getting blood tests stomorrow.
scared cause i always have issues and they sting my arm many times till they end up using special baby needles and get it form my hand.
plus this is a new lab im trying so.
wish me luck ;w;
Has anyone tried ABA? (Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous) I’m considering giving it a go if/ when I have another relapse into disordered eating. I’ve known people who have had great results with AA and NA but I dont personally know anyone who’s gone to ABA.
Judge: Um Mr. Butz, can you please read this for the court?
Larry: No I cannot. [toward the audience] Whaddup I’m Larry, I’m 24, and I never fuckin learned how to read.
phoenix is so funny to be like “it couldn’t be magic” when he straight up knows magic exists from having the magatama and a literal spirit medium as a partner like… get ya facts straight
I’m too lazy to copy paste so here’s some screenshots as an update about what I’m working on :))) ik it’s very vague but im very excited !!! always looking for people to bounce of / people to read little snippets as a write so i can Stay Sane so if you like my writing & would be down to help with that lmk
Have a quilava bean :3 I wanna doodle more since I find the lil thingy around its neck kinda funny XD
—–
aaaAA i didnt!! see this earlier and forgot to post it just now but!!!! hell yeah this is so cool!!!
Hala bi şeyleri sorgulamadan dümdüz yaşayan ve hemen kabullenen insanlar var tehlikeliler çünkü kim nereye çekilse oraya gidecekler
tava pensando na gente naquele dia vinte e oito de outubro era a gente só ali sozinhos conversando sobre tudo e você segurou minha mão e disse que queria ficar.
ficar comigo.
ficar com a gente.
foi assim que você falou e eu logo tomei um susto
no dia seguinte falamos sobre os nossos planos e o quanto tínhamos vontade de dominar esse mundo todo só pra nós dois ficar juntinho sem todos esses problemas. eu olhei pra sua boca e fiquei que nem doida pensando o quanto eu tinha sorte de poder ter aqueles lábios só pra mim
no dia dezessete de novembro você me mandou mensagem dizendo que queria conversar; eu logo fui com o coração na mão, ansiosa e com a cara de sono
tiago me falou que ia embora…
é, isso foi um soco no estômago.
eu parei por um segundo e tentei assimilar tudo. falei coisas, senti coisas, chorei rios
depois de meses nesse vai e vem de sentimentos
entendi que meu apego a palavras e frases jogadas por aí
me doía mais que sua partida.
The funeral was yesterday. Lots of people spoke, mostly from her recovery community. It was incredibly moving. During a song that I’d dedicated to her, a mockingbird apparently flew up to the window. I missed it, but several people saw it. I was told that a mockingbird isba fierce protector of it’s family. M was there yesterday. Here’s the song… Her name was Melody, she had brown eyes, I sent her on Greyhound on numerous occasions to go to rehab… https://youtu.be/38YEnQWDLvo
Everything seems so final now. No more planning to be done, life is just going to have to go on without her.
I’ll be seeking permanent custody ASAP of the baby. My job has been amazing, allowing me to take all the time I need. They paid for catering for the celebration of life we had after the funeral. They told me about a grant I can get for up to $5,000 to help pay for expenses, I applied earlier this week.
I started a GoFundMe for the funeral & burial cost of $16,000. In one week, almost $13,500 was rice, and there still money trickling in.
Everything is definitely starting to hit me how real this is. For a minimum of 18 more years, I’m a new mom. My ex is stepping up to the plate as the grandpa and has vowed to continue to help me throughout the years. The condo that she got from her grandma has now been given to him. He was in essence homeless (living in his music studio) without a car. So now both of those are resolved because I gave him her car as well. he needs a place where he can take the baby in a car to take him in.
Beş dakka bağırarak şarkı söyledim boğazım ağrıyo bu insanlar nasıl saatlerce konser verebiliyo ki ya çok garip
you can’t get away from yourself by moving from one place to another / the sun also rises
i gotta start getting rude. i shoulda been in bed over an hour ago but my friend was on the phone with her girl (that lowkey is cheating on HER girlfriend even though they’re in an open relationship) and she’s not out to her family so she didn’t wanna talk to her at home but i like almost fell asleep on the couch i was so tired good NIGHT
Pairing: Kristoph x Apollo
June 17 5:37 PM
Wright Anything Agency
“Polly? Going out somewhere?”
“Yeah. I’ll be back later.”
“Okay, see you.”
I smiled at Trucy before leaving the office, shutting the door behind me.
‘Wright Anything Agency’. To think that I’d be working here after…
I shook the memory of that day out of my head. It had been my first trial with my mentor, Kristoph Gavin, the man in charge of Gavin Law Offices. I had studied under him, taken everything he said to heart and did my best to match his cool demeanour. I did everything I could to learn from him.
But now I can’t.
It’s getting a bit late. Hopefully they’ll let me in.
I walked away from the door and down the many roads to my destination, my shadow stretching farther and growing darker as the sun slowly set behind the crowded buildings.
June 17 6:11 PM
Central Prison
Solitary Cell 13
…
“Hello, sir.”
