#againthemartyr Tumblr posts

  • theircurse
    20.07.2021 - 4 monts ago

    ✧ * º • –– @againthemartyr​​ asked:  ❀ - from mister adonia

                          ⮩      【   Softer Prompts.   】

    ╰  ★  █║  ⁞    —     ˗ˏˋ        THEY’VE NEVER KNOWN AFFECTION. True affection at least. All of the hugs and kisses and cuddles they had LONG since received from their ‘ nii - chan ‘ was nothing more than a carefully crafted lie. Other than that deception, they know NO love and care. 

                       They’ve known the fairy for a while now, bonded with him through grand adventures through the city ( when they COULD at least ). Heck, it was through one of those grand adventures that they’d managed to fall flat on their face. They’ve withstood worse pain; they’ve withstood MUCH worse pain. But what surprises them was the gentle peck to their forehead.

                      ‘ ... What was that, Mister Adonia - san ? ‘ 

    #againthemartyr #╰  (✪∀<) ~ *:・゚✧  I disagree; everything you believe is a tragedy.  ❈  ASK. #╰ (✪∀<) ~ *:・゚✧ Damage done to my life; cursing loud as the chaos ! ❈ IC. #╰ (✪∀<) ~ *:・゚✧ Damage done to the heart; it’s the start of the end. ❈ UNKNOWN.
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  • more-than-a-princess
    19.07.2021 - 4 monts ago
    @againthemartyr said: Ten!

    Spread the Love!

    10. What’s a roleplay blog that always keeps you pleasantly surprised?

    Here’s two that always leave me surprised, mostly by how creative or how in-depth their headcanons and portrayals are. And bonus? They’re both OC blogs!

    @whitecrowns-blackthrones​ - I’m consistently amazed by how many muses live over on Rose’s blog, and how they all have interwoven histories in a fully fleshed-out world devoted to everything royal. And she’s always adding more, to boot! I’m astounded by the sheer amount of FCs too, if just to give me more ideas of various comics to read online. I’ve only interacted with a very small fraction of the number of muses on the roster but I hope to write with more!

    @earthssprout​ - We haven’t written much yet, but I’m so impressed by the amount of thought, headcanons and aesthetics and interactions, that Ari has been given on this blog. I’m someone who doesn’t find child muses all that easy to write, but Ari is written with such care and consideration and I love reading all of her interactions with muses from a variety of different backgrounds and fandoms. I know the mun has been busy offline but I hope when they come back we’ll write more together!

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  • hanoikari
    11.07.2021 - 4 monts ago

    ❝ being strong doesn’t mean never asking for help or admitting you’re in pain. ❞   @againthemartyr​​​ ( nier )   //   more prompts for your feels

    ❛   𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑,   𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕,   𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚝𝚑   𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚜   𝚊   𝚕𝚘𝚝   𝚘𝚏   𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜   𝚏𝚘𝚛   𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝   𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎.   ❜   kainé   says.   shifting   her   weight   to   one   hip,   she   turned   her   gaze   away,   trying   not   to   scoff   at   him   too   hard.   this   was   coming   from   a   place   of   care   (   or   something   along   the   lines   of   it   ).   she   knew   this.   but   still,   it   didn’t   stop   her   from   wishing   he’d   shut   the   hell   up.   ❛   𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚜,   𝚖𝚢   𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜   𝚐𝚘𝚝   𝚖𝚎   𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜   𝚏𝚊𝚛.   ❜

       ...   𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭   𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐬   𝐟𝐨𝐫   𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭   𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐬...   𝐨𝐫   𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫   𝐭𝐡𝐞   𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥   𝐢𝐭   𝐢𝐬   𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐦𝐚    𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝    𝐭𝐨   𝐬𝐚𝐲.

    #( 𓆸. )     ❝ 𝚆𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂.     /     answers. #againthemartyr #againthemartyr   :   nier
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  • deathleads
    07.07.2021 - 4 monts ago
    @againthemartyr​ sent: 🍏 - For something they secretly wish didn’t exist
    Spilling Secrets | accepting

              “ There are plenty of  horrible  things to wish did not exist but, that is the beauty of life, is it not? Why might I waste my precious time on this land by allowing for those fleeting thoughts to overtake me? I do not do anything in secret anymore, nor do I wish  -  If I have the desire for something to happen I will simply  grasp  it by my own wit! If I cannot do even that, then perhaps I was not meant for it at all. I will have been too weak. ” 

              “ Despite the dangers and unpleasantness that plague the world... Why would I wish for it to disappear completely? Life would be so dull without a bit of chaos to kick you in the teeth  -  right? ”

