#anderperry week Tumblr posts

  • sexyeloise
    30.11.2021 - 2 days ago

    i'm going to be honest i physically can't imagine anderperry as enemies to lovers

    #dead poets society #dead poets headcanons #dead poets honor #anderperry#neil perry#deadpoetssociety#dps headcanons#todd anderson#dead poets #dead poets society memes #anderperry week #neil and todd
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  • sexyeloise
    28.11.2021 - 4 days ago

    meeks bought neil and todd matching sweaters for christmas 😰😰😰😰😰😰😰

    #dps hcs #dead poets society #dead poets headcanons #dead poets honor #neil perry#anderperry#deadpoetssociety#todd anderson#dps headcanons #dead poets society memes #dead poets #todd and neil #neil and todd #neil perry my beloved #anderperry week #neil perry icons #stephen meeks
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  • a-cowboy-needs-a-hat
    17.11.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    a bittersweet one 🙁

    #ive seen a few november dates thrown out and my personal hc is nov 10th but i dont think theres a canon date so this could probably work #for november or december #whatever you do DONT think about the extra layer of fucking horrible his 18th/19th birthday would be 🙃🙃🙃 #and probably all to follow . #he strikes me as the kind of guy that would never want to celebrate it ever but into his late teens he'd just started to genuinely not care #**well no he'd just be better at acting like he doesnt care :( still being a kid and hitting what should be Important Age Milestones im #sure it'd still hurt #but then neil gave him hope his birthdays could be fun only for that to get. fucking demolished a few weeks later #sorry anyway #lots of fics where their first kiss is after thee desk set scene #may have to write one myself #how's there never been one where they hook up though .................... #gonna stop typing now. #todd anderson#uhhh#neil perry#anderperry #dead poets society #cowboy posts#character death #in tags idk
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  • a-cowboy-needs-a-hat
    16.11.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    this little hc gets a post of it's own bc i am in Love w it. going off this post and the addition from @aedan-mills thank u bestie its so cute

    tag list besties :) @infinite-moths @sapphicnoel @weltonsworst @nothing-gonna-wake-me-now ask to be added or removed !!

    also the woman & daughter get names now!!!! their names are joanna and janie respectively :)

    neil, todd & joanna have their mornings to themselves for stuff like work or classes/studying or. whatever else adults do

    whenever neil & joanna both have rehearsal (so most of the time), him and todd drive/walk over so todd can stay to watch janie and the two of them commute together. sometimes on days neil doesn't have rehearsal, he'll still take todd over so he can catch up with his friend for a few minutes, but usually can't stay bc he keeps himself busy picking up a shift at the diner or studying. on the rare occasion he DOES stick around, janie doesnt come out of her shell all evening. she's like four and this charismatic nineteen year old guy is terrifying, no matter how friendly he is

    she'll grab todds or her moms hand and hide behind them around him. they all find it very cute. at first neil worries it's a reflection on him and that he's bad with kids but joanna reassures him she's like that with a lot of ppl. todd & janie 🤝 super shy as kids. ngl todd still kinda is

    the show is getting closer to opening and the rehearsals are running later & one night neil and joanna are still chatting while she's unlocking the door, but once they step inside, they fall silent

    todd's passed out sitting on the couch and he does Not look comfortable, but one arm is loosely across janie, who's laying on his lap

    they both softly go awwh and neil asks joanna if she has a camera, half joking, but she says yeah and finds it

    the picture goes on the fridge and at first todd & janie hate it, but neil & joanna love it and it grows on them, too<3

    joanna & neil let them sleep and go to the kitchen to quietly keep talking and make a dinner for the four of them

    todd is very disoriented when neil gently wakes him up. where am i what time is it who are u etc

    eventually him and janie do wake up enough to go to the table. they get gently teased for a minute but then they all start talking about their days

    janie is very proud of a drawing she made and neil compliments it and says it should go on the fridge :) (it does)

    maybe that night or maybe on another, when the show is coming up fast, joanna tells todd they'll be back later so please put janie to bed please, and he's been getting overwhelmed by school lately so he brings assignments to work on whenever janie is preoccupied, but he falls asleep/has gotten Super tired by the time they do get back and neil is too so joanna just lets them stay the night. might become a planned thing that happens every once in a while

    ok this has mostly just turned into me building off that hc in general. so. one last thing. at some point janie def asks todd if his roommate neil has a girlfriend or if he (todd) will ever get one, and he laughs it off, says smth vague about how they're happy with each other. when she gets a bit older, maybe once he's stopped babysitting her but they still come over for dinner sometimes, todd & neil are talking about getting a more permanent place together in a different city after college/soon she goes. ah. theyre roommates (romantic)

    #literally just remembered my f!todds name is joan. thats. thats not important rn #NO WAIT its jean. i know my characters #no thoughts head empty only that i like j names #dont ask me anything else about joanna or janie or what happens when the show itself opens i havent thought that far ahead #idk enough about the adult/theater world . #can u tell #OH ok one last thing im too lazy to write into this post somehow. idk when rehearsals of adult theater shows would actually be or how many #weeks/months they'd go for before the show itself but considering they happen during the day maybe at least once janie starts in school her #mom is able to drop her off and todd picks her up and they hang out for a few hours working on their respective homework :-) #alright now im done #i hope this was at least somewhat in character #todd anderson#neil perry #dead poets society #anderperry#dps#dps headcanons#cowboy posts#jbs words#long post#hhwwasldhakjs
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  • sexyeloise
    16.11.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    our founding fathers

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  • sexyeloise
    16.11.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    i feel like canonically neil would have a fat ass

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  • a-cowboy-needs-a-hat
    07.11.2021 - 3 weeks ago
    is it too late to post messy pre-slash anderperry hurt/comfort n say its for anderperry week. its called it's the small things <3

    todd has a headache. todd has a headache, and its fucking killing him.

    he knows he needs to study but he cant focus on anything, can't even fall asleep. hes laying on his bed above the covers and his arm is thrown over his eyes because there's no curtains on their windows and the sun hasn't set yet so its right in his face. (well, not really. there's a shadow over his face, mostly, but still. the room is too bright and it makes him mad that there's nothing he can do about it.)

    and neil.

    neil's sitting against his bed, reading a book for class. he's silent, because they'd been bickering earlier until todd broke and told him the reason he'd been so irritated all day was because he had a splitting headache so would you stop shouting at me please. neil told him to lay down and todd told him to shut up. i can go then, i should be studying anyway- neil snapped, and todd said wait.

    he'd sat down on his bed and fought back tears because he was upset - upset with neil and upset with his headache but not really upset with neil, or anyone else, really, anyone but himself. 'm sorry i snapped at you. can you - he trailed off. neil had been at his desk, paused from grabbing his books, and he walked over to sit next to todd.

    what?

    no, nothing. it's stupid.

    neil pressed their shoulders together. he was silent for a moment.

    im sorry, too. im sorry you have a headache and im sorry i shouted at you. and whatever it is, im sure it's not stupid.

    can you just - todd's voice was quiet. his face is burned and he rubbed his nose. can you just stay here? his head was pounding. (dont ask why dont ask why dont ask why.)

    neil looked at him and todd looked at the floor. another moment passed before he responded. sure. (thank god thank god he didnt ask why.) is it alright if i read?

    yeah. yeah, of course.

    and that's how he'd ended up sitting on the floor, back against todd's bed.

    he's staring at his book and they're both quiet because they'd been bickering, and it's still kind of tense. todd's head is pounding and now neil's is, too, and he can't focus on any of the words because his mind is too busy wondering why why why why why.

    he hears todd sniffle.

    he sets his book aside and twists his body, rests his chin on the edge of the bed. todd. he says.

    todd doesn't respond. his chest is shaking and there's an arm thrown over his face.

    todd. he says again.

    this time, todd moves his arm and turns to face neil. hm.

    you're just gonna make it worse. neil whispers.

    what?

    not - not crying. holding it in. the pressure- it'll make your headache worse.

