Solo: Hey, so, is El OK?
Erdrick: Dunno, haven’t seen him.
Byleth: Well what the bloody hell happened then?
Eight: Zoom problems, you know, the move where there’s a high risk of concussion for us?
Kazooie: Yeah, I saw what happened.
Terry: Same, Ren was freaking the hell out.
Banjo: I swear, Cloud is high-
*door blasts open. Joker is just stood there carrying Eleven.*
Terry: So what happened?
Joker: Dr. Mario said he has had a concussion.
Solo: Well shit- *gets whacked by chancla*
Erdrick: *mexican accent* Don’t.
Joker: And he also has a sprained ankle too.
Terry: What the ever-loving f*ck does that mean
Erdrick: *sCReAmS InTErNAlLY iN mEXiCAn*
Eleven: It means I can’t walk and also have brain damage.
You couldn’t pack a Broadwood half a mile—
You mustn’t leave a fiddle in the damp—
You couldn’t raft an organ up the Nile,
And play it in an Equatorial swamp.
I travel with the cooking-pots and pails—
I’m sandwiched ’tween the coffee and the pork—
And when the dusty column checks and tails,
You should hear me spur the rearguard to a walk!
With my ‘Pilly-willy-winky-winky-popp!’
[Oh, it’s any tune that comes into my head!]
So I keep ’em moving forward till they drop;
So I play ’em up to water and to bed.
In the silence of the camp before the fight,
When it’s good to make your will and say your prayer,
You can hear my strumpty-tumpty overnight,
Explaining ten to one was always fair.
I’m the Prophet of the Utterly Absurd,
Of the Patently Impossible and Vain—
And when the Thing that Couldn’t has occurred,
Give me time to change my leg and go again.
With my ‘Tumpa-tumpa-tumpa-tumpa-tump!’
In the desert where the dung-fed camp-smoke curled.
There was never voice before us till I led our lonely chorus,
I—the war-drum of the White Man round the world!
By the bitter road the Younger Son must tread,
Ere he win to hearth and saddle of his own,—
’Mid the riot of the shearers at the shed,
In the silence of the herder’s hut alone—
In the twilight, on a bucket upside down,
Hear me babble what the weakest won’t confess—
I am Memory and Torment—I am Town!
I am all that ever went with evening dress!
With my ‘Tunka-tunka-tunka-tunka-tunk!’
[So the lights—the London Lights—grow near and plain!]
So I rowel ’em afresh towards the Devil and the Flesh
Till I bring my broken rankers home again.
In desire of many marvels over sea,
Where the new-raised tropic city sweats and roars,
I have sailed with Young Ulysses from the quay
Till the anchor rumbled down on stranger shores.
He is blooded to the open and the sky,
He is taken in a snare that shall not fail,
He shall hear me singing strongly, till he die,
Like the shouting of a backstay in a gale.
With my ‘Hya! Heeya! Heeya! Hullah! Haul!’
[Oh, the green that thunders aft along the deck!]
Are you sick o’ towns and men? You must sign and sail again,
For it’s ‘Johnny Bowlegs, pack your kit and trek!’
Through the gorge that gives the stars at noon-day clear—
Up the pass that packs the scud beneath our wheel—
Round the bluff that sinks her thousand fathom sheer—
Down the valley with our guttering brakes asqueal:
Where the trestle groans and quivers in the snow,
Where the many-shedded levels loop and twine,
Hear me lead my reckless children from below
Till we sing the Song of Roland to the pine!
With my ‘Tinka-tinka-tinka-tinka-tink!’
[Oh, the axe has cleared the mountain, croup and crest!]
And we ride the iron stallions down to drink,
Through the cañons to the waters of the West!
And the tunes that mean so much to you alone—
Common tunes that make you choke and blow your nose—
Vulgar tunes that bring the laugh that brings the groan—
I can rip your very heartstrings out with those;
With the feasting, and the folly, and the fun—
And the lying, and the lusting, and the drink,
And the merry play that drops you, when you’re done.
