AN: we’re just gonna. pretend hoyt keeps a mini fridge in his office. for the sake of simplicity. thanks. Originally a list of headcanons but I kinda drew ‘em out and turned them into a scenario. Thank you for your patience.
Summary: You love Arthur, and Arthur loves you - and neither of you could stand to see the other hurt. Arthur always so adamantly defended you and stood up for you when you failed to do so for yourself, but you began to feel as if maybe - maybe - you weren’t doing your job of defending him like you should’ve been.
Luckily, one day in Arthur’s haze of exhaustion does he forget something at home on his way to work one morning, and you decide to bring it to him - giving you the perfect opportunity to give those who handle him roughly a small piece of your mind.
Neither you nor Arthur were very assertive.
Though both of you could be when the time came for it, very quickly was it learned that more often than not, it was best to just let things go, in Gotham; everyone knew that it was best to just avoid the fight that would inevitably come with confrontation - avoid the problems, the anger, and the violence that seemed to be lurking around every corner. No one in the city liked to accept responsibility for their shitty behavior, and any sort of criticism - whether warranted or not - only led to more anger and violence, and neither you nor Arthur had the energy to deal with it on most days.
The passive attitude the two of you had long since adopted was both a blessing and a curse for the two of you; a blessing as you could so easily let things go and not letting them fester and bother you for days to come - but also a curse, as that passiveness was often taken as weakness - and being perceived as weak only tempted others to try and take advantage of you. They’d think that they could just push, and push, and push - that they could just walk all over whomever they pleased, and that the one who was weak would just sit there and take it without any form of argument, push back, or resistance.
I’ve always dreamed a lot about Arthur in black suit because suite and ties do things to me and I’m pretty sure that Arthur in black suits might be the death of me.
He would be like that and honestly
I’m not prepared
#Now look at him #Tell me he can't kill us even just by existing #He's f*ucking illegal #Somebody stop him please #My heart is weak #Also this could be Arthur at his wedding #I'm not f*ucking prepared #Can you please just eat the life out of me #Thank you#Also #He would have untied hair #And this detail would make him even more hot #HOT #I need to calm down #Jokerownsmysoul#Arthur Fleck#Joker 2019#Joker#Joaquin phoenix
I loved working at “ha has” as a costume designer. I designed a lot of the guys clown costumes. But one thing I hate the most…is Randall. He’s just always makes remarks about me…talking inappropriately about me with other workers. He has no respect! I was done working on Gary’s costume on.
“There you go” I smiled
“Oh wow thank you” he smiled as he looked over at the costume
“It looks amazing” he said as he held it close
“It’s just the right size” Randall said as he stormed into my room where I designed the clothes, Gary rolled his eyes and exited
“Randall I already made your costume” I sighed
“I know I know”
“Then what are you doing here!” I asked as I turned my back away since I was placing my new stack of colourful thread on the shelf.
I heard the door creaking which means he was trying to the close the door.My eyes widened as I turned around in a panic, luckily Arthur barged in hitting Randall’s leg. Randall winced in pain
“Arthur you idiot!” He spat
“Sorry but y/n have you designed my costume yet” he asked as his green eyes beamed with excitement
“Arthur you didn’t give me your design”
“Oh yeah I forgot I’m so sorry look it’s here” he said as he took a notebook out. Randall came after Arthur and asked Arthur why did he hurt him, Arthur told him it was by accident.
“Randall leave or I’ll call the boss over!” I said
“No don’t call him” he said as he exited closing the door behind him
Arthur began laughing at Randall
We both sat down together. He placed his notebook onto the table and showed me his drawing for the kind of costume he wanted.
“You see I want my shoes to be fat” he said
“Is it bad?” He asked
“No Arthur not at all it’s just I’ve never had anyone wanting me to design shoes too” I smiled
“But I think it’s an amazing idea” I smiled as I observed his drawing.
I slowly turned the page thinking there was another drawing perhaps immediately the notebook was snatched out of sight.
“Arthur I’m sorry I thought there was another drawing on the next page”
“No no it’s fine it’s just…this is private”
“Would you like to draw your design on this?"I asked as I placed an A3 white sheet
"Yeah” he smiled
With that we both sat down together all day colouring in and drawing his costume.
He kept making me laugh because he just had these funny and creative ideas.
“Oh it’s getting late” Arthur said
“It’s dark already?” I said as I rolled my eyes
“It’s 7pm” he said as he looked at his watch
“Do you want me to…just drop you off or”
“Yeah sure” I smiled
I got my things ready and closed my office light and locked the door. Me and Arthur exited together. We began talking and I actually noticed he’s pretty shy yet slightly confident around me.
“My house is just there” I said as I pointed at it from far ahead
“Alright I have to go this way up these stairs” he said
“Alright I’ll see you tomorrow Arthur” I smiled as I came forward and gave him a hug, he wrapped his arms around my waist as he held me close
“See you” he smiled as he slowly let go of me
We parted away.
The next day, I was setting up all the colourful materials for Arthur’s costume until my boss knocked on the door.
“Y/n we need you at the main room” he said
“Alright” I sighed
I made my way towards the main room to find the boss standing next to a new worker
“This is Peter and he is going to be working here as a clown amongst you guys”
Peter made his way towards me, his blonde hair was scruffy as well as his blue eyes stared into my soul.
