i miss this.
i miss this.
i ate a LOT today but i’m going to fast for 3 days now so im trying not to stress so much over it. I am very, very full though.
I went to go have a low cal yogurt and pour the liquid stuff down the drain and accidentally poured half the yogurt out… think it might be a sign
Less calories ig
I’m very sorry guys, today I binged on about 800 calories, my total today was around 2000. I feel very bad but I promise I will be back on track tomorrow. I went for lots of walks today so hopefully there is not too much damage. Sorry again :(
Anyone else struggle with triggering and thoughtless parents?
My mom has been dieting my whole life and she keeps commenting on how much I eat. “Are you hungry already?” and “All you ever do is eat” are standard comments at my mom’s house.
I want to break fee of this stereotype she has put me in... to her I’m still the child with the biggest sweet tooth the world has ever seen. She judges me for eating but at the same time she pushes me to eat more.
When you order a scale on amazon does it come in the amazon box or the scales brands box
Pleaseee comment if you know!!!! <33
last night i almost binged but i basically just fell asleep before i could do it so THANK GOD. my friend is coming down tonight !!!! i’m really anxious but i’m also excited so hopefully things aren’t too awkward for too long. i didn’t get to weigh myself yesterday because i woke up and immediately had to go into town with my mom and we were running errands alllllll day :/ my total cals yesterday rounded up to 560 tho so at least i have that
Tumblr is the only place I feel safe with all of my fucked up problems.
Anyways I just ate my first meal of the day-
Skinless, Boneless, Plain Chicken Breast= 270- 300 calories
I think I am going to eat some frozen grapes in a bit then fast for 30 hrs since I have to go to the club with friends tomorrow night and eat with them.
Y’ALL I AM TELLING YOU EAT FROZEN GRAPES IF YOU WANT A DESSERT OR JUST A LOW CAL MEAL IT IS LITERALLY MY STAPLE FOOD AND TASTES SO DELICIOUS!
the way i already view myself better when im starving
SW: 123.4lbs (21.2 BMI)
UGW: 95lbs (16 BMI)
so, I haven't acted on my ed in a year now (moved across country, almost died, got diagnosed etc etc too much going on to care about anything) but I'm done feeling shit. I want to feel that spark of purpose again. and I know I have a rose coloured view on those months when it was first starting, but just the excitement at the idea is worth chasing now. I'm going to die without it anyway, I might as well feel something first.
so here's me marking a new start. and this time I'm going to get skinny as hell :)
calories literally aren’t real i could go and get a bowl of cerrreal rn and who tf would stop me
…ana would stop me
ED Relapse Day 8
Sorry! I keep forgetting to do it. This is the log for the previous day.
CW: 49.3kg Kcal Limit: 600 Kcal Intake: 806 Kcal Lost: 300? Total: 506
Breakfast: Cinnamon pancakes - 450 kcal Lunch: Nigerian fried rice - 333 kcal Dinner: 1/2 cup strawberries - 23 kcal
I don’t even want to look at the scale right now. I’ve been bad my dudes. Had 1200+ again yesterday. Back to 524cal today.
I have a week long custom diet if y’all are needing some accountability or motivation you can join me. My goal is to be 108lbs at the end. Last time I weighed myself I was 111lbs so -3lbs.
New plan until Friday 30th July:
- Drink 2L+ water everyday
- 30 min morning walk
- Whole day no food
- Low cal snacks for when feeling dizzy or sick
- 30 min walk in the evening
- Dinner <\= 500cal I usually sim for 350cal
- Allow (150cal) for snacks
650(in) 240(out) = 410 calories/day
i can’t do this anymore i’m so close to relapsing self harming and my body looks so ugly and i ate today everything is bad i just want it all to stop
green apple (78)
honey rooibos tea (5)
homemade pasta (~500)
Me and my bestie doing a 72 hour fast rn ✌🏻😙
I feel like a fraud because I can’t restrict as low as others. Maybe I’m not even sick... I might just be on a diet? My ugw isn’t even that low. Just because some therapist said I had an eating disorder 4 years ago doesn’t mean I’m sick right now. I’m just careful about what food I put in my body.
But then again I’m active on this side of tumblr... I might be pretty sick after all.
This is kinda like a random mini rant bc I have nowhere else to do it. It makes me so mad that the girls he’s attracted to are always smiling and posing. They look happy, they look confident, and they don’t mind posting it. I’m quite the opposite. I don’t know if he realizes that he’s attracted to unproblematic beauty queens with no mental illness, but I do and it’s killing me. This is why I don’t live for boys. My body is art. It’s mine to express what I would like to with it. Maybe one day I can find somebody who sees me as art as well.