    every fiber of his being is telling todd, look away. turn your back. ignore him and go to sleep and maybe this humiliation will wash away. but his throat aches, and the way neil's staring at him -- he can't. i don't even - i don't even know why im - why im crying. todd swears and his voice breaks and he tries to cover his face, but neil reaches it first.

    the back of his hand presses to todd's cheek and it shocks him. he he prays neil will assume it's just burning from the humiliation. you're stressed. aren't you? welton does that. todd swears he stops breathing when neil moves his hand so it's holding his face, instead.

    yeah. he manages. yeah, stressed. hot tears streak down his face and he squeezes his eyes shut. he knows why he's crying now, knows it's because he's overwhelmed -- overwhelmed by neil, neil and how close he is, neil and his warm hand on his face, thumb gently rubbing circles on his cheek, so tender and for what --

    neil. he whispers. neil hums. neil. can you - his voice shakes. he sniffles again and opens his eyes and neil's looking at him, softly.

    hm?

    can you get me some water? please.

    neil takes his hand back and todd immediately misses his touch. yeah. of course. his voice is soft and low and when he stands todd does bury his face in his hands, draws his knees to his chest, bites his palm. of course, of course, of course echoes in his mind.

    the door clicks shut and he lets himself cry. neil was right, his headache had only been getting worse. a massive part of him is being consumed by and overwhelming why? whats wrong with me why am i reacting like this what am i even reacting to why am i even crying why did i ask him to stay -- and he barely hears the door click again.

    he sits up when he hears footsteps approaching, and neil sits down next to him, handing him a glass. thanks, he says.

    neil's watching him, and todd wishes he'd do something else. pull him into a hug or put his hand on his shoulder, ask are you okay? or did the water help? do you need anything else? or maybe put his hand on his face again. but instead he just sits there. maybe he's waiting for todd to make the next move. it's out of character. maybe he thinks he did something wrong.

    after a few minutes, todd's breathing steadily again.

    neil silently offers to take the glass, which todd accepts, handing it over and watching as neil leaves his side to set it on his desk.

    well. he starts, quietly, and todd aches, again, for him to do something more. lean over him when he lies down, press the back of his hand to his face and mumble something about how a kiss makes everything better before kissing his forehead, like a mother, or maybe his mouth, softly, like a lover.

    but he doesn't do any of that. instead, he says, well. you should try and sleep.

    todd nods and, after a moment of watching neil watching him, he lies back down. he closes his eyes and listens as neil walks over and sits down beside him again. there's no way he'll be falling asleep anytime soon, with the sun in his eyes but mostly on neil, so he throws an arm over his head.

    #cannot decide whether i love this or hate it. take it out of my hands #dont say anything mean abt it tho i'll cry #ok tags#anderperry week #anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry#todd anderson#neil perry #dead poets society #dps#dps fanfiction#dps headcanons#jbs words#cowboy posts
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  • cupiiid
    06.11.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    anderperry week day seven: fairytale au

    hahahaha so...... hey. ummm, this was supposed to be up weeks ago but then i got really busy so it got delayed. i didn’t forget though!! it’s now finally ready to post :)) this one is very dialogue heavy because it can be <33 hope you all enjoy and so sorry for the delay!!!

    summary: anderperry tangled au

    ***

    Todd stood behind a corner of the tower and stared at the stranger, at his angular face, bouncy brown hair and bony body while clutching the only thing he could grab before darting out of sight; a frying pan. The man seemed to be admiring a large, shiny thing in his hands that looked almost like a bracelet but was way too massive for his wrist. He wondered what his mother would think, if he knew this boy was in the castle. Todd would be locked up for sure, maybe even with chains. But still, he wanted to prove himself to her, he wanted to show her he wasn’t a little boy anymore and that he could, in fact, protect himself. Maybe then she’d let him out of this tower.

    And, with that thought egging him on, the minute the man’s back was turned, he swung.

    Having this much hair -while being a nuisance- could also be handy, it seemed. He tied the unconscious guy up swiftly in a chair, wrapping his hair around him tightly, no way was he going to get out, not on Todd’s watch. The man -no, boy, he saw that now- was pretty. He immediately berated himself for thinking that, mouth twisting up into a frown. 

    His mother had always told him people were dangerous,  they were out to get him, to steal his hair, knowing how much it was worth. They’d sheer him like a sheep she’d said. But now, as Todd looked at the boy, he looked… Well, he looked normal just like Todd. Peaceful almost. He shook himself out of those thoughts and they dissipated just as quick as they’d come, he let hard determination fill him once again. He wasn’t going to let this opportunity go. He had to show his mother he was capable.

    His pet chameleon, Cameron was unimpressed with this idea of this boy, this stranger. He sat on the man’s shoulder, displeased, and hit him a few times with his tail before jabbing his tongue in the man’s ear as Todd hid up on one of the rafters out of sight.

    The boy jolted awake and scanned the room fearfully. Todd watched him with keen eyes. He almost let himself feel bad for the boy before catching himself once again. Get a grip, Anderson! Who knew what this man was hiding? Mother always said to never trust strangers. The guy struggled against Todd’s hair before realising what it was. He saw his gaze travel up his hair until his eyes found Todd. He hoped the shadows covered him like he thought they did. He only gripped his frying pan tighter. “Is this… hair?” 

    “Struggling- struggling is pointless.” He said, mustering up his courage.

    “Huh?” He questioned.  Todd leapt down the rafter with ease before padding on the floor in front of the man, still in semi darkness. Fear swirled around in his gut but he wouldn’t let it control him. He’s lived so much of his life being placid. His bones were begging to do something. Something reckless or dangerous or anything. He wanted something. Sick thrill shot up his spine, if only his mother knew. 

    “I know why you’re here and I’m not… afraid of you.” That was a lie. But maybe if it sounded convincing, he would be able to trick his brain into believing it.

    “What?” Todd stepped out into the ray of sunlight and watched as the boy’s mouth fell open, taking him in. Another feeling shot up his spine. This time, he wasn’t so sure it was thrill.

    “Who are you and how did you find me?” Todd demanded, frying pan ready to swing at him.

    “Aha…” He dragged out staring at Todd’s eyes intently.

    “Who are you and how did you find me?” He commanded again. The man cleared his throat. 

    “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. But may I just say, hi.” The man adorned a charming grin. “How are you doing? The name’s Neil Perry.” Todd scoffed and rolled his eyes. He didn’t have time for this.

    “Who else knows about my location, Neil Perry?” 

    “Alright Blondie-” Todd waved the frying pan close to Neil’s face in warning. It didn’t seem to be scaring him. That only made the rage in Todd boil hotter.

    “Todd.” He corrected.

    “Toddrick. Here’s the deal, I was in a situation, gallivanting through the forest, then I came across your tower and…” Realising something, he looked around himself panickedly. “Oh no- Oh no, where is my satchel?” Todd smirked and crossed his arms.

     “I’ve hidden it where you’ll never find it.” Neil looked around before his eyes landed on a yellow pot. Shit. 

    “It’s in there, isn’t it?” He deadpanned. So, naturally, Todd didn’t have any other choice but to hit him in the face with his frying pan. 

    A deafening clunk echoed around the tower.

    Todd re-hid the satchel and Cameron woke the man up by sticking his tongue in his ear again. Neil twitched and shook Cameron off wildly. Cameron flew off him and crawled up Todd, coming to rest on his shoulder, a nice weight. “Ugh! Would you stop that?”

    “Now it’s hidden where you’ll never find it.” He began circling Neil menacingly, holding up his frying pan. “So… What do you want with my hair? To cut it?” He snarled.

    “What? No!” Neil said indignantly.

    “To sell it?”

    “No. Listen, the only thing I want to do with your hair is get out of it.” He looked down at himself. “Literally.” Todd was confused.

    “Y- wait. You don’t want my hair?” He asked before dropping his arm back at his side. If Neil didn’t want his hair, what did he want? Had his mother lied to him?

    “No…? I was being chased, I saw a tower and so I climbed it. Now we’re here.” Todd eyed him cautiously.

    “So you’re telling the truth?” He questioned.

    “Yes.” Neil breathed earnestly. 