    #answered#againthemartyr #FFXIV verse tag #i already answered this for main-chrissy so - #*FIRMLY GRASP THE CHAOS* #u can respond to this if u like <3
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  • theircurse
    02.07.2021 - 5 monts ago

    ✧ * º • ––  @againthemartyr​ ( Chuuya )

               ⮩      【     Starter Call.    】

    ╰  ★  █║  ⁞    —     ˗ˏˋ         THE EXECUTIVE WAS A CONFUSING MAN; that much the child knew from the start. They were a hated child, a cursed child, a child damned from the depths of hell from their very BIRTH ! The mafia abhorred their very existence; only sought them when they needed their little weapon of mass destruction. Otherwise, they were nothing more than a THING taking up space in the dungeons.

                    BUT HIM ...

                    They didn’t get the man; didn’t understand him one bit. Executives of all people should have followed their Boss’ orders to a T; obeying that rule that condemned them as a MONSTER. But even now, the charm the man had given them discreetly hung off the bag that CAREFULLY hid that black scarf; lest it be taken away by a vengeful mafia goon. 

                    Did they trust the executive ? Well ... they CAN’T say they did. There’s a fondness lingering for certain; they wouldn’t have kept those trinkets overwise. But gifts alone didn’t buy complete trust. And that was why they just looked at him CONFUSED from behind the bars.

                    ‘ Why are you here ? ‘ 

    #// Hope this is ok ! #againthemartyr #╰ (✪∀<) ~ *:・゚✧ Damage done to my life; cursing loud as the chaos ! ❈ IC. #╰ (✪∀<) ~ *:・゚✧ Damage done to the heart; it’s the start of the end. ❈ UNKNOWN. #abuse tw #child abuse tw
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  • aaternum
    26.04.2021 - 7 monts ago
    @againthemartyr​r​ give me a ✔ for both nier and aeron. no choice
    Do I know your muse(s):  yes | no | a little | tell me about your muse  Setting: our verse | my verse | your verse | modern | alternate universe | other Pre-established relationships? yes | no | depends on the relationship Possible relationships: friends | classmate | co-worker | roommate | family, real or adopted | dating or blind date | married | friends with benefits | unrequited love | lending a hand | teacher - student | rivals | allies | partner-in-crime | enemies | protecter - guarded | business partners | spy - infiltrated | manipulator - manipulated | star-crossed | first meeting | other  I’m in the mood for: fluff | angst | horror | romance | humor | crime | hurt / comfort | action | supernatural | slice of life | crack | dark threads | light threads | any genre | multi-para | shorter para | one-line | any length | plotted threads | unplotted threads | other Feel free to: message me ooc  | message me ic | tell me your ideas | write a starter | answer one of my opens | send a meme | reblog this with your preferences - let’s find common interests!

    tomorrow ... nier ,,, u owe me starter for young protag. honestly, you’ll still have to tell me information about aeron because all i get is (redacted due to spoilers) kjndkjndsgjk. and of course i know next to NOTHING about nier! i still have to write out a xiv verse. but you know that’s difficult when i haven’t finished the gat damn game. i still want dad aeron adopting ryu where she just gets herself into trouble and always has her tall dad to bail her out. its necessary.  i’ll hopefully start playing nier soon so i can develop some sort of verse for that as well! but you know i’m always open for fluff and angst. i can already see your gremlin hands plotting darker themed threads. as far as actual ideas go, i’m not sure! its hard to think of ideas (especially for nier) because i’m not too familiar with the content. for now its just: found family trope giving me brain worms. also ily and u owe me more frog content <3 

    #againthemartyr #NO CHOICE u scream as u indeed give me a choice mkldsfmlkds #— ooc. ( ❛ issa moon)
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  • ancalagxn
    26.04.2021 - 7 monts ago
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  • aaetherius
    12.04.2021 - 7 monts ago

    @againthemartyr​ asked:

    “ tell me what you dream of. ” - from nier
    Poetry Prompts || Accepting (feel free to turn into threads)!

