I’ve been gone for a while butttt I’m back and thanks for waiting for me!!!
Until I get back to my normal posting here’s a quick edit I made featuring my new obsession
pairings: ceo! eren x secretary! reader
a/n: thinking about turning this into a fic. enjoy & don’t be afraid to send requests!
ceo!eren fingering you, two fingers deep, after everyone’s left the conference room. the meeting was short and to the point, though if anyone were paying attention to the two of you, they would have noticed the long stares and glances you and eren had the pleasure of exchanging. you’re not surprised when eren asks you to take the call on line #1, before coming up from behind you, his hand crawling further and further towards your arousal. as you’re on said call, small hushed out moans slip through even though you try your best to hide them, breath hitching every so often as you try your best to stay focused.
“Pay attention baby, wouldn’t want you to miss anything.” He whispers, lips touching the shell of your ear.
Hange is non-binary and pan but is identified as a man, and moblit is a transboy (•‿•)
tell me about it
part 1 | part 2
you and armin drive down to the race track drunk on each other’s taste, falling harder for one other by the minute. you knew you couldn’t be together, but you two are quick to learn that you’d both do crazy things for love.
♡︎ genre: 50s!au, greaser!armin, slow burn, angst, nsfw, mdni
♡︎ warnings: 18+ dark content ahead, unprotected sex, cockwarming, fingering, car sex, protective!armin + virgin!reader, depictions of phsyical fighting (hand-to-hand combat) + graphic wounds, heavy mentions of blood, stabbing/stab wounds, light mentions of intoxication, ideations of death
♡︎ featuring: s4!armin arlert x f!reader
♡︎ word count: 11k
♡︎ series summary: you worked at rosie’s diner, where the local greaser gang stopped by almost daily. they've become part of your routine, they're your usuals... that was until the day when none of them came in, turns out the gang had crumbled under the hands of one new blonde stud that just moved into town.
a/n: ...this is the second + final part to my 50s!armin mini-series. i cried a lot writing this + i'm v proud of it. it’s long but, it’s something that i really hope has you drooling until the very end... i hope you enjoy la fine <3.
“you just turned my world upside down blondie,” you say through your laughter.
“yeah? tell me about it darling. where to next miss?” he looks over at you with stars in his bloodshot eyes.
“let’s go to that stupid racetrack.”
armin’s veiny hands hugged the thin steering wheel of his caddy tight, knuckles turning white with every bump he hit on the road. you watched his hands intently, he had a gold ring with a ruby in the center on his middle finger of his left hand. on the other he wore two silver bands, one on his pinky and one on his index. you two drove in silence down main street, watching people trickle into the matinee showing of rebel without a cause. the sun was setting leaving an orange haze in the sky, painting armin’s cheekbones a soft golden color. you two had been driving mindlessly for a while, the adrenaline running through your veins gradually subsiding. you brought your attention back down to your lap as your hands toyed with the ends of your skirt, fingers unconsciously picking at the baby pink polish on your nails. you'd gotten terribly nervous all of a sudden.
“alright then, spit it out darling,” armin asks you as you slow down at a stop light. he reaches down to his jacket pocket, fumbling for his pack of marlboros. he places a cigarette between his teeth and unfolds your hand to put his lighter in it, hitting the gas as the light turns green. his eyes never leave the road when he leans over to you and nods his chin in your direction, rocking the cigarette up and down between his teeth.
“light me up will you?” armin slurs through a closed mouth. your hands come up to his mouth as you strike the lighter three times.
you counted as the little flame was freed from its tiny box. you used one hand to hold the flame to the end of the cigarette as the other cupped around armin’s mouth. his cracked lips closed around the yellow tip, his necklace moving up with his chest as he took a deep inhale. your face burned a deep red, those lips were tangled with yours not too long ago. you turned to watch the town pass by, sure to not let armin see you blush at the thought of his lips touching your skin once more. you two fell back into your silence.
“so, what? cat got your tongue sweetheart?” armin smirked as smoke clouded his face.
“n-no. armin, it’s just…” his ocean blue eyes beckoned you to tell him more, you were so mesmerized by him.
you weren’t really sure what you wanted of him, your anxious thoughts were running miles in the comfort of your head, with no intentions of leaving soon.
“armin… what if we see jean at the race track?” you asked with those big doe eyes gazing up at him, he was so mesmerized by you.
bingo, armin thought. he knew that’s what you were worried about, he truly didn’t even have to ask you. he let out a snark laugh as he placed a hand behind the headrest of your seat, the cigarette hanging between the knuckles of his ring and middle fingers on the hand holding the wheel. your eyes were fixated on the cigarette, nerves apparent in your face. armin’s gaze softened at the sight of your bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. he didn't want to see those pretty pink lips of yours sad, not for the sake of any old bastard, with the exception of himself of course.
armin’s hand slides off the headset until his hand reaches your cheek, your eyes flutter shut at the sensation of his cold rings hitting your warm, blush-covered skin.
“armin…” your lips whispered into the callused palm of his hand. you looked up at him bashfully, you were so embarrassed of the effect he had on you. the smallest things drove you absolutely mad for him. the sky, now a fiery magenta, didn’t help the sensual tension between you two. you couldn’t possibly love each other in the way you wanted, you both knew that. my goodness, if the titans ever found out…
your breath hitches in your throat, your heart dropping as armin watched your eyes grow sad, tears beginning to well at the corners of your eyes. armin drags his thumb across your cheek, prepared to catch your tears as they fall. your hand reaches up to grab his, as you push it further into your cheek, leaning into his touch.
“armin, jean and the boys would flip this whole town upside down if they ever found out that we…”
“that we what?”
the blush on your cheeks deepened as armin forced you to realize your most intimate moment from an hour ago. you watch him smirk, cigarette back in his mouth, other hand steering the wheel gracefully.
“that- that we… kissed armin…”
armin adored the way his name sounded coming out of your mouth. it was so delicate, like you cherished every syllable, but yet you said it as if you longed for him, with passion, dripping with lust. you try to act so innocent for me darling, my pure little thing you, armin thought, his grip on the wheel tightened. he took one of your curls in his hand and wrapped it around his finger.
“armin, we can’t… we really shouldn’t…”
“shouldn’t what doll? say it.”
“we shouldn’t be together, you’ll get hurt, jean oughta get mad...”
armin’s jaw went rigid as he ground his teeth together. he squeezed the ringlet of your hair tight around his finger before letting it go and putting his hand back on the wheel. you felt the car speed up as armin slowly punched the gas with his foot. you look at him desperately, eyes pleading him to tell you what’s happening.
“a-armin, please slow down! we-"
“how many times do i have to tell you darling, the next time i see jean i won’t go easy on him.”
your hands fell to the handle of the door, holding on as armin went faster and faster, going far beyond the town speed limit.
“you don’t have to worry about me. how many times are you gonna mention good old jeany boy... in fact, i hope we see jean at the race track… i have a little gift for him, remember?” armin seethes through gritted teeth as he pulls the gold bracelet jean gave you out of his pocket and places it in your hand, before bringing your knuckles to his lips and kissing them sloppily.
“you hold on to that for me okay baby? keep it safe while i get us to the race track, we’ve gotta speed up or we might miss your little jeany boy yeah?”
you sensed an overwhelming amount of jealousy in armin’s voice, a new side to him exposing itself. you wrapped your fingers around the bracelet and stayed silent as he whipped you two to down the street.
“a-armin! where are you going? this isn’t the way… we’re headed straight for the-"
armin shuts you out as his fingers shake to turn up the volume of his stereo, music drowning out the sound of your pleas. your breath is shaky, the upbeat music feeling unsettling in this moment of chaos. the lyrics flooded your brain, pushing every other thought up to the surface.
Why does the rain fall from above?
Why do fools fall in love?
Why do they fall in love?
“armin, wait! you’re just gonna cause more trouble for us! why don’t you thi-"
Love is a losing game
Love can a be shame
the song grows louder, lyrics panging at your eardrums. your head whipped back and forth, shoulder banging into the window as armin turned a corner you knew all too well, your eyes opened wide when you realized where he was really taking you. your body jerked forward as he stopped abruptly at the end of the street, your hands instinctively finding an anchor on the dashboard of his car. your heart was about to break out of the confines of your chest.
“armin… why are you doing this? you’re gonna get yourself killed! can’t you see it?! god, think with your head… please!” passerby turned their heads to peak in the baby blue cadillac as you screamed at the top of your lungs, voice wrestling with the volume of the music. it was armin’s turn to look at you with tear-stained eyes.
“i’m tired of letting good things leave my life y/n! i’m not scared… o-of anything! i’m not running anymore.” his voice cracked through his screams, “and i’m sure as hell not scared of good ‘ol jeany boy sweetheart!” you looked on in pure disbelief and confusion as to what was happening, the cadillac felt like it was sinking into deep water and it was too late to open the windows.
“armin.. what the hell… are you going on about?!” you were panting with frustration and tired from screaming. god, you hate men.
armin grabbed his plastic comb from the chest pocket of his leather jacket, as his shaky hands ran the teeth of it through his hair. his foot began to ease its way down the gas slowly as you felt the car jolt forward again, your eyes widened in fear as you looked at the blonde boy.
“armin… armin, no. stop the car right now! don’t even think-"
armin’s hand cranked at the stereo, raising the volume to the max so the whole block could hear it.
I know of a fool
For that fool is me
armin revs the engine once, twice, three times. the metal inside the hood of the car rattling like it’s a bear that’s just woken up from hibernation. passerby are now stopped in their tracks and watching the situation unfold inside the car that was stopping traffic, sipping their drinks slowly as if they’ve got front row seats to a double feature. armin looks at you with wild eyes and smiles widely at you. has he gone crazy?
“let’s pay precious jeany boy a visit what do you say?!” he yells, his voice raspy and choppy as you watch his hand push the stick shift forward. he was gripping it so tight you would think he could crush it from the pressure of his hand alone.
your body propels backwards into your seat as he races you two to the end of the street where the titans’ car shop resides.
straight into the hands of the enemy.
“armin have you gone mad?!”
you watched as you see the familiar territory grow closer, jean's cherry red corvette is parked out front. you've never wanted to see starla less in your life.
within a flash you two had stopped right in front of the garage door, wide open so jean and the boys could get a good look at you two. armin revved his engine once more to get their attention. your heart stuttered in your chest as your eyes met jean's. he was wearing a tight white cotton shirt, covered in grease and sweat, and had a dirty rag over his shoulder. you looked at him in bewilderment, you couldn't think of a single possible thing to say to him in this moment. your mouth hung open, voice haltering in fear of the unknown. what the hell was going through his mind right now?
"jean please, just-"
"y/n, get out of that damn car right now. the hell are you doing with this scum?!"
you gasped at his cockiness, "jean! how dare you talk to me like-"
armin snickered from the driver's seat and looked jean dead in the eyes.
"can't even sweet talk your own girl huh jeany boy? how've you been?! it's been what... 6... 7 hours since we first met... an anniversary!" armin drawled through gritted teeth. his eyes narrowed at jean, asserting his dominance on his territory. jean jumped at the car and smacked his hands at the bottom of your window, fingers balled into fists. jean chocked up a wad of saliva and spit it on the ground before letting out a sarcastic laugh.
"are you trying to tango barbie?" jean narrowed his eyes back at armin with a smirk on his face. armin scoffed as he lit up another cigarette, taking his time before giving jean the satisfaction of a response.
"...and what if i am, daddy-o?"
both jean and your faces dropped at armin's choice of words. your mouth hung wide at the fact that he just called jean kirschtein, head of the titans, daddy-o, on his own goddamn turf.