    “Hmm…” Todd hummed. Cameron poked out from behind his hair and travelled down his outstretched arm to Neil before looking up and down him sceptically, trying to figure him out. Cameron turned back to him and they held a silent conversation he was sure was freaking Neil out. Cameron was telling him that this was a terrible idea and if his mother found out, he’d be dead, that it wasn’t worth it. Todd diagreed. He ached for adventure, to leave this tower even if it killed him. Nothing could change his mind. “Okay Neil Perry, I’m prepared to offer you a deal.” 

    “What deal?”

    “Look here.” He stood up onto the mantle and pulled back the curtains, revealing a detailed painting of the lights that flowed through the night sky each year on his birthday. Many of his paintings had been inspired by those lights and the way they made him feel. He’s been longing to see them since he was a little child. It was a deep craving that took over his entire body and mind which made it hard to think sometimes. Forget his mother and Cameron. He had to see the lights. “Do you know what these are?” He gestured to the lights.

    “The lanterns they do every year for the prince?” Neil asked.

    “So that’s what they are.” He breathed, looking at the painting, running his finger over some cracked paint. “I knew they weren’t stars.” He told Cameron, still sitting unimpressed at his shoulder. “Well- tomorrow evening, they will light the sky and you will take me to them and bring me home safely and then, and only then, will I give you back your precious satchel. That is my deal.”

    “Yeah… no can do.” Neil said flatly. Todd felt his whole body deflate. “Unfortunately the kingdom and I aren’t exactly…. On the best of terms right now so I can’t take you anywhere.” In his defence, Neil had at least some decency to look slightly upset. Todd looked at Cameron who made a punching gesture with his hands, seemingly changed his mind about the whole plan. No, this was his moment. Nothing is going to stop him. He boiled over. Todd hopped down to the floor angrily and pulled Neil close by his own hair that tied him up, bringing them closer.

    “Something brought you here, Neil Perry, so I have made the decision to trust you but trust me when I tell you this.” He yanked Neil closer so they were a hair's width apart. Neil’s mouth fell open. “You can tear this tower apart brick by brick, but without my help, you will never find your precious satchel.” Neil cleared his throat after a moment, eyes leaving Todd’s lips. Neil was looking at his lips? He felt dizzy.

    “Let’s get this straight, I take you to see the lanterns and you’ll give me back my satchel?” He asked Todd.

    “That’s right. And when I promise something, I never ever break that promise. Ever.” He said intensely, looking into Neil’s eyes. Neil sighed.

    “Okay. You give me no choice.” Todd stared at him expectantly for a moment. He pulled a smirk at Todd. The butterflies in his stomach were killed with his sheer fury and will power to see the lights. Neil had to take him, he just had to. He wasn’t giving this up. At Todd’s unimpressed face, he finally muttered “This is kind of an off day for me. This doesn’t usually happen.” 

    “So do we have a deal or what?” He pulled Neil even closer, feeling his breath fan across on his lips. Neil began to fluster, his cool, charming, collected demeanor slipping away to reveal the real boy underneath. His voice came out breathless when he spoke.

    “You’ve got yourself a deal, Todd.”

    ***

    (a/n- i hope you enjoyed!!! this is the last of the official anderperry week stuff but i still have part two of genderbent to do which is where i’ll really end it. hopefully it won’t take me as long to post that one lmao)

    @aedan-mills @nik-knacks @maisietheweltoncow

    #anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry week day seven #anderperry#dps#dps fanfic #so sorry about the delay!!
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  • mrperryhatepage
    04.11.2021 - 4 weeks ago

    imagine being in a show with neil perry <333

    #cries in theater kid #this is literally the dream #oh to be ginny danbury #<333 #sorry i disappeared for like a week #halloweekend was crazy busy #i hope y'all had a happy halloween <333 #i'm glad to be back #dead poets society #neil perry#anderperry#todd anderson#dps#charlie dalton#dead poets#anderperry supremacy #dead poets headcanons #dead poets society headcanon
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  • a-cowboy-needs-a-hat
    29.10.2021 - 1 mont ago

    lots of post anderperry week yearning on the dash 2day

    #not complaining #gib me more #softness#AND sadness #give it to me all #if u want... #i shall contribute too. later #anderperry#anderperry week#cowboy posts
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  • a-cowboy-needs-a-hat
    29.10.2021 - 1 mont ago

    (softly) thats me.....

    #yes dps is a small fandom yes i still go :0 any time my post is the top/cover photo for a tag<3 #rip my 3 abandoned anderperry week works 😔 #life has been happening man #cowboy posts
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  • poetofthedyingstars
    26.10.2021 - 1 mont ago

    all of my anderperry week posts:

    day 1: “just like the usual”

    day 2: “passing... chaos?”

    day 3: “surprise! surprise!”

    day 4: “the final girls' kiss!”

    day 5: “the lover's quarrel and one bed”

    day 6: “like the usual”

    day 7: “the one who doesn't speak”

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  • poetofthedyingstars
    26.10.2021 - 1 mont ago

    anderberry last day 😔

    not proofread and not very great tbh... bUT what da heck it's been fun so. enjoy !!

    taglist: @aedan-mills @crispin-kreme @theluminoussunflower

    the six swans au,,,,  bruvas mwahhaha u all know that one story? okay quick recap. basically about this; when that one king married secretly a girl who had seven children; six sons and one daughter. the stepmom/queen (?) found out about the kids and cursed the six sons to be a swan. they can only be human for a certain time and tell their sister that they have a way to break the spell— knit six magical nettles and don't speak for SIX YEARS OR ELSE. so this sister keeps on working for it until some random dude king marries her bc she's pretty- then her mother in law doesn't like her bc she thinks the sister is sus ™, accusing her of being a witch. since she can't speak she can't get a lawyer for herself and is thrown to be burned at the stake- that's when the six years expire. before she could get burned, her bros came back bc she gave em the magical nettles and she was finally able to speak and stood up for herself. they lived whatever happened next. SO ANYWAYS HERE'S MY DERIVATIVE VERSION OF THIS *evil laughs* (does not contain angst….? ah whatever just remember it's not that angsty !!! )

    Todd was just a young kid when it happened. Barely ten years old. When their Mother married that filthy King. When a good-for-nothing KIng decided to marry their Mother and marry another woman after her; The Queen— more like the Witch— because apparently, their Mother is not worthy to fit in the throne. And she should be a secret. A secret?! What a ridiculous situation! Their whole family?! Hidden?! From WHAT? 

    Todd knew that his Mother and their family deserved a lot better. His Mother was everything. His brothers have a lot more to give to people. They deserve spotlights too, you know? They shouldn't live in the Hidden Woods, enduring and tolerating every struggle for being hidden and away from civilization, just because a greedy and selfish King couldn't keep it in him. 

    He was angry. A lot. Especially that day when the Witchy Queen came into their house. Pretended to be nice. Pretend to care for them. But that's the bitter truth, huh? Unexpected surprises that come with a smile are still surprises that leave you terrified.

    He was barely ten back then when the Witchy Queen cursed his family; six of his older brothers. His Mother, missing. If not for being stubborn, he would’ve been a swan too. He hates that day with so much passion his inside could feel. 

    Why is he the one who doesn't get to be a swan? Why can't it be his eldest brother Jeff? His brother is smarter, anyway. His brother, Cameron? Who can be more orderly than him. Charlie, who is more clever than him. Knox, calmer and has a lot of patience. Meeks and Pitts, who are basically the best and best combining all of them. Why does it have to be him who has to solve what is left and endure a life as a human? Why is it when the spotlights close all you can see is shadows? All that is left is the darkness that is full of hate and fear. That nobody ever wants to see. And all that is left is him. Him and a thirty minute spotlight of his brothers. 

    He was finally ten then, alone. The sun was starting to dim but not enough to fall asleep yet. Todd’s brothers are yet to come at dusk which means his birthday is over. But, they did come the day before right? It’s fine. He sighed. Sometimes, he thinks that hate and anger is the only thing that keeps him alive. No purpose, no reasons; just an embodiment of pure anger. 

    So, why, then again, when this weird kid suddenly got lost in the Hidden Woods, he forgot all about that anger and hate? 