                                                                    ★ ☆ ✮ ✯ ―☼ ― ★ ☆ ✮ ✯

         The gentle rush of water as it fills the delicate cup serves as background noise to the otherwise silent night. It’s only company the soft tap of porcelain clicking together when the steaming mug is set upon a small saucer, and the natural whirl of the ship’s engine as it sails quietly through the night sky. At this hour, much of the crew has retired to their rooms - even those who struggle to sleep usually keep to themselves in the safety of their own walls. He’s typically the same. Having not required sleep to survive for many millennia, he often finds the act of doing so difficult, at least when he’s alone. And his usual worry when the current Supreme Primarch is away makes him all the more restless. He finds the time passes easier when he’s in the cafe making coffee where the scent of almonds and roasted beans and honey clings to the air, and feels his lungs with every breath he takes. Though the space is almost always empty at the hour, he can waste time cleaning and preparing supplies for the following day so he’ll be ready for the orders that will come as the sun begins to rise. Sometimes he rearranges the table, or shifts the chairs about - moves the flowers to different spots, and cleans out the cupboards - only to put everything back exactly how Sandalphon had it before he returns from the mission or errand he had been sent on. It’s a harmless task that occupies his mind, and keeps him busy. He’s grown tired of being left alone with his thoughts after two thousand years of having nothing but them to fill up the space he occupied when he wasn’t engaged in something dire. One grows weary of their own head after such a long time. So, it’s not terribly strange to find him making coffee in the cafe at an odd hour of the night when the one he spends most of his time with is away. It’s more unusual; however, for him to have company.

         Company, at least, that doesn’t include the flowers he occasionally strikes up conversations with or the coffee grinder he admired every time he gets the chance to use or the moon that glitters just outside of the window in the back of the cafe that allows glitter and stardust to fill the room to the point where its light alone is enough to prevent the room from falling into utter darkness. He doesn’t know the young man well, but has been told of his circumstances in passing by various other members of the crew attempting to help him return to the world of which he belongs to. And, he knows, as well, that accidental visitors to these skies aren’t the strangest things contained within them - he had fought with other worldly beings for countless years, after all, and seen the rifts that had formed as a result of their meddling. From what he’s overheard from the crew, as well, this is far from the first time they’ve encountered such an unfortunate traveler to have gotten mixed up in one of them. He harbors sympathy for the other - to be pulled away from his loved ones and everything he knows is an uneasy and dreadful feeling. And it’s easy to tell there’s constantly something on his mind, alongside his desire to return back home. So, it had only seemed right to invite him to the cafe for a cup of coffee when he had spotted the other out and about as he had been walking down the hall. At the very least, it would prevent Nier, as he’s come to learn is his name, from being left alone with the anxiety that he imagines is welling up within him for being away from where he wishes he was. 

          Softly, he sets the saucer and cup down in front of the other where he sits at one of the nearby tables before taking his own cup and sliding, gracefully despite the wings that extend from his back and seem to glow in the moonlight, into the chair across from him. The steam from the freshly brewed coffee warms his skin, and he wraps his hands around the hot cup as he waits for it to cool for just a moment. He’s always believed coffee is best enjoyed when it’s burning hot, even if it means stinging the throat and tongue just a bit. But it’s late enough, at the moment, that he lacks the same willingness to burn his throat on the drink that he would have had it been the middle of the day or first thing in the morning. So, instead, his fingers knead gently against the mug as he watches the smoke rise and then slowly dissipate - the whimsical, willowy tails traveling carelessly through the air. “I hope it is to your liking,” he begins in order to fill in the silence that prevails not that the water is no longer running. He’s always enjoyed conversing with the crew, and with Skydwellers in general, even if the chance to do so was rare. While he is often overly formally, it’s rare for him not to be able to find something to talk about or ask after. And he does his best to ensure the conversation doesn’t travel into unwanted or uncomfortable territory. He doubts the other wants to speak much of his own world, even if he does wish to learn about it, and, so, he doesn’t bring it, or the other’s current situation up in hopes it might help soothe his worries for a short time. Though, when Nier does ask him in a question instead, he’s met with a slightly tilt of Lucifer’s head - brows furrowing ever so faintly as he thinks about it.  

