My favorite 💫
We’ve got a few more events coming up in the next few weeks; we’re very excited to announce that we’ll be working with Half Off Books in Fullerton, CA, to put on a show for the Fullerton First Fridays Art Walk! Performing will be Megan Rose Francisco and General Ed; displaying their artwork will be Frank Michael Estrada and Heyitsmeilene.
If you’re in town on March 6th, come down and party with us! The event is free and all ages. Thank you for tuning in :)
February 23rd 2020
Cleaned out and tidied my bookshelf, and yet I still have way too many books for it. Is that a problem? Absolutely not. Am I going to make a trip to Ikea soon? Absolutely yes.
The Last Bookstore 📚
Joe x reader ofcc :: second part to “imagine meeting a cute guy at Anavrin ”
Y/n, this is why you’re not for me.
[BELLS TINKLING in Mooney’s]
Once upon a time, I believed in love.
Sure, I’d been hurt before, but I’d learned from that, and I wanted to fight for a fresh start.
The real thing this time.
So, boy meets girl, boy knows this is something special, and he thinks, “Let me do everything I can to make this right”.
So, I did.
I was brave.
I was vulnerable.
I won her the old-fashioned way.
I tried to do everything right for her.
I knew you have to do anything for love.
So I did. I did whatever I had to, whatever it took.
“I love you, Joe.” Beck said.
“I love you too.” ….
“I heard about you and Candace.”
But Beck she did not trust me.
So she started asking questions about the past.
“Candace? I think they dated.”
But I can’t say I was shocked when it didn’t work out. “Who’s Elijah? I ask Candace.
"Give me my phone, Joe.”
“He’s not your brother, I know that.”
“I don’t love you. I never have.”
She started digging for stuff that should have stayed buried.
I picked wrong. I made mistakes.
- Love had made me blind.
And now - love turned to poison.
BECK:“Tell me I’m crazy. Tell me you didn’t kill Peach.” She sobs. “Tell me you didn’t kill Peach.”
And when love dies, it really hurts.
- The bottom line is
she couldn’t love me back.
And our love died.
I thought that was the end.
A sad story.
A broken heart I’d have to heal from to love again.
But no, there was more hurt in store.
“I think we have some unfinished business to talk about."she says.
And so I realize this is what I get for trying so hard.
I can’t love again.
I can’t risk it.
It’s too dangerous. The only fresh start is a start without love.
This is what it’s come to.
I’m a troubled man changed by the things I do. True, but it’s funny how Love has taken me to dark places. But Los Angeles has gotta be as dark as it gets. When you’re running from someone who thinks they know you, the best place to hide is a city they think you hate because, well, I do.
I’m closing my heart, like an out-of-business bookstore, and I’m here for the moment where everyone is too into themselves to ever connect with another person. It’s the worst city in the world and the last place I wanna be, and that’s perfect.
Regroup, get some cash together, figure out next moves, go. Never look back.
It’s a chance to get back to who I really am: - a quiet guy, who just wants to lead a quiet life. I’ve done time in uglier cages.
Do not fixate on any one person.
No, fuck, no, I’m not doing that.
I’m not gonna try to figure out who you are, why you look so concerned about the state of that heirloom tomato.
I see you working at the kitchen. You look so hot I could just “uhh” you moan “that feels good joe say my name.” I fantasize us having sex.
What’s wrong with me? I don’t do this.
I don’t fantasize to some impossible version of a woman I barely know.
It’s not good. No.
It’s hard to have a fresh start, y/n when the past is on your mind.
“Hi, I need a driver’s license.”
“ ID and proof of residence? ”
“Yep, it’s all there.” She types for what seems forever.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“ Slow system.”
Some woman in the back yells “that is completely unacceptable.”
MAN: “Ma'am, come up to the window, please.”
“Just wait, I’ll fix this.”
I know that voice.
“Sir? This woman has an appointment.
Just like I just had an appointment.
You just helped me five seconds ago.”
What are the chances?
“she has to come back with somebody that can speak whatever she speaks.”
“Arabic? I mean, it’s pretty common.”
“Excuse me, does anybody speak Arabic? - Anyone?”
“ I can.”
“Thank you, sir, please.”
“Nobody’s gonna skip you, right? Thank you, everyone. See? Someone who can help. Wasn’t that hard to ask.”
“Some people, huh? Okay, this is all in order. You’ll step over there to take the written test.” The lady says handing me my papers.
“Okay, thank you.” I say to her & smile.
“Will.” You say as you walk towards me.