    “Hello! Is somebody here? I need help!” shouted he. Todd knew better to not open his door to a stranger in the woods, but this time he felt different. What’s the worst thing that could happen right? So, he opened the door.

    “Good evening, sir- er, uhm- are you a kid or… or… a witch in disguise?”

    Todd frowned. “What?”

    The brunette kid looked terrified. “Huh, I said, you don’t happen to be a witch, do you?”

    Todd looked, up and down, to this kid who looked like he could be a Prince. Maybe from a neighboring kingdom- or he could be that wretched Witchy Queen’s son- but that’s impossible! He doesn’t look like her. Not any resemblance. 

    “How do I know YOU’RE not the witch?” Todd asked back.

    “No! I’m- I’m Neil the second, son of King Thomas. I- I got lost when my carriage fell. I don’t know where I am! Here,” he took something out of his pocket. “This is my token, you can take it and I’ll come back for it to pay you.”

    Todd didn’t really want to but took the small bag from Neil’s hand. Hey, if it’s all true, maybe he can sell the token instead. 

     “And what do you need, your majesty? This house is not exactly an inn.”

    Neil grinned. “I don’t need an expensive inn, please just let me stay here for the night.”

    Todd considered it. What harm could be done? “Just for the night, Prince.” 

    They both entered the house. Despite being not welcoming, Todd was still taught on how to have good manners. He served tea and food for the Prince and left him there at the drawing room. He hid himself in the kitchen where a deserted small cake is left uneaten on the table. He bought it himself from town earlier this morning, hoping his brothers would come earlier today to join him. But so far, so bad. 

    “Where’s your family?” Neil suddenly asked. Todd batted him an eye but said nothing. “Do you live alone? That must be fun. We have a big home and it’s always full of people. They never do anything fun, though. Full of boring stuff.”

    Todd pretended the prince wasn’t there and stared at a window. 

    “Hey-” Neil entered the kitchen room with a bard on his hand. Todd saw it and snatched it from his hands. 

    “Will you please not take anything from my house?”

    Todd placed the bard on the table. His family were a bunch of great musicians- especially his brother, Charlie, he has a lot of instruments including the bard. Some evenings, they will all sit down on the fireplace together and sing to their Mother’s tune. Todd misses it. 

    Neil noticed the cake on the table. “Is it your birthday?”

    “Do you attend a school? Do they have a class to teach you to be nosy?”

    Neil laughed. “Oh, no! But I wish the school did have something like that.” Todd rolled his eyes.

    “You’re alone. And it’s your birthday…. do you-”

    Todd snapped at him. “Stop, okay?! Leave me alone!”

    (this makes me wanna cry and bang my head on the walls but continue to read pls)

    He was upset and crying. He left to go to the house’s backyard garden. He hugged his knees and let himself cry. His Mother would’ve told him it’s going to be fine and hugged him. She would have kissed away Todd’s sorrow and agony. His brothers would have made quirky and silly tactics to make him feel better and happy. But they’re not here, are they? And that’s the problem.

    And somehow, Neil found Todd in the garden.

    “What are you doing here? Leave me alone.” 

    Neil pursued his lips and sat beside Todd. “I’m sorry.”

    Todd wiped his tears. “It’s not your fault. I’m just a crybaby.”

    “No, you’re not. Crying is good for the soul, you know? Tears and weeping keeps a lot of things alive! Like your garden. The sky weeps for them. There is nothing in this world that hasn’t been made from tears and sweat. Sometimes your words and voices won’t be able to describe what you feel so your tears help them. The one who doesn’t speak, which your heart, feels the loudest and cries the most. Don’t feel bad for that!”

    “You’re odd.”

    “I get that a lot. Do you feel better?”

    Todd sniffed but stayed silent for a while. “You were right.”

    “Oh… about? The crying? Oh, for sure! Just remember-”

    “No! Not that, silly. My birthday.”

    “Oh, right. Happy Birthday! I’ve been taking a class for music- I can sing for you,” Neil said and took out a bard behind his back that Todd wondered how he managed to get. 

    “I told you not to take any of my stuff.”

    Neil ignored him and cleared his throat. “Good sir, I thank you for having a heart of gold. I give thee an everlasting invitation to visit the Kingdom. And now, music.”

    He started a mellow tune and sang the most beautiful hymn Todd ever heard. Even the birds stopped to listen, it’s almost as if there was magic in his voice that roped in everyone to listen. It was magical. And although it was heavy on Todd’s heart he offered to eat the cake with Neil that evening.

    The next morning, like the wind, Neil was gone and all that was left was a letter. 

    “Golden boy, I never really caught your name but in my heart, your face shall be engraved. I will never forget your kindness- although it was quite hidden. One day, I will come back for my token. Hundred of luck for you.

    The Prince, Neil.”

    A young generous prince like Neil- Todd wondered what if he was a Prince too? Would he look beautiful like Neil? And if so, is it possible to have him as a friend? But that will never happen. First thing first; his family is cursed.  His brothers are swans! How could they break it?

    “We finally found a way to break the curse,” Jeff said. 

    That was the day where everything in Todd’s life changed. Six years of the unspeakable. Literally! And, sew magic nettles? What does he know about sewing? Meeks and Pitts know sewing alright. Him? All he knows are books and gardens. 

    “Todd, this is our only chance to live again. We will be with you every step of the way.”

    Todd gulped and then he nodded. He never really liked talking that much, no?

    In the span of those six years, no talking and just sewing, Todd learned to write and savor words through ink and papers. It was dreadful just as it was sweet. His brothers and him grew old together. Every thirty minutes was either spent on bonding or planning how to wreck the Queen’s Kingdom once they’re free of the curse. 

    It was six years- a big passage of their lives- so much time for planning and feeling. In those six years within every 30 minute of the day for the six brothers, they got some other people to join a rebellion against the Witchy Queen. They grew and grew, stronger and stronger. Todd never forgot about Neil, though. Most of the time, he wishes that they won’t see each other until the six year expires and everything is normal again. 

    Yeah. Normal.

    “Listen, Todd, the six years will expire soon. The nettles are almost complete and you will be able to speak again. This is the day we shall rise up again-”

    “We’ve been rising up ever since we became birds, dumbass.”

    “Shut up. Does everybody remember the plans?”

    “Yeah, unlike you, we’re not an old man who has a rusty memory.”

    “One more and you’ll never return to being human ever again.” 

    “I was just joking.”

    “Let’s recall the plan.”

    “Todd takes the dancing swan to the palace-”

    “.. Tonight at the big Gala-”

    “.. The revolution is there with us-”

    “... when midnight strikes, Todd tossed the nettles to us-”

    “... we take our revenge!”

    “AND FINALLY BREAK THE CURSE!”

    Not a lot of pressure on Todd, huh? What’s the worst thing that could happen?

    That’s what he thought years ago, a day ago and a minute ago and it gradually gets worse every second. Todd was voiceless. He was among the crowds of the joyous people of the Kingdom, dancing and flattering each other. He didn’t even notice when he slipped to be in the middle of the dancing sea. Someone was holding- and it was not the wind or magic. Standing before him was a tall brunette who looked handsome as ever.

    Todd knows who he is and he wanted to say it in his voice- but the six years curse is yet to break. Neil knew him, though, and he spoke- in his honey dripped voice. When did a voice sound so sweet?

    “It’s you, the Golden Boy…”

    Todd stared at him. Unable to speak up but in his mind, he had weaved a thousand words he could say to this boy in front of them. It was a quick moment. The calm before the storm. What happened in the next minutes completely took Todd out.

    “Please, round of applause for the Witchy Queen’s nephew, sir Prince Neil the second of Perryland.”

    (PERRYLAND!!!! PFTFUWFUIOWHIOWHRIOH PLS BYE)

    … Neil… he’s a… he’s a creature of magic too… like the Witch… who cursed his family. 

    The worst thing that could ever happen to him. His heart started pounding, it’s like the walls were squeezing him. He couldn’t breathe. One of the swans pecked him at his knees. He looked at the big clock- it’s almost midnight. He swallowed hard and breathed slowly. Made eye contact with a few members of the rebellion before getting the nettles ready. 

