "Wow. This is a real wake-up call for me. Okay. I’m gonna get a Bowflex. I’m gonna commit. I’m gonna get some dumbbells.”

         "You know you can’t eat dumbbells, right?“ Peter glared at Rocket.

         Gamora ran her hand down the man’s arm. She pulled Y/N over to her and placed Y/N’s hand where she had just felt. Y/N gasped, "It’s like his muscles are made of Cotati metal fibers.”

         "Stop massaging his muscles.“ Y/N looked up to see jealousy written all over Peter’s face. She sheepishly let go of the man’s arm and took a step back. Peter muttered to Mantis, "Wake him up.”

         She placed her hand on his forehead, “Wake.”

         The man immediately jumped up from the table, startling the Guardians. They swiftly pulled out their weapons and pointed them at him. He panted, “Who the hell are you guys?”


         The Guardians stood around Thor while he ate. They had given him some soup, which he took with gratitude.

         Gamora stood apart from the rest, looking out the front window, “The entire time I knew Thanos, he only ever had one goal: To bring balance to the Universe by wiping out half of all life. He used to kill people planet by planet, massacre by massacre…”

         "Including my own…“ Drax said solemnly.

         "If he gets all six Infinity Stones, he can do it with the snap of his fingers, like this,” She snapped her fingers as she walked over to the group. Thor twisted his spoon in one hand, “You seem to know a great deal about Thanos.”

         "Gamora… is the daughter of Thanos.“ Thor looked up at Drax, then Gamora. She looked down, avoiding his gaze.

         "Your father killed my brother!” Thor stood and strode toward Gamora aggressively. Y/N tried to stop him, but he merely pushed her to the side. Peter glared at him and stepped in front of Gamora, “Stepfather. Technically. She hates him as much as you do.”

         Peter’s words softened Thor a bit. He stopped in front of Gamora, “Families can be tough. Before my father died, he told me I had a half-sister… that he imprisoned in Hel. Then she returned home, and stabbed me in the eye, so… I had to kill her… It’s life, isn’t it, I guess. Goes round and round and… I feel your pain.”

         Y/N flinched as he turned to her. Thor smiled apologetically and clapped a hand on her shoulder, “I am very sorry for pushing you. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

         Peter glared at Thor’s hand, clearly on the verge of a full snarl. He moved from his spot in front of Gamora to cut between Y/N and Thor, “I am very sorry too, I should’ve protected you from him when he pushed you. I mean, it’s not a competition, but I could’ve easily taken him down.”

         Thor walked away, not paying attention to Peter as he stared at his soup spoon, “I need a hammer, not a spoon…”

         Y/N glanced at Peter, who was staring at Thor as he fiddled with some machinery. Thor tapped randomly on a screen, “How do I open this thing? Is there some sort of a four-digit code maybe? Maybe a birth date or something…”

         Rocket spoke up, “Uh what are you doing?”

         "Taking your pod.“

         "No, you’re not!” Peter stepped forward, deepening his voice, “You’ll not be taking our pod today, sir.”

         Y/N giggled at his ridiculous attempt at Thor’s accent. Rocket gave him a funny look, “Quill. Are you making your voice deeper?”


         "You are. You’re imitating the god-man. It’s weird,” Drax commented.

         "No I’m not.“

         Mantis gasped, "He just did it again!”

         "This is my voice!“

         Thor stepped closer to Peter, "Are you mocking me?”

         "Are you mocking me?“ Peter curled his lip. Y/N stepped out from behind him as the tension grew between the pair.

         "Stop it. You did it again,” Thor began to grow irritated.

         Peter turned towards the group, “He’s trying to copy me.”

         "Would you stop doing that?“

         "Okay, enough! Peter, knock it off! Thor, chill!” Y/N stepped between the pair. Peter stared at her in jealousy as she pushed Thor a foot away by placing her delicate hand on his chest. Gamora spotted the look in Peter’s eyes when she did that, and quickly shuffled the other Guardians into a different area of the ship.

         Peter grabbed Y/N’s hand off Thor’s chest and spun her to face him, “Who is more manly: Me or pirate angel?”

         Y/N blushed and looked down. She couldn’t bear to hurt either of their feelings, “I-I don’t know.”