           “These days,” he pauses for a moment to glance down into the dark liquid of his cup, and takes a sip; savoring the bitter flavor of the coffee, and the heat it gives off. “I find that I have many dreams.” More than he’s ever had before, and more than he had ever imagined he would. The list in his journal only seems to grow with each passing day, and there’s no longer an end in sight. Yet, often, one of the dreams he had added to that list seems to come true, and he’s ever grateful to be where he is now. To have this second chance at life is a blessing, even if he feels unworthy of it, and will likely spend the rest of his existence attempting to find ways to atone for past mistakes. Death, he has since learned, isn’t the atonement he had once thought it would be. So, now, he searches for ways to make things right. Sometimes that comes in the form of doing add chores around the ship or staying up well into the morning with someone who might simply just need someone to speak to. And he can’t begin to claim he believes himself good at anything he’s attempted, but he never gives anything less than his entire core to those he meets. “Some, I imagine, might seem strange. For example, it is a dream of mine to share a cup of coffee with every member of this crew. It is also a dream of mine to one day assist Sandalphon in opening a cafe of his own, and to raise another garden with him. Just as it is also a dream of mine to read all of the books I have been given by Skydwellers on this journey, and to memorize the recipes for all of the new blends of coffee they have come up with in the time since I had first introduced it to them many centuries ago.” He smiles softly at the other, rubbing the handle of his mug. “Sometimes the most worthwhile dreams are the smaller ones we have overlooked in our desire to pursue something larger. Do you have any dreams of such a nature; smaller ones that might seem mundane to most?”  

    #againthemartyr #| ☩ Cradled within the gentle breeze ☩ (ask) | #| ☩ And once again the sky rises; sincere and melancholic  ☩ (IC) | #| ☩ A faint dusting after sunset ☩ (verse: AU - Post) | #{ Thank you for sending this! }
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  • electricea
    06.03.2021 - 8 monts ago

    @againthemartyr​ sent - ❤️ ( Hearts from Jassi - Accepting! )

    We haven’t had a chance to interact much yet, to my knowledge, but you’re still someone I have a great deal of admiration and respect for - your roster of muses seems incredibly cool and you’ve always treated me well as a mun!
    #againthemartyr #( ooc. )
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  • electricea
    25.02.2021 - 9 monts ago

    @againthemartyr​​ sent -🥇, 🌟, 📽!  ( The Positivity Meme - Not Accepting! )

    🥇 - I think you’ve done a brilliant job with your muse.

    🌟 - I love seeing you on the dash!

    📽 - I can see your muse in your portrayal, your writing is so perfect.

    Thank you! You’re someone I keep meaning to write more in depth with because I do look up to you and your writing style so so much! Thanks for the kind words! You’ve always been a really kind and gracious mun to me!
    #againthemartyr #( ooc. )
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  • duskyverdict
    22.02.2021 - 9 monts ago

    Lucien is brought back into the world again the same way he was brought into it the first time: wet, cold, sputtering, covered in that vile liquid that assaulted most of his senses, and surrounded by shapes that he had to assume were people.

    That was about where the similarities ended however, the cold grip of metal hauling him onto legs far too weak to carry any of his own weight. Something that should be alarming - would be if he had the mind to be. As things were however he was much more preoccupied with the biting cold, a nasty howling breeze cutting through the building and threatening to send him back down. He should be worried about how he doesn’t have the strength to stand on his own. 

    Allagans after all don’t just make their servants so intentionally weak. It's a waste of time and resources to nurse them back to peak condition when they could just be made and maintained like that. So truly he should be able to stand up all on his own, the biting wind shouldn’t make him nearly topple over. Something is well and truly wrong about all of this but Lucien doesn’t have it in him to care, far more preoccupied with just forcing his body to live through stubborn will alone. 

    After all his lord and lady aren’t kind enough to have let him have a singular lifetime, why on this go around should they be kind enough to want to nurse him back to health. They won’t have his interests in mind - never had them in mind anyways - so Lucien has to. 

    And so he lets himself get dragged from old storage, from the building that later on will register as being completely wrong. That such a place shouldn’t have been like that. There were so many signs that got lost because he lacked any strength. 

    When he truly comes to, when he wakes up fully from his stupor, Lucien only starts to realize that everything is deeply wrong. Where he wakes up isn’t his usual quarters, there are no fanciful clothes tossed onto his bed, a demanding request for him to get dressed and resume his usual demeaning duties. Lucien wakes up in a holding cell or a poor imitation of one. It lakes the intricate metal work of Allagan make, lacks the bright gaudy colors, he’s still clad in the sopping wet shirt and slacks that at this point feel like they’ve frozen over, and the lights are too bright and buzz in a way that starts to grate at his senses.

    Every once in a while, someone clad in black and red and extremely unimpressive armor may as well waltz their way in and they demand things from him. Demand answers, knowledge, and frankly even without the extra circumstances around this situation Lucien would still have been as fueled by irritation and spite that’d he’d not have answered them. The extra circumstances instead make it just easier for him to hold his tongue and every so often hiss at them in a language they clearly haven’t heard of.

    They keep him there for a time, more time than Lucien cares to take proper stock of, before his irritation fades away and a growing suspicion takes its place.