    A loud toll from the clock. The swans flew one by one as Todd kept up and threw them the nettle. One by one, they came back to form. The rebellion already took over the Gala. It was chaotic. 

    “GET THE QUEEN!”

    Todd cried and ran outside. He knelt. He didn’t know what to feel but he knew it was a lot. Too much to explain and all he can do is weep. The one who doesn’t speak, huh?

    He felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Neil’s. He looked up and cried even more and hugged him. 

    “Oh my God it’s you,” were his first words after a long six years and he said it to Neil. To Neil.

    “Are you alright?”

    Todd looked at him. “Todd. Todd’s my name.”

    Neil smiled. “Beautiful, eh? Just like you. Just like you.”

    Todd is pretty much angry at himself right now. Seems like everytime they see each other all he can do is cry-  but, hey! Which one of them said it’s great for the soul, huh?

    Todd took out a small bag in his purse, it was where the token was hidden. All these years, Todd never took it away from him and kept it.

    “My token! You took care of it?”

    Todd nodded. Neil smiled, a bit of tears forming in his eyes. “Thank you.”

    Todd also took something from his pocket. It was a flower pressing of camellia wrapped in brown paper and tied in a necklace.

    “Take this, it’s for you,” he said. “Before you go again.”

    Neil smiled bitterly and hugged Todd again. “I will come back to you after all of this mess is dealt with, my Prince.”

    Todd blushed. 

    “Until next time!” 

    He was gone. Just like that. In thin air. Doesn’t matter. Todd can wait for years again just for him. 

    #i say neil came back after maybe two years #got married #but dated enough to know each other first #bye #and then they lived happily ever after #yay#anderperry'neil perry #dead poets society #todd andersonn#neil perry#anderperry week #anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry week 2k21 day 7 fairytale au #ace 🧱#sig writes
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  • sapphicnoel
    25.10.2021 - 1 mont ago

    anderperry week 2k21 day 7: fairytale au

    A/N: day 7 of anderperry week yall. i’m kinda sad that it’s over D: i hope u all have enjoyed this wild ride with me and at least some you like my work. many thanks to @cupiiid for setting the whole thing up! this one is kinda weird but i had fun with it hehe. it doesn’t technically fall under the fairytale au category and i think it’s not my best work by a long shot lol but… oh well. enjoy xx - sam

    “Neil, where are we going?” Todd’s not sure he even wants an answer, but he asks anyway. Neil turns around and smiles, squeezing Todd’s hand in his.

    “You'll see,” is all he says in reply before he turns back around to lead Todd further into the forest. They trample past tall trees and stumps in the dying daylight. Todd wonders for a moment if Neil’s going to drag him somewhere tk murder him. But if he was, why would he be holding Todd’s hand? Todd’s wanted to tell Neil how he feels for ages, but he hasn’t quite worked up the courage for it. Maybe this is Neil’s way of beating him to the punch?

    Finally, they finish their trek at the entrance to the old cave where they have Dead Poets meetings. Todd’s left eyebrow quirks up, and he’s about to open his mouth to ask Neil something else when he turns to face him. Neil smiles at Todd, a soft sort of expression making its way across his handsome face. For a moment, it’s all Todd sees.

    “Todd, you’re my best friend, and I.. I don’t want to keep secrets from you,” Neil starts almost nervously, which is new for him.

    “Neil, what is it? Whatever you need to tell me can’t be that bad. Just tell me, please?” Todd reaches out for one og Neil’s hands and takes it, rubbing his thumb over the back for a moment to reassure his friend. What secret is he hiding? Todd wonders.

    Neil takes a deep breath, then Todd watches as a bright light consumes him, covering him. It lasts for a minute or so, barely giving Todd time to consider running away. Instead, he stays. Neil is more important to him than any qualms he may have about what in the hell is going on.

    Finally the light dissipates, and Neil is still where he was, but… There are thin, iridescent wings poking out of his shoulder blades. Okay, what the fuck?

    “Um, care to explain this, Neil?” He asks, staring at his friend with wide eyes. The wings only add to his appearance, to Todd’s surprise. Neil looks even better than before and Todd thought there wasn’t any way he could be more handsome or more utterly attractive… but maybe Todd had fallen farther in love than he’d previously thought.

    “This is going to sound crazy, but..” Neil pauses for emphasis then continues, “I’m a fae, or fairy as you humans like to say.”

    Todd stares in shock for a long few minutes. He sighs, then figures that this isn’t the very worst of secrets to have.

    “Okay.” He replies. “That doesn’t make me love you any less.”

    “You love me?” Neil asks, hardly believing such an admission.

    “Yeah. I’ve loved you for awhile now, but I-“

    Neil cuts him off with a soft kiss, full of everything he couldn’t bring himself to say. Lucky for him, Todd understands. He kisses back and grins when they part.

    “Todd?”

    “Yeah?”

    “Will you be my boyfriend?”

    “As if you have to ask! You know, a fairy boyfriend doesn’t seem so bad.” Todd replies with a laugh and kisses Neil again, because he can and because he wants to.

    They walk back to Welton hand in hand. Todd knows this is about probably the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to him, but he can’t bring himself to care. Neil is still the Neil he loves, that’s all that matters.

    taglist : D (also pls let me know you’d like to be on a more permanent list for any writing i put up!!)

    @regina-della-poesia @maisietheweltoncow @aedan-mills

    #me rn: well now what do i do #y’all fr im sad :( this has been so fun to do #and you all are so lovely :( #ily to ppl who interact with my posts #anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry fic#mine#my writing
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  • poetofthedyingstars
    25.10.2021 - 1 mont ago

    boy i am so excited for tomorrow's last day of anderperry week i might just cry— i have my fairytale au ready spark spark although not written yet physically well it looks great on my brain it's amazing it's my favorite honestly cries y'all r amazing btw

    #for da anderperry week contents maker and for those who couldn't join even if they wanted to #y'all are equally amazng #lots of love #ace 🧱
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  • justarandompjofan
    25.10.2021 - 1 mont ago

    Anderperry Week: Fairytale AU

    I’m really sad it’s over, but I present to you: A kind of Cinderella AU?? It’s not really but it kind of is…You’ll see what I mean.

    Todd stood in the corner of the room, hands in his pockets. Oh how he didn’t want to be there. The music was too loud, people kept asking to dance, it was a nightmare. Of course, he was happy that Jeffery was trying to find a wife, but he didn’t understand why he had to be there.

        “Are you alright?” He looked up. Standing in front of him was one of the most handsome men he had ever seen. He felt his face heating up.

        “Yes, I’m fine, thank you.”

        “I’m Neil. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

        “Todd.”

        He froze, “As in-“

        “Yes, as in the prince.”

        “Your highness I-“

        He held up his hand, “Please. Just Todd. I’ve had enough your highnessing at this god forsaken party than I ever need in a lifetime.”

        “Aren’t royals bred to enjoy parties?”

        “Something went wrong with me, apparently.”

        He laughed, “I’m not much of the party type either.”

        “Then why are you here? Unlike me I don’t think it was mandatory for you.”

        “I’m here with my friend, Ginny. She wished for me to escort her. I’m not sure why since she ditched me right as we entered.”

        “Perhaps she’ll marry Jeffery? I can put in a good word if you’d like.”

        “No, that’s alright. She isn’t here to win his hand. I’m sure he’s wonderful but, “he lowered his voice, “she’s actually here with her uh…“friend”, Chris. It was her idea to come and Ginny dragged me along.”

        “I see.”

        Neil held out his hand, “Care to dance, Todd?”

        “Oh, I’d love to but…”

        “But?” he asked

        “I’m already on thin ice with my parents. I don’t think this would help me.”

        “I’m sorry to hear that.”

        “I wish I could dance with you though…listen, how do you feel about leaving the ballroom?”

        He raised an eyebrow, “Are we allowed to do that?”

        “I am the prince after all. Two of my friends are guarding the east exit of the room. So if you’d like…”

        “I would love to. Dancing in secrect sounds much more fun than this. Hopefully Ginny doesn’t go looking for me.”