"a-armin-" you stumbled as you tried to stop him.
"...i think it's time we settle this fair and square yeah jeany?" armin takes a drag of his marlboro, "last i checked it takes two to tango but you had all of three of your goons on me! what? afraid you might eat dirt if we just dance ourselves?"
you remembered how armin's voice was breaking just minutes ago, screaming to you in frustration, nearly crying at the wheel. well not an ounce of his voice was faltering now. you had confidence he could win this, you looked down at your skirt and smirked evilly, silently supporting your blonde knight.
"oh you've done it now barbie... be at the race track in an hour... that's your favorite spot isn't it? w-what do you go there so you can cry alone?"
was jean kirschtein... stumbling on his words?
"and what if i do? heard a bird loves it when a man can cry, maybe that's why i've got yours in my caddy right now!" armin growled. your eyes widened as your smirked turn into a burst of laughter, my my, armin was quite the clever stud. jean looked at you in shock, you'd just stabbed him in his broken heart.
"in an hour smartass," jean seethed and slammed his hand on the window sill one last time, leaving a print of grease on armin's tan leather.
"scum better clean that up," he muttered.
you looked at armin in disbelief at what he'd just done.
"can it baby, i'm doing this for me. i get you're worried... thank you. haven't had many people worry about me in my life, especially not angels like you... but you gotta understand me when i say this..." you watched armin's pretty pinks move as he spoke to you, looking ahead at the road as you two shot out of the titans' car shop.
"...i'm doing this for me. i'm not letting him walk all over me, i'm not gonna let him stake his claim on you like... like you-like you're some piece of meat! i'm done letting good things go from my life."
"armin... what does that mean?" you whispered. he looks at you questioningly.
"that's the second time you've said that now... that-that you're done letting good things leave your life." you watched as his knuckles tensed around the steering wheel, he takes a long drag of his cigarette.
"i got the shit kicked out of me today doll," he laughs, "i-i got the shit kicked out me! ha!" he looks over at you with a bright smile but you can only look on in confusion as to what he was going on about. he puts his arm back behind the headrest of your seat, grazing his fingers along the back of your neck through the hole.
"...i got the shit kicked out me and-and normally i would've left. i would've said... forget this crap! and left, again, like i always do..."
his cool blue eyes warmed up a little as you watched him sort out his sentences in his mind.
"...my parents left, and i let them," his breath hitched in his throat, "i loved them man... shiieeet," he drawled, trying to laugh off the clear sadness in his voice.
"everything was so good... i wasn't a bad kid you know. i-i was a damn good kid, didn't drink, didn't smoke until they left."
your eyes were clouded with sympathy, no child deserves that.
"my father started drinkin'... i said-shit, you wanna know what I said? i said... daddy, are you tired? ha! what stupid kid i was."
you wanted to console him, tell him something, anything, to make him feel better. but something in you told you that armin just needed to talk, he needed to talk to someone. so he could finally stop running.
"one of the last things my father told me before he left was- he said... you gotta defend yourself son! you're a runt ya hear me? so you gotta work extra hard to make sure people don't step on ya..."
armin scoffed as he raised his hands up and smacked them back down on the steering wheel in disbelief.
"... guess what i did y/n..." he said your name weakly, "...i ran... once my dad left, my mom followed the minute i turned 18, she didn't have it in her to stay... so i ran, and i kept running, the hell else was i s'posed to do?... i haven't stayed in one place for more than a few months for the last three years..." his voice trailed off as you two came upon the familiar dirt road that led to the abandoned race track. you rolled your window down and stuck your arm out, leaning your head against your tricep as you looked at yourself in the sideview mirror.
"armin i'm-i'm very sorry you-"
"every town i've skipped to i've left, i can't make anything last i-i meet good people and i let them go!" he scoffs, "nothing... no one has ever made me want to stay anywhere." the caddy shakes up and down at the irregularities of the dirt road. armin's eyes are faced ahead, one of his hands gripped the wheel as the other fumbled with his necklace. was he nervous?
"but then i met you today and... dammit y/n i'm taken with you!" armin confesses as he comes to a stop at a secluded corner of the race track. he rests his forehead on the wheel and continues speaking in whispers.
"you are... something else. i didn't think i'd make it a week here after i got into that fight with the titans... but then god sent you out the back door of rosie's... all frustrated and annoyed at the world in your little apron..." his voice trailed off as the blush on your cheeks deepened.
"yeah? so you like me huh? tell me about it," you teased, you brought a hand to the back of armin's neck and gave it a loving squeeze. he lifted his head off of the steering wheel, finding the courage to look at you after giving his corny confession. he takes your hand from his neck and brings it to his lips, he kisses the palm of your hand and whispers,
"y/n, you make me wanna stay. i wanna stay for you, everyone else in this town can screw off... especially that old rat miss anna."
the biggest smile creeps it's way onto your cheeks and quickly grows into the hardest laughter you've experienced in your life.
"n-not even... good 'ol j-jeany bo-y h-huh?" you stammered, "silly m-miss anna? ha! i can't believe it blondie!"
armin begins to laugh with you, you two roll around in the seats of his caddy, hands holding onto your stomachs to subside your laughter.
"you're absolutely mad armin arlert!"
"you make me this way doll..."
you two grow silent, you fumble with the hem of your skirt as armin fiddles with the rings on his fingers.
"so that's it? you're gonna let a guy confess his feelings for you then leave him high and dry huh? oh, you're a bad one birdie," armin teases.
"surely you saw my face turn into a tomato armin..." you laugh, "... and i don't think any old bird that wasn't taken with you would let you drive her around like a mad man all day!" armin smirks at your choice of words as he leans in close to you so you could feel his smoky breath on your face.
"so you're taken with me then huh?" you watched as the last bit of sun sparkled around in his eyes, as the evening slowly turned into night, the sky being painted a deep blue. your breath hitched in your throat as your hands tangled themselves in your skirt, thighs squeezing them together tight.
"there you go blondie, makin' a girl all nervous again, would you stop that!?"
"stop what?" he smirks, you watch his earring dangle as he lets out a low, throaty chuckle.
"stop looking at me the way you do! it drives me crazy..." you said, almost out of breath, "...of course i'm taken with you armin. you were the prettiest thing to me the minute i saw you..."
"i guess we're both a little crazy then eh? does jean get crazy with you dove?" his hand comes to meet the soft skin of your cheek, he feels them ablaze under his touch.
"armin... if i'm gonna kiss you again i don't want to hear another word about jean!" your eyes widen in shock at what you just admitted to armin. you wanted to kiss him again. he shines his pearly whites at you with that calculating grin of his.
"screw that bastard, i wanna kiss you more than anything in the world."
armin takes your face in his and runs his thumb over your bottom lip softy, eyes fixated on your mouth. you looked at him with such longing, such need. you wanted a taste of this forbidden love, one that would wreck your relationship with the titans, blacklisting you from town, and throw you to the side as you fell hard for the traitor that flipped this shithole upside down in the first place.
"armin..." you whispered softly and kissed the tip of his thumb.
"what is it darling? use your words."
you removed your hands from their place on your skirt and ran them through his blonde locks ever so gently. he looked at you like you were the only thing left in the world that would keep him alive.
"armin i wanna do it again. please, kiss me."
without hesitation armin swept you into his arms and pulled you onto his lap. you were sat on his thighs while your legs swung over to the passenger seat, your back leaning against his window. you laced your right arm around his neck and used the other to caress his cheek. he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into him, resting his forehead against yours.
"armin..." you whispered breathlessly.
"i know dove, i know."
his tongue licked at your lips gently, wanting to savor every minute with you. your lips crashed into his as you pulled his mouth into yours. your lips fit together like puzzle pieces, made for no one else but each other. doo-wop played softly from the stereo as you two got drunk off of one another's taste, tongues moving in a perfect symphony. armin pulled away from you out breath and eager to please you.
"i wanna try something pretty, just rest your head on my shoulder," he whispered against your lips. you nodded feverishly as you tucked your head into his neck. armin's hand gathered the end of your skirt and pushed it up your legs slowly, bringing it from your calves up to your mid-thigh. you watched with hunger as you tucked your bottom lip between your teeth.
"you okay pretty?" armin asks you before he goes any further. you look into his eyes and whisper a mess of yes's and "please," as you brought him back in for a hard kiss. he pushes your head back into his shoulder before trailing his fingers up and down your bare legs, you've never exposed yourself this much to anyone before. you shudder as armin continues to tickle your virgin skin with his fingers. you're a little confused when armin brings his hand up to your face and taps your lips with his middle and ring fingers.
"hm?" you question quietly.
"open darling," you do as he says as armin gently presses his fingers onto your tongue.
"suck them for me pretty," he asks you in a slightly dominant tone. armin's eyes darken as he watches your soft lips wrap around his fingers, innocently licking and sucking at them. like the good little dolly you are for me huh, he thought. he slides them out gently before placing a sweet kiss on your forehead. armin brings his hand back down to your thighs, teasing your skirt up a little bit further. he was inching closer to your clothed heat, dripping with lust for him, before your breath stopped in your chest.
"oh armin, i... i've never done anything like this before. i- i'm so embarrassed i-" you stutter bashfully into armin's chest, you hid your face from him in his jacket, much too red to look at him. he shushes you sweetly.
"hey, 's okay, i'm gonna take good care of you alright?" he awaits your response. noticing you're not budging from the nook of his jacket he lifts your chin up so you can meet his eyes.
"i need you to use your words baby, 'm not gonna do anything you don't want," he whispers.
"gosh, i'm red as a tomato armin.." you look at up him nervously, he smiles down at you like you're the sweetest thing he's ever seen.
"armin i-i really want you to take care of me."
armin places one last wet kiss to your lips before coating his fingers in saliva once more, this time sticking his fingers in his mouth, as he begins to trail down to your core. your body naturally arches into him, you've never wanted something... or someone so badly.
your body shudders as armin begins to rub small circles over your clothed clit. you bring a hand to your mouth as you nuzzle into his neck and try to stifle the foreign noises you were making. armin stops moving his fingers as you let out a whine.
"hey, don't hide yourself from me, i wanna hear how happy i make you darling," armin coos as he takes your faces from out of his neck and places a sloppy kiss to your cheek, before leaning your head back against the window so he could have a good view of you.
"open baby," you do as he says.
"suck," you do as he says.
your body begins to respond to him perfectly, giving him exactly what he wants out of you. you swirl him around on your tongue once more before he moves his fingers back down to your panties.
"getting impatient are we doll?" armin snickers before slipping himself under your panties, finally feeling what he's been aching to this whole time. your folds are wet and needy for armin's touch, he let's out a sharp breath when he feels how slick you've gotten for him. you reach a hand to into his hair and tug on it lazily, head too dazed by your dirty thoughts to do much more.
"you're so plump and ready to take my fingers doll," he whispers as he fixes his gaze hungrily on where his hand meets your soft pussy lips. "yes armin, yes, yes, yes, i'm so ready for you. please, take care of me..." you beg as you roll your head back against the window, squirming so eagerly over what little touch armin has given you. armin chuckles before inching one finger into your needy hole. your eyes roll back as your grip on armin's hair grows tighter.