“You a clown too?” He laughed
“I’m a costume designer” I smiled
“Right” he smirked
“When are you going to make my costume?” He asked
“Whenever you want I’m a machine” I said sarcastically
I was in my office finding the right material to make Arthur’s costume just the way he wanted it. Just then there was a knock on my door.
“Hey” Peter said
“Hey” I said
He placed a picture of a costume design
“I want this” he smiled
“Tough I’m already doing someone else”
“Mine won’t take long besides I’m new” he said pleasing me with a smirk
“Don’t care” I giggled
“Stubborn” he said
“Alright just give it here” I said
“Oh you just want a wig?” I asked
“Well yeah” he said
“That’ll be done in an hour” I smiled
Since Peter was new I just wanted to quickly complete his wig for him so he could get on with his work. Randall walked past my office I noticed and I just ignored him.
“Forget about y/n” Randall said
“Why?” I asked
“She’s meant to designing your costume but she’s designing Peters” Randall told me
“She wouldn’t do that she promised to complete mine first, she wouldn’t just leave my costume to the side”
“See for yourself” Randall suggested
I rolled my eyes and walked past her office to see through her window that she infact was designing his wig…did she like Peter or something? Why is she creating his stuff before mine…he just got here?!? I was so angry at this point that I decided to get my stuff together and just go home. Peter couldn’t just come in out of nowhere…I was in the process of winning y/ns heart.
I needed to look for Arthur, I found Arthur in the corner he was putting his shirt on. I made my way towards him.
“Arthur I just had the most brilliant idea” I said
“I don’t want to hear it!” He stated
“Don’t you have other costumes to design?” He said sarcastically
“Arthur I was designing yours” I explained
“Since when did Arthur have a orange wig?” Randall said from the corner
“Shut up!” I said
“Save it y/n” Arthur said as he pushed past me I saw Randall smile, I glared at him.
I got back into my office and spent all evening finishing Arthur’s costume, along with his shoes. By the time I was finished it was 9:50. I placed the costume into bags and made my way towards Arthur’s apartment. I knocked on his door and he opened it yawning then lightly choked to find me there.
“Y/n?” He asked
“Hi I’m really sorry if I’ve upset you, I know how it looked…that I started his wig before your costume but he was new and I just wanted him to start work and just sort of leave me alone” I giggled
Arthur looked down feeling guilty
“Sorry y/n I was mean it’s just Randall made it seem like as if you…liked peter or something”
“No I don’t like him and Randall is just an idiot” I added
“Oh here is your costume” I said as I handed him the bag
“Wow” he yawned lightly “I’ll check it out now but do you wanna come inside?” He asked
“Actually you can check it out tomorrow, get some rest” I smiled
“Okay” he said
Before he closed the door he wrapped his arms around me.
“Thank you” he whispered
“It’s alright” I smiled
The next day I found a love note on my desk, I smiled hoping it was from Arthur. But it was from Peter…I sighed
“Y/n!” Arthur said as he walked in
“Oh hi” I smiled as I scrunched the letter
“I love the costume so much and the boots…you are seriously talented!” He explained
“Yeah” I smiled
“and these are for you” Arthur said as he took out red roses from his basket.
“Arthur?” I blushed
“It’s for you”
“I can see” I giggled
“Thank you” I smiled as I held the roses close
With that Arthur came close and placed his lips onto mine, I kissed him back. We began kissing until there was a knock on the door.
We heard the knock but didn’t bother; our lips were still connected I just didn’t wanna let go. Neither did he.
Randall came in after knocking assuming that would be okay?
“What the fuck?” Randall yelled
Arthur backed away; I couldn’t help but to laugh at Arthur’s reaction.
“What?” I asked Randall
“Are you two dating?”
“Even if we were it would have nothing to do with you” I said
“I have to go and erm finish something” Arthur said as he walked out
Randall followed after him.
I’ve won her heart! I smiled as I thought to myself.
I posted my thoughts on the ending to Joker (2019) earlier, and now I want to share my theory. It’s probably a stretch, and some of you might already have the same theory as I do. That’s what I love about the ending. You can take it any way you want, there are no right or wrong answers. I will say I hate the “This guy isn’t the Joker” theory though. At first, yeah, it was kind of hard for me to see Arthur as the Joker we all know that does horrible things. Especially because for most of the movie, he only kills people who wronged him, and he wasn’t someone that would go after random people for no reason. But at the end, I could totally buy him as the Joker. Like I said earlier about the ending, Arthur is so different in that one scene than he was in the rest of the movie. Everything about him is different. He’s genuinely laughing. That’s one of the only times he was laughing because he wanted to, and not because of his condition. There’s just something about him that’s so much darker. It’s like he’s a completely different person. So here’s my theory.
I think the ending takes places several years in the future. Arthur looks older, there’s some gray in his hair. The stubble of his beard is gray, too. I think he’s already gone toe to toe with Batman a few times, at least enough to know what he’s up against. Batman caught the Joker and put him in Arkham, and they decide to do a psychological evaluation. So the whole movie is him telling the psychiatrist about his past. Of course we already know because of who the story is about that it’s being told by an unreliable narrator. We have no way of knowing if any of it actually happened. I think some of it could have happened, but it could be twisted around.
