Hi I slept 3 hours last night please send help 😫
Hi I slept 3 hours last night please send help 😫
Learning to love the body I am in has posed many challenges but I’m trying my best~ missed you lovely creatures as I haven’t been on tumblr in 600+ days
ok fair warning, this is gonna be a bit of a rant, but PLEASE do not comment on other people’s weight! this goes for commenting on people who are fat, skinny, or anywhere in between bc this is an incredibly quick way to seriously mess up a person’s mental health. I’m pretty skinny and have been my whole life, and when I was literally seven I had people trying to compliment me on how small and skinny I was and I mean
a) I was seven????? why were random people interested in my weight??? and
b) I straight up had a growth hormone deficiency and was unhealthily underweight and uhhh.. i’m sure you can imagine the sort of effect being complimented for something physically harmful to me would have on my future self-image.
Anyways, I’m just thinking about this now bc I’ve spent the last five years or so actively working on body positivity and whatnot and i STILL catch myself panicking sometimes over the slightest weight gain because SOMEBODY thought it would be a good idea to tie my self-worth to a dang growth deficiency when i was an actual child
point is, other people’s weight/body type is none of your business <3
This is dumb
The side view
Send me money for snacks 😭😭😭
🦇 trying to love this meatsuit again by throwing some permanent art on it (ft. fresh lil batty and sage bundle, not pictured death moth boi on my leg) 🦇
So I've been MIA for a minute, but today I'm 4 days post-op. The weeks leading up to and days after my surgery were pretty hectic. I'll cover a few different topics in my post today since I haven't been here in a minute.
For me, the pre-op diet consisted of a full liquid diet (including 2 protein shakes a day) plus one "lean and green" meal which consisted of a lean protein and green (mostly) vegetables.
This diet was a challenge for the first few days. Day 2 was the worst as I experienced withdrawals from everything I usually eat. I had a headache all day and was just miserable. The one thing that helped was Powerade or Gatorade zero. They helped me stay hydrated. The pre-op diet wasn't so bad once I started making the little bit of food I could eat as delicious as possible. This included seasoned salmon, chicken salads, and Mediterranean food. The rest was fine but that one meal a day really kept me going.
Clear Liquid Diet (Day before surgery to day 2 post op):
This was by far the worst. Nothing in this diet tastes good, especially the clear protein shakes (I drank premier protein clear). I was pretty grumpy the day before surgery just because my stomach was still normal size but I couldn't eat. However, after surgery it isn't a huge deal because you stay full just from drinking water all day.
The night before I couldn't consume anything after midnight and had to shower and follow that by wiping down my body with wipes they provided. I couldn't put on any deoderant or lotion (etc.) On my skin afterwards.
I arrived at the hospital around 10:30am and they brought me in right away. After some paperwork I went to the pre-op area to prep. After repeating the same information to three or four different staff I was asked to get into my hospital gown. This is when the nerves set in over my gender identity and assigned sex. I am a transgender Man and ive had chest reconstruction but all original plumbing down below, so any nudity in front of strangers is scary.
Once in my gown they started putting in my IV, Then had to shave my stomach (I'm a very hairy guy) and some of my pubic area. The whole time everyone working with me was very comforting, reassured me I would stay covered, and just treated me with kindness and respect.
Then I met with more people, signed more paperwork, etc. I met my surgeon, the anesthesiologist, the whole surgical team, and a few more folks. This whole time I'm alone (due to covid) but allowed to have my phone. Finally, they give me sleepy meds and roll me back to the OR around 1:30pm.
I woke up in the recovery room around 6pm in a lot of pain, but as soon as I opened my eyes people were there trying to make sure I was comfortable. They gave me pain meds, and anything else I asked for. From there I was in and out of sleep for the next couple hours as they waited for my room to open up. I had my phone back by this time and texted my loved ones letting them know I was fine.
Once I was rolled up to my room, i met my nursing staff for the night and was allowed to have water and juice. Apple juice is ma favorite thing in the world and I wasn't able to have it on my pre-op diet, so that was the first thing I asked for.
The doctors had said to expect nausea, vomiting, and just to have a rough time the first night. However, I took tiny sips of my liquids with plenty of space in between and had zero problems. No nausea, no vomiting, nothing.
Day 1 Post-op (I get to go home from the hospital!):
Throughout the night my vitals were taken every 4 hours, I received oxycodone for pain as often as possible, and had my labs taken. Sure to the medicine I was on, I never had a problem going straight back to sleep. The thing that kept me well was that each time I woke up, I took a small sip of water or juice. This kept me hydrated.
In the morning I woke up feeling great and went for a walk around the hospital unit. For breakfast I got vegetable broth and coffee which I finished about 1/3-1/2 of. I slept more, kept sipping my water and juice, and went for one more walk a little later in the day.