        “I just have to find a way out without people noticing.” It seemed, in that moment, that fate took pity on him. The doors opened and a young girl walked in. Her dress was shimmering and all attention was drawn to her. Everyone’s including Jeffery and his parents.

        “I think this is our way.” Todd led him through the crowd of people and thankfully, no one cast a glance in their direction. He approached the door where Cameron and Charlie stood.

        “Hey.”

        Cameron smiled, “Hey, Todd. How can we help you?”

        “Could you let us leave?”

        “Need some alone time with your boy, eh?” Charlie smirked.

        Todd shoved him, “It is nothing like that.”

        Cameron opened the door slightly, “Hurry through.”

        “You’ll cover for me if anyone asks?”

        “Of course. Now leave.” They slipped through the door into the much quieter and empty hall. The music was still faint in the background.

        “Now, may I have this dance?” Todd asked.

        Neil bowed, “Of course. Though I must warn you, I’m not very good.”

        “Just follow my lead, alright?” He put his hands on Neil’s waist, and he put his hands on Todd’s shoulders. He had never been much of a dancer, but he felt determined. He tried to remember every dance lesson he’d had and lead Neil with the music. It was the best he’d ever done. Maybe this was the trick. Hours passed by and they just talked in that hallway. It was the first party Todd had ever enjoyed. Just before midnight, Neil stood.

        “I hate to leave, but I think I’m supposed to meet up with Ginny soon.”

        “Will you give me your address? So we can write?” He pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and a pen from his pocket.

         Neil quickly wrote it down and smiled at him, “I had a really nice time tonight.”

         “Me too.”

         He glanced around, his face turning pink, “Todd…I’m sorry if this is too forward of me to ask, but can I kiss you?” He nodded and their lips met. It was fireworks. Something about Neil was so different, so incredible.

        He pulled back, “I’ll see you another day, Todd.” Todd stared after him as Neil walked back into the ballroom. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there for before Jeffery came running in fron the main entrance. He was in such a daze that he barely noticed him.

        “Todd, the maiden I was dancing with. As soon as the clock struck twelve she ran away. Did you see her?”

        “Huh?”

        “You met someone!” Jeffery exclaimed, seemingly forgetting about the girl.

        “W-what are you talking about?”

        “Oh come on, I’m happy for you! What’s his name?”

        He glanced behind him, making sure no one was there, “Promise you won’t tell mom and dad?”

        “Promise.”

        “His name’s Neil. I think I really like him.”

        “That’s great! At least one of our nights went successfully.”

        “Yours didn’t?”

        “As I was saying, the girl I danced with ran away. All she left was this glass slipper.”

        “She’ll be back tomorrow, I’m sure.”

        “You think?”

        He nodded, “Definitely.” And he actually believed himself. He had met Neil after all.

    #anderperry week #anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry #dead poets society #dps
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  • anderperrytheplatypus
    25.10.2021 - 1 mont ago

    My anderperry week fics so far!! Only three done aaaaa

    (Well one still needs a second chapter but)

    #dead poets society #anderperry#anderperry week
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  • nik-knacks
    25.10.2021 - 1 mont ago

    Anderperry Week 2k21 Day Seven - Fairytale AU

    Hahaha so I speedran this in like two and a half hours because I forgot and then panicked and this was the word vomit that occured. What a way to end off my Anderperry Week huh? Thank you all so much for reading my works and most of all thank you to Char (@cupiiid) for setting up this event for everybody!! It was so much fun <333

    Tags! @cupiiid @aedan-mills @maisietheweltoncow @tuskofthyme @justarandompjofan @mentalthisone @iguanamuppet

    Summary: Anderperry The Little Mermaid AU

    Neil rowed the boat down the river slowly, the river covered in a thin blue mist as the moon slowly rose over the horizon. The mute mystery boy was sitting across from him, looking down at the water and occasionally back at him. He really did remind Neil of the blond who’d saved him from the shipwreck only days ago, but that boy’s melodic voice was ingrained in Neil’s mind, and this boy could very clearly not even talk.

    There was something about him though that made Neil’s heart stutter. The moonlight in his hair looked like a halo, like he wasn’t from Neil’s world and was some sort of mythical creature. It was almost like the water was singing some sort of song, trying to get Neil to do something.

    Neil glanced around. “Did you hear something?”

    The blond glanced up, smiling and shaking his head. Great, so Neil was also hallucinating?

    Neil looked away, taking a breath before peering over at him. The boy glanced back at Neil, blue eyes clearer than the water below. Neil felt a voice in his head, the both of them leaning in like there was some invisible string tying their hearts together. He blinked, pulling back and rowing the boat again, looking towards the foliage to avoid the awkward eye contact with the boy across from him in this little boat.

    Maybe he was shy, or maybe it was just his rational thinking, but despite Neil’s strange urge to kiss the boy, he found himself apprehensive. Neil kept rowing, the rhythmic sounds of the oars dragging and leaving the water moving his thoughts along. He didn’t even know his name!

    Neil smiled. “Y’know, I feel really bad not even knowing your name.” He did a big row, laughing to himself as he leaned back in the boat and released the oars, bringing his hand up to his chin. “Maybe I can guess?”

    The boy smiled, nodding along.

    “Um. How about… Albert?” Neil guessed. The boy pulled a half offended, half confused face at the name and Neil chickled. “Alright, that's a no, then.” He paused to think. “Um. Jack? How about Michael?” Neil rattled off names, the boy shaking his head at each.

    That hallucinatory voice in his head whispered something in his ear. A name. Todd?

    Neil furrowed his eyebrows. “Todd?” He repeated questioningly, glancing around. Who had said that?

    The blond boy - Todd - nodded enthusiastically, a grin on his face as he took Neil’s hand.

    “Todd?” Neil asked more excitedly, smiling. “That's a pretty nice name.” He said, taking his other free hand to clasp around their connected ones. “Okay, Todd.”

    The boat drifted off into the nearby lagoon, a ring of leaning trees and thick flora huddled around the area. It was like a whole other world, the only two people in it being Neil and Todd as the boat moved of its own accord, drawn to this ethereal place on the water.

    Neil stared into clear blue eyes like he could see the mysteries of the ocean in them, as if they were deep enough to go pearl diving in and see the colours of coral reefs. It felt magical, the out of this world aura surrounding Todd capturing Neil’s attention like the tide whisked away bits of sand off the shore.

    Neil felt like he was drowning - but not in the literal way that caused him needing to be saved by the Todd-like boy with the beautiful voice the other day - but in the way you drowned in emotion and in thoughts and in colours. A romanticized sense of drowning, the air falling out of his lungs and bubbles blooming in his chest.

    Nothing that was currently happening made any sense to Neil. The only thing in the world was Neil and Todd, their hands connected as the boat floated idly in a circle and they stared into each other’s souls.

    The voice in Neil’s head was urging for him to lean over, the one voice turning into a chorus of voices, singing and harmonising into a song almost demanding for the two of them to lean closer.

    Todd was looking at Neil with a similar look of tenderness, like he could see through Neil and knew something he didn’t. He held Neil’s hands in his softly, an equally soft smile on his face as Neil’s thoughts raced.

    Neil leaned in, Todd’s eyes slipping shut as he followed, the energy between them careful and intimate. His eyes started to close, trying to memorise every line and feature on Todd’s face as he got closer and closer. Their faces were so close, Neil could feel Todd’s breathing and if he listened close enough, maybe even his heartbeat (or maybe that was Neil’s thumping in his ears?) as they got closer and closer, their lips almost touching.

    The boat abruptly toppled to the side, sending both Neil and Todd careening into the cold water of the blue lagoon as the boat flipped over.

    Neil bobbed in the water, gasping for air and wiping the water out of his eyes. “Woah! Hang on.” He said to Todd, who was in a similar situation bobbing in the water beside the overturned boat.

    In the nearby bushes, Cameron facepalmed. So close.