To the thoughts that burn like irons if you think.
With my ‘Plunka-lunka-lunka-lunka-lunk!’
Here’s a trifle on account of pleasure past,
Ere the wit that made you win gives you eyes to see your sin
And—the heavier repentance at the last!
Let the organ moan her sorrow to the roof—
I have told the naked stars the Grief of Man!
Let the trumpet snare the foeman to the proof—
I have known Defeat, and mocked it as we ran!
My bray ye may not alter nor mistake
When I stand to jeer the fatted Soul of Things,
But the Song of Lost Endeavour that I make,
Is it hidden in the twanging of the strings?
With my ‘Ta-ra-rara-rara-ra-ra-rrrp!’
[Is it naught to you that hear and pass me by?]
But the word—the word is mine, when the order moves the line
And the lean, locked ranks go roaring down to die!
The grandam of my grandam was the Lyre—
[Oh, the blue below the little fisher-huts!]
That the Stealer stooping beachward filled with fire,
Till she bore my iron head and ringing guts!
By the wisdom of the centuries I speak—
To the tune of yestermorn I set the truth—
I, the joy of life unquestioned—I, the Greek—
I, the everlasting Wonder-song of Youth!
With my ‘Tinka-tinka-tinka-tinka-tink!’
[What d’ye lack, my noble masters! What d’ye lack?]
So I draw the world together link by link:
Yea, from Delos up to Limerick and back!
Source: A Choice of Kipling’s Verse (1943)
Banjo history with Don McLean
(From Don McClean’s Youtube channel)
A Mean Mary Special - Live
Kazooie: Shout out to people who DON’T hurt my feelings.
Piranha Plant: Ok, worm.
Kazooie: You’re my greatest enemy. I will add a single grain of sand to your room every day until you succumb to the desert.
Banjo: Love you, Kazooie, thank you for making me laugh and smile. I don’t know how often you hear this, but thank you.
Kazooie: You’re my best friend. I will add a single grain of sand to your room every day until you succumb to the desert.
Yooooo who likes BANJO as much as I do?
This might be the only AC banjo cover in existence. What a gem.
I want a banjo concerto in the style of Rachmaninoff.
Snake: Have you come up with code names?
Eight: My name is Tom Ato.
Kazooie: Well, my name is Ann Chovi.
Banjo: And I’m Caesar Salad.
by Alexx’ on Flickr.Tuareg man singing in the Algerian Sahara.
Diddy/DK: (Excitedly Made Their Way into the Mansion’s Living) Guys! Guys! You would not believe what we got! Oh my god!
Kazooie: (Texting While Laying the Back of her Head On Banjo’s Shoulder, Rolling her Eyes) Please don’t tell me it’s a year supply of bananas again…..
DK: (‘Scoffs’) No, Kazooie. We didn’t get another box of bananas. (Yet…..)
Banjo: What is it, you guys?
Diddy: Check it out! (Excitedly Shows Banjo and Kazooie Three SNES Gaming Cartridges) Video Games of our past adventures!! Donkey Kong Country!
Banjo: (Already in Awe at the Sight of the Cartridges) Woah……..
Kazooie: The whole trilogy, huh? (Smirk a Little) Neat. I take it you guys got from a nearby game store?
DK: (Nodded Excitedly) It was laying around there with our faces on it. Of course we had to buy these bad boys and play them here!
Diddy: I’m already seeing it now….. Zapping across jungle to jungle, pulverizing K. Rool and Kremlings in their own game, and all while obtaining the best reward ever known to men…..
DK: (Pumps Two of his Fist into the Air) Our Bananas Hoard!!!
Kazooie: (Rolls Her Eyes Once More) Ah yes. How can we ever forget your obsession of keeping a cave full of uneaten bananas safe?