         Thor grinned at Peter. The challenge was on. He moved closer to the pair, “Why don’t we prove our manliness to you?”

         Y/N stood in shock, not knowing how to respond. The two men took her silence as agreement. Peter remembered how she had been captivated by Thor’s muscles. He shrugged off his jacket and threw it behind him. Next, he pulled off his shirt in one swift move.

         Thor, not wanting to be shown up, did the same, but pulled Y/N to his chest. She sucked in a breath as he grasped her chin with one hand and kissed her passionately. Peter’s heart skipped a beat as he beheld the woman he loved kissing another man. Granted, she didn’t know that he loved her, but he flirted with her all the time.

         "Dude what do you think you’re doing to MY woman?“ Peter snarled at Thor. Thor merely pulled away from Y/N and smiled, "Just showing her how a worthy man should kiss.”

         Peter’s eyes narrowed. He stormed over and yanked Y/N out of Thor’s arms. He wrapped one hand around the base of her neck and the other found its way to the small of her back. He pulled her body to his and smashed his lips onto hers. Thor’s kiss had been passionate, but Peter’s was full of jealousy. He pulled off her jacket and shirt and set her on the table where Thor had been earlier.

         Thor decided to join in again and began sucking and biting at Y/N’s chest and neck. He undid her bra and threw it across the room. Peter left Y/N’s mouth and traveled down to her shorts. He pulled them down, along with her panties. She was now completely naked. Y/N noticed this and began pulling at Peter’s pants, trying to tug them off. He smirked at Thor as he yanked off his jeans, revealing his dick.

         Much to his disappointment, Y/N did not give him attention first and instead, reached over to Thor to remove his pants as well. Peter and Thor both silently judged whose length was bigger. They were about the same length, but Thor’s was a tad bit thicker.

         Y/N didn’t notice as she took them in her hands and began stroking at a steady pattern. She would slow down and speed up randomly, driving the two men crazy. Peter moaned as he felt his release coming. Y/N quickly took him in her mouth. She bobbed her head in rhythm with her hand, which still held Thor’s length.

         "Ah, Y/N, I’m gonna cum!“ Peter groaned. Y/N hummed in reply, sending vibrations down his cock. This was the last straw. Peter came with a yell, shooting streams of cum down Y/N’s throat. He pulled out of her mouth and was replaced by Thor. Y/N repeated everything that she had just done for Peter. Within seconds, Thor came as well.

         The two men pushed Y/N down onto the table, laying her on her back. Thor moved over to her nether regions and began rubbing her. Y/N’s back arched in surprise and pleasure. Peter licked and sucked at her breasts as Thor added one finger, then another, then another. Y/N moaned as Thor pleasured her. She felt a knot in her stomach and knew that she was seconds away from cumming.

         "T-Thor, I’m gonna–!” She was cut off by her first orgasm of many. Thor continued to finger her, waiting for her to finish riding out her high. Peter grew jealous and nudged Thor, motioning for him to switch places. Peter rubbed up and down his length a few times before grabbing his discarded belt. He swiftly tied Y/N’s arms above her head. He slowly entered her and waited for her to adjust before moving. Her eyes flew open and her mouth widened into an ‘O’ as he pumped faster.

         She moaned loud enough for the other Guardians to hear her. They were pretty much scarred for life now. Thor quickly pressed his lips onto hers, trying to quiet her without using a gag. Peter and Y/N reached their breaking points and came at the same time. Thor let go of her lips and moved down to Peter. He turned Y/N on her side and entered her while Peter was still inside of her.

         "T-Thor!“ Y/N’s walls clenched around the pair. There wasn’t much room to move, but the two men figured out a way for maximum pleasure. One would push in while the other would pull out. It was like a seesaw of sex. Y/N was ready for a turn.


         An hour later, the trio was completely exhausted. They laid next to each other on the bed they had moved to at some point. The last hour was pretty much a blur for all three of them.

         Y/N laid between the two men. Thor was on her left and Peter was on her right. They were both gasping for air after their last orgasm. Y/N turned to face Peter. She smiled at him before doing the same to Thor.

         Peter suddenly sat up, eyes wide, "Babe, are you on the pill?!”

         Y/N looked taken aback for a moment, “Of course I am! You really think I would stay on this ship with you without having some type of protection?”