He could have been telling her that story to distract her while he was planning his escape, or to get her to feel sorry for him which would be a Joker thing to do. But assuming the Gotham riots happened, he would know about the Wayne’s death. Maybe he saw a picture of young Bruce standing in the alley in the newspaper or something. And as he finishes the story, he remembered the picture he saw years ago. He’s laughing to himself. Somehow he figured out who Batman is. That’s why it goes back to Bruce in the alley after he says “I was just thinking of a joke.” He wasn’t just laughing about the fact that he was indirectly responsible for creating his greatest enemy, but he’s also thinking to himself, “Batman, the intimidating, imposing figure that all of Gotham is somewhat afraid of, the person that was born on the same night I was, is really just a little boy in a costume playing superhero and crying for his parents.” He thinks it’s hilarious.
I do think the Joker would find that funny. And since he knows who Batman is, that’s why he tells the psychiatrist she wouldn’t get it. He wouldn’t tell her because he thinks he should be the only one who should know. I think if the Joker ever found out who Batman is, he would keep it to himself. The only person he would tell is Batman himself. Batman’s identity would be between him and the Joker. It would’ve been so cool if he said “You wouldn’t get it. It’s between me and him.” I know it’s a stretch, but it would be interesting to have a Joker who knows who Batman is, at least in the live action movies. I wouldn’t be surprised if the comics have already done a storyline where the Joker knows Batman’s identity.
I guess we’ll never really know the truth. We’ll never know if Arthur is just some guy making up a story, or if it really is Arthur in the future as Joker, or if the Arthur we see in the movie never existed and the Joker is actually the bad dude we all know, and while he was planning his escape, he distracted the psychiatrist by telling her a made up sympathetic story about his past, and he’s making us feel sorry for him when he’s actually a terrible person. That one seems like the most likely to me. And yeah, I’d be upset if that was the case. Having it turn out that the Joker was trolling us the whole time and then at the end he’s like “Just kidding, fam. None of it actually happened LOL” At the same time, that would totally be a Joker thing to do. But that’s the great thing about the ending. If we knew the truth, it would ruin the mystery, and we’d be bored.
Maybe it’s just because I have it, and I’m projecting onto him lol. But in the original script, he plays ukulele. There’s also the fact that Todd Phillips says he’s a person who has “music in his soul”. So it makes sense to me, idk
Summary: You study and love on Arthur’s hands. Fluff.
A/N: Inspired by this photo. This is basically what I did yesterday, I just turned it into a piece. RIP
You had a tendency to get lost in every detail of Arthur, especially when you were cuddling under the sheets of the bed you shared together, every curve of Arthur and every artistry that he was made of perfectly accessible to you in the coziness of the act of cuddling. Such as now. You were simply so enchanted by everything that Arthur was made of, in body and soul alike. You truly felt yourself being put under a certain trance every time you allowed yourself to study even just one crevice on his body, one wrinkle on his face, one vein in his skin.
Your eyes’ fixation of choice tonight was on Arthur’s hand, which was currently gently pressed over yours as a form of comfort. You and Arthur were sitting in your bed together with the pillows propped up against the wall, with Arthur’s head rested on top of yours as he talked quietly to you about his day. You were sharing in the simple and warm conversation about the troubles and the complexities of the day that you both had just had. It was your most favorite and most therapeutic time of your day. Your eyes had been resting on the complete art that was his warm hand on top of yours, losing yourself in that all too familiar loving haze. After a moment’s thought, you brought your other hand that wasn’t being rested under his and trailed it over to his that was on top of yours, intertwining your fingers into the spaces of his and lifting it up to your eye level so that you could get a closer look at it.
Arthur chuckled as you gazed at his hand entirely spellbound, complete fascination in your eyes.
Arthur carried Ashe to bed. She looked peaceful in spite of the panic attack she was having. He took out a cigarette and began to smoke it. He shook his head. He felt very guilty about injecting her with a sedative. He just wanted her to calm down. That wasn’t the only thing he felt bad about. Part of him wanted to let Ashe go. He knew it wasn’t easy for her to be taken away from everyone and everything she had. ‘I had to. It’s for the best. I know this is hard for her, but she’ll come around and realize I did it for us. I just wish I didn’t have to drug her. What was I supposed to do? She barely slept since she’s been here. She was hysterical. I kept asking her what was wrong. I kept telling her that everything is fine and I wasn’t going anywhere, but all it did was make her more upset. I was afraid she would hurt herself. I’ve got a first aide kit just in case, but I really don’t want to use it if I can help it. I hope she knows I did it for her protection, the same reason I’ve done everything else. I hope she wakes up okay.’ He went out to the living room to give her some space.