    He does not ask the next soldier that walks into his little cell about anything, but he does talk. He gets them chatty, pulls on the magic woven deep into his being, gets them to loosen their tongue and learns just enough. Learns that more time has passed than Lucien thought, that those worries in the back of his head about something being wrong are well founded.

    Lucien learns that what is standing between him and the freedom he’s craved for lifetime upon lifetime is separated only by these flimsy men and some doors. 

    And it sends a bolt of desperation through his entire being; thousands of old plans and daydreams of smothering and slaughtering his lord and lady for his free go unfulfilled but, but now there is a simpler way. So many more simpler ways to get free. They do not know of his magic, they don’t know how long he’s craved his own personal freedom. They do not know how far an Allagan servant would be willing to go, to be free of their legacy.

    That had been days ago.

    Days ago when Lucien pulled on the well of magic that lived within him - days since he’d torn himself open and bled viciously maring the beautiful form he was crafted with - and just as he tore himself open he tore the place that held him apart. Lucien had been running on adrenaline and pain and on the panicked mantra of ‘don’t get caught don’t get caught don’t get caught’. It’d gotten him far, farther than he would have been able to get to if he thought rationally about the whole thing as much as it deeply burned him and his pride to admit that particular detail. 

    Though his use for panic ran out when it almost sent the tiefling careening over the edge of what he soon realized were the remains of the once bustling port of Azys lla; even though the emotion kept him close and uncomfortable company while he peered down into the swirling abyss of crackling aether and the seemingly limitless sky. Kept him company as he sloppily hid his tracks to every teleporter as he desperately tried to get from this. War camp. Whatever it was on this desolate, abominable chunk of tethered floating rock.

    Kept him company right until he made it to the port proper, only somewhat worse for wear after a couple close skirmishes with escaped experiments. Then the panic and the fear pooled in his too tired, almost too drained body and it settled bone deep into him as Lucien unfortunately gazed out from his spot at port and saw. Nothing. A very startling nothing. Nothing to get off this gods forsaken and utterly ruined port, as far as the man could see. It made his skin crawl, made his tail lash in anger, drove him to dig claws into already torn open, barely healing lavender skin. 

    All that was here were the other gods damned souls trapped just like him and the soldiers he’d run from.

    That had been days ago.

    Now in the not so distant present Lucien found himself under the reluctant care of the other two souls trapped in this miserable place. A drunkard blacksmith and some scholar; the latter of them having taken a look at the blood soaked tiefling and while startled had at least shown some basic decency in trying to care for him. Now he sat across from them, listening to the scholar prattle on and on about some new project of his. Something about ‘anima’ and weapons, things that Lucien wasn’t about to admit that he couldn’t keep up with. The most he kept up with was the mention of someone who could get on and off of Azys lla’s remains, someone they were hoping to pawn him off on. 

    Though said so much more kindly and with so much sugar coating that it had done nothing but deepen Lucien’s already disappointed and cross scowl. Not that having a way out of here wasn’t ideal but when it came to him being traded between parties… There was a very clear reason as to why Lucien had been so hellbent on running the first opportunity he’d been presented with as soon as he woke up.

    The thought of being at yet another person’s mercy gave way to a flash of anger, Lucien’s tail slapping an infuriated rhythm across the metallic surface of the port’s boardwalk. It was terrible - awful really to think about how he had to keep putting his life in someone else's hands. No matter how the scholar across from him tried to soothe his nerves every once in a while with reassurance that Lucien wasn’t sure were true or not.

    The very concept of someone who is kind and reliable to strangers was unfathomable. There was nothing the younger man could say that sounded like this man- Aeron they called him, he simply didn’t sound like he could exist. Like they were dressing someone up with pleasantries, like they were trying to sell him the idea of a good man rather than talking about one.

    His tail continues to slap to its irritated beat as it has for days now, and eventually beyond all belief the sound of it is drowned out by the whir of teleportation magic. Lucien tenses, his tail coils around him to self-soothe as the man begins to register what exactly that might mean. What it means to hear a new set of footfalls across the port, to catch the presence of someone else in the very corners of his eyes. What it means to hear the chatter across from his spot on the ground, the murmuring whispers. 

    Lucien starts to dig his claws into the bandages, his old friend panic telling him that he’s recovered enough. If he needs it, Lucien can just rip himself open again and use his magic to buy him time and run. He can come up with some other plan. He has time. He has so much time to think everything over, he’s a smart man, he can figure anything out if he just-

    Dark boots entered his peripheral, the man hadn’t even realized he’d looked down at his arms when he started worrying at the bandages, started clawing at himself. Lucien forces his hands to still though his claws dig and dig and dig so deeply into himself, and he forces himself to look up at this gentle hero of a man the scholar’s been trying to sell him on.

