#ace spectrum Tumblr posts

  • I’m lithosexual! 🥰🏳️‍🌈

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  • I’m confused about the difference between lithosexual and aegosexual 😩

    #im one of the two but i dont understand the difference #ace spectrum
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  • I had my first kiss and I’m feeling more gray/demi/asexual than ever

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  • Hey I usually try to stay positive, or at least light heartedly negative, in my posts but I wanted to talk about this.

    I just reblogged a post wherein I added my experience with asexuality and religion, but I just kinda want to add to it

    Basically what I said is that there is a cultural pressure to get married and have babies and… that’s it. Nothing more nothing less, literally. A lot of christian folk despise anyone who isn’t cishet and that doesn’t stop when it comes to asexuality.

    I am out to two queer friends. That’s it. I can’t imagine how much of a hellscape my life would be if I was fully out to the people around me. People around me see a straight christian girl, and I hate it, but it’s what keeps me safe. I honestly can’t wait for when I get the hell out of dodge.

    Some people might not get this. Like “oh, you’re ace? That’s a basically like celibacy on crack, religious people must love that.” Nope. Nopety nope nope. They do not. Refer back to “cultural pressure to get married and have babies”. (Not saying that you can’t be ace and still want children and marriage and all the such, it’s just not what I want)

    A lot of ace people are told that there is something wrong with them or they “just haven’t met the right person yet”. And you know what? It is decidedly not fun to constantly have yourself or you sexuality degraded and invalidated.

    I don’t mean to offend religious people with this (unless you’re a raging bigot, then you can go fuck yourself right off a cliff) this is my view based on personal experience, but I do at this point in my life bare a lot of resentment towards christianity for the way I was brought up and the culture I am currently living in. I am constantly surrounded by sexism, racism, homophobia and general bigotry that is largely influenced by religion.

    I know there are churches who accept queer people and that is absolutely amazing, but that doesn’t help me in my situation.

    What I have to get me through things is my one friend, the internet, and the knowledge that I can one day get away from all of this and be myself.

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  • I am a hopeless romantic. I very much want to fall in love and find a woman to spend the rest of my life with. That’s pretty common knowledge around these parts.

    What’s not so well-known is that attraction to a specific person is relatively rare for me.

    That crush I’ve been vagueblogging about is the first person I’ve come even close to being attracted to in almost four years. And even then, it’s not actual full attraction. It’s potential-for-attraction, which is the first stage for me. Real attraction only seems to come once we’re at least middling-level friends.

    Sometimes I’ve wondered if I’m demi (romantic and sexual). I can experience sexual attraction, but I’ve never had it for anyone I wasn’t romantically attracted to first. I’ve never looked at a strange woman and thought, “yep, this actual woman, and not just the abstract concept of women and specifically a woman I’m dating, is sexually attractive to me.” And sex isn’t high on my priority list, relationship-wise. If I really was attracted to someone and she turned out to be ace, I don’t think that would be an issue for me. I already explained my weird romantic attraction process.

    I’ve held off on exploring this for two big reasons:

    1. I always seem to see only demi-romantic people who can take or leave romance in general. And like I said, hopeless romantic. Yesterday I was literally singing “Ten Minutes Ago” while I sewed and imagining waltzing around with a beautiful girl. I watch Ever After and sigh at lines like “It is your mouth that has me hypnotized.” I know what line from Carmilla I want on the inside of my wedding ring someday. don’t get attracted easily, but I very much want that attraction to happen.

    2. “Gay/Lesbian” is the label that I care about the most. I am a woman who is exclusively attracted to other women. That’s the thing that makes me feel connected to our past as a community, the thing I fought to feel comfortable as, the crux of the matter for me personally. How frequently I feel attraction and what it takes for that attraction to exist never mattered as much. I don’t usually feel the need to get into that label. I’m a lesbian- the rest is trifles.

    3. What If I’m Just Picky?™

    But I do wonder sometimes. So I’m putting it out into the universe- my wondering. It’s not overly important to me, like I said, but there it is.

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  • I just changed my gender/sexuality blog’s title to “Ineffable and Un”F”able n honestly I just wanted y’all to know bc I thought of it just now and I think it’s fucking hilarious

    #queer#ace spectrum#woo#puns #im so proud of myself excuse me while i grin stupidly
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  • this is a friendly reminder that ace-spec is a term inclusive of everyone on the asexual spectrum, meaning it includes people who identify as flat out asexual as well.

    (this is an ace version of @aro-things’s post)

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  • So how does one know where on the ace spectrum they fall? I’ve always called myself demisexual but i kinda… know that’s not right? But idk where i fit? Help me

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    I tried (it didn’t work that much) to do some lockscreens with one of my fav quote of RuPaul’s song with some ace spec flags….if you have any suggestions/other flags to do, pls tell me💚🖤💜

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  • Aspecs (including questioning aspecs)! Are you doing NaNo? Want to share something about what you’re writing? =)

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  • Guy #1 - going out for two years, talked about asexuality once in a while, eventually broke up because he thought that asexuality is my choice and I can change that

    Guy #2 - going out for 5 months, talked about asexuality only when Mario Adrion came out and I was proud so much, broke up because my joy was “obtruding him with this abnormality”

    Guy #3 - going out for a year, talked frequently about asexuality, sex etc., broke up because of after a year he “finally realised I won’t sleep with him”


    Note: I don’t believe that either guy is a bad person. I just think that the society where sex is everything unables me to have a satisfying relationship without sex. 