    #anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry week 2k21 day 7 #anderperry week 2k21 day 7 fairytale au #anderperry #dead poets society #dps#neil perry#todd anderson#andeperry fanfic#dps fandom#dps fanfiction #dead poets society fanfiction
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  • cupiiid
    25.10.2021 - 1 mont ago

    anderperry week day six: hurt/comfort

    hey!! so, this is a day late again, sorry for that, life is wild man. day seven will either be out later today or tomorrow depending on how much time i have. after that, i’ll post the part two for day four at some point :). this is probably my favourite piece i’ve written for anderperry week and it really does hold a special place in my heart so please go easy on it. i hope you enjoy <3

    summary: the aftermath of neil’s attempt.

    (a/n- just a quick warning, this work deals a lot with suicide and suicidal thoughts and i changed neil’s method as well to drug overdose instead of a gun just to fit the needs of the plot. it goes pretty in depth at times so if you are sensitive to these kinds of thing, this one might be best to skip. please reach out if you’re ever feeling suicidal, if you’re in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number. stay safe everybody <3)

    ***

    Neil used to think death would be peaceful. Hell, that’s why he tried to die in the first place. But as he awoke from his coma, gasping and squirming like a newborn, he truly realised how messy death was. 

    He’d awoken to his mother crying, his father yelling and nurses and doctors swarming him like flies. He tried to push them away, to call out for his friends, but it was no use, they stuck around insistently. Somehow, this was more suffocating than before.

    Waking up was terrifying in and of itself, but when the last nurse left the room, Neil was convinced he’d never felt such paralysing fear in his life. Pure adrenaline shot up his spine and filled up his lungs like a thick gas, making it hard to breathe. It was just them now. His father paced the room intently, a bomb just waiting to go off, while his mother smoked in the chair next to his bed. Her eyes had that glazed over look they often bore when she was frightened, a trait both him and his mother shared which Charlie had pointed out years ago.

    Without warning, his father quickly spun towards him, harsh fury lined his face, but his voice came out ice cold, a jarring contrast. Neil flinched at the action. “I don’t understand you, Neil. You have such a good life, how could you possibly want to- to die?” He looked at his hands and silently willed them to stop trembling; to not cry. He stayed silent. He feared that if he said anything, this could only end badly. He didn’t want his father to yell. He hated it when he yelled. “Do you want to defy us? Is that it?” Tears welled up in his eyes now, a lifetime of keeping them in was wearing him down. He was almost at the end of his rope. Still, his father pressed on. Neil could feel the temperature in the room rise in time with his father’s wrath. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Neil. You see your friends being ‘depressed’ and you want the attention so you do it too.” 

    His friends. His wonderful friends who would walk to the ends of the earth for him and had been nothing but supportive in everything he’d ever done. Himself. He’d kept everything in for so long he couldn’t tell what thoughts were him and what was his father anymore, they all blurred into the same words that were repeated in his head like a sick mantra. He didn’t want to rock the boat, he didn’t want to be a burden, he wanted to be perfect. His father had made him feel like if he wasn’t the exemplary son, he was nothing. So, once Neil realised he could never be perfect enough for his father, for himself, he tried to cut himself out of the picture and this, this is how he’s treated? He swallowed too many pills with the intent to kill himself and nothing changed. He broke.

    “I’ve felt like this since I was twelve!” He blurted out, voice coming out croaky from negligence, nails digging into his palms. He felt his mother’s eyes on him and heard her sob hazily as if he was underwater. Rage, frustration, fear, exhaustion all filled him up to the brim and was let out in his single sentence. His father stared at him with keen eyes, eagle eyes, and mouth breaking into a frown. Mr Perry cleared his throat.

    “You’re being dramatic, Neil.” And then he left. Neil felt courage ooze out of him like honey as he slumped down in his bed and began to cry.

    And that was that.

    The Perry family swept a lot under the rug. They stored elephants in the room like dust bunnies and nothing was ever talked about. Family secrets ran through their blood and seemed to be set in their DNA. Neil often wondered idly that if he died, would he become another family secret too painful to touch? Would Neil be one of those topics brought up at holidays that would make the room go silent? They always taught Neil to keep his mouth shut, maybe that would be his revenge. 

    It was a three days since he’d woken up from the coma, -one that lasted about a week and a half, he was later informed- his father had been back to see him everyday and, just as he’d expected, the topic of Neil’s suicide attempt had been glossed over and hidden under talk about schoolwork. Neil wanted to scream at them to just talk about it, to bring it up, he was in the hospital for fuck’s sake! He had to get his stomach pumped, his parents had been there to witness all the vomit and tears and tubes and still, after all of that, they didn’t even address the problem. He was cracking at the seams and no one mentioned it.That alone made Neil want to try again. 

    There was a night though, almost a week after he’d awoken where his father had left hours ago and his mother was forced to go home and get some rest, where Neil was laying in his bed late at night, unable to sleep. He’d been thinking about what would’ve happened if he really did die. How would his parents react? His friends? The school? Charlie? Todd?

    Todd had been on his mind a lot lately. His shy, funny, beautiful boyfriend who Neil adored. He wondered how he was doing. How he was coping. A part of his heart felt guilt for trying to leave while the other only felt compelled to try again. Maybe Todd, maybe all of them, would just be better off without him, without needing to deal with all this mess that came with being his friend. It would sure take a lot off their shoulders.

     None of his friends had come to see him yet. The logical part of his brain told him it was his father, but a smaller, more vocal part, believed it was because of him, because they didn’t actually want to see him. His mind got very dark very quickly. Thoughts clouded around his head, swirling like a dark fog and skewing his perception of things. He was about to make a very impulsive decision. 

    Just as he was about to get up to put his plan into action, the door to his hospital room was swiftly opened as a cloaked figure stepped in breathlessly. They both froze for a moment. Moonlight streamed through the window but the figure had the hood pulled up around their face. “N-Neil?” The person squeaked. Neil knew that stammer anywhere. He’d be able to recognise that voice even if he hadn’t heard it in a thousand years.

    “Todd?” Todd ripped off his hood and the fact it was him became clear. With his face revealed, Neil could now see what a state Todd was in. He had dark bags under his eyes and his hair was disheveled. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. The look on Todd’s face signaled he must not look much better. Neil knew he’d lost weight and he was much paler than the last time he’d seen him. He suddenly had the urge to wrap his arms around himself to shield Todd from how disgusting he probably looked. Before he had the chance to do anything else, however, Todd sprinted into his arms and held him tight, burying his face in Neil’s neck. He felt tears drip onto his collarbone.

    “Neil, oh my god, Neil, you’re okay.” Neil was confused but he tentatively wrapped his arms around the other boy as a sob was torn from Todd’s throat. Any other time, he would have been quick to comfort Todd, to ask him what was wrong, but his brain felt too fuzzy to think properly, like it was TV static. His boyfriend pulled his face out from the crook of his neck and held Neil’s face between his hands like he was made of glass. “Oh my god. We-we were so scared. We thought you were dead.” Neil had regained some semblance of a brain now and held him closer, tighter. 

    “You were worried about me?” He asked carefully. Todd looked at him incredulously.

    “What are you on about? Of course we were worried. After the play, n-nobody heard from you for days and- and then they told us about the accident and- and- we didn’t know if you were alright. We thought you were dead, Neil.” The way Todd said dead sent a shot of fear through his body. Todd said dead like losing Neil was the worst thing to ever happen. 

    “Why… why haven’t you come visit me yet?” He inquired softly, not wanting Todd to be mad at him. He couldn’t handle it, he just couldn’t. Todd’s eyebrows furrowed.

    “Your father. He kept things so under wraps we didn’t even know if you were alive. It was terrifying. I don’t want to be in a world without Neil Perry. I’d rather die. We all wanted to go, really, especially Charlie, but getting us all here would be too difficult and the boys wanted me to see you first.” Tears welled up in Neil’s eyes. “We love you, Neil. So much.” Todd choked out, pressing his forehead to Neil’s. 

    That’s when Neil began to weep. He felt so much weight and so much worry over his friends, he needed to let it out. “I thought you didn’t want to see me. I thought you didn’t care.” He said through the tears clogging his throat. Todd gave him the most heartbreaking look he’s ever seen.