    The smile Lucien gives him is mirthless but practiced with just a little bit of too sharp fang for charm, a facsimile of pleasantry.

    “I guess they must have given you the rundown of my situation yeah?”

    Lucien keeps his tone at that well practiced level of amusement at everything, despite the way he looked. A desperate need to have control over something while he felt blood start to bead where his claws had settled.

    He tilts his head in the direction of the scholar whose name he’d never bothered to catch and memorize. 

    “They make you sound like a generous man, mister Caderyn. Someone who might take pity on a poor stray and get them out of this hellhole.”

    But I don't trust that sort of kindness, he doesn’t say no matter how heavy those words sit on his tongue. No matter how much that sentiment burns him inside and out. He’s putting his life right in the hands of whimsical fate, every second is a snap decision. 

    Calm, stay calm, think. Just keep calm and think and you can puzzle your way out of this Lucien if he takes you. You can think your way out of this if he doesn’t, or if you have to run.

    To his credit, his smile strains only a fraction under self imposed stress.

    “Might owe you quite a bit if that’s true.”

    #there is so fucking much i am so sorry #againthemartyr#Aeron 02
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  • againthemartyr
    21.02.2021 - 9 monts ago

    “Soma are you going to open your mouth again to write about headcanons” yes, but hear me out. 

    Spoilers for the. Well. Entirety of XIV which I am just putting under a read more so Cherub doesn’t read this and I find peace of mind bc I didn’t Accidentally Spoil Everything. 

    How Aeron - and his personas - are shaped and created by grief. How loss affects the soul; consumes, warps, destroys. He has seen it with so many people, and he is also living proof of it. What once was whole is no more, and he is a shattered fragment of himself. 

    As much as he was aware of death through his journey: by his hands, people close to him... and through his tribe, as survival is something so important in the Steppes! He really didn’t experience it firsthand until Haurchefant’s death. It really didn’t hit him until it was so glaringly obvious that he could not protect effectively people important to him. That was the hammer smashing fragile glass, the way he never once questioned his faith and now he does. There was a mention somewhere on my blog that he does not see Nhaama as Hydaelyn, and this plays into it. If the Mother sent him on his journey, why does she not answer? 

    Why did she leave him in such a far away place, why does she take and take and when he prays she says nothing? It goes back to what I said about grief and how he is fueled by it; a lot of people turn to religion once this happens. Aeron/Xartsa’aga is a man who believes deeply in the Mother, and you can see this in a lot of his gestures. He never forces this on anyone, but he expects respect. But what do you do when that fails you? Who or what do you turn to? 

    It’s one of the reasons why he gives up the lance - it is a journey of revenge, of self-destruction. One that almost swallowed him up: he was prepared to kill everyone on Whitebrim and die there himself. It is averted by Vohti simply smacking some sense into him, but people close to him see the change. The gentleness and the sadness. How it sometimes turns into rage, how it bubbles up and explodes eventually. Going off from one of my previous posts about him: 

    “It is the bright and the dark side of the moon together, of how he has to keep impulses in check. Aeron is a man who has been shaped both by his faith and his grief. It is the grief that grants him the almost warped sense of justice; it had been so when he decided to strike Thordan down. It was righteous and it was for vengeance and it was his. It was theirs. The shattered fragment of a soul joining together for this moment. It is a contrast to how he presents himself most of the time, and how this changes the more you know him. It is almost catching a glimpse of something you should not see, something he keeps hidden deep within.”  

    And how this is because he has lost and that he continues to lose. People dear to him, people who he met and that died for the cause they wanted to fight for. 

    Which actually brings me to the point I wanted to write: mementos. 

    Few things shook him to his core as the fight with Emet (and then Elidibus). Few things shook him to his core as seeing Amaurot, deeply connected to these things as he is. Perhaps more than the rest of his group, he feels. Unlike everyone else, he tries to talk. Tries to reach common ground with what should be the enemy. 

    Because something deep within has also lost, and it wants to prevent it from happening again. It is important to him: to remember and to honor the dead. It plays into his journey of protection, sacrifice. The weight of it. More than anyone, he does not want to forget. It is the reason why he brings the auracite of a certain someone with him at all times. It is a promise to remember. It is something he honors, because he knows grief. 