         Peter smiled for a moment before understanding what she meant, “Hey!”

         Y/N laughed and kissed him, “I’m just kidding Star-Lord.”

         Peter could feel his cock grow hard when she said his nickname. The way she said it drove him crazy. He was ready for another session but was interrupted by Thor.

         "So, Y/N, who is the manlier man?“


    If you liked my writing, please feel free to request in the comments or message me directly!

    #avengers #avenger x reader #gotg imagine #guardians of the galaxy #peter quill#x reader#reader#imagine#oneshot#thor#gamora #drax the destroyer #drax#rocket raccoon #we are groot #i am groot #rocket and groot #mantis#infinity war#infinity stones#thanos#smut
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    WARNING: Endgame spoilers! Also some kissing and death.

    Y/N: Your name

    E/C: Eye color

    H/L: Hair length

    H/C: Hair color

    F/N: Father’s name

         "Alright. Bring it down low… Right on that line. That’s it… down…down…“ Rhodey got off the Benatar as it was landing. Clint called over to him, "Hey, can we hurry it up?”

         "Guys, chop-chop. Come on. We’re on a clock,“ Y/N walked over to the pair, Nebula close behind. Clint watched as she fiddled with the ships’ controls, directing it to the next destination, "All that, is really helpful.”

         Nebula looked up at him for a moment before turning back to what she was doing. Rhodey leaned over to Y/N and hugged her, “Take care, okay?”

        Y/N smiled and hugged him back, “Yeah.”

         "Take that stone and come back. No messing around.“

         Clint looked at Rhodey, "Hey. You got this.”

         "Yes sir,“ Rhodey gave Clint a slight smile. Y/N walked back to the ship with Clint, "See you back.”

         "You guys watch each other’s six.“ Y/N and Clint look back and smile. Y/N gave a little wave as Clint replied, "Yeah.”

         They walked back into the ship as the hatch closed. It took off and sped towards Vormir. Nebula watches the ship as it disappeared from the atmosphere, “The coordinates for Vormir are laid in. All they have to do is not fall out.”


         Back in the Benatar, Y/N and Clint stared out of the front of the ship. It took a jump through space and sped up. Clint looked at Y/N, “We’re an awful long way from London.”

         Y/N jumped and looked at him startled as she comprehended his words. Her eyes widened as she realized what he meant and she laughed.

         Clint looked directly in her E/C eyes as she laughed. He studied the flecks of color in her pupils, her H/L H/C hair that shifted with each gasp for breath. He leaned in towards her as her laughter died out. Y/N smiled at him as he gently took hold of her hand and rubbed patterns along her palm with his thumb.

         "Hey, what’s wrong Clint?“ He had stopped smiling. His gaze shifted from her eyes to her full, soft lips. His mouth opened slightly as his eyes fluttered back up to Y/N’s. He suddenly spun her around, pushing her against the wall. She gasped as his hand moved up her arm to her neck. He reached behind her head, pulling her closer to him by the back of her head.

         "C-Clint, what are you doing?” He ignored her and slammed his lips against hers. Her eyes widened in surprise. Y/N had loved him for the longest time, and then the thing in London happened, but she wasn’t sure if he had truly loved her back. Until now.

         Clint wasn’t too rough, but he wasn’t gentle about his intentions. When Y/N decline him access to her mouth, he pinched her butt, causing her to gasp. He took the opportunity to ravage her mouth.

         She felt a wave of need fly across her body as he traveled from her mouth to her neck. He sucked and bit at the dip between her neck and collarbone before creating a trail of hickeys down her chest. Clint looked up at her as she moaned, “God I love you so much.”

         Y/N was about to reply when she felt the ship lurch underneath her. Clint glanced towards the front window to see Vormir. They looked at each other as they stepped outside. Y/N internally groaned at what she could’ve just missed out on. Clint stared at the huge mountain in front of them, “Wow… Under different circumstances, this would be totally awesome.”

         Y/N only sighed and began walking.


         "I bet the raccoon didn’t have to climb a mountain,“ Y/N muttered as she slipped on yet another loose rock. Clint reached down and helped her up, "Technically, he’s not a raccoon, you know.”

         "Whatever. He eats garbage,“ Y/N brushed herself off and kept walking. Clint chuckled and followed her. As they turned a corner, they heard a voice in front of them.