DK: ('Scoffs’) Honestly…. I’m not that obsessed over it. I’ll have you know that our banana hoards are in good hands………….(Whispers into Diddy’s Ear) Diddy, remind me to call Cranky later…..
Diddy: We’ll worry about all of that later, big guy. Let’s just set back and play our games for now, yeah?
DK: (Sighs in Defeat before Slowly Smiling) Yeah…. You’re right, little buddy. I mean, these are our games we’re playing here! It just might be the best thing ever known to-
Couple of Levels Later…….
DK: (Eyes Widened) …….Well…….(Let his Controller Drop) That was something….
Diddy: Geez….I know we expected a challenge, but I had no idea this would be this hard………
Kazooie: (Shrugged) Maybe it’s because of difficulty spike curve….
Banjo: (Turns to DK) Were your adventures back in the day was always this hard and intense or……
DK: Nah. I don’t think so, Banjo my mam. I mean, sure, we may have gotten into some neat death situations here and there, but we always made it through….. Somehow. B-But you know, maybe I’m just getting a bit rusty here. (Picks Back up.his Controller) I’m sure in a couple of Levels, I’ll be just-
More Levels Later……..
DK: (Throws the Controller Down in Frustration) Damnit!! So close!
Diddy: Kazooie, I think you were right about this game having difficulty spike curves…….
Game Over Shows up on Screen
Diddy: (Pouts at the Game Over Screen) Ah man….We already got Game Over and everything….
DK: I know, right? I don’t remember any of us getting beaten up like that!
Banjo: (Frowns Sadly at the Screen) Aww….. You guys look so sad and hurt in the screen…..
Diddy: (Hugs Banjo Arm on his Side) Don’t worry, buddy. We’re here. We’re okay.
Kazooie: (Gently and Affectionately Ruffles the top of Banjo’s Hair on her Side) Yeah, 'hon. Try not to let it get to you, okay?
Banjo: ('Sniff’) Okay.
DK: ('Sigh’) You know what? Forget this. (Takes the First DK Out of the SNES) I don’t need to beat this game to prove I beat K. Rool where he stand. (Smiles Proudly while Chuckling) I Banana Slamma’d that crazy croc out of that ship so hard that he might’ve saw stars!
Diddy: (Gives DK an Unimpressed Look) Not funny, big guy.
Kazooie: (Gives DK an Unimpressed Look as Well) Didn’t even make us chuckle.
DK: ('Ugh’) Whatever. Can we just play the next game now?
Diddy: Alright….(Picks up the Next Game From the Coffee Table and Takes a Quick Look at it) Huh. Looks like my game’s up next.
Kazooie: Your game?
Diddy: (Smiles Brightly) Yep. My Quest! (Chuckles Lightly) I’m guessing it was when Dixie and I saved DK from K. Rool and his actual band of pirates.
Banjo: Who’s Dixie?
Diddy: My cute girlfriend.
Banjo/Kazooie: (Eyes Widened Genuinely Surprised) Girlfriend?
Kazooie: (Gives Diddy a Playful Smirk) Well, I be damned, Diddy. We didn’t know you got yourself a Lady-Friend?~
Diddy: (Chuckles Lightly while Blushing a Little) Yeah….. We’ve been dating for a long while now, you know? You guys should meet her. She’s so cool.
Banjo: (Smiles Brightly) I wouldn’t mind that in the sightest, my friend.
Kazooie: Double Date it is then. But before we do anything else….(Turns to Donkey Kong) I wanna know how this gorilla right here got himself kidnapped.
DK: Hey! It’s not like I wanted to get myself captured or anything. It happened out of nowhere!…..Or at least I think that what happened….
Diddy: I’m sure we can worry about all of that later, you guys. Right now, I wanna see how this baby plays out. (Put the Game into the System) And who knows? Maybe this one might be a little more easier than the first one-
Few Levels Later…..
Diddy: Never mind. (Let his Controller Drop on the Floor) It’s not even close of being easy.