    And it is why when he meets Elidibus, he is the only person in his group willing to listen and desperately wanting a different outcome. One can tolerate the feeling of something rendering your soul apart so many times. Loss does that to you. Death does that to you, and Aeron (and all of the shattered personalities that comprises his ‘self’) has had enough of it. 

    You can only see friends dying either because of you - or because they oppose you - so many times. You can only withstand so much needless sacrifice in your name, after all.  

    #'grief' is a constant theme around here on againthemartyr folks and half of this list suffers from it in some way or another! #son of nhaama ; hc #i forgot i had... a tag for it. i'll go fix my other posts ^q^
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  • exrhlab-archived
    20.02.2021 - 9 monts ago
    #» ooc — to be deleted ❞ #» asks — meme related ❞ #» asks — answered ❞ #!!!!!! #againthemartyr
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  • madamhatter
    19.02.2021 - 9 monts ago
    #( in which we learn about the eldest ; headcanons ) #( checkbooks inquiries and much ; answered asks ) #againthemartyr #long post tw #long post #[ for the howl..... my brain juice is dry atm so I cannot give complete Mado ones. I just wanted to give this to ya ]
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  • somegremlin
    19.02.2021 - 9 monts ago

    @againthemartyr​​ asked: Q actually gets a gift from Chuuya! It is a gaudy box, but the size of it makes it obvious that there is more to it than just a box of chocolates. And you would be correct in your assumption! Despite it being a simple milk chocolate bar, the brand on it shows how stupidly expensive it is. Along with it, there is a black scarf and a phone charm of three purple stars hanging off from a weird-looking but smiling doll.

              ↳     Valentine’s Day 2021

    「 ★ 」   ⋮     𝐀 𝐍 𝐀 𝐓 𝐇 𝐄 𝐌 𝐀 .  ⋮  ━━   They can’t say they’re NOT worried about whatever lies beneath the lid of that box. Trust wasn’t real; not in THIS PLACE. Not in THIS NIGHTMARE. In those empty hues of theirs, the executive before them was NO DIFFERENT than the man that sentenced them to this hell in the first place. 

                   What the heck was in this box though ? Well ... it’s not like they really have a choice but to open it. 

                  They’re expecting something horrible, something dangerous, or something downright unpleasant. Perhaps something to hurt them or something to be used for some stupid mafia trial. But instead ... there are things FAR different.

                  A chocolate bar; wrapped in a far more fanciful wrapping than those found at any normal candy shop. That alone comes as a SHOCK ... but there’s even more inside. A brand new scarf, a cute little charm with three purple stars, and an adorable doll.

                  This has to be a mistake.

                  ‘ What’s this for ? ‘

    #// CUTE#againthemartyr #╰ (✪∀<) ~ *:・゚✧ Damage done to my life; cursing loud as the chaos ! ✧ IC. #╰ (✪∀<) ~ *:・゚✧ In the chaos we dance as we stand on the brink. ✧ UNKNOWN.
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  • more-than-a-princess
    15.02.2021 - 9 monts ago
    @againthemartyr​ said:  💚😊💖💞💙🤩 bonus 💜

    Positivity meme (with bonus options!)

    😊 - It makes me happy to see you on my dashboard!

    🤩 - You’re one of the blogs I admire the most!

    💚 - You inspire me!

    💙 - I love your muses!

    💜 - I love you, the mun!

    💖 - You write your canon character(s) very accurately!

    💞 - I’m glad we are friends!

    This is so sweet, thank you! I’d usually try to question how much Sonia’s true to canon due to how much she loves interacting with demons as opposed to serial killers (She’s only a low-level demon herself, according to Gundham. And mostly because she hasn’t met many serial killers yet), but if you and Kaleb say she’s a good/accurate person, who am I to complain?

    I’m sorry she’ll be bothering him for quite awhile longer and you get most of my wacky late night headcanons regarding Sonia and how much she’ll either drive him batty or he’ll just have to agree with whatever fictional demonic lore she believes is real. Like I said, aren’t you glad she only asked about demons’ interest in chocolate and not other things?

    Word to the wise, mutuals: if your muse is a supernatural being or otherwise not a normal human, Sonia will be very intrigued and interested in meeting them. You know, more than she is regarding making new friends in general. 

    I love seeing you on my dashboard, too! Your posts on all of your blogs are always so fun to read. If you ever want to plot something, please don’t hesitate to reach out on discord!