         "Welcome.” Clint and Y/N whipped out their guns, aiming them at an approaching figure. “Y/N, daughter of F/N. Clint, son of Edith.”

         "Who are you?“ Y/N watched as the figure stepped into view, revealing Red Skull.

         "Consider me a guide. To you, and to all who seek the Soul Stone.”

         "Oh good. You tell us where it is. Then we’ll be on our way.“

         "If only it were that easy.” Y/N glanced at Clint as Red Skull led them to a cliff.

         "What you seek lies in front of you… as does what you fear.“

         "The stone is down there,” Y/N stared at the bottom of the cliff, examining the stone floor. It had a round, intricate pattern around the cliff. It also seemed to have darker spots nearer to the cliff.

         "For one of you. For the other… In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. An everlasting exchange. A soul, for a soul.“


         Y/N sat on a nearby log, analyzing what he had said. Clint studied Red Skull for a moment before looking back at her, "How’s it going? Jesus… Maybe he’s making this shit up.”

         "No, I don’t think so.“

         Clint chuckled humorlessly, "Why, ‘cause he lives here? ‘Cause he knows that we’re desperate?”

         Y/N glared at him before sighing, "Thanos left here with the stone without his daughter. It’s not a coincidence.”

         "Yeah,“ Clint muttered.

         "Whatever it takes,” Y/N registered what had to be done. Clint watched the expression on her face and recognized what Red Skull had meant.

         "Whatever it takes,“ Clint whispered as Y/N stood.

         Y/N turned to face him, "If we don’t get that stone, billions of people stay dead.”

         Clint smiled sadly, “Then I guess we both know who it’s gotta be.”

         "I guess we do.“ Clint reached out for Y/N’s hand. She looked down at his outstretched hand and looked back up to see the hopeful look on his face. Y/N took his hand.

         "I’m starting to think, we’ve been different people here, Y/N”

         "For the last five years I’ve been trying to do one thing: Get to right here. That’s all it’s been about… Bringing everybody back.“

         Clint laughed, "Oh, don’t you get all decent on me now.”

         Y/N glanced at the cliff before glared at him, “What, you think I wanna do it? I’m trying to save your life, you idiot!”

         "Yeah well, I don’t want you to, because I… I love you so much Y/N. I couldn’t bear to lose you. You know what I’ve done. You know what I’ve become.“

         "I don’t judge people on their worst mistakes.”

         "Maybe you should.“

         "You didn’t. You even fell in love with me.”

         "You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?“

         Y/N laughed and leaned her forehead against his. He reached up and gripped her chin with one hand, brushing back a loose piece of hair with the other. He leaned in and kissed her. It wasn’t a rough or needy kiss. It was soft and gentle, unlike the situation.

         Clint pulled back, watching Y/N’s eyes flutter open, "Okay. You win.”

         She looked up at him confused as he gave her a gentle smile. It quickly morphed into a sad smile as he kicked the back of her knee, knocking her to the ground, “I love you.”

         Y/N grabbed his arm and pulled him down beside her before swiftly getting to her feet, “I love you more.”

         With that, she electrocuted him and began running toward the cliff. Clint struggled on the ground for a moment before leaping to his feet and shooting an explosive arrow next to her, knocking her down. She groaned and looked up at him and he threw his bow off to the side. He glanced at her as he sprinted to the side of the cliff, leaping off.

         Y/N threw herself off after him, grabbing him and hooking him up to a grappling hook, shooting it into the side of the cliff. She grunted as the line snapped tight, swinging the pair into the stone wall. Y/N was shaken out of Clint’s arms when they collided. He quickly grabbed her arm with one hand.

         He saw the line holding the pair up and looked back down at Y/N, “Damn you!”

         Her eyes were wide as he attempted to reach her with his other hand. He was so close to grabbing her hand, but couldn’t stretch any farther. He groaned in pain and had to grab onto the rope to keep them both from falling.

         Y/N felt her hand slipping. She glanced down at the stone floor. She could see from there that the darker spots were not just dark stone. They were pools of dried blood. She looked back up at Clint. Her voice shook slightly, “Let me go.”

         His face was contorted with pain and despair as he groaned, “No. Please, no.”

