#asexual problems Tumblr posts

  • Dear  - ,

    I am a romantic person, I am a sensual person.

    I want us to hold hands during our walks discovering our town (local shops, flower shops, libraries, museums, bookshops, cafes etc.) as well as nature medows, forests, animals, flowers) and I would smile because for the first time in forever somebody would not be embarrassed to be seen with me. I want us to wake up early just see sunrise because I think the sunsets are overrated. To watch the new start of hope and endless possibilities. Although I would watch sunset with you because I know how you like them.

    I want us to sit on a sofa in your/mine flat and read. From time to time you or I would read aloud a passage that we find the most interesting and then we would talk about them while drinking a cup of hot tea or chocolate and eat cake of muffin. We would talk about everything and anything, we would be telling each other jokes - you would laugh and I would be looking at you utterly clueless because I hardly ever get the jokes. I want to cuddle on the same sofa while watching an interesting movie or TV show. I would probably fall asleep because I am not a night owl and you would carry me to bed (even though I am not light).

    I want us to slow dance to a nice music, smiling at one another at night, light coming from candles. Or we could be crazy dancing. Because god knows I stop being scared about your opinion. Or we could play cards, or scrabble. The small touches - reassurence of love - every time, any time.

    I want us to cook or bake together because I think that that’s the best way to show love and affection to people. I want to wash the dirtiness from your face and smile at you. And I want you to do the same. But at some point I want us to food fight.

    Speaking of fights - I want to argue over songs, movies - never of cheating, or jealousy or politics.

    I want us to travel the world (when it’s not in the middle of the pandemic). I want to get to know those cultures with you because there’s nobody in the world who I would want that with more than you. The photos of the places we have been and what we have seen, the short funny stories - let’s be honest, mostly mine.

    You would always have my back and I yours because I am the most loyal person you’ve ever met.

    I want to look at my life and see the neverending laugh, happiness, peace - not only mine but also yours. 

    However, it doesn’t matter what I want. Because you can’t see past the fact that I am not a sexual person. You decided that all I’ve written above isn’t really worth it without sex. You focus on the only thing I can’t give you even though I would k*ll for being able to do just that.

    Love always

    x

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  • Why can’t I be normal?! Why can’t my body act normal?!

    #asexual problems#internalised aphobia #dear diary I'm getting tired #sex repulsed #i want to be normal
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  • Weird story of the day!

    So my therapist and I have been working on interacting with people outside of work or family. This has not been going well until today.

    Today I was going home when the neighbor across the street waved me over to talk. He asked me to knit him a hat, so I didn’t see the harm in talking.

    We talked about his hat and family things. Until he asked me to “come hang out sometime” while looking me up and down.

    All I wanted to do was physically embody these

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    Originally posted by wingedsnek


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    Originally posted by nardacci-does-art

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  • I am constantly at battle with myself and projecting onto characters that I love. I, myself, am asexual and have identified as such for a few years now! I also am ADHD and autistic. I am also non-binary. A lot of ppl on this site hate when autistic ppl are desexualized, and it definitely is a big problem. The infantilisation of autistic and adhd ppl is too frequent and harmful. But when I want to headcanon or imagine one of my favourite characters as ace and autistic/adhd (like myself) I feel as though I am contributing to the problem, even though the “stereotype” is my reality.

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  • I feel torn about my strong love and desire for romance and men. I like getting attention and compliments from guys, but I worry about not be accepted on a date or in a relationship since my kind of mind is less common in multiple ways. I know dudes find me attractive and like the real me if we chat, but they usually ignore or deny it when I tell them I’m not into sex and don’t experience sexual attraction. I’ve been rejected for it before and know I will again if I choose to be honest about how I think and prioritize loving myself for the way I am over having any boyfriends or possibly ever a husband.

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    Originally posted by lukas-musings

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  • As someone who’s never been in a relationship and identifies as aroace… I really enjoy touch. Hugs, cuddles, etc. It’s taken a while to realize this. It’s nice, comforting, and makes me happy.

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  • Ace people: *have memes about how cake is better than sex*

    Tiktokers: Cake is now slang for ass lol

    Ace people, screaming: wEll WhAt dO We dO nOW

    #ace problems#asexual#asexual problems#ace memes#asexual memes #asexual memes now: lamps are better than sex i guess
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  • “If you’re sex-positive, why do you care so much that you’re asexual? Why not call yourself something else so people want to sleep with you?”

    Well. Because I’m ace my sex drive is pretty low. One night stands don’t really have any appeal to me, because then it’s just sex for the sake of sex, which doesn’t sound good to me.

    It’s the concept of having sex with a long-term companion that has the most appeal to me. Even if we aren’t and/or don’t end up actually dating, if it’s someone I love and trust, I wouldn’t mind even casual sex with them.