"wow darling, shit, you're very tight," armin slowly circles his finger around, familiarizing himself with your walls before he inches in his ring finger to meet his other one inside of you. your head swings forward and your eyes squeeze shut at the sensation, "oh! armin, that feels really good!" you gawk at the pleasure, your thighs squeezing around his hand. armin admires your beautiful face, all cute and contorted into something so filthy from just his touch. he slowly begins to pump his fingers in and out of you, your hips instinctively jutting up into his hands. you're a moaning mess on top of him, with your legs spread all pretty onto his passenger seat. armin's cock goes hard at the sight of you, sprawled across his tan italian leather seats, skirt hitched up to your waist, cardigan coming slightly undone, leaving your print in his car forever. knowing he was the first man to ever do something like this to you drove his fingers to move faster inside of you.
"does that feel good dove?" armin asks feverishly, "do my fingers feel good?" you moan softly against the window, "ngh... y-yes armin." your hot breath fogged up the glass, while you drunkenly nodded your head at the pleasure. you feel that familiar pit in your stomach begin to form like earlier, this was the second time today you were coming undone on armin's lap. armin feels you clench around his fingers as he curves up into your g-spot, your eyes crossing at the new sensation. "oh! baby... i think i'm gonna...ngh, please!"
"go ahead dove, let go for me,' armin whispers into your ear as his fingers ravish your sore pussy. you grab ahold of the wrist that was working at you so intently and squeeze it tight, holding armin's fingers into you as you rub your clit against his palm, hips rising off of his thighs. armin turns your face to him and holds your chin while your reach your high, set on watching your face while you cum. your thighs begin to shake and close on hands.
"armin yes, yes, yes, please, please-fu-oh yes!" your legs shake violently as you came onto armin's hand, your sloppy juices trickling between his knuckles. armin begins to move slowly before pulling out, coaxing you gently down from your high. he wipes your bangs from your forehead, and blows on it to cool you down.
"how was that doll?"
"mm... it was really good," you whimper into his lips as his kisses you so delicately, gentle for you and you only. your knees gather at your chest as you return to straddling him, placing sloppy kisses all over his face. you ran your fingers down his chest before pressing your hands down on his lower abdomen, pushing a low moan out of armin's lips.
"i wanna do you now armin," you mumble bashfully, sticking your head into his neck. he smirks and squeezes your sides lightly.
"what was that darling?" armin teases you, tracing his fingernails up and down your back as you cover your cheeks with your hands.
"i said... i wanna do you now, 's my turn for me to take care of you. i just... i don't know how," you feel heat rising back to your cheeks.
"well, what would you like to do baby?" armin whispers, now running his fingertips up and down your arms. you don't know how to say it. you're so embarrassed and you don't know to say that you'd like to do it with armin.
"g-god armin, i- i think i want you... like that."
this calculating bastard.
"mm armin..." you whine.
"nu-uh tell me what you want pretty..." he looks you in the eyes softly and runs his hands back through your hair, "don't wanna do anything you don't want."
with your arms laced around his neck and your foreheads pressed together, you take a deep breath, "i want you to make love to me armin arlert... please... make me your girl. i wanna be yours completely."
armin's aching cock throbbed at your begging, he could rip your skirt in two and pound into you violently right there, but he wanted to take his time. you weren't any other girl to him. you were a girl he wanted to stick around for, the odds of the world stacked against you, he wanted to cherish every moment you two were connected. so he kissed your forehead lightly and rubbed his thumbs over your cheeks.
"m gonna take care of you okay dove?" your hands went to tangle themselves in his as you gave them a reaffirming squeeze.
"be gentle with me please, i-i haven't done this-"
"i know, okay? i know. i'll be gentle with you always... i'll take care of you always... you won't ever want for anything i'll make sure of that..."
your heart swelled at his words, you crashed into him and peppered his face with kisses, this complete dream of a man was yours. armin caught your face in his hands and kissed you deeply, hands moving slowly down your neck, stopping at your breasts. you grabbed his face in your hands and uttered softly, "armin... it's okay, i'm not as fragile as you think i am... please, touch me." you placed your hands over his and brought them down to your chest, he squeezed your clothed breasts between his hands as his breath hitched in his throat and you emitted a small moan.
"shit darling, you'll be the death of me i swear."
your lips crashed into one another as armin reached down to the belt buckle of his pants and you hiked your skirt back up to your waist. both of your movements were quick and needy, neither of you ever longing for another person this much before. armin took his lips off yours momentarily, a string of saliva connecting your panting bodies as he looked at you, "if you wanna stop at any poi-"
you shut him up with a messy kiss, your hands moved down to his pants to place yours on top of his.
"armin... just take me already," you begged.
armin nods ferociously as he works to release his cock from his pants, you watch with hungry eyes as it smacks upwards against his white top. you take a big gulp as you look at... it. you'd never seen one outside of pictures before, it had a pretty pink tip with little veins trailing up the shaft.
"w-what do i do armin?" you look down at him from your position on his lap with innocent doe eyes. armin pumps his cock slowly at the sight of you so eager to do well for him, that's my girl, he thinks.
"you don't do anything, let me take care of you okay? i'll guide your hips dove," armin whispers lovingly as he places a hand under your chin to get one last good look at the pretty face he was about to destroy. you nodded and placed a wet kiss to his mouth, tugging on his bottom lip as you pulled away. armin brings his palm up to your mouth and gazes at you with dark eyes.
"spit on it," he demands.
"a-armin the whole thing-"
"go on," he pushes his palm upwards to you, you do as he says and let a bead of saliva fall from your mouth onto his palm.
you take armin's wrist in your hands and push his palm downwards so you have a better angle, you gather all the spit you could in your mouth and let it cover his palm, saliva slowly gathering at the middle where it dips slightly.
"atta girl," you feel your core flutter at his praises for you. you watch as he brings his spit-covered hand down to his cock, and begins to rub your saliva up and down it in slow strokes.
"why would you-"
"it'll help it fit better okay baby? it'll be tight the first time but i'll help you through it," he coos at you, cock dripping with pre-cum at the sound of your innocent voice asking questions. you silently hummed in agreement as he looks at you one last time for reassurance, you give him a devilish grin.
"do it already blondie."
armin takes your hips in his hands and positions you above his crotch, "hold onto my shoulders doll." you do as he says and he positions his cock at your entrance, rubbing the tip up and down your folds lightly. you hug his neck and hide your head in his shoulder as you moan. the vibration of your voice against his neck drives armin mad, he's absolutely crazy for you. you feel armin begin to lower your hips down on to him and you bite into his neck softly.
"you okay?" he asks softly, lifting your head from his shoulder to look at you. he immediately smirks at your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth hanging open at the feeling of just his tip in you. "mm hm," you respond as your hips jut into his.
"wanna do more?"
"open your eyes doll, wanna get a good look at you while you take me so nice."
your eyes flutter open at armin's request, he pushes your hips down a little bit further and lets out a dark moan at the sight of your eyes crossing.
"m-more, please," you beg, "fuck pretty girl, okay." armin pushes you down to the hilt of his cock and hums in pleasure at the feeling of you squeezing around him completely. your hands move slowly to push his leather jacket down his shoulders, "wanna hold onto you while you move me baby," you whisper as tears pricked at your eyes.
"okay doll, tell me when you want me to move," armin wipes his thumb across your forehead, moving your hair out of your face as he watches you intently, waiting to see your face change from a look of discomfort to comfort, "you're doing so well for me baby, so, so well, okay?" his thumbs rub softly at your hips, "okay? we don't have to do anything yet, just get used to the feeling of each other yeah?" you bite your lip as you nod your head slowly, focusing on adjusting to the size of armin's length. "hey..." he takes your chin between his thumb and pointer finger and brings you close to kiss him, "...you're doing so good. let's just stay like this a minute."
"okay," you whimpered, your lips moved slowly in time together, your hands moving from armin's shoulders to tangle themselves in his hair. you sat there like that, kissing each other fervently as you took armin's cock inside of you, letting the stereo play.
"alright ladies and gentlemen next on tonight's top 40 we have "i'm a fool to want you" by frank sinatra."
I'm a fool to want you
to want a love that can't be true...
"armin?" you called softly, your head was resting on his chest, you feel his cock twitch inside of you at the sound of you calling his name. he trails his fingers up and down your back, as you let out a deep breath.
"are you... are you scared?"
"of what darling?"
"what jean might do to you?" you felt your lip begin to quiver and felt your voice become shaky, "i know you told me to shut up about him b-but, my heart aches at the thought of you getting hurt..." you scrunch his shirt up in your fist, armin exhales and rests his cheek on the top of your head.
I'm a fool to hold you
Such a fool to hold you
To seek a kiss not mine alone
"well... darling it's inevitable that i'll get hurt, i don't know what he's planning to throw at me... i asked for a fair fight let's hope he gives me one okay?" you sniffled and feel the tears that you'd been holding begin to roll down your cheeks.
"a-armin, you-you're gonna get hurt real bad because of me... this was a mistake, we're stupid for thinking we c-could be together. ar-armin... i was a mistake, i'm no good for you baby... 'm just a thorn in y-your side 'n you kn-know it," you cried into his chest. you cried and cried babbling like a baby while armin caressed you gently.
"you look at me y/n."
"you look at me goddamit!" he takes your chin and forces you to look at him. you were drowning in his blues eyes as he glared you, you feel yourself clench around him as you react to his rigid tone of voice.
"you are no thorn in my side, you're a godsend, a fucking angel. do you hear me?"
"mm hm," you cry.
"do you believe me when i say that?"
"a-armin i-i don't know..."
armin looks at you with heavy eyes, "you are a fucking angel, and you make me wanna stay here and become a better man than i've been. what can i do to make you believe me baby?" he grabs your face in his hands and shakes you, as if he was trying to shake you awake and make you realize that his words were honest and true. you place your hands on his cheeks and look him dead in the eyes.
"you can take me like i'm your angel armin."
armin's eyes go dark in realization at what you were insinuating. his hands grasp your hips tightly under your skirt as he finally begins to move you up and down on his cock. "oh-oh fuck baby!" you whisper into his lips. armin moves your body up and down like you're a rag doll, you begin to bounce on your knees once armin sets the rhythm, his head rolls back into the headrest as he sees you working yourself on his cock.
"f-uck baby, just like that, you're doing a-mazing."
his hands push your hips back and forth, moving your body feverishly on top of him, helping you keep your pace up.
"mm, wanna go faster armin..."
armin's knuckles turn white as he grips your waist harder and lifts you up just above him. you hold on to the back of his seat tightly as armin begins to thrust up into you, your eyes rolled back at the sensation, eyelids fluttering as if you were drunk on the feeling.
"a-armin o-oh my g-god," you moans were broken with every thrust up into you as your body jolted forward. the cadillac was rocking back and forth as you two desperately fucked into one another, begging to release. you trail your hands under armin's shirt and push down onto his chest, "ar-min i-i'm gonna..."
"m-me t-too, d-doll... go a-head a-and cum f-for me a-angel," he pants into your chest. you take his face and make him look at you, you want him to do one last thing for you before you reach your high.
"p-promise me y-you'll b-beat his a-ass..."
armin snickers as he feels a wave of dominance wash over him, he grabs your hips and lifts you up further as he drills into you relentlessly. you choke on your breath as the sound of your moans overwhelm the car.
"you b-better b-believe it baby. y-you're a fu-cking angel. y-you're my f-fucking angel."
the sound of the cadillac creaking back and forth reaches the other end of the racetrack as armin takes you as his girl. you two kiss each other passionately, chasing your high together.
"t-tell me you're m-my girl," armin growls into your lips.
"i-i'm yours armin! ngh! please, i'm your girl!
"you're my pretty girl yeah?"
"y-yes i'm y-your pretty girl armin. 'm all yours, 's all for y-you."
you scream and push your hand up into the ceiling of the car, bracing yourself as you cum on armin's cock, body shaking violently on top of him. armin pulls you down and hugs you into his body tight as he chases his high next.