         Y/N’s face was filled with peace and love, “It’s okay.”

         Clint’s eyes welled up with tears, “Please Y/N! I… love you.”

         Y/N simply nodded before kicking off the wall, ripping her hand free from Clint’s grasp. His face filled with shock as she plummeted to the ground, “NO!”

         He tried to pull himself free, but could only stare at her body as multiple emotions flickered across his face. Despair, regret, sorrow, heartache, hopelessness. Blood pooled around Y/N’s body as the sky began to create a funnel of light around the mountain.

         The sky rippled and teleported Clint into a large pool of water. He felt something in his hand and uncurled his fingers to reveal a small, glowing orange stone. Tears dripped from his face as he hit the ground in anger. His Quantum Suit activated and he shrunk back into 2023.


         "Did we get them all?“ Bruce asked as soon as Clint appeared.

         Rhodey looked at him, "You telling me this’ll actually work?”

         Bruce glanced around at the other Avengers before looking at Clint, “Clint… where’s Y/N?”


    Please feel free to comment what you think, what I should do next, what I could do better, etc.

    Thank you for reading!!! <3

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  • Valkyrie: Why is your back all scratched up?

    Natasha: (flashbacks to her chasing after a raccoon that looked like rocket after Val told her to leave it alone)

    Natasha: I’m having an affair.

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    I got a bug, so I decided to write this ridiculous nonsense.

    Adventures in Babysitting

    The ship hummed softly as the power-down sequence began, and Rocket was quick to hop out of the pilot’s chair and make his way back to the makeshift child seat Gamora insisted he use. Something-something safety, something-something, blah-blah-blah, whatever.* Groot’s safety is and always will be number one, but it’s insulting that she thinks a glorified bucket with a seat harness is going to do shit. Rolling his eyes to himself, he lifts the “baby carrier” by the handle and disembarks, wincing in the bright sunlight on Peter’s home world.

    He probably should have told Peter he was going to come, see if the guy had any family to visit. Ah well. Too late now, time to meet his old pal to drop off the kid before getting down to business.


    Dyn Jarren was, to put it mildly, exhausted. After Sporog, there had been nine other planets, either too hostile or where they were too easily found. Nine.* So he’d decided to… Branch out a bit. Hit the next Galaxy over- he had contacts there, a Mandalorian covert hiding away on the moon of some backwater planet called Terra where the locals had barely managed to intrude on the dead rock, let alone notice the comings and goings of the refugees on their own moon. One of these Terrans had even gained that most precious of commodities years ago, the Mandalorian’s trust.

    There were three shootouts, a target’s gills getting infected with fishrot, and said Terran actually convincing the target to be encased in Carbonite willingly. It was a wild four days, but the man was trustworthy, never having breathed a word of what happened during his “spirituality retreat.”

    Landing in a tucked away copse of trees near his contact’s current location, he hefts The Child into his arms, turning his head to shush him gently.

    “None of that. It’s faster if I carry you.”

    Without another word he disembarked down the gangplank and set off at a brisk pace, following the coordinates in his helmet’s display.


    Keanu was sitting in the sunny Northern California early afternoon, dozing off if he were to tell the truth, at the rather larger home than he really needed that had been rented for the next week. He wanted plenty of room for Rocket and his young ward to explore and relax though, so this was his best option. It was secluded, no neighbors for miles, with a dense forest to the back and miles of vineyards in lieu of the missing neighbors.

    A coo only a few feet from him caused him to jerk fully awake suddenly, eyes opening to see a man he’d never expected to see again and- was that a child?

    Standing, he greeted the unexpected guest from outer space with a pleased smile.

    “Mando! Man, wow, it’s been like- six years? How are you? And who’s this little guy??” As he approached his face broke into a more intimate grin as he made eye contact with the tiny green child, delight lighting up his face as The Child gifted him with another coo.

    The Mandalorian, for his part, gives a neutral hum that borders on pleased. “This is The Child. We’re currently hiding from parties that want him dead- or worse. I was hoping we could lay low here for a while- is that alright with you?”

    Keanu, for his part, is astounded at that story, but the only question that passes through his lips is, “Mando, have you not… Named your kid?”

    Despite being able to see exactly none of the Mandalorian’s face, he can practically feel* the other man’s blush. “… It hasn’t been important so far.”


