Some pictures from the last few months. I saw these and wanted to fucking cry. I miss seeing that yellow goop that fent produces on the foil. I miss that half gram bag. I miss the xanax that took away all anxiety. I miss it all I miss it all I miss it all
they’re restless like sparrows, getting high on the marrow
they stole from their brothers’ bodies
like birds they’re flitting, dodging and spitting
on all their neighbors’ good fortune
addiction’s the price they pay forward thrice
and into the maw they fly
moths to flame, and who is to blame,
for leading them down the throat?
the journey begins with humble amends
and ends with bones and brothels
hands that were clean grow far too lean
miming a mockery of life
my dear pantomime, you ask who am i
to be casting thee stones so sharp?
no one of luck, a bird cast from the flock,
too weak for that hard living
but lucky am i to be wasting my life
instead of burning it up in spoons
soon they will learn they’ve been caught in the churn,
and envy my flightless plight.
How to say “No” Without Apologizing:
“Thank you for thinking of me, I won’t be able to make that.”
“It sounds like a great time, I just committed to laying low this weekend.”
“No, thank you.”
“I’m not up for that right now.”
“I have plans that night, and will keep you posted if anything changes.”
Something that has always been hard for me is saying, “No.”
I have been a people pleaser my whole life.
Even if I did not to do something I did it anyway.
For the fear or someone getting upset with me.
Or to avoid conflict.
Or because it is just easier to do it myself.
I have learned that in order to stay healthy, mentally and spiritually it is ok to say no sometimes.
I have focused a majority of my life on making others happy and doing what others like so when I see ways that help me make sure I stay healthy.
I like to share them with others.
One of my favorite throwback horror films. I knew I liked girls when I would get excited to see the “let’s get naked, in the graveyard” scene. Oh, random fact: I was born a few years after this film came out.
she was a drug
and he was addicted
she was chaotic
it was unhealthy and toxic
he forced himself to stop
so he gave her away
to someone he trusted
who had more self control
but he didn’t want her
because he knew she was toxic
but after he tried her once
he couldn’t stop
because she was a drug
and he was addicted
Shout-out to my dealer for always packing me a bunch of candy when I buy drugs.
We stan an honest man doing the Lord’s work.
Finally beat Bonk’s Adventure / PC Genjin /BC Kid!
One Game at a Time Comic (OC)
Chapter 3 page 19
Instead of dwelling on all the negatives—the worry, the past, the problem, the addiction—start dwelling on the greatness of our God. In Scripture, David said, “I don’t look to the mountains for help; I look to the God who made the mountains.”
I’ve mentioned before that on occasion J indulges in party drugs for nights out (or even nights in), but his first drug-love was heroin.
When he was a younger man (in his twenties at the very most) first beginning in his crime career he was still very much in the process of evolving in to the man we know him to be today, and being young and still very green to a life in crime he fell in with a bad crowd who believed they were ‘gangsters’ when in fact they were plain old junkies, hustlers, and petty thieves.
It was at this stage in life he was introduced to the needle and being somewhat suicidal on the darker days, he took up the addiction with full determination to ‘forget’ his problems and flirt with self-annihilation. This habit was interrupted several times with reasonably short jail sentences and court-ordered rehabilitation programmes until it was finally broken once and for all with his first major crime which led to him being sent to a mental institution for the first time.
Indeed his introduction to mental hospitals may have saved his life from heroin but it also provided the final stage for his complete mental metamorphosis in to who he is today. The physical metamorphosis was to come later.
As a result of his former heroin
addiction his left arm bears a handful of scars with a patch or two of dead veins
from using.
Please, Georgie, I just need… I just need to record it. That’s all. Then it’s done.
Yeah. I just need… I just need to read this episode. That’s all. Then it’s done.
Georgie, I just, I needed to do one more
Okay, I just needed to read one more episode-
Hungry, are we?
That’s not. I haven’t done anything-
And I’m going to stop once I’m done. I have work tomorrow. I will wake up for work.
I did wake up for work.
Because continuing would endanger you. But other than that, when has your discomfort ever actually stopped you walking the path of the Beholding?
I…
I… I don’t know.
The Archivist makes a pained couple of sounds, as if he’s trying to tear himself away from the statement-
It was 5AM and my eyes are still open, drinking in the words. I tried to stop, to tear myself away from the screen-
- and physically cannot