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  • maskedmuses
    15.02.2021 - 9 monts ago
    Protective Sentence Starters || Still accepting
    @againthemartyr​​ asked: “There is no way you are going without me. I’m coming with you.” Ysayle! From Aeron

    Icy eyes flashed back towards the man, her lips forming a pout at the insistence. She had wanted to go off into the Hinterlands, to visit the dragons that both loved and loathed her in different aspects. It was a dangerous mission, particularly if those heretics that had defected when she had appeared to die were to find her, the results could be disastrous, one of many reasons she had stayed within the walls of Ishgard for so long.

    But her soul yearned to be free, not trapped behind stone. So she was already on her way, cowl pulled over silver hair, ready to slip away from the city in the blanket of night. But Aeron already knew her well, had seen the signs that she was to vanish.

    “You have your own tasks to take care of, don’t you?” Ysayle spoke, her lips tugging into a minute smile, barely registerable by any who did not know her. “I should not keep you from your purpose, and traversing with me will only delay you in your duties that the Mother has given you.”

    There was a pause before she shook her head, a chuckle emerging as she turned back away, facing the outside snowlands. “But I could never stop you, could I?” A rhetorical question she let hang in the air before taking a step, her boot crunching against the ice.

    “Come now, it is a long journey to the first campsite.”

    #||Always Here Even When Not|Queue|| #asks#againthemartyr#||Diamond Dust|Ysayle|| #||Memes And Masks|Dash Game||
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  • maskedmuses
    12.02.2021 - 9 monts ago
    send my muse “will you be my valentine?” to see their reaction ! || Still accepting
    @againthemartyr​​ asked:  “will you be my valentine?” to ysayle! from aeron

    In recent years, the tradition of Saint Valentione had breached the walls of Ishgard, bringing people together in celebration of uniting with heart and hearth, warming each other in embraces and adoration. It was something that Ysayle had distanced herself from for the most part, the famed Iceheart to not allow her soul to thaw from the flames of passion as many others would. Yet, she found herself upon the counsel that Aymeric had gifted her seat, and it came with many a price.

    Including decorating the city and preparing chocolates for the occasion.

    When Aeron had encroached upon her, Ysayle had finished most of her tasks, readying herself to seek out the man who had beat her to the punch. A small box tucked under her arm, her gaze flickered about to ensure they were mostly alone—as alone as she could be with the prying eyes of citizens of Ishgard—before she began to speak.

    Except, he had done so precisely at the same time.

    Her lips closed, the awkwardness easily passed over as she offered a demure beam towards him, allowing him to get his message across. Halone knew that if she didn’t, he would never speak his piece, trying to ensure she had her turn, too kind of a man that she always feared would be taken advantage of. Although, with such an utterance that did pass his lips, her voice halted in her throat, all inquiries put to rest for the moment.

    Now he placed the opportunity to string him along right in her fingers; a choice many would not recommend him to place in her care.

    It was that very care that made her smile though, pulling out the small box and offering it to him. “Only if you accept this in turn.” Something she had crafted especially for him, a simple square that harbored the perfect circular chocolates within. “I made these different than the others they will be passing out for the city, these were from a recipe from my childhood.” A small strike of confidence brushed over her features. “I doubt you will ever find any like them.”

    Taking a step closer to hand him the gift, flurries began to drift down, landing upon the crimson paper that coated the box. Her gaze turned skyward briefly before resuming upon his gaze, a small shake of her head. “You should get somewhere warm. There is no telling what might happen if you caught a cold after asking to be Iceheart’s valentine. What rumors would run about, I’m sure.”

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  • more-than-a-princess
    12.02.2021 - 9 monts ago

    “I’ve never given Valentine’s Day chocolate to someone not human before! This is truly a blessing! Though I wonder how much ghosts, demons, creatures, and the undead enjoy confectionery. Are there flavors that may appeal to them that humans detest? I do not wish to upset anyone with a gift.”

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  • more-than-a-princess
    12.02.2021 - 9 monts ago
    @againthemartyr​ said:  ✿, ♡!

    Interactions meme

    I love writing, plotting, and seeing you on my dash too! I know your muse inspiration tends to ebb and flow, and that’s just fine by me. Let me know if you want to throw a muse at me and maybe we can work out a verse and threads!

    That said, what kinds of chocolate do demons like? Do demons even like and eat chocolate? I’m asking for a friend. She’s already asked about how ghosts have sex, do you want me to subject the dash to her inquiries about if demons eat chocolate too?

    At least Sonia’s asking the important questions here.

    #more-than-a-princess answered#more-than-a-princess musings#againthemartyr#(interactions meme) #(Sonia is good about asking questions. Perhaps a little *too* good about asking questions)
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