    “Keanu.” Unexpected, deadpan snark from his friend, but he rolls with it. Abruptly, he remembers his manners and invites them hurriedly, offering food and beverages. Dyn declines both for himself, but soup for The Child if he has it. Keanu does and quickly begins heating some on the stove. While that’s working, he tries to figure out how to tell the bounty hunter about his other, expected visitor.


    As it turns out, the Mandalorian wasn’t terribly fussed about his having other guests, so long as they didn’t try to harm either the man or the* child, though the Terran man was subjected to a hard stare he couldn’t see but could definitely feel when he mentioned his other guests were “a little unusual-looking.”

    Rocket, true to form, didn’t bother with knocking, though Keanu was openly relieved he used a door at all for entering the abode. The bipedal raccoon, on the other hand, was distinctly and obviously uncomfortable. With a blatantly false smile across his snout and speaking through his teeth, Rocket jerks his head a few times back towards the living room from the doorway of the kitchen where he’d abruptly halted.

    “Hey, Neo, need to talk to you real quick. In here. Away from the bounty hunter.”

    The implacable stare of the helmet followed them out of the room and until they turned the corner, Rocket leading his friend halfway up the stairs leading to the bedrooms. Before Keanu can speak, Rocket is standing- somehow- on the railing and gripping the collar of his jacket, pulling him close to mutter threateningly in his face. “I don’t know what that guy has told you, but I don’t have any more bounties on my head. I went straight, we all went straight, we’re doing good now. I won’t let some Mandalorian asshole with out of date information skin me for credits, you got it?”

    “I’m not here on a bounty.”

    Both man and raccoon in the stairwell jump, looking down at the Mandalorian standing with crossed arms. He continues, unperturbed by the blatant hostility of the raccoon that scampers down the stairs to stand eye to… Well, hip, until he takes advantage of the banister again. “I’m just laying low for a while. Needed a place to hide. Keanu mentioned you were coming.” At the last sentence Rocket glares back at the man, before Mando dryly adds, “We were unexpected. You weren’t.”

    Keanu decides that he needs a strong mug of tea.


    So once helmet-head and his little goblin child are settled in the dining area, Rocket goes to collect Groot and his- bucket, no, carrier- from where he’d left him napping in the sun. He is completely unsurprised that his own little monster child has managed to escape the prison of the child seat and is frolicking in the yard after a butterfly or some shit. Rocket allows himself the barest moment of tender enjoyment of watching Groot just be happy, before he knuckles up and shouts across the open lawn.

    “Hey Groot, come meet your babysitter! I don’t got all day, hurry it up!” The tree person- is he a shrub right now? He’s small enough to be a shrub- comes scampering across the yard, stopping in front of Rocket, crossing his arms, and indignantly huffing.

    “I am Groot.”

    “Yes, you do. I can’t leave you on the ship by yourself for a couple of days.”

    “I am Groot!”

    “Because I’m the adult and you’re not right now.”

    “I am Groot?”

    “Keanu. Don’t give me that look, that’s his real name.”

    “I am Groot.”

    “Look who’s talkin’! You think either of us have room to be critical of someone else’s name?”

    “… I am Groot…”

    “That’s what I thought. Now c'mon, he’s waiting inside and he made you food, so be grateful.”

    He takes his ward’s hand, leading him inside. More to himself than anything, he mutters, “But Keanu is a weird fuckin’ name…”


    The second meeting with the children present goes much smoother than the first. They sit and share a meal- with the exception of Dyn Jarren, who answers endless questions about Mandalorians, his helmet, his weapons, and anything else Rocket can think of to annoy him with, with a remarkable amount of patience- if not without more of the snark Keanu witnessed earlier. The fathers then send their children to play, with stern warnings about not leaving the yard that are, the Terran is sure, going to be completely ignored. He has to grip Mando’s sleeve to get him to sit and stay after some noises of play begin and the man slightly panics.

    Rocket, for his part, decides to refuse to be this much of a worrywart over Groot upon observing the bounty hunter’s near-palpable anxiety over his foundling.

    Keanu decides to get into the practicalities of the next few days, asking what each child likes to eat, when they’re supposed to sleep, and what discipline they’re used to, ready to take notes.