Arthur decided to pass the time by watching a few episodes of Murray Franklin. It made him smile. It reminded him of the times he watched it at night with his mother. For a moment, he felt sad she wasn’t there to watch Murray with him. It was one of the few things he enjoyed doing with his mother. He didn’t feel guilty about smothering her. She lied to him his entire life, he was devastated. He was so angry at her. But then, if he never discovered the painful truth, he never would’ve found out who he is. A small part of him missed her. Even if she lied to him and let the abuse happen, she was still his mother. He could put those feelings aside. He has Ashe now. He wondered if she would watch Murray Franklin with him and like the show as much as he does. It made him excited just thinking about it. He decided to read the newspaper. He wished he didn’t when he saw the headline. “Young Woman Missing.” He read more of the excerpt. “Thirty-year-old Ashlyn Taylor has been missing for two days. Friends became very concerned since she hasn’t shown up for work or returned their calls when they tried to reach out to her. Anyone with any information regarding her whereabouts is urged to contact the Gotham City Police Department.” Arthur should’ve been worried but he wasn’t. He felt that darkness in him again. The news about the clown killing those Wall Street guys was still the top story in the news. ‘They just won’t let the murders of three rich guys go, will they? It’s been two weeks, and it’s still the top story. Meanwhile, some poor sweet girl has been missing for two days and it’s not even part of the regular news. They care about three rich pricks getting killed, but they don’t give a two shilling shit when a random girl goes missing. What a joke. But hey, that’s Gotham. That’s life.’ He was disgusted, but the darkness in him found it slightly humorous. He look one last drag from his cigarette and shook his head. He took his lighter and burned the news paper with it. When enough of it was burned, he threw it in the trash and put out his cigarette.
Ashe finally woke up. She felt groggy and a little dizzy. Her body felt heavy. ‘What the hell happened? I feel so heavy, the world is spinning.’ As Ashe came to her senses, she remembered everything. ‘Shit, that’s right. I found out about all those awful things he did when I read his diary. Why did I have to be so stupid? I should’ve called the police while he was gone, but I was afraid he could come back at anytime while I was on the phone. I was afraid he would be upset with me and I would’ve made it worse for myself. I’ve got to get out. I have to…’ Ashe felt nauseated from panic and tried to get to the bathroom. She made it inside and her stomach churned. ‘Oh, no. Please not now. Please.’ She vomited just as she made it to the toilet bowl. Some of it got on her, but thankfully most of it ended up in the toilet. Arthur heard her and went to check on her. He saw her sitting on the floor, leaning over the toilet bowl, violently heaving and vomiting. It was so violent tears were streaming down her face and her throat burned. Arthur grabbed a towel. “Ashe! Are you alright?” “No. Please. I don’t want to throw up again. I don’t want-“ another wave of nausea hit, and she vomited again. Arthur held her hair back. After she vomited, the nausea went away. Arthur wiped her face face with the towel. Ashe saw the vomit on her and the floor and cried. “Oh no, It’s everywhere! It was an accident! I swear!” She tried to stand, but felt dizzy. She looked like a wounded animal trying to stand and then fell back down. It hurt Arthur to see her like that. ‘Poor baby. She can’t even stand. It must be from the drug. She’ll be okay.’ “Shhh. It’s alright. I’ll clean it up, babydoll. Don’t worry.” Ashe was finally calming down, realizing Arthur wasn’t mad at her. “I’ll clean this up and give you bath.” While Arthur was thrilled to help her, Ashe didn’t feel the same way. Just when she was thinking it couldn’t get any worse, it did.
Holy SHIT the Fred movie and Joker are almost identical thematically. Like, both protagonists are creepy loners who have deluded themselves into believing they have a hot gf and a famous father figure while all they really have is an abusive mother. The ENTIRE movie visions of their delusions are showcased almost to the point where the line between reality and fiction is nonexistent. The only difference is how these characters are played in their respective movies.
I decited to write from Arthurs view and the girls view.
So it switches.
Arthur and reader
Warnings: Nothing really, mentions of mental illness,
ENJOY :) <3
ARTHUR I just woke up all sweaty in in the middle of the night one more time. My insomnia was getting bad again. I felt like it has been getting worse since mum was at the hospital. I was worried about her condition. I even forgot to take my meds yesterday, which was bad. The pills helped me to find some rest at night. Without them my mind was racing, keeping me awake. Driving me INSANE. I usually started to write in my journal when I couldnt sleep but without my medication there were just black scribbles all over the diary when I looked at the pages. The last time I was off my meds I wrote the whole night through and when I looked in my journal the next morning,there was nothing but blank pages. Nothing. So, there is a reason I shouldnt forget to take them. But too many thoughts ran through my head yesterday, I just didnt thought of anything else. First of all I thought about Penny and if I was the reason she ended up at the hospital. I felt like I am a burden to her. She always told me I was brought into the world to spread joy and laughter. But she doesnt even think i`m funny. Imagin what a disappointment I must be to her.I was born for a reason and I couldnt even fullfill my destiny. This shit really kept me awake. And some other thing… A week ago I just came home from my therapist. And when I was waiting on the tram station, there was this girl in the middle of the crowd. She just kept on staring at me like… I don`t know. She just did. And it kinda scared me.I wasnt used to peope staring at me like that. Usually I was the one observing things around me. Watching people. I always tried to observe. I need it for my jokes. The best jokes are inspired by real life actions. Stuff you see happening on the streets. I also watched people closely to understand what they are laughing about and how they react to jokes. Sometimes I sat on a table at Pogos and made little notes about what I think is important. I really wanted people to like me. I wanted be a light for them. Gotham needs some light. I wanted to be listened to and I wanted to be seen. I`ve got a lot to say but I`ve never talked to others cuz I didn`t knew how to start a conversation. So I watched and learned how others managed to do that. I realized that my timing is a bit off when I laughed at others jokes. I`m wasn`t sure why. I needed to find out. Anyway, I wasn`t used to someone staring at me. I always wished someone did and when I saw that girl I should have been happy that she saw me but I didnt knew what to do about it. I wasnt sure WHY she was looking at me the way she did. If it was for good or for bad reasons. And I guess thats what made me insecure about the whole situation. As soon as I got in the tram I kinda forgot about it but two days later I saw her again. I was standing in the pharmacy and was just about to pay, when I saw her standing outside the window. She was beautiful. There is no doubt it was the same girl. She was looking at me again. I payed and when I turned around she was gone. For a moment there I was scared it might be another episode of hallucinations. That would be really bad. But it could be. I mean… why should a pretty face like her standing there, staring at me TWICE? I`m afraid this isnt really happening. Dr Kane said I should watch out for more hallucinations, especially about girls. So I will.