"m gonna cum darling."
"cum armin, please."
armin whispers sweet nothings into your ear as he holds you to his chest and fucks the last of his cum into you, your bodies thrashing in each other's arms.
I know it's wrong, it must be wrong
But right or wrong I can't get along
"the time is now 8:35 p.m. cool cats and kittens, that was "i'm a fool to want you," by frank sinatra."
you lay limp in each other's arms, in a comfortable silence as you traced circles onto his chest, awaiting the arrival of the titans.
"any minute now..." you whisper.
"i'll be okay..." armin rubs your back gently trying to console you, he noticed your breathing has gotten uneasy.
"you'll be okay..." you repeat.
your head jumps off of armin's chest as you hear a bunch of cars revving their engines from the dirt road that lead you two here.
he smirks at you, "let the tango begin baby."
you tossed yourself back into the passenger seat of armin's car after what felt like hours, your heartbeat already growing stronger. your bring your hand up to your face and start to pick at the skin on your fingers with your teeth when you feel armin take your hand in his.
"hey, i'll be okay, remember?"
your eyes couldn't help but glass over with tears as you watched jean and the titans begin to drive their cars in circles around armin's cadillac, revving their engines, hanging out the windows while screaming and cheering jean on.
"you got this jean!"
"teach pretty boy a lesson!"
"beat barbie's ass kirschtein!"
you were visibly anxious, your nerves overwhelming your body. your hands were shaking, you were tugging at your clothes, hell, you might even start crying all over again. the glare of the car headlights swarmed around you while you were suffocating, beads of sweat accumulating on your forehead. you looked over to armin who was stoic as ever, showing no signs of emotion, eyes straight on his target- jean. you watched the brown-haired boy get out of his car in his best leather, he never pulled out that jacket for just anything. he walked over to armin's cadillac with an obnoxious swagger to his step, running his comb through his pompadour in confidence. clearly he was given the motivational talk he needed to go through with this.
jean's feet stopped right in front of the car, headlights glaring right on him. you and armin sat, one of his hands on the wheel, the other on your thigh, as you waited for jean to do something.
"alright barbie! let's dance!" jean shouted as he put his comb away, both his and armin's bruises were still fresh from earlier, just two pretty faces stained in purple and red.
"armin, you know you don't have to go through with this-"
"here... hold my jacket sweetheart, keep it warm for me while i deal with this scum," he shrugs his jacket off and puts it over your shoulders. you watched jean's eyes tense with an overwhelming anger as he watched his rival officially claim you as his girl.
armin gets out of the car slowly, black boots meeting the paved raceway. the titans cooed at him mockingly.
"hey barbie! are all of your parts plastic?"
"blondie's got a storm coming!"
armin stood with a straight face, taking their insults like water off a ducks back. he balled his fists at his sides as he walked up to jean, standing feet away from him with a cigarette hanging from his lips. armin takes a nice, long drag.
"alright jeany boy! let's get this over with nice and fair yeah? put your paws up pretty i've got a girl to take out to dinner."
armin throws his cigarette on the ground and stomps it out with his foot. jean's not even looking at him, he's looking straight at you. with your messy hair, lipstick rubbed clean off, the first few buttons of your cardigan undone, jean knew exactly what happened between you two before he arrived. seeing you ravished for the first time by another man that wasn't him made him livid, all of his common sense and knowledge of fair play flying out the window. and of all people... the guy that just got here, what did he have that jean didn't? jean has been trying to go steady with you since the day he met you, you just never picked up on his advances, always seeing him as sweet jeany boy. he thought he was real close to having you, until he showed up. you came to armin's defense this morning, and questioned jean's motives, you made an enemy of jean the minute you pulled his strawberry shake off the table. your ties were cut, and he couldn't care less about you, every bird in town wanted a piece of jean and you got the most slices, you just didn't finish any of them. and jeany boy, if he heard that name one more time he'd snap. god that name made him foam at the mouth, every time someone says it he just imagines it coming out of your lips. his brain nearly exploded when armin started calling him that... and as he watches you through the windshield of armin's car, as you put your arms through the sleeves of armin's jacket, well, that was the icing on the cake for jean.
jean didn't care if armin wanted to tango, because he was about to turn this fight into a whole flash mob.
so jean faked innocence, putting his fists up to his face, mirroring armin's movements, the two running circles around each other.
in. jab. out. duck. in. swing. out. jump.
armin was fast, his feet floating across the pavement as if he was walking on air, he dodged every single one of jean's hits. but jean, boy did his punch have power. you flinched every time his knuckles came close to armin's face, his hands were on the brink of crushing the blonde boy, but armin didn't falter. he has a girl to take out to dinner, he said. your heart fluttered as his words repeated themselves in your head. you snapped out of your dreamlike state when you see jean's body fling backwards. armin had landed a punch.
armin just landed a punch.
it was a mean one too, you hung your body out of armin's car as you sat in the open window on your side, a smile spreading on your face. you didn't think you'd see the day where you'd actually be happy to see jean kirschtein take a hit to his pretty face. you couldn't believe it. jean leaned up on his elbows and spit some blood out of his mouth as he caught sight of you screaming armin's name, a warm blush flooding onto your cheeks. something in him clicked, a switch flipped in his head as he was quick to redirect his anger. jean swiftly jumped up on his feet and began to walk right to you. your face dropped. the hell was he doing.
"hey y/n! you used to be quite the pretty thing didn't you?" jean spat at you as the distance between you grew smaller. you scoffed and rolled your eyes as you pulled the remainder of your body out of your spot in the window, standing your ground in front of jean.
"the hell's that s'posed to mean jean?"
"it means you're no good to me anymore, meaning you're no good to the titans anymore," your eyes watered at his words.
"you're just being downright mean jean!" you cried.
'hey! jeany boy, your fight's with me... leave her out of it," armin pushed jean's back, beckoning him to redirect his energy to him.
"you..." jean's voice trailed off as he pointed his finger angrily at you, "you- you used to be the pick of the crop, the prettiest bird i ever did see!" your nose scrunched up in anger, but it was competing with your quivering lips, trying to maintain your fierce demeanor as you stared jean down.
"...but- ha! you're just used goods now aren't you darling?" you're body flinched as jean's hands grabbed at the collar of your cardigan, ripping the rest of the buttons down, exposing your bare chest to all of the titans, bra clinging to your skin now burning hot in embarrassment.
"jean! what's the matter with you?" you screamed as you landed a harsh smack to his right cheek, you ripped the gold bracelet out of armin's jacket pocket and threw it on the ground in front of you. he slowly turned his face back to you with a devilish smirk.
"what's the matter with me baby? what's the matter with you?" he snickered. you were in hysterics, mascara streaming down your cheeks, chest a bright cherry red.
"hey! daddy-o! is this how you fight like a man? you go and harass the closest bird you see?! you're no man... now get your filthy fucking mitts off of my girl... and fight me kirschtein..." armin growled as he pounced at jean's back, arms clinging around his neck as he choked out your ex-lover gone sour. jean's hands gripped armin's arms, knuckles turning white trying to loosen the grasp he had on him. all the titans looked on in uneasiness at the situation unfolding, you heard jean try to utter something under his breath. but you couldn't make it out... what was he saying?
your eyes squinted as you tried to read his lips.
"do i-it now..."
do what now? armin... armin! your eyes widened in realization.
armin's gaze shoots to your body when you feel a strong set of arms link themselves around yours as the shadowed figure holds something cold to your neck. sliding it across your skin ever so softly, you see a small line of blood trickle down between your cleavage as you realized what was happening.
"i'd keep that pretty mouth shut if i were you... i don't wanna hurt you..."
"c-connie! you're kidding right?! this isn't you... you can't keep letting jean take advantage of you like this! you've never even hurt a fly connie now let me go before i laugh!" you spat at the boy with the buzzcut that had you pinned to his chest.
"why'd you betray us y/n?" connie's voice softened.
"this gang stuff is silly connie and you know i think that, i know you think that. i'm not explaining myself to you!" you said as you thrashed in his grasp. this boy wasn't gonna hurt you. his grasp faltered slightly, as you both watched the rest of the titans circle around armin and jean, smacking baseball bats into the palms of their hands, flipping switchblades between their fingers. you feel connie's grip tighten around you... almost as if he was protecting you.
“if i let you go y/n then you run straight into the action, i'm sorry but i cant let you kill yourself like that..." connie whispered into the back of your head.
"c-connie... you have to let me go help armin..."
your eyes swelled with salty tears as you saw that armin was no longer in your line of sight, his slender body was overpowered by the titans in their matching leather jackets, bodies tall and dark. you let your tears fall as you twisted in connie's arms, trying to get his grip to loosen.
"AR-ARMIN!" your scream was blood-curdling as it echoed across the racetrack.
"let this be a lesson to you little bird..." you hear jean's voice fester with loathing and jealousy. you blinked tears out of your eyes as you watched the titans slowly make a path way out of their bodies, just enough so you could see armin standing in the middle of the crowd. his arms were up and guarding his face, his feet dancing within the confines of the circle.
"...next time you think about having play time with the enemy, hold this image in your heart fondly...
jean emitted a high pitched whistle through his teeth, signaling for the titans to move in on armin. your eye's clouded with terror as you watch armin's drive stutter, his stance cowering in a fear only you could notice, in that moment a switch flipped inside of you. he said he'd be okay...
he said he'd be okay.
"ARMIN ARLERT! YOU BETTER STAY ALIVE YOU BLONDE BASTARD! YOU HAVE TO TAKE ME TO DINNER!"
armin's eyes lit up as they connected with your teary ones one last time. your heart filled with butterflies as he gave you a bloodied smirk and winked in your direction before the titans crowded his body. a blow landed to armin's back with a baseball bat, his body staggering forward. armin turned and swung his fists left and right, throwing punches swiftly at anything and anyone he could get his hands on, a few of jean's men falling back. your eyes winced as you watched armin's body be thrown back and forth, blood spewing out of the charismatic lips that were once on yours so gently. the hands that took care of you so well were covered in the blood of other men as he took a hold of one of their switchblades and slashed around like he was in a horror flick. armin was beaten badly, you could feel connie wincing behind you, he was never one for the fighting.
"connie... let me go! i have to help him!"
armin was curled up on the ground, eyes swollen, lips busted, biceps battered. you cried violently as you watched blood seep through his white t-shirt. was he gonna die? oh no, no, no. i have to hold him.
"y/n you know i can't do that..." he responded weakly, all of the blood and violence obviously getting to his head. you looked up at him with desperate eyes, you knew he didn't want to be doing this, he knew it too.
"unless..." your ears perked up at his change of tone, "...unless i just happened to pass out."
"connie..." you looked up at him with gratitude in your eyes, your heart ached for the innocent boy, he was too sweet for jean's antics, "...you're so much better than them."
that was the last thing you said to connie before his hands loosened their grip on your arms and he fell to the ground. wow, he could be the next james dean, you thought.
your eyes snapped to his limp body, as you watched him give you a small wink before going back to playing dead. your eyes fixated on the mess in front of you as you bolted forward without a thought in the world except for saving armin.
god, where are you blondie?
you thrashed your way through the sweaty bodies, your skirt slowly being caked in blood and dirt as you searched for a familiar blonde mop top.
"armin where are you..." your voice cracked with nerves, you didn't even want to imagine how you would find armin, you just knew you wanted to find him.
and hold him.
and kiss him.
you pushed, pulled, and ducked your way through the maze of brawling bodies when you saw him. he was on his last legs, breathing slow, shaky hands barely fending off the strikes anymore, but you found him.