    Both Mandalorian and raccoon stare at him blankly after the first question. He tries again, starting with what he thought was the easiest question.

    “what time do they generally go to sleep?”

    “Uhhh, Groot just sorta passes out when he’s tired. Usually about… 9ish? I guess?”

    “Does he nap during the day?”

    “How’m I supposed to know, I’m workin’! He just sleeps when he’s tired.”


    The bounty hunter’s shoulders drop slightly in what might be classed as defeat. “He sleeps all the time in about two hour chunks, then he’s up for about five.” When the Terran blinks at him in what looks a lot like confusion, he sighs. “I’ve tried getting him to sleep longer, but unless he ends up using his abilities, it’s just not happening.”

    Keanu nods in what appears to be deliberate lack of judgement, making notes on either side of his page. Rocket snatches the paper almost as soon as he’s done with his bedtime notes, barking a laugh at the name given for The Child.

    “Mando Jr.? Really, bounty hunter? You couldn’t come up with anything better?”

    “… I didn’t come up with it.”

    “So what’s his real name?”

    “… It’s not important. That’ll do for now.”

    And so the conversation went, discipline being a similarly baffling subject for both of them. When it came to food though, they found surprising common ground.


    Keanu made a continue gesture after they both looked at each other in surprise, before Rocket jocularly punched Dyn on the shoulder. Dyn, for his part, just seemed exhausted. Keanu could relate.

    "Soup. Small bits of meat… Mushrooms. Insects if he can catch them.”

    “Groot’ll eat anything, kid’s a trash compactor. We done here?”

    Keanu is more than happy to finish out the conversation there, releasing them to go check in on their kids before headed out. Sometime in the last few hours, Rocket had decided a Mandalorian was pretty good backup for what he was doing and asked if Dyn would like to come along. The bounty hunter had sighed heavily before nodding his agreement.

    Which brought them back around to the sitter conversation that now had Keanu reaching for the tea kettle again.

    It was going to be a long three days.


    Keanu, for his part, was pleased to discover Groot had no problems retreating to his and Rocket’s room at 9pm for bed. The Yiddling, as was the name that seemed to stick for the sitter, was another story.

    He whined, he grizzled, he even squealed a time or two. The Terran just kept calmly holding the kid and bouncing gently, singing half-remembered lullabies to the child as it slowly, eventually, tired itself out. Keanu very gently lowered the child into the crib he’d acquired from the bounty hunter’s ship before they left, taking the three steps back to his bed to collapse backwards into the sheets and blissfully drop off after hours of soothing a fussy toddler who could move things with his mind.

    For two hours. Then the crying began again.

    It was a long night for everybody, and the sitter was more than happy to go start the coffee pot just as the first fingers of sunlight began to creep over the treetops behind the house. By the time he had breakfast prepared for the two children under his care, the kitchen was bathed in golden morning sunlight. The two ate well, then his little tree-like charge turned to him with a stubborn tilt to his head.

    “I am Groot.”

    “A nature walk? Why?”

    “I am Groot!”

    “I somehow really doubt the forests of Earth are your ancestral home.”

    “I am Groot!”

    “… You know what, an excellent point. You two can find all the frogs you like and I won’t have to attempt to catch any for you. We’ll go in a little bit, okay? I need to pack you both lunches in case we’re out for a while, and I need to put together that thing.”

    “That thing” was, in fact, a jogging stroller for doubles. A quick overnight delivery after the arrival of not one, but two children in his care necessitated it, and it had arrived promptly at 8am. He cleaned up after his little charges, helped them both wash their hands in the sink, and then sent them to play for a while as he carefully read the instructions for assembly.

    One hour, two bandages, and a hurried, “don’t repeat that!” tossed in a nosey Groot’s direction after some overheard profanity, and the babysitter had the stroller ready. He packed two quick lunches based on the Yiddling’s preferences- as his was the more specified, and Groot really would eat anything, including the plate- and got them all out the door, a bag of essentials that he resolutely would not call a diaper bag tucked into the very-convenient compartment beneath the seats of the stroller and took them down the path that had a trail head right there in the backyard. Keanu decided Groot really did have an excellent idea with this.