DK: (Picks the Controller Up) Relax, little buddy. This guy got this-
Three Levels Later-
DK: This game is even harder than the first one! (Throws the Controller Down in Frustration) How is that even possible?!!
Kazooie: They really wanted to give you an actual challenge, huh?
Diddy: ('Sigh’) Let’s just get to the final game of the trilogy already…..(Picks up the Final Cartridge from the Table and Takes a Look at it) Looks like Dixie’s the main character in this one. It’s called “Dixie Kong’s Double Trouble”
Banjo: (Noticed another Kong right beside Dixie on the Cartridge) Who’s the fella over there?
Diddy: Oh that’s Kiddy Kong. Dixie’s younger cousin I think?
DK: Ah man. Diddy, I remember now. This was when those saved us from K. Rool that one time.
Kazooie: (Slowly but Surely Turn to Donkey in a Somewhat Irritated Look) How the hell did you got yourself kidnapped by a narcissist of a king TWICE in a row?
Kazooie: I mean, I can understand why he kidnapped Diddy since he’s a bit if a pipsqueak…..
Kazooie: But you?!……. You’re supposed to be the Biggest, Fastest, and Strongest member of the DK crew! Or at that’s what your stupid rap song says about you!!
DK: (Glares at Kazooie) Hey! I am all those things! And the DK Rap is the best rap song ever known to man! I worked hard writing the lyrics and everything!
Banjo: Guys, come on. Knock it off. (Turns to Kazooie) Kazooie don’t be hard on him for this.
DK: Tell her, Banjo!
Banjo: There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a Damsel in Distress.
DK: Yeah!- Wait. WHAT?! Banjo, I ain’t a Damsel in Distress! I’m practically the kings of the jungles!!
Kazooie: (Rolled her Eyes) Highly doubt that the “King of the Jungles” would ever get himself kidnapped by a crocodile twice. Let alone someone who’s supposedly punch a moon out of orbit once. ('Scoffs’) Probably made that one up too.
And with that, DK and Kazooie began to argue with one another, with Banjo trying to calm them down in between.
Diddy: ('Sigh’) Welp. This is already a disaster.
Diddy: (Picks up his Phone from the Table and Takes the Call) Yello?
???: (From the Other Line) Hello? Diddy?
Diddy: (Smiles Brightly once He Immediately Recognize that Voice) Dixie! Is that really you?!
Dixie: (Giggles Softly) In the flesh~ How ya doing, 'hon?
Diddy: Pretty good, not gonna lie. How about you and the jungle?
Dixie: We’re doing good at our end. Not a lot of Kremlings set foot here lately. So that’s a good thing.
Diddy: You kidding? That’s great news! This place can gain a lot more bananas than it did before.
Dixie: (Giggles Once More) Yeah. That would be pretty great. Speaking of which, how’s DK doing lately?
Diddy: (Takes One Look at Donkey Kong, Still Arguing with Kazooie, Before Looking Away) It’s doing fine. Oh! Dixie, I meant to tell you. There’s these two friends I really want you to meet someday.
Dixie: Really now?
Diddy: Yep! Their names are Banjo and Kazooie. I told how cool you are and everything.
Dixie: Aww~ Diddy, that’s sweet~ Buuuuut if you ask me, I think you’re pretty cool too, ya know?~
Diddy: (Giggles While Blushing) You’re too kind sometimes, Dix~
Dixie: Thanks~ Hey. Diddy?…..
Dixie: I miss you so much.
Diddy: I miss you too, Dixie. A lot more than I thought I would actually. But don’t you worry. I’ll come by and give you a visit first thing tomorrow!
Dixie: Really? That’s awesome, but…. how are you going to do that?
Diddy: We have these Dimensional Rings where we could visit any place we want. I can ask the princess to let me borrow it for the day so I can see you.
Dixie: Oh my gosh! This is even more better than I thought!~ I can’t wait to see you again, Diddy-Kins!~
Diddy: (Smiles Softly) Me too, Dix. Me too.