"ar-armin!" you reached an arm out to him as he looked up at you with those beautiful blues. how could they still glow so bright even when he was like this? he smirked at you from his position hunched over on the ground as he coughed up blood, broken hand clutching to his neck. you tried to squeeze your way through two heavy men as he reached a shaky hand out to you. even within the chaos, your eyes were only locked on one another, you didn't care about everyone else out to get you, you just wanted to hold each other's hands. you smiled brightly at him, your face being a pillar a light in the cloud of darkness that hung over armin's head.
"y-y/n..." armin croaked out to you, tired smile on his cheeks.
you were about to be in each other's arms once more, you didn't care if you died in the crossfire, you just wanted to be holding him while the storm swarmed around you.
"armin! a-armin i've got yo-"
your breath hitched in your throat as you felt a sharp pain in your right side, the only thing you could focus on in that moment was armin being only feet away from you.
"Y/N!" your lover screamed your name like his life depended on it.
and he screamed and screamed and screamed for you.
you looked down to see a pool of blood seeping through to the bottom of your skirt.
"a-armin..." you tried to call out to him but he was already crawling over to you. you fall to your knees as you meet him on the ground, both of you doubled over in a pain like you've never felt before.
"shit man! you fucking stabbed the girl?!"
"i-i didn't m-mean to... sh-shit! she-she-she got caught in the crossfire i swear!"
"we've got to get the hell out of here..."
"we've got to move out! everyone head back to the shop!"
"hey, hey, hey, is she okay?"
"i don't fucking know man th-this is crazy, i've never done shit like this in my life!"
"i-i can't believe this... forgive me father... forgive me..."
the voices around you drowned out as you looked into armin’s eyes, you clutched your stomach with your hand, now coated in the slick of your blood. armin’s eyes grew teary as he looked at you. this wasn’t happening, he thought, this must be a dream. he brought a shaky hand up to your cheek as he took deep breaths with you.
armin laid you down, though beaten to the core himself, he put pressure onto your wound as he laid his hand on top of yours. it couldn’t be that bad, right? it was just a switchblade... those don’t cut deep. it was just a switchblade, right? you could see armin’s thoughts racking his mind as you brought your free hand to his face. his cheek bone was turning a deep purple, his eyes were nearly swollen shut, his nose looked like it had been broken, and his bottom lip was oozing blood. you wiped away one of his falling tears with your thumb as he grabbed your hand and kissed it softly.
“i'll be okay... ‘s not that deep...” you comforted him, trying to win power over his intrusive thoughts.
“you don’t look too hot yourself... blondie... do y-you see m-me crying tough guy?”
armin let out a breathy laugh as you picked on him going all soft for you. he needed to be strong in a moment like this. he sure as hell couldn’t let his angel fall, it was too soon for that.
i'm gonna take care of you...
you won’t ever want for anything...
armin’s words of devotion to you crowded his mind, he promised you all of that, yet he couldn’t protect you from a fight that wasn’t even yours to begin with. this is why i leave good people behind, armin thought. look at what he did to you, this was his fault and no one else’s.
“don’t you go leaving town once they stitch me up... armin,” it was like you read armin’s mind, your breathing was growing weaker by the minute, and armin could barely hold himself up anymore.
“my precious girl...” armin whispered to you, the light in his eyes dying as he stared at his bloody hand intertwined with yours. the both of you were pushing down on your stomach, his fingers linked with yours as your blood mixed together. the last of the titan’s straggled out of the racetrack in their cars, engines revving down the street. though there was one shadowed figure that stood a few feet away from you two. armin didn't even have to think twice about who it was.
“take one more step near her... and i'll slit your throat right here...”
jean’s figure shook in the shadows, sobs taking over his body.
“i-i never meant for this to happen i swear on my grave...” he whispered.
“i'll kill you jean kirschtein... do you hear me?... i'll kill you with my bare hands... fucking do so much as look at me... or her... and your life... is... mine...” armin threatened, his breathing slowing himself, with the wounds he was suffering from, there was sure to be internal bleeding. though he was on his last life, since he ran away from his eight previous ones, armin’s blue eyes burned bright in the moonlight as he glared at jean from the shadows.
the sound of sirens could be heard coming in your direction.
“y-you better go jeany boy, the cops are gonna getcha, so r-run... l-like the coward... you a-are...” you spat, blood beginning to drip out of your mouth. you snickered as you watched jean’s body disappear into the shadows, him and starla booking it back into town.
you and armin were the only ones left on the ginormous race track that consumed your tiny bodies whole. his body collapsed next to yours, he couldn’t hold himself up any longer. both of you laid face up, as the night sky encased you two in darkness, the only thing illuminating your bodies was the light of the stars. armin’s hand clung to your side tight, pushing down on your hand with everything he had in him, making sure you didn’t lose any more blood. he wasn’t going to let his angel fall.
the siren’s blare grew closer.
you looked over at armin and laughed weakly, coughing more blood up, the crimson liquid staining the lips that gave armin life, your eyes were still mesmerized by his face though it was beaten to a pulp. my beautiful boy, you thought.
“you s-still love me... when i look like this d-darling?”
“i'll love you ‘till i'm dead armin... which by the looks of it... could be really...”
“stop that,” armin growled, his face turned weakly to meet your gaze, “don’t you talk like that,” his voice was shaky. you weren’t going to die, armin would convince himself that.
the sirens were trailing up the dirt road.
“to answer your question... no i-i never... got crazy like... this with, j-jean.”
armin chuckled at your delayed answer to a question he’d asked hours ago, you two laid in silence momentarily as armin began to feel your cool blood seep out far enough from you that it met his back, he shuddered at the feeling.
“you m-make me crazy armin ar-arlert... so goddamn crazy,” you feel your eyes grow heavy, grip loosening on your stomach slightly. armin began to cry, and you cried with him.
“look at us... look... look a-at what we’ve gotten ourselves i-into...” armin laughs through his tears, “the things you do for love...”
flashes of blue and red cloud your eyesight, your brains rattling at the sight of the police cars bolting around the racetrack. with what strength you could muster, you squeezed armin’s swollen fingers tightly, your blood seeping through the cracks of your intertwined hands. you loved armin, and now you've completely given yourself to him...
your head jolts awake as you hear the stereo in one of the police cars play a song too familiar, almost too perfect for this fucking absurd moment.
Why does the rain fall from above?
Why do fools fall in love?
Why do they fall in love?
the sirens were right in front of you, vibrant lights dancing over your limp bodies, hanging on to the last breath. you and armin knew you couldn’t leave this earth yet. this beautiful, fucked up, heartbreak-filled world. you had one last thing you had to do. then... and only then could god take your last breath from you.
“p-promise me one… last… thing… angel...”
“you-you’re gonna let me take you… to dinner...”
you laughed, oh god, you laughed as if you had any breath left in your lungs to do so. your vision grew blurry and your hand lost its grip on your side, as you saw fuzzy figures rushing up to you and armin with stretchers, hands reaching over your bodies.
“and where do you wanna go blondie?”
“i-i don’t know... i heard the shakes at rosie’s are pretty good...”
a/n: woah, i hope u enjoyed reading tell me about it as much as i loved writing it <3 fun fact: this wasn't even supposed to be longer than a one shot! but this fic... i think this fic is my baby. this final part really helped me get out what i didn't even know i had in me. i love her very much so. + if u caught the tiny grease reference in this big mama chapter i applaud u.
© 2021 sxkunas - do not repost my work to any other platforms
More very random modern au aot headcanons because you guys like them :
Sasha played softball in middle school
Ymir got fired from her job as a bartender because she threw a drink on someone because they didn’t like it
Jean had an emo phase when he was 15 and Connie never lets him hear the end of it
Gabi got banned from club penguin because of harassment and bullying on six different accounts
Sasha dips her fries into her McFlurry when she goes to McDonald’s
When eren died in his hardcore minecraft world, he punched his computer so hard the screen shattered
Hitch played girlsgogames religiously as a kid and still does sometimes
Connie took a gap year before going to college
Mikasa steals so much shit everytime she goes to the drugstore
Marco was in the school marching band
Coraline is zofia’s comfort movie
dating levi ackerman headcanons
dude i shamelessly had a huge phase for him but it’s okay bc now i have tumblr content
implied commander/higher up reader; spoiler from levi’s ova (no regrets)
enjoyyyy gn! reader
before dating, he fell in love very gradually. he probably didn’t notice at first.
he was probably in denial about his feelings too
hange teased him about his crush, and he told them to shut up bc “he doesn’t know what they’re talking about”
hange def made a bet with erwin on how long it’d take you two to date
OKAY NOW TO THE NITTY GRITTY 😩 (what even is nitty gritty???)
hange is literally your guys’ biggest shipper. they go around yelling MY SHIP FINALLY SAILED while hugging you two for the first two weeks they find out.
they always ask, “when will i get mini levis and y/ns??”
levi: *hits them*
BUT if you guys did want to keep it on the down low, i feel like they’d keep it to themselves +￼ moblit/erwin. and then let it slip one day by accident 💀
you guys are the cadets’ parents pls.
some of them accidentally called you their parent once
is not a pda person. he loves you, but he does hold a reputation and also thinks affection is more of a “behind the doors” things. but he does give occasional head pats and a forehead kiss when no one is looking.
in private he’ll give into your touches and kisses tho bc let’s be honest, he’s touch starved af.
he’ll be stiff with the affection and not be the one to initiate at first, but over time he’ll warm up to it and start initiating.
he loves when you play with his hair tho. it’s super relaxing to him. AND MASSAGES OMG PLS MASSAGE HIM WHILE HE DOES WORK HE’LL TELEPATHICALLY THANK YOU SM.
loudly “tchs” if you stop as a hint to keep doing what you’re doing.
he isn’t very vocal so you gotta read the man real well. ie: he doesn’t say when he wants attention or directly ask for something.
work “sleepovers”. you guys will do work in each other’s offices and end up falling asleep on the desk.
you’re the only one who can make tea the way he likes 😛😛
you guys eat lunch together/have lunch dates :,)
temple kisser 🤚🏼🤚🏼
holding you extra close when either of you get nightmares to remind each other you two are together.
speaking of nightmares, you comfort each other during the early hours of the morning.
he’s not a big sharer and he’d open up once in a while. not that he doesn’t trust you, it’s just v personal.
if you’re a messy person he’d help you clean your room/office and reprimand you for being messy.
if you’re a clean/tidy person, he’ll compliment you’re cleaning every now and then.
often thinks about how farlan and isabel would’ve loved you :,(
ofc he’s overprotective, considering the amount of people he’d lost and the childhood he went through. he doesn’t want you to leave him like everyone else in his life did.
he’d make sure you’re near him during missions and watch you v closely.
he needs assurance at times esp with everything that has happened to him.
shows love through acts of service
he cares for you sm will do anything to make sure you’re okay and healthy (but is so tsundere about it)
like he’ll be super aggressive with it but it’s just how he is. it’s all out of love and care 😌
— intended exclusively for female readers.
- Is no help whatsoever.
- He is trying his best, y’all.
- It’s the thought that matters.
- Would most likely burn the house down if you left him to bake alone.
- He would put the aprons to good use since he’d get ingredient splatters all over him.
- Would angrily pout while he’s baking (example: (｀⌒´メ)) because he’s concentrated, embarrassed, and frustrated.
“Eren, why do you have flour all over you? It’s only been five minutes…”
- A little confused but he’s got the spirit.
