Help! 08/12
To: Ringo
-Have a ciggy and a night cap for Ol’ Johnny Boy, yeah?
From: Ringo
-Right on, Paul, hope you’re well. Try and get some rest. I know you miss him, Man.
To: Ringo
-Right as rain...
Paul sat his phone down on the counter, his hazel eyes flooded with tears. He and Ringo where the last Beatles left to carry on the memory of John, and today he felt the weight of that loss more than ever.
He’d given up booze and cigarettes almost fifteen years ago but he made exceptions on important days, like today, the 8th of December. Paul had already finished off his glass of scotch and he was feeling quite sleepy. He wiped his face and strolled down the hall to his office, his years of musical successes and the memories of his youth covered the walls of the space. He slumped onto the leather sofa and flipped on the reading lamp next to him, without thinking he pulled out the record Help! and sat on the turn table he’d dug up from storage.
John’s voice filled the office, for a second it was like he was back and sitting next to Paul. Paul leaned back into the sofa and listened to the words and rhythm reminiscing on the early days, he wished so badly he could go back and remind each of the others how much they meant to him, especially John.
“Oy, Pigeon-Chest, get your arse up!” A laughing John said jumping onto the end of Paul’s mattress. The weight of the older boy startled Paul out of his sleep, he sat up suddenly.
“What the hell?!?” Paul yelped. John put a hand over his mouth biting back a laugh, “Shut it would ya? Ringo and George are sleeping. I don’t wanna wake em, you know how snappy Georgie gets when he can’t have his beauty sleep. Plus Ringo don’t know I’m here”.
Paul pulled John’s hand from his face and craned his neck with a puzzled look. John laughed getting to his feet, “It’s okay that you don’t understand, let’s just keep it simple shall we? You and I have a date. So get up”.
Paul rose from the bed and pulled on the jeans he found crumpled by the nightstand, he followed John out of the hotel room and into the hallway. Something was different about the older boy but he couldn’t put his finger on it. As they reached the end of the hall John turned around with a smile, “Do you remember that night at The Cavern Club, before George and Ringo got there? Do you remember what you told me?”
Paul thought for a moment, that had only been a few months ago but it felt like a life time had passed, a sudden sinking feeling rose in his chest.
“I have feelings for you, I think you might be the love of my life”, Paul mumbled looking down at their boots.
“Always so bashful, you handsome sweet boy you! Paul I love you too! I know things don’t make a lot of since right now. But it’s important to me that you remember that, I have always loved you. Don’t get me wrong I may love women too, but you’ll always have my heart”.
Paul looked up again, this time the pair were on the roof of their recording studio, he stumbled backwards only to be caught by John’s arms. It was in that moment that Paul realized what was happening, he was dreaming.
“How can you be here right now?”, Paul asked his voice laced with sadness.
“Sometimes, we get to visit, and tonight I’m with you. I know you’re sad, babe, but I’m always with you. No matter where you are or what you’re doing your number one fan is always right there”, John whispered pressing a soft kiss to Paul’s lips.
“I don’t wanna wake up,” Paul whimpered.
“I know. I know. Let’s not think about that right now, why don’t we dance”.
Before Paul could protest, John slipped his arms around his waist and swept him up in the familiarity of their song and dance. Weather it was minutes or hours nether cared they held on until their time was up.
“I don’t have very long now, Paul. I just wanted another dance with you. Thank you for all the hello’s when you walk past the funeral home and all the silent ‘I love yous’ I hear them all. See you soon”.
And just like that Paul woke up, but he wasn’t sad anymore because he knew the love of his life still had his back. And maybe if things had been different they could have truly shown the world just how much they loved one another, but Paul knew he’d never have that answer so he guessed it was better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.