    That’s where my asexuality comes into play. It changes how I think about sexual intimacy. It’s less just a fun thing to do, it’s a way of bonding on a deep level with someone I care about.

    So yeah, it still matters a lot to me that I’m asexual, it’s still a big part of my identity, sex-positivity be damned.

    (I still wouldn’t call this demisexuality, because my viewpoint on sex doesn’t truly change once I get to know the person better. But from what I hear demisexuals feel in a very similar way, so if you’re demi and can relate ily 💕)

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  • I was gonna paint my nails the demisexual colors but then I remembered I don’t have gray nail polish :/

    #demisexual#demi problems#asexual#asexual problems #i don't think i have the right purple either
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    Demisexual pride!!

    Pride month art challenge - Jun 9

    Cerberus, my OC, the guardian of the Gates of Hell, and completely tired of the Devil’s flirting.

    She has a human form and her demon form, the latter is which is represented by the traditional three headed dog. She’s also tired of the Devil’s dog jokes.

    Panromantic demisexual, but currently she’s just focused on her job and not interested in anyone, romantically or otherwise, and she’s satisfied with that.

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  • I’ve started questioning if I might be biromantic and I’ve just been so imprinted with societal expectations that I wrote off my crushes on girls as Friendship Things but I’m asexual so it’s hard to know like I don’t want to Touch girls but I don’t really want to do so with boys either but I think I have a higher tolerance for imagining doing things with boys since society has accustomed me to that after seeing it everywhere all the time

    #asexual problems#asexual#ace#biromantic#bisexual#lgbtq #the few sexdreama I've had have always been about women #what does it all mean #lgbt
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  • So I’m asexual and I have a boyfriend which is Chocking I know and I know I’m different from like the general population but I’m sick and tired of the Sexulas Thing were I’m away from my boyfriend for any longer amount of time every time I talk to anyone about him they’re like How long until he comes to visit? It MUST be SOON right? You must miss him terribly! and I’m like no we haven’t planned anything yet I do miss him but we talk on the phone all the time so I’m fine and the response is always this thinly veiled: Strong girl Strong Strong girl I Know the Truth you foolishly try to hide you Crave the Penis CRAVE it I Know! and like HOW is one supposed to handle that???? I sure don’t feel like telling Everyone I’m ace you know 

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  • i keep repeating the words from my previous post to myself. then i think about if i should say it aloud to other people (more than my best mate). i fear telling my family, as i know they won’t understand it and i will just feel invalidated all over again (as is what happened with my mental illness). i thought about telling my younger sister (who would take it the best) when she was here recently, but i got anxious just thinking about fitting it into conversation. i want to be proud of the fact i am asexual. and i am, but i know that misunderstanding and misjudgment will hurt. and i know it will be coming from those close to me. there is no easy way to do this, if i decide to say anything at all. for now i will just say it to myself and that is enough (and arguably one of the hardest parts of coming out). self, hear me loud and clear: i am asexual. it’s fine. i’m okay.

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  • That moment when media tries to get you with the ‘hot’ people and your just there like, sure you’re attractive but not in the ‘I would tap that’ kinda way.

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  • Me: Virginity is purely a social construct. While it may be important to some people because of their personal beliefs, it doesn’t really mean anything beyond that. Whether or not a person has or hasn’t had sex is about as important to who they are as whether they have or haven’t driven a car, or been on an aeroplane.

    Me: I am asexual and my sex favourability varies day to day from ‘I could probably put up with it if my partner wanted to have sex’ to 'I could never do it and would find it totally unbearable’. Since I don’t even have a partner at the moment, there is no reason whatsoever for me to have sex any time soon.


    Also me: Fuck, I’m going to HAVE to have sex at least once within the next couple of years so as to lose my virginity.

    #asexuality#ace#aroace#virginity #seriously i love how there are people out there #who are allosexual but feel like they can't have sex because virginity #and then there's me #with the exact opposite problem #to be clear this isn't something i think about very often #but i hate the fact that it crosses my mind at all #like well done societal attitudes towards sex #this *definitely* isn't totally fucked up #like i could maybe see myself having sex one day #but i hate the idea that #‘losing my virginity’ could ever be the reason why #sex#sex mention #double standards towards myself #internalised aphobia
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  • Good morning I saw an ace exclusionist post on my feed when I woke up and it pissed me off so I reblogged a bunch of pro ace posts enjoy !

    #itsalmost like.........exclusionist posts hurr people???? #and ace discourse fucked me up fpr years??????? #feeling like i would never find a love that would accept me as me in that way?????????? huh #funny that #and im not saying therearebt issues within ace communities #or even that things like split attraction model dont hurt people #because well they do #but treating aces shitty and blaming whole communities for these problems just isnt the solution? #and again #hurts and fucks with people #also maybe exaiming the lgbt communities relationahip to sex may not be a......bad thing #anyway im asexual and an inclusionist die mad about it #hannah makes a text post
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