- He will mostly likely follow you like a lost puppy around the kitchen as you make something. Poor Arminnn (´・｀ ）♡
- Though you do not need assistance, Armin happily squeezes himself beside you and starts to help but to an extent since he doesn’t know what he is doing.
- You have to explain to him what to do.
- After that, he totally understood the assignment and did amazing.
“That’s a whisk, Armin…”
- In the zone.
- Concentration levels? Definitely 110 percent.
- Catch him if you can.
- Good luck trying to get his attention.
- You can’t stop him once he’s already started baking.
- He will not let you help.
- *casually slaps your hand away when you’re trying to eat raw cookie dough.* (*￣□￣*;)
“Can’t you see I’m a little busy?”
- Will do anything in his power to ask questions in an attempt to help you out.
- Will spend most of the time he’s there just admiring you.
- Most likely will freak out when you notice him. He’s just a shy boyo.
- He said: (´ω｀*) you caught me
- Will just stand there like: 🧍🏼♂️ sooooo how’s it goin?
- In all honesty, he’s just there for support. <33
“You look gorgeous in that apron…”
“Thank you (〃￣ω￣〃).”
- Oh. My. Word.
- This boy is complaining up a stormmmmm.
- He is whining about the whole baking process taking two long and would much rather just eat some of the raw dough (cookie dough, cake, etcetera).
- ^^ You have to be careful not to turn your back on him or else he might try and do exactly that.
- Just bear with him for the first few minutes and then he’ll go silent for most of it… before returning halfway through to complain some more.
- Would fiddle with your hair slightly or hold your hand just to do something because you know dannnnng well he isn’t going to help you—
“Are the cookies done cooking yet, N/n? ( ≧Д≦)”
“It’s been two minutes, Jean…”
“Oh. ( •_•)”
- Only making jokes the entire time.
- Since he’s just there for moral support but he’s doing a terrible job at it, you’re just staring at him like: (;¬_¬) you done?
- Luckily, after you glare at him a few times, he catches the hint and will give you some space.
- Not for long though (it was fun while it lasted lol). Prepare for more jokes!
- He would totally burn the cookies since he waited too long and/or forgot about them completely. -.-
“Hey, Connie, let’s just play the quiet game 🙂☝🏻.”
“My mom loves that game!”
- Most likely internally panicking but maintaining to calm exterior in order to impress you.
- “I got this ¬‿¬” energy as he’s trying to bake without your help (spoiler alert: he doesn’t got this)
- You appreciate the effort he puts in anyway (´ ꒳` )
- Massive teddybear energy
- If and when he manages to realize that he is hardly any help, he will back off and let you handle it. However, he will hug you from behind. :3
“Are you sure that there’s nothing I can do for you?”
“You’ve done enough (＾-＾).”
please do not put spoilers in the comments (づ￣ ³￣)づ thank you!
sports they would play - part 2
featuring: levi ackerman, hange zoë, erwin smith, miche zacharius (if reader is mentioned reader is gender neutral)
content warnings: none
ellie’s notes: same disclaimer as before - i obviously don’t play all of these sports (or used to and forgot how they work) so some descriptions may be less detailed than others
levi plays lacrosse. he’s very agile and fast, so i see him as an attacker - someone responsible for scoring goals. because he’s so nimble and quick, it’s easy for him to move around the defense without much of a problem. his height certainly helps, too. goalkeeper is something i could see him as as well. it’s tough, having to face a lot of tricky/faster shots, but again, his quickness and agility are enough where he can hold his own pretty nicely.
hange plays tennis - hear me out. i think it’s really just the concept of being able to hit the ball and move around on the court that appeals to them. they play singles more often than doubles - too many incidents where they’ve gotten just a little too hyper for their partner’s taste. when they first started out, it was hard for them to learn how to control themselves, more often than not sending the ball skyrocketing. now? they’re a pro. consider it the calm in their little whirlwind of chaos.
erwin cycles, you cannot tell me otherwise. his bike is his most prized possession. he at first took it up as a more leisure activity, a fun way to explore and get to places while still staying active. after a while, he began entering different types of races and placing fairly well - the rest is history. he’s very focused when on his bike; not much of a talker even if it’s just a fun little ride around town. he owns both a mountain bike for his wilderness excursions and the bike he uses for races and other events. encourages you to come ride with him, just for fun. always a cute date idea.
miche plays rugby - i did not just decide this solely based on that one fanart of him as a rugby player, either. he’s a big, strong and tough guy, so getting more than a little physical - and quite scuffed up - isn’t really a problem for him. would for sure be a prop as the position requires someone really strong and heavy, and he fits the bill. takes a lot of hits during matches and even practice, more often than not coming home with quite a few cuts and bruises on his body. it worries you a lot, especially to have to watch, but he’s always so reassuring. makes everything look so easy and not nearly half as painful as it really is.
PART1, PART2, PART3 - MASTERLIST
The kids had been playing in your room for a couple of hours already. You were busy helping Erwin and Levi with survey corps business meaning you were not able to take care of them.
“I have to work now, do you want me to call uncle Mike? Or Hange?” you told them in the morning.
“Can you call daddy?” Jean asked.
“I can’t, he has to work too.” you explained while helping Connie dress up.
“I can take care of myself!” Eren said proudly.
“Me too!” they all followed Eren’s lead.
“Ooh.” you said with an impressed expression, “Great then, I’ll be back in a few hours alright?”
“Bye bye mommy.” Armin waved goodbye.
While Erwin and Levi were discussing the next’s expedition, you had you head laying on Levi’s lap.
“We’ve also received a lot of gifts from the civilians.” Erwin added. “Lots of flowers.”
“Throw them away.” Levi suggested.
“What? No!” you said, “I’ll take them if you don’t want them.” you told Erwin.
“They’re all yours.”
Just before lunch, you had taken all the flowers to your room. Levi stood next to you, staring at all the flowers you put on the ground, on the desk and on the couch.
“You can’t keep this all in the room.” Levi told you. “I can’t work with this around us constantly.”
“I know, me neither.” you admitted, “Maybe we could send them to my parents?”
“Yeah, great idea because it’s already giving me a headache.”
“I’ll do that tomorrow morning.” you promised.
Meanwhile on the other side of the door, the kids were all listening to your conversation.
“Did you hear?” Eren whispered. “Mom and dad are going to send us away because they can’t work with us.”
“No, don’t cry.” Mikasa told Armin softly.
“So we have to help them.” Connie said.
“We can get them lunch now.” Sasha suggested.
Eren and Mikasa stayed with Armin who was still crying after hearing your conversation. Jean, Sasha and Connie went to the kitchen – thankfully Hange was there too.
“Hey kids!” Hange greeted them. “Where’s Y/N?” they looked around for you.
“Mommy’s not here.” Sasha said.
“We’re giving mommy and daddy food.” Jean explained. “Help us please.”
“Aw, you kids are so adorable!” Hange pinched their cheeks. “I’ll call Moblit to help us ok?”
They all nodded and Hange left to bring Moblit. They started by cooking the potatoes then they prepared some vegetables and thirty minutes after, it was done. Hange took the tray first but Jean stopped them.
“I can take it to mommy and daddy.” Jean said.
“You sure?” Hange asked, “It’s pretty heavy.”
Jean carefully took the tray and walked to your room with Sasha and Connie on each side. When they came back, Armin was still sobbing silently. Eren and Mikasa tried their best to calm him down but failed.
Sasha knocked on the door when Armin finally stopped crying and it was Levi who opened the door. Jean walked in with the tray he has been holding for several minutes now and when he went to gently put it on the table he slipped and dropped the food. Levi and you both rushed to see if Jean was hurt, but he quickly got up and hugged you.
“Let’s get you cleaned up okay?” you told Jean. “Levi can you clean this up?” you showed the food on the ground.
When you left, Levi first turned to the others kids.
“What happened?” Levi asked. “We agreed that we would pick you up and eat together, so why did you suddenly decided to bring it here?”
“No.” Armin shook his head with tears in his eyes.
“What ‘no’?” Levi asked confused.
“No.” Armin run to Levi so he could pick him up. “I don’t wanna leave you!” Armin panicked.
“What? I’m not–.”
Levi looked at the other kids, hoping to get an answer but they all just stared at him. They were all too afraid to mess up again. When you came back to Levi holding a crying Armin and the rest of the kids looking at their feet, you knew something was wrong.
“Somebody has to tell us what’s wrong.” you said. “Mikasa?”
“We–.” Mikasa started but was cut by Armin screaming.
“Ok,” Levi started, “I’ll go outside with Armin.”
“Go on.” you told Mikasa once Levi left.
“Are you sending us away?” Eren answered instead.
“We heard that you wanted to send us away.” Jean explained worried. “We sorry –.”
“What?” you asked again confused.
“Mommy don’t send us away please!” Armin run in crying, snot dripping out of his nose.
“So apparently we decided to send them away.” Levi came in after Armin.
“NO!” Armin grabbed your leg and pulled you closer to Levi so he could grab onto Levi too.
“I’m not…” you started, “We’re not sending you away. We would never do that.” you reassured them.
“But we heard you.” Mikasa said.
“You said that we were going to spend time with grandma and grandpa.” Sasha added.
“We never said that. We would never send you kids away” you repeated yourself. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Levi and you decided to spend your entire afternoon with the kids so they would stop worrying. Armin refused to play with the other kids and stayed in Levi’s arms the whole day. Wherever you or Levi went, they followed. At night, after they all changed, you put them to sleep by reading them their favourite story.
They tried to stay awake because they did not want you or Levi to leave, but they spent their whole day playing – they were tired. In the morning, the kids woke up and the first thing they did was running to your room to continue sleeping with you and Levi.
- Kids celebrating your birthday.
- The kids learnt it from Hange who was talking to Erwin while babysitting.
- It was Mikasa’s idea to prepare you a gift.
- They asked for Levi’s help.
- The morning of your birthday, they all woke up early and bake you a cake with Levi’s help.
- Levi had to ask help and went to the a nearby bakery and asked for a recipe.
- They had to restart once because they messed up – the cake was burnt armin style.
- They surprised you with a breakfast in bed.
- Lots of hugs and kisses.
- Mikasa gave you flowers she picked outside.
- There was a big party with all the survey corps members.
- Levi took care of the kids so you would not have to worry about them for a while.
- Erwin and Hange surprised you by calling your family there.
- The kids loving your brother a lot and it was complicated when he had to leave again.
- What happens when they go back to normal
- Eren would be embarrassed about how clingy he was.
- Jean would embrace the fact that he was clingy. He loves his mom and dad and he likes to show it.
- Mikasa does not like talking about what happened because she feels embarrassed as well.
- Sasha and Connie constantly talk about it and laugh about it.
- Armin would always blush around you or Levi thinking about how he acted as a baby.
- You would always tease them by talking about how they loved spending time with you and Levi.
- Levi definitely missed having babies around.
- Everyone missed having babies around.
- You would often call them ‘sweetie’ or ‘honey’ – baby nicknames – by habit and they would always blush and be embarrassed.
- “Mom! Don’t call me that in front of people!”
- Then at some point, you would do it on purpose.
- Mikasa and Sasha did not mind. Armin did not mind as well but the others ‘hated’ it.
- Jean spent a lot of time drawing. From scenes that happened with them as kids that he wanted to remember to just drawings of you, Levi and him as a family.
- He kept them hidden, but as you were cleaning his room – because he was messy – you found them. You never told Jean, but told Levi and once showed him when Jean was away.
- In the same universe where they turn into kids again but this time, Kuchel is here too.
- After Kuchel’s second birthday, the kids somehow turned into kids again. They were watching over Kuchel at night as you had a date with Levi outside and when you came back, they were all back to being babies.