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  • Ace week (late)

    Ace week has probably passed but I just want all asexuals to know that they are welcome on my blog. I have seen their community first hand and they are wonderful little community bound by their lack of sexual attraction.

    I want to empathize asexuals are loved here because lots of lesbians who previously identified asexual are bitter against asexuals and say it’s harder to be gay than ace. I will admit being a lesbian is definitely harder than being asexual but that doesn’t mean the struggles of asexuals aren’t valid. Asexuals struggle because they live in a world obsessed with sex when they aren’t interested in it. This can range from being looked at as weird because they don’t like sex to being bullied and at risk for corrective rape. Maybe these struggles don’t hold a candle to gays like; not being allowed to marry each other, getting fired from their jobs, being denied necessary things from society or worse, being murdered for being gay, yet that doesn’t mean the struggles of being ace are meaningless and they need support.

    I probably am somewhat biased to the ace community because I’m still wondering if I’m demisexual or not. I experience on sight attraction when I see a girl’s body and for this reason people wouldn’t say I’m demisexual. Yet, I only want to have sex with a girl once when I feel emotionally connected with her. In general, I seek deep emotional connections with people yet I find it hard to open up with people and often feel vulnerable when it do it and since sex is highly personal, maybe it’s no different from any other form of exposing myself.

    Regardless of if I identify as biromantic ace, demisexual lesbian or plain lesbian who doesn’t like hook ups, aces I love you all and have a great late ace week!

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  • Crowdfunding for a German book on Aro/Ace matters

    Hey everyone!

    Two friends of mine are writing a book on Aro/ace topics. They’ve already got a publishing company, but they need some help to cover printing costs. It’d be awesome if you could share the link around and donate if you’ve got some spare change (though this book will be in German)

    I wanted to ask this blog because I know you’ve got some German mods.

    Anyways, here’s the link

    https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/8jr40gGtwn

    Thanks so much!

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  • Asexual Expectiations vs Reality

    Music

    Expectation: Listening to something innocent like old school Taylor Swift

    Reality:Jamming out to My Darkest Days and Simon Curtis

    Beliefs

    Expectation: probably religious in some way

    Reality: Extremely Athiest

    People

    Expectation: No-one is attractive to them and never has a preference.


    Reality: Finds people attractive even if it’s rare and I can tell why people find someone attractive even if I dont. Still has a few preferences.

    #asexual #expectations vs reality #ace spectrum#aromantic
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  • Hey folks! I hope everyone had a lovely ace awareness week. I just thought I’d give an update about myself and what this week has brought to mind, as my relationship with my asexuality has changed quite a bit and I have some feelings about it. 

    For background, I started identifying as ace in addition to being gay almost 4 years ago, and at the time it was a really important part of my identity; I really felt seen by people who shared these feelings with me, and the label made me feel more comfortable with who I was and how I experience attraction. 

    However, I’ve recently entered into a relationship, and in it I have experienced sexual attraction for the first time in a really long time (or maybe ever - at least since consciously knowing what it was). This has changed a lot of what I had thought I understood about myself. I used to think I couldn’t experience attraction and couldn’t even understand it, and I also thought I was sex-repulsed; however, now that I experience attraction to my partner and we’ve had sex, I know that neither of those things are true. 

    But just because I feel attraction and like/want sex, that doesn’t mean I experience sexual attraction like most people do. It took our first kiss for me to feel something physically toward my partner, and I still only feel strongly when I’m around them in person (i.e. not when looking at a photo of them); I also think I experience sex a bit differently than they do in ways that are difficult to quantify. So if the label were important to me, I guess I’d describe myself as somewhat demi, grey, or just floating somewhere in the ace-ish universe - not wholly ace, but not wholly like your average person, either.

    All this being said, I think something important that I’d like to see being discussed a bit more during ace week (but also all the time) is the spectrum-ness of sexual attraction. Even though being on the ace spectrum is no longer something that I think of as an important part of my identity, it’s still part of my reality, and I think our discussions about sex and asexuality alike could benefit from a bit more nuance and acknowledgement that there are so many different experiences of these things. I love the definitions of identities that get circulated around and all the infographics, but I think the discussion could benefit from simply realizing that attraction is messy and complicated and weird, and the more we communicate about how we feel and perceive the world, the better off we’ll all be.

    #ace awareness week #asexual awareness week #ace spectrum#personal #just some thoughts #idk #this turned out more rambly than I wanted #but hopefully it's coherent
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  • Me, questioning my romantic and sexual orientation for 1084679th time and still having no final answer:

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    I just remembered that this is a thing that I own.

    Sadly, the record is shattered and unplayable.

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