TW: eating disorder
You knew it was going to be difficult; you knew it all right but you didn't think it was going to be THAT hard.
The meals had become so unbearable that you had tried in every way to escape. With chores, with work ... whatever seemed better to you than sitting down to eat with Wanda and Natasha who were next to you and "forced" you to eat everything on that damn list.
You couldn't take it anymore and that was exactly what you would have said to Diane in today's session if she hadn't stood you up. You didn't blame her, she had a fight with her wife of hers and she had to be forgiven and you're a good person so you told her she didn't do anything and that you were fine.
Of course, that wasn't true and it isn't true now. There are two hours to lunch and you already feel on the verge of a panic attack.
You're at work and yet you can't help but think about the French toast you're going to have for lunch and the very thought of it makes you want to throw up.
The sound of the shop door opening distracts you from your thoughts. You are surprised when you see Diane walk in with her wife, Sydney.
You frown as they approach the counter.
"In case you didn't understand ... we made up." Diane smiles at Sydney and kisses her cheek.
"You are adorable," a spontaneous smile purses your lips as you set up a computer on the shelf to your right.
"After twelve years of marriage ... I learned to bear it"
You laugh as soon as you hear Sydney's words, followed immediately by a light slap on her shoulder by Diane.
"Diane told me that because of our little fight she canceled the session with you and I forced her to come and talk to you." Sydney squeezes your hand and gives you a small smile.
"Now I'll leave you alone, honey I'll wait for you at Starbucks"
Diane nods and the two kiss one last time before it's just the two of you left in the whole store.
"Are we alone?"
You nod and Diane smiles.
"How are you?"
You sigh, you motion her to follow you and after hanging the "CLOSED" sign on the door of the shop, you take her to the back, to Bob's office and sit on the two chairs in the room. Facing each other.
Diane sets her gaze on you staring intently at you.
"So ... how are you doing?"
You shrug and Diane takes a notebook and a pen out of her purse.
“I know this is not a conventional session but we are here now. This week is going to be tough y / n »Diane pauses and watches your body movements. Your shoulders are tense and you are closing in again, you have your arms folded under your breasts - a clear sign of closure on your part - and a stiff jaw.
“Y / n, you never work around lunchtime; you won't solve your eating disorder if you keep running away "
You stick your nails in your arms and Diane's words begin to flow in and out of your ears without leaving their mark. You don't want to listen to it, you hate that stupid diet and yes, you are doing what you always do, what you do best. You run away from your problems, always.
You stand up and Diane sighs, she already knows what you're going to say and she gets up too.
«This session will lead nowhere, you are not in the mood and I understand it but tomorrow come to the studio. If this diet doesn't work you already know that I will have to get you hospitalized y / n and I would really like to avoid it "
You say nothing as you see Diane walk out the door and hear the shop door open and then close.
"Fuck" you whisper running a hand through your hair.
"You can't do it right, can you?" you shake your head as some tears fall down your cheeks. You slide with your back against the wall on the floor and bring your knees to your chest by tucking your head between your legs.
You don't know how long you stay there but a little jolt shakes your body when someone strokes your shoulder. You jerk your head up - almost hitting the person in front of you - as you quickly wipe away your tears. Your neck hurts and you wonder how long you've been in that position.
"Hey" Wanda gives you a small smile as she hugs you in a hug.
Your body acts on its own and you hold the Sokoviana in your arms as you let go.
Sobs shake your body and Wanda's heart aches to see you like that.
You stay like this for a couple of minutes before you finally manage to calm down. You detach yourself from the embrace and do everything to avoid meeting the gaze of the redhead.
"What time is it?"
Your voice is hoarse with the effort and Wanda gently strokes her cheek as she replies.
“It's almost three, we got worried when you didn't come back and I came to check. Nat is out here, we came on foot "
Wanda smiles at you and that smile makes you feel slightly better. But the thought of food and the particularly lousy day you're having doesn't make you in a great mood. Not at all.
"I'll let you close the shop, then let's go back to the tower okay?"
Both her tone and her gaze do not allow for replies and you are forced to nod as you get up and prepare the shop for closing.
When you approach the door, having rigorously fixed everything, you can't help but think about the conversation that awaits you, most likely, as soon as you walk through the door of the store.
So you take a good deep breath before you hit the street.
The light forces you to close them for a few seconds. As soon as you reopen them, lock the shop and take the shutter down. For sure Bob won't set foot in the shop today and with a bit of luck you won't get a lecture for leaving earlier.
You reach out to your soul mates and give them a smile, pretend you haven't just gotten out of a panic and start walking with them at your sides.
You interlace your hands and the silence hovers over you, disturbed only by the typical noises of Manhattan.
In less than ten minutes you arrive in front of the Avengers' Tower and go inside by immediately taking the elevator.
Natasha pushes the button on the penultimate floor before turning to look at you. She gives you a smile and she gently strokes your hand.
"Wanda has prepared the French toast, it's probably cold now but we can heat it up, it'll take real-"
You smile - you try to make the most spontaneous smile you've ever done - while shaking your head slightly.
“I'm not really hungry, I think I'll go straight to sleep. I'm really tired and this day seemed endless "
Natasha just wrinkles her nose at your words if you bite the inside of your cheek. Disappointing them makes you physically ill, you had heard that it was one of the "side effects" of having at least one soul mate but you didn't believe it too much. In fact, you didn't believe it at all.
"We know you're not hungry but we can't leave you without eating, at least a sandwich ... please"
Wanda tells you as soon as you get out of the elevator, you leave a kiss on the knuckles and give you a smile.
"I make the best sandwiches in all of New York"
A small smile purses your lips and you nod. Just the thought of food makes you want to throw up but - and you can't explain why it happens - when you're with them you feel like you can do anything, even eat a fucking sandwich.
Wanda claps her hands, happy, and she immediately goes to the kitchen to prepare it for you.
Natasha grabs you by the hips and turns you towards her leaning her forehead against yours while she looks you in the eye
"You are beautiful" Natasha whispers to you a few inches from your lips and you want to protest but she kisses you. She asks for access and you grant it quickly. Natasha is like a lion locked in a cage, majestic and ready to attack.
She draws circles on your back and slides her hands over your butt pushing you even further into the kiss and making it even deeper.
Already disconnected for lack of air and Natasha smiles at you kissing the tip of your nose before taking a few steps away. She moves a lock of hair from in front of her face and a sigh from her escapes her lips.
“I just wish you would see yourself the same way Wanda and I see you; you are so beautiful moya lyubov »Natasha's voice barely cracks. For anyone other than Wanda, the widow is still holding the mask high and yet you can feel that tremble in her voice and her eyes particularly bright.
You draw her into a hug and you don't know how long to stay like that but you only break away when Wanda calls you from the kitchen.
You Give Nat a last squeeze and while she reaches the Sokoviana in the kitchen you, even if you are an unbeliever, begin to pray to whatever or entity or person there is up there as long as you send it good and you can eat that damn sandwich.
Thanks for reading! I am very sorry for the short chapter but I have started school again and I really have to go to sleep so I will post another part tomorrow. Thanks for your patience, leave a comment if you want <3
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