my body looks different everyday.
my body looks different everyday.
my pants are getting baggier, which is a good thing cause yay progress…but it’s also bad cause now i need to buy new clothes with money that i don’t have 😀
Same jeans, same dirty mirror. I need to find a way to weigh myself bc ik I’ve lost weight. 😄
i feel sick. and i don't know if its from binging last night, not eating anything yesterday, or if im actually sick
I've been eating normally recently and ion feel the best
When you find that one.
I woke up with a little bit of hunger pains but as soon as I drank water it became extreme and I nearly couldn’t stand so I had to eat a kiwi fruit
got a new job and i started today, most of my shifts are 12:30-5:30 which means no lunch break so i'll be able to not eat all day! I'm also getting my wisdom teeth out next week so i won't be able to eat as much then either :)
today my friends talked to me about how they never see me eat and asked if i do even eat
i shouldn’t have felt proud in that moment, but i did and i hate myself for it
Day 15 of zero sugar:
Today was eh, not ‘eh’ because I binged, literally the opposite, it was eh because I hardly ate, hardly slept, I did my school work, and I’m fearing exactly when all the pain and exhaustion is gonna crash onto me, I feel okish atm🥲let’s hope I can finesse my way out of this one, also we’re 5 days away from the 20s and 5 days away from October >:D 🥳‼️
A cold bottemless pit
Its somehow worse
Worse then overwelming crushing emotions
Because I KNOW where those come from
Somehow being emotionless is worse
Worse then the feelings that seem to have no end
Worse then the feelings that want to eat me alive
That crave nothing more then to be the end of me
To devour every part of me
You know thoes feelings?
You know the ones that make it hard to breathe?
The ones the ones that hurt SO bad you feel like you might die?
The ones that make you WANT to die?
Some how empty is worse
I cant place it
I cant explain it
Because all I feel
All i am now is..
I used to be crumbpuppy / crumbpup
Like/Reblog to be moots again. I miss you guys
Wish to be thin 3
One day ...🍂🤎
i miss when i stopped getting my period, i need to get that sick again
How do y’all have self control. I can’t figure this shit out and I’m so frustrated with it. Like I’ll be so sad that I’m eating but still be stuffing my face like wtf. If you have any tips please let me know.
Day 14 of zero sugar:
Guys I did it, I resisted Chinese food for the first time in my life, I spit out the brownies my Grandma made, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED IM SO HAPPY😫🙏🏼 only ate 400 cals today, it’s almost October 1st, LETSGOOO😫🤝🎃
I went thru hell as a kid, not looking for sympathy its just a fact, but I went thru hell. Rape,physical, mental, emotional, verbal abuse, drug dealers for parents, sold for meth, living in storage units, homeless shelters, crapy 1 bed hotel rooms with my 6 other siblings, being the parent sibling,moving constently, never knowing when wed eat again, finding out if u swallow your food whole it takes longer to digest,never having hot water, in and out of school, my best friend killed herself , my baby sister died, father in and out of jail,got prego at 13 and put her up for adoption. Then finally we got out....finaly we were free right? Wrong. Only to be put in a forster home with a narsicitst foster mom promising to adopt us then 5sec later telling me I'm scum and worthless and too far gone and no wonder my parents were like that because im a broken pice of shit. And i belived it. I belived it so much I tryed to kms 9 times and was in and out of the hospital until they droped me off at a homless shelter at 16.and adopted my siblings, they were my babies.one day I met my gf and moved in with her and her mom and I started visiting my siblings only for the foster mom to continue abusing me and telling my siblings I dont love them.when they found out I was gay they told me I was better of dead and messaged me for weeks telling me to kms.....and I wanted to....i still do...if it wernt for my gf I would honestly...but honestly thats what my ed does.....it distracts me from all that. If i focus on all the numbers and the cals then I dont have to focus on my past. And its the only thing keeping me from offing myself honestly. So when we report me its not heping, I'm in tharaphy I'm working thru my crap or trying to but rn this is all I can really control so pleas just block dont report this is all I have left, this is how i cope