- The cadets were around five and six years old.
- They would often watch Kuchel for you because you and Levi were busy.
- Kuchel loved playing with her teddy bear and dolls but the cadets did not. They would rather play hide and seek – anything that included moving and running.
- “Ja’!” Kuchel called Jean. “Play wiv me.”
- “Sorry, I have to play with them.” Jean pointed at his friends.
- “Kuchel don’t move ok?” Eren told her before leaving.
- “No go.” Kuchel frowned.
- The cadets played for a while before coming back to Kuchel who has been crying non-stop.
- Eren trying to make her laugh but fails.
- Mikasa trying to hug her but Kuchel crawls away each time.
- Everyone tried to calm her down but no success.
- At the same time, you came in with Levi.
- “What is happening here?” Levi asked in a harsh tone when he saw Kuchel crying.
- “Dada!” Kuchel hugged Levi.
- “You kids are in –.” Levi started but you cut him.
- “I’ll take care of that.” you gently pushed Levi outside.
- The kids were all looking at you scared – they expected to be yelled at and punished.
- “Can somebody please explain to me what happened?” you asked calmly.
- “We… we’re sorry mommy!” Jean was the first one to apologise.
- They explained to you what happened and apologised.
- They apologised to Kuchel too when Levi came back.
- After that incident, they stopped excluding Kuchel while playing because they hated to know that they disappointed their parents.
- Levi was mad for a few days and ignored the kids but stopped when he saw how miserable that made them. Kuchel, like Levi, ignore them for a while but very soon after she forgot about it.
- Jean follow Levi more than usual but Levi would just tell him to go back to his room. Jean cried a lot.
- “Levi, stop being mean to the kids.”
- “They ignored and left Kuchel alone.”
- “They’re kids – I know it was wrong and Kuchel could have hurt herself but she didn’t. And they apologised.” you said. “You know they love Kuchel and if they weren’t kids, they never would have done that.”
- When they went back to normal, they all felt extremely guilty about that incident.
anime: attack on titan
characters: yelena, hange, levi
a/n: First time writing head canons hope you enjoyyy, there will be more parts to this ofc :D (Beware any grammar/spelling mistakes I read it over ten times but I somehow always manage to miss something)
Inspired by @lexstacy-fics knight! Yelena <3
A Knight, a leader in her position only second behind the King’s head knight. Trained for this role her entire life, it also helps that she’s 6’7 and made of muscle, she can snap you in two.
Extremely hardworking to a fault, her entire life revolves around the kings demands, she’s at his beck and call. Never has time for herself, doesn’t help that the rookie knights never listen.
Born from a Lord, so money has never been an issue but honor is extremely important to her
Is not afraid to kill for the kingdom, and is known to get rid of anyone that steps out of line….sometimes even permanently, whether asked by the king or out of her own will
Raging bitch face syndrome, her looks naturally kill. Definitely hard to approach, the King seems easier to talk to according to her subordinates.
Stick up her ass when it comes to rules, always follows them to a tee and makes sure those around her are also doing so….even the king
Hates the summer the heat turns her armor into a fuqing oven and she hates it
Loves to go into town and see the way the villagers cower in her presence, while simultaneously praising the ground she walks on
“ Never fear as long as I’m around, feel free to place your troubles on to me”
Not a loser, has won every war she’s lead and helped lead...you can imagine how this has fed her ego
A wizard, the kingdoms sole wizard
Hit or miss with their work. The good is really good and the bad….well….really bad
Accidentally sent the kingdom into an eternal winter from trying to create a talking snowman…dont worry fixed quickly, in part thanks to the head knights threats (still has nightmares from his words)
No family, they randomly appeared in the kingdom and quickly accepted thanks to the miracles and power they possess. Folks have rumored they came from the forbidden land as a spy….but those are just rumors right?
Had a spooky wizard tower built but they hated it and now reside within the castle, in the dungeons where any unlucky prisoners are volunteered for their spells
Hates violence so the bulk of their magic is spent on protective enchantments
Loves the art work collected by the king, can stare for hours at any paintings, just thinking and wondering of the worlds created in the illustrations
Wakes up at 3pm, can not be reached before that hour, annoys the head knight to no end
New set of glasses a week, because they always end up losing or breaking them (could easily cure their sights, but claims glasses add to their character)
Low key mysterious aura to them, but instantly forgotten by people once they open their mouth
“ Now if I could just give the spiders the ability to talk, we could have our own little spider harvesting army ” “or you could bless the soil to fix the famine” “hmmmm I guess I could do that too”
Head knight, with having the highest rank, one of the kingdoms hero’s alongside Yelena and Hange
Hates Hange, but is somehow always found in the dungeons with them
Constantly giving the king unsolicited advice
“The dining tables cloth is entirely too peach, completely ruins the ambiance of the room” “…….okay”
Extremely cold, personality wise and also the rookies claim the room drops a few degrees when he enters it
Eyes like daggers, his face has probably killed a few enemy’s just from his stare. ( But what he’s really thinking is how the silver plated armor on the enemy’s horse ruins the shine of the emerald detailing on the enemy’s body armor)
Aesthetics are extremely important to him, sure the enemy stole land from the kingdom but the real crime lies in the incoherency in their army’s uniform
Has a personal office in the barracks just for drinking his tea
Up before the sun, and never asleep before it
Admired by the villages women/men but never has time for love, too focused on keeping the castle from falling apart due to Hange’s spells or the Kings ridiculous demands (once asked Hange to create a bouncy house out of bubbles for his daughters )
“Seriously how the fuck is this building still standing…”
Request Could I please get the 15 years old Eren with a fem shy s/o who has crush on him and her reason liking him is because he’s nice to her and treat her right
Hey I’m the same anon who request eren with a fem shy s/o who has crush on him because he treat her right, well she gets really shy and flustered when he’s around but instead of them becoming couples it’s actually similar to Jean like when he likes mikasa and gets jealous of eren so it happen the same thing with a s/o when she see mikasa with eren, she did got jealous but unlike Jean, she didn’t got mad and gets sad instead so it’s like her trying forget about him but she end up becoming close friend with Eren which it really surprised her because she was expecting to not have a lot of interaction with him
Author note : Your request is actually is godsend for me ! It’s been a year since I wanted to write a headcanon about a non mutual relationship between reader and eren but I didn’t know how to do it. I’ve written a lot of things but I didn’t have any context you just gave it to me so thank you !
Sorry for taking so long hope you won’t mind
Warning : ANGST / unrequited love / You’re being friendzone / death content
Now thinking about this you should see it coming
I mean it wasn’t like that you two could have any chance
He was always with her everytime
She grew up with him
She protected him
She was willing to give his life for him
He even wraps that stupid scarf around her neck, and of course she had to say it on every god damn occasion « thank you eren for wrapping this scarf » who cares ?
This was unfair
The worst is you couldn’t even get mad at her or him
She wasn’t responsible for your stupid crush
And he wasn’t too
After all he’s never done something that push you into that way, everyone would tell him that, they told him that it wasn’t his fault.
Now that he was looking at you, or should I say what left of you, he couldn’t help but feel sorry. He should had been stronger he should had been able to protect you.
Yet he failed and now here you were, most of you now into that titan stomach he wasn’t even sure he would be able to find you into all those corpse, the rest of you were lying on the floor.
You shouldn’t have died
You shouldn’t have loved him to begin with
That was the conclusion of Eren Yeager after reading your personal diary, maybe if you haven’t fallen in love with him you would still be there.
« Day one after realizing my feeling for Eren : I don’t know why I even started this, it’s not like anyone would even read it. I guess it might help me going through everything, sometimes during the night when I’m alone with my thought I can’t sleep. Most of the time I need to cry a little bit to find the strength (if that makes any sense) to fall asleep, and sometimes I just day dream about Eren and me and it helps me even though it pained me. I don’t know what I should do about this, I mean it’s not like I can even compete with Mikasa.
When I first met him, to be honest I didn’t like him. I mean sure he was cute and everything but damn he never shut up, he was always acting cocky trying to tease and get on Jean’s nerve (what’s wrong with him anyway ? Was he jealous of him because he tried to talk to Mikasa ? Is even aware of Jean’s feelings toward him… What a dumbs). I just couldn’t bare him. It was too much.
But one day him and I went into a mission together for the survey corps, even though he was gifted with titan’s ability he always worked hard on his body, his moves so he could be a proper soldier and won’t need his titan strength (which is idiot by the way). Our mission was mostly observation nothing too crazy about it, but quickly we were starting to feel bored so we decided to have a little chat together. Getting to know him make me realize how kind he could despite being an angry little shit. I asked him was he was so willing to train hard, he told me he wanted to protect everyone he cared about, he wanted to protect us from the titan.
I can’t explain how and why, but the look on his eyes, the determination coming from his turquoise eyes … Aaaah I can’t even explain it but it touched me not in a physical way (maybe ? I don’t know) I just feel dizzy, my heart was beating hard against my chest, I felt some warmth coming from my stomach to my cheeks. He looked cool. »
Seeing this from your point of view was an addition of pain from him, he never realized how you felt around him.
To him you were one of his closet friends, he felt very close to you and yet he never realized how you felt about him
But he should see it coming, if he was smarter he would notice how easily it was for him to make you all shy, or a blushing mess. He should notice that you tend to be timid every time he was too close to you or when his hands brushed yours. He just never noticed and thought you were « his shy friends »
He couldn’t count how many times you saved his ass during your training together, how many times you were here for him when he felt like he didn’t worth anything, when he was struggling because he was overwhelmed by feelings. How every night that he didn’t feel like sleeping alone because his nightmare was here waiting for him to fall asleep, you were here with a sweet smile and your comfort word : it was everything that he ever needs before falling asleep
How everytime during this particular night he woke up on his bed, well wrapped in his duvet, did you hold him ? Did you cover him while he was asleep ?
To him you were his angel, his guardian maybe both at the same time who knows ?
Never had he thought that the reason beyond your kindness was that he means everything for you
And now you weren’t here anymore, you died because of him.
You died with tears on your eyes because of him
You were lonely because of him
Why hadn’t you stopped loving him ?
It could save you
« Day ten after realizing my feelings for eren : I realized that I’d never taken time to write my first interaction with him. I should have started with it. We were all talking in the forest after a particularly hard training, we weren’t still soldiers yet. One of the Jean’s friends, I think his name was Marco (he died during the Frost event I’m sad that I couldn’t get to know him more) asked us where we wanted to be selected as a soldier. Most of the people wanted to be on the police brigade while I wanted to be on the garrison.
I don’t know why (what was wrong with him ?), but Eren started to yell at me. He cockily said that I shouldn’t be here If I wanted to be on the garrison in the first place. All of them were losers and they should keep clearing the deck. Obviously I was taken apart because he was so mean of me for literally not reason ? I didn’t have much choice but to slap him on the face telling him that if he was so strong like he pretends to then he shouldn’t struggling with the gear material and yet he was the worst by far.
He didn’t answer back and instead Armin separated us.
Two days later, he came to me to apologize for his behavior. He explained to me that he got a vivid dream where he was living again the death of his mother and couldn’t help but felt angry against the garrison of Shinganshima for doing nothing to prevent it. Though he shouldn’t be a reason to be so mad at me while l’ve literally done nothing against him. Before answering a quick glance helped me to notice Armin trying to hide behind a tree, of course it has to be his words it didn’t sound like him. I told him that everything was forgiven and that it shouldn’t say something like that anymore or I would kill him. He chuckled (now I can admit that it sounded like heaven for me) and promised to never do that ».