    Two hours later Keanu was smugly pleased with both the nature walk and the double stroller. Both kids were passed out asleep in their stroller seats, snoring gently with the remains of their lunches clasped gently in sticky fingers- twigs? Claws? Fingers was just easier for Keanu’s exhausted but triumphant brain- and resting lightly in their laps. He was now taking a leisurely stroll back to the house, enjoying the peace as much as communing with nature.

    And so that’s how the three spent the next several sleep-deprived days. Breakfast, stroller, wander through nature (one extremely disturbing frog-hunting hour around a pond that he’s never mentioning to another living soul except for maybe their parents) lunch and afternoon naps, playing tag and other such games in the yard, dinner, and then a fraught bedtime with the little Yiddling.

    When their parents returned, Rocket was nearly bowled over by an excited Groot, being squeezed happily by suddenly very long toddler tree arms. The Mandalorian was passed The Child by a tired but very happy Keanu, who reported to both parents that they were good kids and behaved. Mando was surprised in equal measure by both the Yiddling- he was keeping that name for him, thank-you Keanu- falling asleep in his arms immediately, and the sitter in question’s flabbergasted stare that soon melted into a soft, gentle smile.

    As they each departed for their ships after what was decidedly a warmer and noisier splash than The Mandalorian had wanted to make on this planet, they were both secretly pleased at just how comfortable their children had been with the Terran, and at how well they’d been able to work together.

    Perhaps they’d have to do this again sometime.

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  • brxve-hexrt

    replied to your



    when the tumblr app screws up and…

    I mean, David Tennant is Peter Davison’s son-in-law. ������

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  • Peter: Rocket was a really great laser tag partner, too.  He’s tiny so he’s allowed to push kids.

    #incorrect quotes #guardians of the galaxy #peter quill#rocket raccoon#submission #source: how i met your mother
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  • 25 Days Of Christmas

    Day 2 - Crown

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    • Peter: This is my ship, and I'm gonna defend it.
    • Tony: Really? And how do you plan to do that?
    • Peter: With this.
    • Tony: You're going to hit them with a box?
    • Peter: No. This is my disruptor pistol.
    • [He opens the box and finds a note inside. Tony reads it.]
    • Tony: "Dear Quill, I used parts of your disruptor to fix my big gun. Will return them soon. Rocket."
    • Peter: I will kill him.
    • Tony: With what?
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  • Summary: 5 years have passed and Thor is still pining for his ex. Rocket, his new friend, decides to take matters into his own hands.

    Warnings: Swearing


    Keep reading

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  • Sometimes, I am Rocket Racoon.

    Other times,…

    I am Groot.

    #marvel#mcu #marvel cinematic universe #rocket raccoon#baby groot#adolescent groot#teen groot#groot #rocket and groot #guardians of the galaxy #guardians of the galaxy vol. 2 #guardians of the galaxy vol. 3 #i said what i said #i am groot
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  • image

    That’s Right!

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  • Synopsis: We finally cut to Pearl, Steven, and Connie, though we find they may be late to the action. This is where we transition from the “prologue” to current events. Heads clash, questions are thrown left and right, and a brand new face appears.

    Words: 2642

    AO3 link here

    previous - next - beginning


    Pearl valiantly leads the way even though the two preteens trailing behind her were groaning and complaining the whole time. Particularly the not-as-fit Steven. It didn’t help that large portions of the old structure were broken, uneven, and at some parts destroyed. Still, the vigilant pearl was rather stubborn. 

    “I knew we should’ve brought lion,” Steven groans. They left him at the house to keep guard. Plus, he didn’t seem that interested in coming, and it’s near impossible to convince the large feline to do anything he didn’t feel like doing.

    “Now now Steven, this is good for you,” Pearl reassures, “Besides, we’ll be out of here in no time! It’s much more discreet this way too.” She earlier explained that since this is a gem-made passage, they wouldn’t be spat out into the heat of battle. She wanted to keep them safe after all, especially if this battle is like any she fought all those thousands of years ago.

    “Are you sure this is the right way?” Connie huffs, getting increasingly tired from carrying around her sword, “I mean, maybe it’s changed—”

    “These caverns don’t just change,” Pearl scoffs, “they’ve just been… Damaged. Yeah, a little damage won’t stop us now will it?”

    Steven and Connie exchange glances. Silence settles as they trek on a bit longer.

    Keep reading

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