YOU This city made me sick. It`s beent two weeks since I moved here and already hated it here. It was grey, it smelled and people were rude. I didnt wanted to become one of the peole here. It seemed like it was a bad desicion to move here in the first place, but I couldnt afford to pay rent anymore, so I ended up here, in this really bad neighborhood. I felt like I screwed up my life. Sleep was something I barely remembered. Every night I was lying awake, afraid of someone might brak into my apartment. Like I said… bad neighborhood.You couldnt trust anyone here. A week ago I got so nerveous while trying to sleep that I got up, made some tea and watched out the window. Even at night people walked down the streets, mostly homeless guys. It was one ugly, rainy, cold night. I sipped on my tea and watched the raindrops falling on the dark pavement. Like the whole city was crying out loud. I burned my tongue on the hot cup . I swear I saw someone standing in the window across the street. But it was no one there. Oh great, I thought. Two weeks here in Anderson avenue and you already start to see shadowns at night. But then I saw it again. It wasnt a shadow. It was a man standing in his kitchen, smoking a cigarette. Oh, just a neighbor, no shadows. Good. I realized that I could see most of the kitchen, his curtains were kinda see though. He turned around so I could see his profile. He had almost shoulder long, bown hair, slightly curly, a beautiful jawline and high cheekbones. I could tell from the distance that he was indeed very beautiful. I turnedmy light off to make sure he couldnt see me standing at the window, looking into his. But he didnt looked out the window anyway. It looked like he was talking to someone, but as far as I could tell he was the only one in the room. I watched him puttig down his cigarette as he took off his dark red sweater. I didnt expected him to be this thin. It seemed like he stopped talking and suddenly he started to raise his hands above his head, moving gracefully. He was dancing all alone by himself. In his kitchen. I couldnt help but staring at him and started to feel kinda bad for watching this behind my curtain. But something about him was just so insanly attractive. i stared at his fragile chest, his bony ribs, his messy bed hair. I guess he couldn`t find sleep, just like me. I wondered if he was sleepwalking. The way he moved was extraordinary. Suddenly he stopped. I almost got scared because I was so drawn to his dance moves, it seemed so unnatural to just stop. I took a step back from my window because he came a step closer to his. But he just leaned over the sink now. It looked like he was crying. Something about this hurted my heart. I didnt even knew him but I couldnt help but feeling empathy for this beautiful, fragile man across the street, He was crying harder now. I felt my eyes watering as he slapped his own face. Why would he do that? Then he watched out the window. I was hiding in the corner of my room so fast I guess my curtains moved. I hope he didnt caught me staring. My heart was racing. Was he still there? I waited two minutes till I watched out the window again. He was gone.
ARTHUR I decited to go through the pages again I had written a week ago. I have to figure out why I remembered writing something that wasnt there in the morning. I skipped though the paged and stopped at a page that didnt even looked familir to me. Little drawings of catladies smoking cigs. i don`t remenber drawing this and start to read. “Insomnia is choking me again. It wrappes its strong arms around my neck, smothering me to death. At least thats how it feels while lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. So last night I wandered around the apartment for at least two hours straight. I smoked two packs of cigs as the music started playing in my head again. There is always music in my head, well, most of the time. Sometimes it gets so loud I can`t ignore it anymore. Its just floathing althrough my body, like energy. It holds me in its warm arms and I have to obey. It wanted me to dance again last night, so I moved around the kitchen to the music and it was so tragically beautiful in between the movements it made me do, that it almost started to hurt my body. So I stopped and wished for the sound to stop but it didnt and I just stood there and started to cry. Watching my tears falling into the kitchen sink, like the rain outside. The music still playing in my head. I slapped my face. Hard. Still noisy. I watched out the window. Gotham was crying, too. The city was just as depressed as I was. I swear I could see a shadow in the window across the street. But thats impossible. The neighbors there moved out some weeks ago. Must be my visions again.”
