uhhh...i’m back. i was “recovering” again
uhhh...i’m back. i was “recovering” again
i made oatmeal for the first time and i made too much but i didnt want to waste the food so i ate it all & i didnt plan on eating that much calories:( but it was soooo good and next time ill make a smaller portion & i think it will be a perfect healthy low cal breakfast. i love that i can easily eat more fruits (bc i struggle with it so much ugh i eat so little fruits) by just adding them into my oatmeal. oatmeals are great 🥣
tiny angels i just bought these beauty products for haircare herbal essences and neutrogena fragrance free and dove frangrace free for body! and i ordered cerave for face things too. :)
Having an Ed and other mental health issues means ur exhausted all the time and cannot clean your room because your brain doesn’t know how or where to put things in a timely fashion ❤️ I’m exhausted from doing nothing I wish I was neurotypical
guess who's back from their depression cave?? im starting a clean eating challenge in hopes of stopping binging
So my day started kinda „oh my good i think I’m very okay with myself today“. And now I just had lunch and I feel full. Now I’m back at „you stupid bitch.how could you just think you deserve food?!“
Just ate dinner 🤢🤢🤢 I moved back home bc of covid but maybe I should get an Airbnb for a few months so I don’t have to come home to the smell of food. I’m not above admitting I don’t have the willpower to fast if food is shoved in my face and also I’m overweight and my stomach is big. It’s going to want something. It was probably around 500 kcal. Which means I had maybe around under 800kcal today.
I signed up for a yoga/Pilates class and want to do more dance so hopefully that helps because I hate exercise otherwise and won’t want to build muscle.
I refuse to beat myself up because I’ll binge. I’ll just clean my room and go to sleep and hope for the best. I’ll probably buy tomatoes tomorrow so if I get hungry at night I can eat them (they’re 3kcal 1 tomato) so it’s a filling treat.
escutei teu choro de longe; lágrimas e sangue se misturavam em meio ao cair da água fria na banheira, os cortes profundos como a noite mais sombria. impossível não reparar que tinhas dor na alma, era nítido pelo seu olhar perdido; tão perdido quanto aquela velha garotinha que teve não apenas a infância, como também sua vida inteira roubada pelo desejo (que antes se mostrara inconsciente, mas que vinha tomando forma e intensidade com o passar dos anos) de alcançar a perfeição; de controlar a si mesma; de se dominar, de tornar realidade tudo aquilo que sua mente doentia projetou. me chamou em pensamento, quando eu te pude te ver e te ouvir, eu vim correndo; velha história, só mudava quem era o personagem, como sempre. você quis, você precisava. e eu estou aqui; sempre serei aquela que te cuidará, que te amará como ninguém nunca amou. os ossos te esperam para além de toda a carne; você quis, você precisava. e você terá tudo aquilo que desejou, custe o que custar. te tornei minha, só minha, e sei que talvez você não quisesse isso, mas concordemos: estamos melhor assim do que antes, não é verdade? para sempre juntas; misturando sangue, água, vazio, solidão e colocando para fora tudo aquilo que nos torna grandes, de um jeito ou de outro. frágil como uma bonecas queres ser? pois frágil te farei, frágil tu serás. enquanto eu estiver aqui - sempre te ajudarei.
I remember being in second grade, blowing out the birthday candles and wishing for a skinnier me. I remember being in third grade and deciding that I should suck in my stomach, I haven’t stopped ever since. I remember being in fourth grade and turning down a grey jacket my mom bought for me because I thought I looked fat in it. I remember being in fifth grade, meeting up with a friend and weighing ourselves in their bathroom, she made fun of me because I didn’t weigh under 85 pounds. I remember her making fun of my belly and how bad I looked in pictures. I felt so awful that day, I turned down every meal my mom made for a week.
So yes, I’m doing this for myself, not for some stupid guy. Ever since I was little I hated the way I looked, I hated my body.
Soy Sauce (Per 1tbsp)
Less Sodium, 10kcal
Soy Sauce, 10kcal
Less Sodium, 5kcal
Soy Sauce, 5kcal
Ocean's Halo No-Soy Soy Sauce, 5kcal
La Choy Lite, 20kcal
San J Tamari Reduced Sodium/Original, 15kcal
Pearl River Light, 10kcal
Vlasic Dill, 5kcal
Kikkoman Wasabi Sauce, 10kcal
S&B Wasabi, 45kcal
Fusion Wasabi Hot Finishing Sauce, 60kcal
Yutaka Japanese Wasabi Paste(Per 25g), 64kcal
House Wasabi Paste(Per 25kg), 63.25kcal
Yes, definitely. I’ve been called out by the members of my family for my lack of eating so many times.
I just wish I looked like them
BEWARE EMOTIONAL EATING!!!
Yesterday I thought I would have to end my fast early cause my dad said he wanted to have dinner together (I was scared to eat but I was excited to get to hang out with him since I barely see him) but when I got home he said he didn’t want to go out (which stressed me out cause I had already planned out all of the stuff) so we ended up getting sushi I got a California roll (230) and had a water with it but once I came home mentally prepared to hate myself he said he wasn’t even hungry (because he ate before I got there) and I ended up having to eat by myself (I’m so angry at myself because I had a perfect opportunity to skip dinner but I didn’t) I ate the whole thing of sushi and half a pack of saltines and I didn’t even count how many calories the saltines had I felt like a disgusting pig (luckily there was nothing else in the house to eat other wise I would have binged more so I ended up purging the crackers and dinner and then I put on a Saran suit and sat in my car with the heat on high to sweat it out and ended up falling asleep for a bit checked my watch and I had burned 600 something calories (enough to burn off meal) but I was extremely itchy I took the wrap off and itched for like 5 minutes then I put another wrap on and went to sleep and when I woke up I had lost three pounds from the last time I was on the scale (sometime that morning) but I think I ate more on what I planned because I was mad at my dad for not caring about spending time with me and it was sad eating with no one there (cause my sisters at collage my parents are divorced and I’m staying at my dads for another week I’m the only one there) but now I’m really happy with the weight I lost from the whole thing so all and all success I guess
After 12 days of every day exercising pushing myself to do more and more and more... my body really hurts, i have (not noticeable) scoliosis but it still hurts like a mother f*cker, my back gets stuck sometimes from all that exercise 😅
My feet and knees are also a pain in the ass bc of all that walking... but thats not gonna stop me today..
Im once again pushing my limit and go for a 3hour walk (16km)
If I maintain a speed of 5km an hour i can burn 1000 cals
Havin' a bad time, Havin' a bad timeeeeee~
I feel like one day I will wake up and be skinny and then I will have no clue what to do with my life and then regret the countless years I have spent doing nothing .
hi so @dizzibunni made me this super pretty cal plan so i’ll be doing this :D
Im so hungry, my mom dosent buy literly anything to eat and i get like super grossed out of lot of foods and hunger triggers my ed so much and i tried recovering i kinda feel like i never ever gonna eat never again but also summer is super soon and i know if im gonna go back to starving mt self im just gonna gain weightand look much fatter, i do have cash but i have hella big axniety too so i cant go to the store, i wanna go to my fathers house to get my cheap perfume what km not using ever bc its disgusting xd lol becayse my moms girlfriend cant any perfumes or nothing so i spray it all over the house so she have to leave for revenge to my mom bc she gets money of me, she profits of my raipes so i almost killed my self today but didint I WANNA CHOCOLATE
I lost myself. That’s what happened. I don’t know when; I don’t know how. It just happened. I was there, and then I wasn’t, and I’m still not quite sure how to get myself back.