    “We do care about you, we do. If there was a way to come faster, we would have. Charlie was considering busting you out of here and decking your father in the face himself.” Neil huffed a teary little laugh at the sentiment. “We love you, Neil. So, so, so much.” He wiped away Neil’s remaining tears with his thumbs and looked deep into his eyes. “I love you. More than anything in the world. More than air and warmth and Walt Whitman combined.” He said it with such sincerity, Neil couldn't help but surge forward and kiss him. Todd, of course, kissed back. 

    He and Todd had kissed too many times to count and Neil thought he’d memorized all the ways his boyfriend kissed. There was the way he’d kiss when they’d just woken up in the morning; sweet and sleep soft. There was the way he’d kiss when Neil would say/do something sappy; all gentle and warm and loving. Or the way he’d kiss when he wanted Neil in his bed; hungry, rough and full of passion. But as they kissed in that hospital bed in December, Todd kissed him in a way that told him he loved him and he wanted him to be safe and he never wanted to lose him all without words. He held Neil all fluttering and careful like he didn’t want to hurt him and Neil loved him for it, trying to reciprocate by telling him how much he adored him.

    After a bit, they pulled away in favour of laying in Neil’s bed, holding each other. Todd would have to leave eventually, not wanting to be caught out of bed, especially here in Neil’s, but neither of them wanted to think about that right now. He held Todd in his arms and tried to commit to memory the way he smelled and the way his head felt on his chest. He knew Todd was trying to memorise the way his heartbeat sounded. Just as Neil was getting caught up in thoughts about his beautiful boyfriend, Todd spoke up.

    “They said it was an accident. That you had a headache and accidentally took too many pills.” Neil froze up. “That’s not true, is it?” He asked like he already knew the answer. Neil knew he did. He couldn’t find it in him to speak. Of course, leave it to his father to keep the Perry family portrait unblemished. Obviously having a son who tried to commit suicide was off the table so calling it a mistake would have to suffice. Todd rightly took his silence as a yes. He sat up and turned to Neil, looking angelic almost in the moonlight. “Promise me you won’t try again.” Neil sighed.

    “Todd… I- I can’t. You don’t know what it’s like. He makes me feel like I’m so alone and trapped, that- that I can’t break free of the roles of doctor and straight. The only way I can escape is through death.” Todd frowned tightly. 

    “You’re not trapped. You’re not alone either. You’ll have graduated in another year and a half, then you can do whatever you want. And- and you have us too. Me, Charlie, Knox, Meeks, Pitts, Cameron, Keating, Ginny, we’re all here for you, no matter what.” 

    “I know. I know you are and I love you all for it but it’s not that easy.” Neil said sadly. Todd exhaled and took his hand.

    “I know. Just- just promise me that if you ever feel trapped or alone again, you’ll talk to us? Me, Charlie, Keating, anyone?” Neil hesitated. “You have people in your corner, Neil.” 

    “I can’t promise anything, but I can try. I know you guys are here for me.”

    “Good. Please don’t bottle this up.” 

    “Okay.” 

    Neil and Todd layed back down. Todd didn’t fix everything of course. He was special for sure, but he wasn’t magic. He couldn’t make Neil’s father not an asshole. He couldn’t stop Neil from hating himself. He couldn’t even really get rid of that voice in Neil’s brain that told him to just try again. But he did lessen the blow for all of it. Instead of the sharp, stinging panic that made him do what he did last time, the feeling was now a blunt pain less urgent but still dangerous. 

    If Neil wanted to live, really live, he’d need to put in a lot of effort, effort he didn’t know that he even had in him. But Todd telling him he loved him, they all loved him, and encouraging him to talk to them about this, to try. It made a spark of hope ignite in his stomach. It wasn’t a lot, but it was something.

    ***

    @aedan-mills @nik-knacks @maisietheweltoncow 

    #this ones dark #anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry week day six #anderperry#dps fic#todd anderson#neil perry
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  • poetofthedyingstars
    25.10.2021 - 1 mont ago

    anderperry week, day 6 sick/hurt comfort: “as usual”

    hehe sick/hurt comfort laced with angst and my brain is broken sshhhhh no complaints not proofread btw yeet

    neil sighed as he struts in the long hallways of the hospital. truthfully, he have always dislike hospital, you know? it's just the people. it's just a weird building. just a weird building. totally not the people and their memories in it. totally.

    he opened the door— the only door he goes everyday. that one white door on the third floor. where todd anderson lies in sickness. trying to get better.

    he smiled immediately when he caught glimpse of the other boy. soft ‘hi’s were thrown in the air as neil gets the breakfast ready.

    “how've you been, sweetheart?” he asked. as he usually does.

    “the usual,” todd croaks. as he usually does too. “the nurses keeps waking me up in the middle of the night— they're gonna get their poem from me really soon.”

    neil snickered at that. todd loves writing poems whether it's something he loves or something he hates. nevertheless, it was always laced with the sweetness of honey and covered in multiple blankets of metaphors. he's very delicate when writing, maybe that's why, it always came out perfectly. neil loves it.

    “did you write a new one yet?” he asked. todd sat up in his bed and shook his head.

    “nah, too sick to write one yesterday,” he answered.

    “i'm sure you'll write a new one again, yeah?”

    “yeah.”

    they sat in silence for a moment. they ate their breakfast like the usual. neil spoon fed todd although he really doesn't like it. says he can but never take the spoon away from neil anyways.

    “how about you, what'd you do?” todd asked.

    “nothing much, you know. school and stuff. can't wait to get out of the school,” he answered while laughing.

    “i wish i can go to school,” todd sighs.

    “you will! when you get out of here. i promise.”

    “if i get out of here, you mean.”

    “WHEN you get out of here, i'll take you to our school. it has a nice ambience, you'll love it. you'd love the guys too.”

    “i already met lots of em. you, like, bring them here on Saturdays.”

    “yeah,” he laughed. “because—”

    they both said in unison, “charlie said, Saturdays are for the boys.”

    they laughed. “it's so corny i wonder where he got that.”

    “me too! please, he always say lots of weird things. where on earth does he even get that?”

    “i know! last time he started info dumping something about the universe i don't even remember it was informative though...”

    they laughed again until both of their tummy hurts. until todd's internal hurts. he stopped and reached for neil's hand for comfort.

    “neil, it hurts, it hurts,” he said. neil held his hands and squeezed it.

    “it's going to be fine, it's gonna be fine,” he whispered in his soft loving voice. “i'm gonna call the doctor, okay? just wait for me. it's gonna be fine.”

    neil looked back at todd, trying to assure him before he went out to find the doctors and nurses. when he came back, he was pushed back behind the crowd of medical professionals and even in the midst of it, his eyes and todd's meet.

    neil smiled. todd slept and when he woke up, neil was still there. like the usual. he would always be there, right?

    neil woke up when he felt the delicate fingers he always holds brushing his hair.

    “hey, you're awake,” he said.

    “yeah, unfortunately,” todd jokingly said which earned him a flick (pitik) from neil.

    “what did we talk about saying about these things?”

    “yeah, yeah. should be thankful im alive and stuff.”

    silence.

    “can you stay tonight?” todd asked, avoiding eye contact.

    “that's okay, i have nothing to do anyways,” which is a lie but neil can do those later or tomorrow.

    “sooo, which show do you wanna binge tonight?”

    “ehhh, idk one of your rough old films i guess or that one cartoon about weird teenagers on summer camp eating shitty food.”

    frown. “you mean?? i don't know what's that.”

    “yeah, let's just watch another shakespeare movie.”

    laughs and talks all night long. neil hoped it could be like that everyday. just todd happy. because tomorrow, he might not live to see the sun again.

    #neil probably woke up and left #cause he got tons to do #then he comes back at the hospital #with da bad news #then he decided to become a doctor #cause todd had always said if he can't get out of that shitty place #he hoped the other kids would #and neil lived #todd's poem got published in honor of him #thx #dead poets society #dead poets#dps fandom#neil perry#todd anderson#anderperry#anderperry week #anderperry week 2k21 day 6 sick/hurt comfort #ace 🧱#sig writes
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