YOU I couldnt stop thinking about the man across the street since I saw him. I watched out the window for so many times but I didnt got to see him for about thee days. But then I saw him crossing the street as I was just about to go buy some food. I know it wasnt the right thing to do but I followed him. I just needed to see him closer. I kept my distance so he won`t notice me. He was walking like someone that just got beaten up, his thin body hidden behind a brown sweater , and a jacket that looked way too huge on his small shoulders. He kept looking to the ground, his brown curls hanging sweaty upon his forehead. Even though his body language looked sad, he still managed to be extremly attractive to me. He was walking to the tram station and waited on his tram to arrive as I tried to be just a face in the crowsd, so I could take a closer look at him. I passed some people standing in the way until I found the right spot. There he was. Just about some foots away from me.And suddenly, as I was staring, he was looking right at me. God, I felt like my heart just sopped. Never ever have I seen more beautiful eyes in my life. So intense, piercing right though me, green but so very sad. I dont know if it was just my mind playing tricks on me but i felt like he caught me staring. I wanted to turn around and leave imediately but his tram arrived and he got in there before I could even react. At night his pretty face appeared in my mind. Againa nd again. I just couldnt get him out of my head.I was closing my eyes, and caught myself dreaming about kissing him. I laughed at myself. Silly girl ! Dreaming about the mysterious new neighbor was such a clishe. But it wouldnt help. I still wanted to get to know him. there was something so mysterious about him. His little dance in the kitchen. The crying at the sink…. his eyes! I thought about ways to just talk to him, I mean we were neigbors, right? I could find a reason to just go to him and say something. But nothing came to my mind. So I decited to follow him one more time. Maybe he would just ran into me and we would talk. Two days later I saw him leaving the house again, so I threw a jacket over my shoulder and got downstairs in a hurry. This time there weren`t much people around so it was even harder for me to follow him without getting caught. Something about watching him started to turn me on.It was fun to fantasize about someone who didnt even knew you existed. But at the same time I wanted him to know that I exist. Maybe not yet but… He went to the pharmacy. I stopped outside. I thought about going in and pretend I wanted to buy something. But I forgot my purse so this would have been embarrassing. I saw him from behind, his blue pants looked baggy on him. Everything did. And just when I thought this was a good situation to stalk him, he turned around again and I knew he saw me. He looked me right into my eyes! I captured the moment he looked at me in my mind and tought about it in the afternoon, when I was lying in my bed, dreaming about touching his beautiful face. Soon he became my fave fantasie. I couldnt even find pleasure in any other daydream anymore. He was my sexy secret and I liked it that way. But I just knew that soon this wouldnt be enough. I had to get closer. I wanted him to see me. Not just from across the street. I wanted to get to know him as a person. I needed to know his story, I needed to know why he was so sad.
ARTHUR I just couldnt figure out my very own diary anymore. Something definitaly went wrong at the moment. I guess all the lonelyness got too much. I mean, I must have been used to this but i wasnt. It got harder every day of my life. I wished for someone to love me so much that I had visions about girls. I tend to get them a lot but then it stopped for a while and now it seemed to start again. I was kinda worried about my condition and took two more pills today. I knew I shouldnt but I thought it would be better than forgetting to take them again. The slight overdose made me sweat a lot so I was in underwear only for the whole day, just lying on the coouch, watching all my fave episodes of teh Murray Franklin show. The only thing that made me stay up was going to the kitchen to make some coffe. I watched out the window while waiting for the water to bowl. There she was again. the girls I saw at the tram stationa nd at the pharmacy. She was crossing the street. I checked my forehead for fever. I was burning up. Must be the overdose. “She`s not really there” I whispered to myself “Arthur, she`s not real, don`t even look”. But I looked. And I could swear she was looking up my window before she headed to my house. I blushed. But I guess that was also caused by the fever. God, she looked like an angel. Such a sweet girl. She would never even give me a look in real life. I knew that. And if she did… I wouldn´t even know what to do. I`ve never been with a woman before in my whole life. I never even kissed someone before. I`m just a loner. All I have are my fantasies. And Dr Kane wants to take them away from me,too. Maybe I should just give in and accept them. What if it wasnt a hallucination this time? What if this girl really saw me? What if?
You I did it. I wrote him a postcard. I held the card in my hands for like an hour and stared at it. I thought I wasnt brave enough to actually throw it in his letter box. But I did.I sneaked into the house and when I was standing in front of the letter boxes I wondered which one could be his. Thank god some lady just got out of the elevator and I asked her which letter box belongs to the window with the thin curtain. And she told me that they belong to apartment 8J. It just took me about some seconds to find the right box. P. FLECK. There it was. FLECK. I threw my postcard in without giving it a second thought, otherwise I would have changed my mind. I was heading back home, blushing.
ARTHUR I woke up with a bad headache. Another appointment with Dr. Kane. I wanted to take a bath but I was too lazy and decited to let it be. I just brushed my hair back, lighted a cig and went out the house. I checked the letter box and hoped for a letter from Thomas Wayne, I mean, I knew there wouldnt be one but it would make my mother happy so I still hoped for it. Somehow she was obsessed with Wayne and I didnt even knew why. My heart just skipped a beat as I saw an hand written postcard. Wayne? I started reading it. “Dear mysetrious stranger, You don`t know who I am but I saw you out on the streets some days ago and I think I fell in love with you. I even dreamed about you at night. I really hope you`re doing fine. Kisses The girl who loves you”
I just kept staring at the letters. I rubbed my eyes. the letters were still there. The girl who loves you. I must have blushed. Was this real? I let my fingers slide over the paper. It felt real. I turned the card around. A plain red heart on white background. I touched it so many times and hoped for a proof that this was eighter real or a dream. Sometimes I am not sure anymore. Who would ever send me a card? I searched for a stamp. None. Someone must have threw it in the letter boy by themself. The girl ! The girl I saw on the street. Now it all made sense to me. Was she following me? I smiled. The thought of this pretty girl having a crush on me was wonderful. But I got scared at the same time. I could never get up and talk to her. How could I? I bet she thinks I am some sexy guy who knows how to get it on. She was dreaming about me? What dreams? I imagined her touching herself while thinking about me and I giggled to myself. “Nahh she wouldnt do that” I said to myself. Reading the postcard again “Or would you, sweet strange girl?” I put the postcard close to my heart. Her fingers must have touched the paper all over when she was writing me these lines. Does she want to touchme with those fingers? Oh I would love to touch her fingers. But what if she ever comes up to me personally and I would just stand there, frozen. Not a word coming out of my mouth? The thought of this scared me a lot. My biggest fear was to laugh in her presence.The laugh that wasnt really one. My condition. That would scare her away for sure. I felt my eyes watering and a tear fell on the postcard, right on the word “kisses”. It smeared, which made me even sadder. I needed this card to be perfect. I felt the urge to laugh coming up my throath. But then something else came to my mind. What if I showed the card to Dr. Kane? She could proof to me that this card truly exists. The urge to laugh was gone. I put the card into my paper bag and hurried up to see Dr. Kane.