…
“H-how have you been, sir? I see that you’re still as well looked after as alwa—”
“Apollo.”
“Y-yes, sir!”
“Cut the formalities. You’re no longer my student, right?”
“Right, sir…”
A laugh sounded from Kristoph. No one really ever hears him laugh. No one but me.
“Apollo, come closer.”
I gulped and did as instructed. I was having minor panic attacks inside of me with each step I took closer to him, closer to the bars that held him.
Come on, Apollo! You’re fine. I’m fine. I’m fine!
One more step. That’s all there was between me, the bars, and Kristoph. I hesitantly took that last step, forcing myself to stop shaking and look up at Kristoph. Tears stung my eyes as I held them back.
“Apollo, please don’t be like this. You’re fine, right? You are strong.”
“I-I-I am, sir! I mean, Kristoph sir!” I couldn’t help the stutter in my voice nor avoid calling him sir.
Kristoph smiled. “That’s better.”
He reached his hand from behind the bars and stroked my cheek, wiping away any loose tears that I failed to keep in. I relaxed slightly at his touch, his warm hands gently reassuring me that everything was alright.
But nothing is. Nothing is alright. You’re in there whilst I’m out here. This isn’t right.
The tears began to fall, unable to hold them back anymore. I wailed loud and without restraint.
“A-Apollo?!”
“Why?! Why did this happen?!”
Why did you have to kill him?
Kristoph stood there, his composure slightly put off by my outburst, and sighed. “You keep bringing this up every time we meet, each time the same as the last.”
“But look at us! We’re separated! We can’t be together like we used to!”
“I know, Apollo.”
“So why?! Why did you have to do it?!”
“…It had to be done. I’m sorry, but that’s all I can tell you.”
We did not look at each other. Both our eyes were settled on the floor between us, bars included.
These stupid bars. They’re in the way of me getting to him.
I kicked the bars in anger, punching them but not making a dent. I shook them with all my might. They didn’t move.
“Apollo! Stop this right now!” Kristoph shouted at me, but I didn’t care. He was trapped in there, all by himself, and it was making me go crazy.
“I can’t take it anymore, Kristoph! I want these gone! I want to be with you! I want to be near you!” I gave the bars one more violent shake before collapsing against them. “I want you to hold me. I can’t imagine going on without you.”
The bars felt cold on my hot skin, residue of sweat and tears coating them. I could care less about their condition. They did nothing to ease the rage and sadness I felt inside. Unlike the lion locked inside a cage, I was locked outside, forced to watch my one and only desire rot away in this cell.
Why can’t I be with you, inside that cell?
I sniffled and sobbed. There was nothing else I could do.
Two arms wrapped themselves around me. They pulled me into a tight embrace, pressing me hard against the bars and the body of my love. I looked up, seeing the familiar cool, blue eyes settle on my dark brown ones. His eyes had a smile that matched the smile on his mouth, the mouth that uttered so many sweet words in my ears and left me dazed every single time.
“I believe what you’re trying to tell me is 'I love you’.”
I smiled wildly. “Yes, I love you. I love you so much.”
Kristoph nodded and pulled me closer to him. “I love you too.”
This warmth. This scent. This is him. Even in prison he is still the same. He is still mine.
I nuzzled his chest as best I could, wanting to soak up as much of him as possible. “I don’t want to leave.”
He chuckled. “I know.”
We stayed like that for a few more minutes, the bars seemingly becoming a part of us. It was just perfect, until a buzz sounded from my phone.
“Time’s up, I suppose?”
I sighed, refusing to let go of him. “I guess so.”
“You’re not going to let go, are you?”
I shook my head. He gave a low chuckle before pulling away from me. “Come on, it’s about time you got home anyway.”
“But I—”
“Will you leave if I gave you kiss?”
I felt my face heat up. “I-I-I suppose I would…”
“Then come here.”
I looked at him, red in the face. Standing on tiptoe, I inched myself closer to his face, restricted from going any further because of the bars. He bent down slightly to meet me halfway and locked me into a kiss that I wished would last for an eternity, despite how awkward it was.
After some time had passed, we broke apart. Still not happy about having to leave, I said goodbye. As I was about to leave, Kristoph grabbed my hand.
“Apollo.”
“Yes?”
“Will you be coming back?”
I smiled. “Of course, I will!”
“Good.” Kristoph smirked. “Next time you do, I’ll prepare something special for you.”
I gulped, sweat forming on my brow. “S-something special?”
“Yes,” he began stroking one of the bars of his cell, “something very special.”
I felt the blood rush to my face and hastily pulled my hand out of his grip, walking away and out of the prison. As I walked down the many roads back to the agency, I was desperately hoping no one could see the flustered state I was in.
The next time I meet him, it’ll be so much worse….I wish I didn’t think that.
I drank tonight.
My boyfriend was out but I didn’t try to hide it when he came back. Even so… I still felt this shame when he talked to me. Like he knew, like he was disappointed.
It didn’t feel good. Sometimes I wonder if I’m with the wrong person, or if this is just the shame of addiction?
I don’t know.
I was having a fine night up until then. But after… not so much.
