Seven Year Old

A cool breeze calms Hail’s soul. He tries not to blink but the minute he does, he opens his eyes. He had a feeling that’s who he’d see. His past self stares at him with confused brows and an itchy scalp. Younger him looks around, not amused. Hail giggles at his less experienced self. He shakes his head at his unknowing. His younger self is slightly offended that Hail is laughing at him. I mean…

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الابلكيشن دا بيحجب الاعلانات السيئة من الظهور سواء على اليوتيوب أو غيره من المواقع.

بصراحة أنصحكم بشدة أنكم تنزلوه،وربنا يحفظنا من فتن هذا الزمن.

02/28/2021

You know that feeling where you want to explain your feelings about life to someone but, physically you can’t even make our words to explain? As if there’s a force pressing on your chest to not make you say anything? A part of me feels as if I’m not really accompiahing what I want to accomplish and personally I just feel like a failure.. I feel as if I just settled with what my path in life will be wither or not it’s good is beyond me but, I don’t really know what to do anymore. I know that eventually things get better but, what if they don’t? It’s basically an endless cycle of worrying about the future and being an adult now there still things I don’t know how to do and I’m going to be in college soon with still things to figure out. I feel as if I basically screwed my self for life thinking that maybe I will get a chance to show my artistic/ writing skills but, as I look at the industry I loved so dearly and looked up to I fear that its too closed in for someone like me to truly florish. It’s questionable but, I guess I’ll find something that will distract me from my thought.

Originally posted by assassin1513

Because You Don’t Have to do This Alone

Originally posted by minidodds

Summary: Rebecca has been trying to call Rafael for weeks since he ended things in a fight that came to be because he couldn’t talk about his feelings. When the Householder case happens, he gets drunk enough to answer, and he’s forced to let someone be there.

Pairing: Rafael Barba x OC

A/N: References to pregnancy, childhood abuse, homophobia, and the Householder case. Here is my  7,744 word AU to my own fanfiction. I meant to write a tiny thing. It’s if Rafael had answered the phone when Rebecca called in the verse below. I opened with like two paragraphs from the original to set up the break up.

When I Became a Man, I Put Childish Ways Behind Me

 - 

Back Before You Lost the One Real Thing You’ve Ever Known

 - 

Here We Are as in Olden Days

 - 

Trust Me

 - 

Abuelitas, Tantrums, and Ropa Vieja

 - 

Happy Valentine’s Raf

When Rafael said he loved Rebecca for the first time, it was late at night, and she wasn’t positive he knew she was awake. He’s said it with such sincerity, however, that she wrapped her arm tighter around him, hearing his sharp intake of breath. It would be a year they’d been together the following week, and relief washed over her to have something she knew to be true so easily confirmed. I love you, he’d repeated so easily, nuzzling into the crook of her neck as his fingers trailed up her sides. For Rafael, touch was what he used to say what he couldn’t with words. If he couldn’t tell her, he could show her, and that had worked for her. But now? As he laid over her, they moved together, and she could hear his whispered, reverent I love yous? There were no words. But in the weeks afterwards, things began to deteriorate, and she focused on the fact he was probably grappling with the shift and the fear she’d do to him what Yelina had. That said, she wasn’t going to bend her life to his trauma. He was old enough to know he needed help but too stubborn to get it. She’d been so excited to share her plans with Al. They were the two kindergarten teachers at the small school they taught at, and the last partner she’d had was standoffish and now in prison, thanks to Rafael. Al’s predecessor had been arrested for harming one of their students, and she’d met the ADA on the case when she had to testify. She was excited to have a teacher like Al to work with who was so much different.

Just get a fuckin’ room already.

Raf, he’s my coworker. We’re friends.

You know exactly what he wants from you, and you want it too. 

What are you saying? I’m a slut or something? You know you’re it for me.

A spade’s a spade.

Keep reading

All that time, I was just begging you to let me love you.

I was convinced that the longer I stayed, the louder my pleas would sound.

…And finally, you’d hear me crying out for you.

Quarentine blog day 345

Song of the lakes

Upon the open waters

The captain at the helm

One eye upon the radar screen

The other on the waves

For though it may be calm right now

Old sailors know too well

That upon the lakes, clear skies

Can go suddenly to gales.

Out here, upon the inland seas

No ship is ever safe

For here, so many vessels and the men

Have met a watery grave.

When sunlight it be scarce

From north comes the front

And frost and snow it falls

As the water chokes with ice.

As winter turns to spring

And summer comes and goes

The winds across the lakes

Calm down

And the skies clear

But always the calm

Ends way too soon

And soon the banks of fog emerge

Upon the pounding swell.

Soon the days grow short

And a chill upon the air

Signals autumn coming in.

Up and down the lakes

Comes fear and dread

When the witch of November

Comes howling in again.