“Hello, Arthur. How have you been thoughthe last week? Any negative thoughts?” Dr Kane was repeating her same old questions again as I smoked my cig. Next thing would be asking me about my journal. BUT I would have something much more interesting with me this time. “I brought something with me today” I said as I grabbed the card. “I wondered if you could take a look and tell me what you think about this?” Dr Kane took the card out of my hands. She read it. “Who gave it to you, Arthur?” “The girl who loves me” Dr Kane gave me that look “Arhur…” “Well… it says `The girl who loves you ` there at the end, right? "Right” “So, you see it too?” “Sure, Arthur” She gives me the card back. I smiled. It was real. The card was real. Which meant the girl was real,too. No hallucinations. No visions. “Good” “So someone send it to you?” “I found it in my letter box, it has no stamp” “No stamp? Are you sure you didnt wrote it yourself?” she looked confused. I bet she couldnt imagin someone falling in love me me eighter. “Dr Kane, you know how my handwriting looks like.” “Right. Can I see it again?” I gave her the card back. Her eyes are focused on it. “No typos” she whispered to herself. “Looks like someone really likes you, Arthur. Be careful” “W-what do you mean?” “You know that you sometimes… well… you tend to lose sense of reality sometimes. It could be difficult to meet up with a girl for you”. I put the card back in my bag. “You think I couldnt handle it to have a girlfriend?” “Thats not what I said…” “It is exactly what you said” I got up and left the room. “See you next week, Dr Kane. I cant do this today” I got back home and placed the card under my pillow. I wanted to sleep on it. It was the first love note I ever got and felt so special. I grabbed my Pjs out of my wardrobe and looked at the red suit hanging in there. I never put it on by now. I always felt like it is waiting for a special event in my life. But nothing special ever happens. Until now. The card. the love note. The girl. I grab the suit and walk to the mirror. Holding it in front of my body to see how it would look like on me. I felt so insecure when thinking about dating a girl. I didnt knew how to react in front of her. Maybe the suit would help? I shook my head. Nahh. Just a stupid thought. Back in bed I imagined how it would be to have a girlfriend. To go out on dates with her, walking hand in hand across the streets. I bet Gotham wouldnt be half as bad as if its now. Sharing my life with someone. My bed. Having someone to cuddle with at night. Someone to calm down my bouncing leg. Someone to have sex with, It would be sweet. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
YOU Its been a day since I threw the card in the letter box. No answer. Of course not. He didnt even knew who I was. I watched out the window and hoped to see him in his apartment again. I got lucky this time. I saw him lying on the couch watching tv. He wora a cosy PJ and looked so cute in it. Still sexy though. I could eat him up. I wish I could just go over, knock on his door and tell him that i am the girl who send him the card. I wonder if he even got it yet. maybe he didnt open the letter box since then. I saw him smoking, writing down some notes. I tried to see more details of the living room. There was a clown mask and a costume hanging beside a mirror. It seemed like he had a thing for clowns, which made me think. maybe I`ll have a lil surprise for him… I searched through my stuff and found the big, red flower that used to be part of a Clown outfit I was wearing years ago when I dressed up with my best friends. It looked brand new. Maybe he would like it. I put a little note on it and decited to put it in front of his door. Tomorrow. I couldn`t wait. The next morning I got out of bed early, to wait till he got out of the house. When he did I sneaked into the house and waited till someone came out again, which lastet at least 50 minutes but it was worth it. I got in the elevator and walked to the door which said 8J. I hold my breath for a second. That was were he lived. He walked through that door every day. I wish I could just walk through it and go into his apartment.Looking though his stuff. I was a bit shamed of myself for having those kinda feelings. I felt like a stalker. But I couldnt stop my own thoughts from wanting him. I put the big plush Flower down on the doormat and touched the door knob. Just to touch it. To touch what he touched some about an hour ago. It felt sexy.