He chuckled while reading your letter, if your description of the event was loyal to what happened this day, your reaction wasn’t what you described. You wouldn’t threat him to kill him if he ever did again. You tried to threaten him but in fact you were a little bit too shy so you kinda mumble your threat. No need to say that Eren wasn’t feared at all but still keep it in mind.
Reading your notes makes him wondering, maybe if he was stronger, maybe if he was stronger, if he was smarter, maybe, maybe he could prevent your death
Maybe he would act differently with you
Maybe you’ll still be there smiling at him and blushing at him because he moved way too close at your face
« One month since I’ve realized my feelings for Eren : I don’t know why I’m still keeping writing on this book, no one would ever read it and certainly not Eren. It’s really sad to say it and even more painful to write it down, but I don’t think I will ever have a chance with him. No after everything that happened.
It’s been a week since Reiner and Bertholt have left us, it’s been a week since their betrayal.. Well they were never loyal to us but still it hurts. It’s even more painful for Eren as he saw Reiner as his own big brother. We had fight against us, they tried to kidnap Eren and Historia (ex Christa), and as he was alone with her in front of a big titan which I learned was the titan who eat his mother. They tried to kiss each other, at least from where I was it appeared to me that they were about to kiss knowing they would die.
I don’t know why I feel so sad. I mean she was always here close to him, she never left him no matter what. Even when everyone thought he was dead because a titan ate him, she was still hopping for his return. Even when we discovered his ability as a titan, she was here ready to kill everyone and leave with him. Maybe the reason why he isn’t love with me is because I’m not as strong as she is ? Or maybe because I’m not as good looking as she is ? I mean pretty much every man from our team had a slight crush on her. Maybe I’m not good enough for him »
The date from that letter hurt him, not only because you were degrading yourself where they were no reason for saying bad stuff but also because he could exactly what happened couple of days later. Eren wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep his reading.
He knows what is about to happen and he doesn’t want to read your reaction about it, he hurt you that day
But he needed to keep it going he owns you that
« Five weeks since I’ve realized my feelings for Eren : its starting to get painful to write my crush’s development. God I love him so much, I love Eren so much but the more I’m trying to show him my feelings the more he kept us apart.
Since that incident with Mikasa and the titan who ate his mom (I’m calling her smiley). So since Smiley incident, he started to talk less with me and instead train a lot all alone. He stopped knocking at my door the night when he couldn’t sleep and instead decided to stay alone looking at the sky, sometimes Mikasa is here sitting close to him and they looked at the sky together. Nothing happened they just here sitting peacefully, like a couple looking for a falling start to make a wish.
How I wish I could be there, I wish I could sit next to him, putting my head on his shoulders letting him talk about everything that on his mind even though it means nothing I don’t care, I just want to be close to him. Sometimes when the training is very exhausting he is crying from frustration for not being able to control any titan or because he can’t create that crystal that Annie wrapped herself in. He seemed so sad, so disappointed about himself I wished I could find the right word so he would be happy again.
But I don’t. Every time I tried something it ends up with him getting angry at me or just bothering him. I’m really a piss of shit, why should I expect ? I didn’t want to join the survey corps I did it for him, I couldn’t even follow my own choice, I’m a coward just as he once said. I shouldn’t be here to begin with and I shouldn’t bother him. But I can’t help him, I just love him so much but each day it’s like time take me away from him. One day he will stop talking to me or ask me to stop being here.
Update : that day came. I just wanted to help him, give him some comfort, I wanted to take care of him and took his pain away from him. But I failed and instead of him smiling at me he yelled at me. He asked me to never come to him again, he said that he didn’t want to see me again, he wished that I left for the garnison. He said that I was bothering him. »
He didn’t have any excuse, that day when he yelled those horrible thing at you he was particularly exhausted. He was working 24/7 on his titan ability and couldn’t manage to do anything. Besides, he was still sad from Reiner’s betrayal and couldn’t help but wondering why he will do that to him and his friends. Some nights he was bothering by his nightmare but they started to feel more like memory and not just bad dream that his tricky brain would craft for him.
He was starting to feel as if he was here before, as if he already lived those dreams while he never went into those places in his dreams.
His mind was already a mess and the frustration of not being able to fill his mission was getting on his nerve, and seeing you looking at him with those pity eyes. That was enough for him, and he just yelled at you again and again until you left doing your best to not cry in front of him.
He hates himself for being a bitch whenever he was frustrated, it started with Mikasa and now it was you who would be next Armin ?
Sometimes he just closed his eyes for not seeing his companion reaction at his own stupidity, but with you or at least what was left of you he couldn’t do that anymore. He was the reason you weren’t here with him anymore, he was the reason fo your loneliness, your sadness.
He broke your heart multiple time and you never yelled back at him, you just take everything he told you and just left thinking that he was your own fault, because you weren’t enough.
But you were.
He never had the chance to tell you that though
« Two months since I’ve realized my feelings for Eren, one week after he told me to never talk to him again : This night I didn’t dream, recently I’ve been doing the same dream. I was laying on the floor, I couldn’t move, my body felt like it was heavy, I’m not even sure if I was breathing all I could see was the sky. But somehow it felt nice quite a little bit bitter though, I wasn’t feeling any pain anymore, I wasn’t sad anymore. As if everything had been swipe off.
It was relaxing until I heard some footstep, they were light as if the person was trying to be as silent as possible. They walked until the found me, rising my eyes to their level I heard myself gasping. It was Eren, he looked older his hair was longer and for whatever reason he decided to put them on a messy bun. His eyes were darker than usual, he looked disappointed, a little bit sad too. He looked at me as if wondering what he should said. I couldn’t say what was on his mind but then I felt a tear on me, one, two. Looking at his eyes I’ve realized that he was somehow crying, I don’t know why though. And since my body was paralyzed I couldn’t move my hand to brush their on their cheeks. When I tried to make a sound I realized that despite my inability to move I was still able to talk so I did.
Eren ? Is that you
Why are you crying ?
I’m so sorry
For what ? You didn’t do anything besides I’m the one that should apologize I did bother you after all
I’m so sorry y/n I wish I could prevent it
Prevent what eren ? Why are you crying ? Please don’t it makes me sad
Y/N I- I didn’t know I wanted to protect you like everyone else I really care about you
And I care about you too Eren I really do
I wish I could share your feeling I really do… forgive me
Then he kneeled in front of me and brushes my face with his hand, he got a sad smile on his face. Then he stood up and moved. Each time when I couldn’t see anymore I woke up with tears on my face and the feeling that he actually did brush my cheek with his face. But today it was different.
I didn’t wake up with tears on my cheeks but instead with a strange feeling. Something no one should ever felt when waking up. Today I was waking up with the certainty that I would die. I just know it : today I’m going to die. I would finally leave that world full of pain and sadness. I will lay on the floor and Eren would feel sorry for some reason. With that thought in my mind I started my day and here I am writing on this book, it might be the last I would ever do it and if someone is actually reading me it means that I was right and I died today. If so let me remind you buddy that it’s a breach of privacy, not because I’m here giving you the right to read that. If I survive then I would write a little update about my day hoping that everything would be fine.
If it’s you Eren well… I’m sorry I want you to know that I never wanted to bother you, to make you sad quite the contrary my wish was to be able to comfort you when you’ll need it. I really love you Eren, I love you a lot. Maybe we’re too young to ever understand what’s love ever mean, but I know I love you, I know that I would give my life for you if it’s means that you’ll be happy.
I don’t know why I saw you in my dream older, but I want you to know that no matter what happened, it wasn’t your fault, I love you. It’s a very selfish emotion you know ? Because sometimes when I saw you with Mikasa I really wanted to be her so I’ll be sure to protect you no matter what. You’re strong Eren no matter what people would say, you are strong not just because you are born into this world but because you got the mind of people who would go big things in order to change the world. I know for a fact that you’ll be a hero, maybe people won’t understand it, maybe they won’t see you as a hero but I will, I will always see you as hero. Maybe that’s what Love is, seeing all the good from people wanted to do everything in order to make them happy, I don’t know I’m too you well I should say I was too young to understand it. I wanted to thank you Eren, for being my friends, for sharing your anxiety and your fear with, for letting me be a part of your life. I wish I could have more time so I’ll be able to tell you everything, but I was just too shy and maybe a coward. I wish I could make you happy Eren I wish I could be enough for you, if you’re reading this I’m probably dead but that’s okay I’ll still love you and I won’t be in pain anymore. Thank you Eren, I wish you the best.
Update : »
That day, Y/N died.
No one except that, it was supposed to be a very easy mission, but things didn’t go as planned.
Reiner, Bertholt, and a monkey titan came to protect Shinganshima ready to take Eren as well. Everyone trained for that day, but it didn’t go as planned, quickly the monkey titan destroyed horses, blocked the only way for soldiers to run away.
Quickly even though they were out numbered, Erwin knew they were no other way than sacrifice themselves in order to help Levi in his attempt to kill the monkey.
Y/N was there with Floch and other unnamed soldiers when they heard Erwin telling us that this would be their last mission.
You weren’t surprised nor were you sad, you felt that it was your final day you just felt it. Somehow it helped you get on your horse running as fast as possible knowing you would die eventually from the rock that were send by the monkey or by titans that was surrounded you.
You were relaxed, and as a rock was flying over you, you kinda saw the older Eren looking at you with a sad smile. Then you understood everything, that dream, it was him. He somehow talked to you in an area you were sure you never been there before. He wanted to apologize because you were about to die and he never managed to tell you in front of you.
And as the rock was falling right into you, you just smile some tears rolling into your cheek. In the end you would never be lucky in your life, falling in love with someone that just saw you as a friend, being into depression because you felt like you weren’t enough, finally dying for what ? Nothing, because that Eren from the future wasn’t happy meaning that this mission won’t give him the satisfaction he was looking for.
Yeah, you weren’t lucky
Now you may wondering how eren could prevent that ? After all he is blaming himself for what happened to you
Simple, since you two argues (mostly Eren yells at you), he never talked to you again and when it was time to prepare the mission to conquer Shinganshima. Eren was one of those who were supposed to participate at the development of the mission, and especially he needed to choose which soldier would be with me to fight again Reiner and probably Bertholt too.
He decided that you didn’t belong to his team anymore so he let you going with Floch and the other fighting the titan outside with Levi and Erwin
Obviously now, he realized that kicking you out of his team was the last thing that convince you that your dark though were real and of course you didn’t fight to stay alive you just let it go tired of being rejected by the man you loved.
If only he knew about it, he would prevent it
He would save you.
gonna write period hcs when i get home cause a bitch is in AGONY so tell me which characters/shows i should do (nsfw and sfw is welcome) <3
how levi feels if you’re on an expedition outside the walls with him headcanons
.he’s even more tensed and stressed than he usually is during an expedition. he believes in your capacity,but he just have this instinct of wanting,needing to protect you.
.he has lost too many people ,and he thinks that he can avoid others dying by being here to protect them. so,he will definitely need you near him.
.he always in someway manage to look at you,or to find a way to sense your presence. his eyes are always on you,which can sometimes distract him from the mission (and get him in danger.)
.if he sees that you made a mistake that might get you in trouble,he’ll swear under his breath and try to get near you.
.he’s overprotective when it comes to you being in danger. he’ll always try to make you stay home,or to put you in the less dangerous expeditions.
.he’s still trying to contain himself and not look like a totally frightened boyfriend,but the way he keeps looking at you,how he always fly to you if you’re in danger,and how he’s almost loosing his mind when you’re hurt makes everyone understand that you completely,entirely,own this man’s heart.