Upon the five Great Lakes

All must tread with care

For all are at the mercy

Of nature

Unbound and wild still

So say a prayer

For a clear and sunlit day

And a prayer for those who work each day

To keep the waters safe

And pray for those who never more did see

Their families ever again.

now I lay me down to break
I pray the pen my rage to take
but if I die in this refrain
must be bled dry to excise pain
a fated path, that I once chose
the only way I’d know repose
then now I lay me down to break
knowing full well what all’s at stake

I step onto this battlefield
the hungry beast it waits to feed
baring fresh scars that have not healed
and yet I’m here again to bleed
it rips and tears, no time to waste
such greedy teeth and no regard
it takes its pound, no sense of grace
and once more I find myself marred

I step onto this battlefield
where I have walked a thousand times
knowing it’s here, my fate was sealed
a fee leveraged for the rhymes
but there’s no one to blame but I
always was this fate’s director
facing greedy teeth, hungry eyes
I stand before its collector

now I lay me down to break
I pray the pen my rage to take
but if I die in this refrain
must be bled dry to excise pain
a fated path, that I once chose
the only way I’d know repose
then now I lay me down to break
knowing full well my all’s at stake

I step onto this battlefield
the hungry beast death in its cry
without a weapon left to wield
perhaps this time, I came to die
fall to my knees, with my throat bared
to greedy teeth with no regard
it takes its pound, as it was dared
as was long told of in the cards

now I lay me down to break
I pray the pen my rage to take
but if I die in this refrain
must be bled dry to excise pain
so said pain will not be imposed
find fertile fields with seeded rows
then I will lay me down to break
may peace be found within my wake

(2/28/21)

i wonder how it feels to be the type of writer who names things before they start writing, because let me tell you mine are mostly unnamed bc i like to be in constant fear either that or the stupidest shit i can think of

Wassam, my name louiis 🤲🏾🕋

I started keeping multiple journals in 2019 so that when I can’t find one I’ll be able to have somewhere to still write down all my issues, problems and shit that I can’t stop overthinking about.

As a person that suffers with depression & anxiety, I honestly can say it helps.

Getting everything down on paper and realizing your not wrong for expieriencing certain emotions puts everything in perspective ❤️

I aggressively recommend!!!!📓

Invest in your mental health

There’s no denying that there are toxic fanbases out there, too many to name, and none worth using as an example. But have you ever found your passion for such a fanbase destroyed by the toxic comments and behavior of other fans?

There was a fandom I used to write for fairly frequently but the nitpicking over non-details and the way readers would tell me to “do research before you write!” despite the fact that I HAD researched something and THEY were the ones mistaken made that fandom feel insufferable to be a part of.

What makes it all the more upsetting is that the fandom that I had been a huge part of was also very niche and had very few people following it. I hate to admit that such a small number of toxic people ended up poisoning the entire fandom for me, but it’s honestly left me without any desire to return to read other fanfics, let alone write for it again.

Is it completely finished? No. There was one tiny tiny part (500 words max) that gave me so much trouble I just skipped it, but stepping away will be good.

I’ve chipped away at it a little everyday, even when my writing juices weren’t flowing. It’s going to need a ton of editing, but I feel good enough to leave it for now.

I’m so excited to be able to move on to something else for awhile! My current WIPs need some tlc.

Basically, I’ve had brain damage for most of my life. I’m mostly used to it, but as I’m getting back into writing/reading fanfic, I’m noticing how different my writing seems from other authors. Not a bad thing, but I am narrating in the same way I think. Grabbing on to minute details but ignorning/forgetting larger details, jumping topics quickly and with no warning, and a general monotone, well, tone. I’m enjoying writing it, and it is helpful that the main perspective is essentially a self insert who also has brain damage, but I want it to be enjoyable for other people to read as well. Should I just put it out there and ask for critiques? Is it something that will improve with more practice? Thank you.

Another day down

At least another to go

Times are tough

And I’m mentally tired

I’m losing this crown

I don’t want it, so

I’ve had enough

New beginnings required

I’m not your clown

This much I know

You can’t call my bluff

You’re so uninspired

From here I walk

Never to return

Chasing my dreams

The ones you never believed

I’m not part of your flock

I can’t wait to watch it burn

Because it’s not what it seems

Your hell to be perceived

I’m no longer on your clock

I’ve waited my turn

I’m done with your schemes

My revenge will be received

After weeks of holding out hope, the Hero is starting to lose hope of rescue. Not because they believe their team has forgotten about them, but because they worry what might have happened during their disappearance and subsequent kidnapping. Then, one day, the cell door opens to reveal not the leader of the villains keeping them captive, but their old teammate who betrayed them months ago. The traitorous teammate gives them a soft smile, holding up a set of keys. 

“You don’t deserve to be here. I’m getting you out while your team distracts the others outside.”

- Mod Kat @hacked_prompts on Instagram

I will find the beauty of being alone…

My brain: this writing is shit and has no flow 😡😡😡

Me, who intentionally wrote it without flow to create an uncomfy atmosphere where things always feel like they’re missing: you’re right 😰😰😰

I did the thing! My Marcus Pike drabble is done. It’s pure fluff and excuse to wax poetically about Washington DC. Honestly I’m proud of myself, I never manage to bang out something in one night like I did tonight. Nervous as hell to have others read my writing, something I’ve never done before, but it’s done!!

Thanks to everyone for the encouragement, help, and general cheerleading!

Originally posted by dornish-queen

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