ARTHUR I just came home from work at Haha`s and felt drained. It was a long day. I got out of the elevator and saw something lying on my doormat. A big, red plush flower. Like one for clowns! My heart jumped when I picked it up. There was a little note saying “Dear stranger, if you want to meet me , I`ll be at the little fountain in the park today at 7 O`Clock . The one with the litlle bird stature. It would be a pleasure to get to know you better. Kisses, The girl who loves you”
I bit my lips. Another note. She wanted to meet me. My hands were shaking while reading the note one more time. I actually was shaking so much I had troubles to get my keys into the lock. I threw my jacket on the couch, sat down and pressed the plushy flower to my chest. It felt so soft to the touch. A present. I never got presents. Not even when I was a kid or on my birthdays. Everything about this felt so special. I wanted to meet her so bad but at the same time I was so scared about meeting her, I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my reflection. I looked tired. Drained. Like someone sucked the life out of my. Heavy bags under my yes, from not getting enough sleep. I brushed my hair back. Better. At least a lil bit. I checked the time and realized it was already after 5 O`clock. I got no time to waste. Should I really go there? Or was Dr Kane right?
YOU I got ready for my potential date. I didnt even knew if he would show up but i hoped so. I dressed up in my usual clothes. I wanted to be my authentic self around him. I was already waiting on the spot 30 minutes too early. I just couldnt wait any longer. I needed to know if he would come. I wanted to get to know him so bad.
ARTHUR Alright, I could never forgive myself if i wouldnt take the chance, so I decited to show up. I took a bath to feel fresh, washed my hair and put on some nice clothes. Not the red suit though. I picked dark red pants, a matching vest and a white shirt under it. I hope I looked decent in it and bought some roses before I made my way to the park. I bought them from the last dollars I had but I didnt cared. I wanted to give her some nice flowers. Gotham looked different today while watching out of the trams window. Less dark and depressing. But I guess it was just me feeling better as usual. I just wanted it to be a nice date. I just wanted her to like me for who I am. I got out of the tram, walking into the park. I saw her from a distance already. There was just one person standing at the fountain, so it must have been her. She was so beautiful, I couldnt belive she was waiting FOR ME. My hands holding the roses started to get all sweaty and I wiped them off on my pants. I stumbled right in front of her as I arrived and the flowers fell out of my hands. "Ooooppps…I`m…I`m so sorry.. I….“ my nervousness killed me. She similed at me as I picked up the flowers and handed them to her "I….um….brought you…som..something…um…” I stuttered. She gave me the sweetest hug “Thats so sweet of you…? Um… I don`t even know your name” she was blushing. “Arthur. My name is Arthur.” “Hey Arthur. I`m Y/N. Nice to meet you. Thank ou so much for the roses. They`re beautiful”. “Yeah… thank you for the notes…I don`t know what to say…you`re beautiful”. Y/N smiled from cheek to cheek. “Thank you, Arthur. Would you like to take a walk though the park and get some coffee later? It would be a nice way to get to know each other. What do you think?” “I think this sounds just wonderful”. She gently wrapped her arm around my waist as we were walking though the park. It was a late summer evening and for the first time ever I noticed the birds singing. The music in my head stopped. Maybe Gotham wasn`t as bad after all.
Hi, thank you for the support on part 3, I hope you enjoy! <3
Summary: A lovestory between Arthur Fleck and Harleen Quinzel, set right after the events of the Joker movie so you could see it as a sequel of the movie.
Word count: 2.703
Trigger warnings: violence, blood
silent, just staring ahead at the wall in front of him, careful to avoid any
eye contact with the other inmates. He felt nauseated, his lunch tray in front
of him was still untouched. He needed to calm down; it was only a matter of
time until the level of stress would trigger another laughing fit, and if that
He took a
there”, a deep voice crooned into his ear; the man was so close that Arthur
could feel his hot, stale breath against his neck. His stomach twisted in fear.
He didn’t answer, just hunched a little closer in a desperate but futile try to
someone drooled from down the table, “I heard one of the guards talking about
look the part”, another inmate chimed in.
clownface”, the man right behind Arthur seethed, leaning slightly forward to
have a look at him.
what?”, the guy spoke up, so that everyone sitting nearby could hear him.
Conversations around them were coming to a pause to watch the exchange in
anticipation of what would certainly follow. Waiting for Arthur to make that
one wrong move and see how it would end for the newly famous joker. Arthur was
sure they’d all seen his live performance on the Murray Franklin Show.
now, I totally wish they’d let you put on that clown-makeup in here. Would be
much better than seeing your ugly face”, the man continued his sneering at
Arthur. And Arthur totally agreed. There was nothing he wished to do more that
moment than to hide again behind the Joker’s mask. He still stared ahead, his
clammy hands gripping his knees in order to stop them from shaking. Laughter
began bubbling up his throat, but the man behind him was faster.
quick movement, he’d grabbed Arthur’s white overall and yanked him backwards
with a sheer force that knocked the wind out of Arthur’s lungs.
With a thump,
Arthur landed on his back, the impact with the cold linoleum-floor sending an
agonizing flash of pain through his broken ribs. His vision went white for a
split second and the scream of pain was stifled by a gush of laughter. Arthur
knew: if he fainted, he’d never wake up again.
white flashes of pain subsided and his vision began to clear, he could finally
see his attacker, and simultaneously wished he hadn’t. The man was huge, burly,
the type of guy who had to make an effort to fit through a door.
inmate’s fist connected with Arthur’s jaw, the sheer force sending Arthur a few
metres backward until his head hit the back wall of the room with a crack and
again, his vision blurred. But the man had only started, slowly strolling
toward Arthur’s form with the gait of a man who knew he’d win this fight and do
it in front of an audience cheering for him, even if everyone knew it wasn’t a
fight if the other couldn’t defend himself.