iām going back to work today! please wish me luck š„ŗ i can definitely say i feel better about going back today than i did yesterday ā iām really glad i made the decision to not go back as soon as they asked me to. i just hope i donāt get too exhausted from my meds during the day ā iāll have some coffee and be fine iām sure. :)
anyways! thank yāall again for being so kind to me during this, it has been really scary and frankly very very physically painful for me and i know iām not completely recovered yet by any means but iām just so fucking grateful to feel like some semblance of a real person again. thankful for having an appetite again & for feeling emotions again & for being able to swallow and hear (kinda sorta) again WHEW i missed normal shit
cant get ron swanson being deans father-figure out of my head so iām holding yall hostage- i mean, sharing the madness with you, iām sorry. and listen, yes, i know, i know how it sounds but hear me out:
now i know what youāre thinking: you stupid idiot, ronās whole schtick is being this hyper masculine āmanly manā who doesnāt like weak-willed men, how could he possibly be a good father figure to poor, traumatized, ājust wants to be lovedā, dean?
and to that i say, you fool, thats exactly why ron would be a great father-figure: ronās inherent soft side for the people he loves opens him up even if he is a āmanās manā and he doesnāt shy away from that vulnerability. and besides, dean may be many things, but weak-willed he most certainly is not. in ronās own words:
if you donāt believe in love, whatās the point of living?
yes, ron believes:
and
and
but he also
and
plus he deadass opposed his fathers order to work in a steel mill (literally. his dad dropped him off at the mill and told him not to bother with school and ron got a ride back to the college anyway).
youāre gonna tell me the man who basically said, āfuck you dad iām going to collegeā wouldnāt beat the shit out of j**n winchester when he found out all the trauma dean has because of him? youād be lying to yourself.
and oh my god! imagine the support system dean would have in ron and vice versa? like imagine dean supporting ron at his jazz shows and ron supporting dean during karaoke night? considering how he supported tom and his snake juice venture (if you know you know, and if you do, i love you), itās safe to say heād be going to every table in his deadpan voice like, āyes, thatās my son. yes, he does have the voice of an angel.ā (and you can take ronās statement to the bank because āa recommendation from me is essentially a guarantee.ā) and what about deans jokes? finally someone whoāll understand and laugh at his jokes. remember deans face when donna laughed at his joke? yeah, imagine that face but all the time with him and ron. but most importantly, whenever dean needs advice, who would begrudgingly (affectionate) get out of bed and bring the good scotch and bacon burgers over for a heart to heart? exactly.
and thatās not even mentioning the wood working! ron teaching dean about wood working!! he starts showing dean how to make small stuff at first and then dean starts branching off doing his own thing (he did make the ma'lak box by himself, after all). and one day he surprises ron with a rowboat he made and they take it out onto a lake to fish and in the serene peace of it all ron would tell dean how proud he is of him and mean it, and more importantly: dean would believe it.
now some of you might also be thinking: well if you want dean to have an alcoholic, manly father-figure, he already has bob- [gunshot]
no, fool! bobby may have been leagues better than j**n, but he wasnāt the most gentle man in the world, either. i donāt forget you belittling my sons feelings, bobby singer. but i also thank you for playing catch with him. but thereās little things here and there that make bobby an unfit father-figure for someone like dean. for example: his use of traditionally effeminate words or words used to describe effeminate men and using them as insults, on multiple occasions to deans face. not exactly directed at dean, although sometimes they were.
bobby is a kind of āmanly manā in a⦠different way than ron. arguably both would consider themselves manly, but ron would say it in a confident way, very sure of himself; bobby would say it as a reassurance (insecurity) because his masculinity was somehow called into question. and thereās the big olā elephant in the room: bobby is burdened by life. the last thing dean needs is another man burdened by life, he already had that with j**n and look what he did to him. someone with that much baggage would unload it on dean sooner or later, just like j**n did. and knowing dean, he would feel itās his responsibility to look after yet another person, and he doesnāt deserve that.
ron, on the other hand, lives completely unburdened by life. he lives in a cabin in the woods with his hidden gold and his books and his scotch and his wood shop just vibing. ron loves life! and guess what? so does dean! dean was always meant to live a laid-back, easy life fishing, eating bacon, loving nature and just vibing too! heād feel contentment with ron. easy living and much deserved peace.
plus, youāre gonna sit there and tell me ron (as the director of the parks department who thinks people should be able to do whatever they want) wouldnāt have some kind of pull to get dean a nice piece of land and help him build a bar! and a house!! ron would give dean stability, a chance to live a peaceful, normal life.
and he literally doesnāt give a shit who you love so imagine dean showing up with cas one day to dinner? theyāll shake hands, ron would comment on casās firm grip, they wouldnāt notice they both have deadpan voices and expressions and hijinks would ensue. ron would love cas! heās strong, stoic, smart, but endearing and kind and open. know ron would just look over towards the other end of the table at dean and just give him a small smile and slight nod and dean would know exactly what he means: you did good, kid.
in conclusion:
i made STOCK!!!!!
it smells DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!
i also forgot it was on the stove and sat here wondering why it smells like soup for the last hourā¦ā¦..
I swear you give me the chance to talk about Claudiaās religion and spiritualism and I will write you a novel on how deeply it all connects to her both in personality and mindset.
i hate when i see posts on here that are likeĀ āpeople who are from near the ocean donāt actually care about it lolā like,,,,, shut the fuck up challenge???Ā iāve lived within walking distance of the ocean all my life and even then i constantly wish i was closer??Ā ??? honestly i canāt help but pity anyone who could let such a beautiful thing become mundane
i watched jinkiās vlive this morning and i asked if he could sing pansy or any of his solo album songs and right after i sent it, he exclaimed āpansy!ā then sang it š„ŗ
Islamic MUST DO beauty tips ā 6 Ways How to be moreĀ attractive!
This Hadith Quotes tells us that stubbornness is not always good. Infact Imam Ali as. said that stubbornness is the cause of evil. Let us achieve a great muslim lifestyle and accept our weaknesses. Here are a few tips how to deal with stubbornness
āDid you know that if your beautiful lips created light, they would be a quadruple sun so bright that every crevice in the universe would be basked in their light when you smile..ā
When you smile, your smile lights up my day twenty times what the sun does - eUĆ«