I met with my surgery team and they told me how everything went (perfectly). And what pain to expect. for example, all my incisions were held together with glue, but the largest also has internal stitches, which will hurt more for a longer time. Also, the gas they pump into your stomach can irritate your nerves, resulting in neck and shoulder pain for a few days.
I also met with my dietician who reviewed my post-op diet with me and a few more doctors. Every single doctor was impressed that I had no nausea or vomiting. Small sips for the win! I was able to go home that day.
I was provided several medications to help me manage recovery at home:
Hydrocodone: for pain, syrup, ~2 days worth
Anti-nausea meds: dissolvable pills, 18 days worth
Miralax: laxative, powder to stir into drinks, 7 days worth
I also had to obtain a few things on my own:
Bariatric plus: chewable multivitamin
Vitamin D: liquid, 5000 IU/day
Post-op Day 2:
This was the worst day. It was the last day of my clear liquid diet and everything I had to consume was disgusting. All the meds tasted horrible, the clear protein drinks tasted horrible, and it was all just miserable to consume. I was supposed to have at least 2 protein drinks but couldn't do it. I cut myself some slack and only had one. The only way I could tolerate it was to water it down significantly as I drank it. I stayed on my pain and nausea meds all day but didn't take my miralax.
Post-op day 3:
Day 3 I woke up with almost no pain. I only had 2 more doses of my hydrocodone left and wanted to save it, so before bed the night before I took Tylenol instead, which worked fine. Throughout the day I didn't have trouble consuming my shakes or water, but I did struggle with gas in my stomach and had to take a lot of breaks from drinking. I had my first post-op bowel movement and felt pretty good throughout the day without pain meds, and without nausea meds.
I went to Target (but used a scooter instead of walking) and was fine. I also went on a short walk with my dogs and fiancé. I did get tired so I took a few breaks throughout the day to lay down and rest. However we did go to a drag show that night and I took a dose of hydrocodone before we left. I was fine the whole time, especially because all we did was sit and watch the show.
When we got back I was very tired and grumpy, and I really wanted to eat something. The desire to eat wasn't from hunger (I haven't felt hungry since surgery) but was moreso from just wanting something other than cold liquids. Either way I just went to bed and took some Tylenol PM to help me sleep.
That brings us to today. I woke up feeling pretty good and I'm down over 30lbs. I've gone down a size in pants and shirts and I definitely feel lighter. I was able to sleep on my side for the first time last night, which was way more comfy than sitting upright, which is what I had been doing since surgery.
What I've learned:
Take tiny sips. If it hurts your sip is too big.
If your stomach hurts take a break from drinking and try to use the bathroom.
A bidet is your friend. You won't be able to use your abb muscles to push when you have a bowel movement, so using a bidet to rince yourself out can help tremendously.
WALK at a leisurely pace. No more and no less. (This can also help with gas and bowel movements)
You cannot drink enough water so just do as much as you can, sipping constantly throughout the day.
Take it easy. Ask your caretaker to do things for you even if they seem easy.
Remember you're no longer eating and drinking for pleasure, you're eating and drinking for nutrition. This helped me push through the disgusting parts of my diet and keep going.
How I feel:
Something I didn't expect was the positive shift in my mental health. Especially during the pre-op diet. When on the diet I began to feel like I had more mental and emotional capaticy for things besides food. Since I didn't have to think about what I was going to eat, I was able to focus my energy elsewhere. I feel more content and peaceful than I have in a long time.
I have more energy, more peace, and I feel better physically. I feel lighter and simply existing in my body is easier. I'm more flexible than before, making it easier to put on shoes and socks, or reach certain things, and have good posture. Overall, the go of this surgery for me was to feel better in my body, and I've already started to get that and so much more.
I hope those of you who are considering gastric sleeve find this information helpful! Please let me know if you have questions.
How are y'all doing today
Happy Sunday 🥰🍒
my 24th birthday was a Mamma Mia party, where I was the rockstar of the night surrounded by everyone I love. the fact that i felt so comfortable in my own skin, dressed in something out of my normal zone, just amazes me and shows me I have great friends that help me love myself and have fun.
for once i wasn’t worried about how my body looked, i didn’t give a fuck about anything negative I just enjoyed things & myself! and honestly i fell in love with myself that night.
shout out to star titties that made me feel euphoric having my shirt open; in the best ways i felt masculine and feminine and i had never been so happy as i was that night ✨
Felt cute before bed last night ~🖤
No makeup struggle day 🙃
“All bodies are beautiful!”
That is absolutely true
“Beauty doesn’t determine a person’s worth in any way whatsoever”
That is also absolutely true
third lockdown - day 3
Don't fuckin do this. Do not comment this. I will fuckin block you. It's not hot or attractive. It's not a compliment. It's GROSS.
I want attention again lol
I’m bored. Ask me questions. 🥺