“Kismet, right? I mean, what are the chances? I don’t always cause a scene. "I promise.” you laugh and it’s cute.
“That was pretty impressive.”
“Good, because I actually frequently do cause a scene.”
“Well, I have to take this test.”
“Well, you got this. Here. For luck.” you kissed my cheek. What was that???. I’m in heaven. You walked away out of my sight.
EMPLOYEE: “Next in line, please step forward.”
Are you really who you seem to be? Could anyone be that light and fearless? You know, I didn’t because I promised myself I wouldn’t, but now it would be weird not to, right? You’re kidding me.
Are you the only woman in Los Angeles not showing off for strangers? Speaks well of you, but does make it trickier.
Unfortunately, I know exactly what I need to do.
~~~ your pov
I hope kissing him wasn’t too forward. What was I thinking?? But I liked it, and I think he did too. He is driving me crazy. He probably doesn’t even like me back. What if he’s already dating someone? Ugh.
Communism, socialism, more ism
I probably spent half of my time in Helsinki last summer in book stores
Vademecum per riconoscere e gestire la #comunicazionemanipolatoria
Presentazione del mio ultimo libro a #Torino.
Martedì 3 Marzo pv dalle ore 18.00
c/o La Feltrinelli in Piazza Castello 19
#Ingressolibero fino esaurimento posti
found this beautiful edition of the brothers karamazov in a smol second-hand bookstore and the owner was so sweet, so naive. we literally sat and talked about books for over an hour, he may be my future self! 📚☁️
What would you be if you weren’t afraid? Dead.
Why would death scare me. I only have to lie on the floor, limp.
Why should it scare anyone?
You see, I woke up one day and saw my father pump air into a cadaver. It was cold.
Like death wouldn’t knock at your door, one day and smile the salesman smile.
It wouldn’t make a trite remark about the weather. It wont be a kind stranger.
Death is this bottomless pit, I gaze at. Aware of the consequence. Unaware of the casualties.
I shall leave behind, a few possessions. For signs that I truly lived, my scribbled journals should suffice.
I fear being dead. Only to not have lived as much as I could.
I loved, half man, half human. I read, traveled through books and breathed carcinogens. The only signs, of life, I saw in a child’s smile.
I longed, then some. The only evidence, is longing thus. For I long for death, even if time permits me none.
Why live in one world when you can visit many?
The Lotus and the Robot, Arthur Koestler
Colorful Hearts Ch. 11
“How much longer?”
“Bro, we just got here. Chill. It’s not that bad here,” Phelix answered the whine without missing a beat as he leaned lightly against the tall bookshelf.
Ethyn put the book he was looking at back on the shelf, “Besides the movie we are seeing later was picked out by you and you don’t see me whining about it.” He flipped open another book he pulled off the shelf and read the book jacket carefully.
Marco rolled his eyes as he began pacing the aisle they were in. Ethyn couldn’t take it anymore. Slamming the book closed, he sighed, “If we go to the cafe will you relax?”
Marco didn’t even answer or wait for them. He turned on his heels quickly and headed for the bookstore cafe.
“Giving in so easily, Eth?” Phelix asked, taken aback by Ethyn’s cave in.
“Not really.” He sighed. “This book seems interesting and I want to read a bit of it.”
Phe nodded and they followed their tall companion. By the time they got to the cafe he was already seated at a table with what looked like a tall cup of milk.
After ordering something from the cafe they joined Marco at the table. Ethyn was about to dive into reading the book he had selected when Phelix cleared his throat loudly.
Swallowing the gulp of milk Marco asked, “What’s up?”
Ethyn looked towards Phelix and saw that something was bothering him. He’s body language was changing. He was slouching and rubbing the back of his neck as of trying to work out a knot.
Fidgeting in his seat Phelix answered Marco’s question, his voice sounding smaller than usual, “I need to talk to you guys about something that happened.” He didn’t make eye contact with them. He was afraid that looking at them directly would give everything away.
“Something bad?” Ethyn was starting to worry. Phelix was the most laid back person he knew. Seeing him like this was extremely unusual.
Phelix just shrugged his shoulders. Unsure how to answer that question. Was it bad? Was it good? He knew that whatever happened caused something to change. This change would not just affect him but everyone in the house.
Marco reached across the small table and gripped Phe’s shoulder for a moment in a comforting way, “You know you can tell us anything. Well try to help in any way we can.”
Ethyn nodded in agreement.
Phelix finally had the courage to look up at them and meet their eyes with his. They both looked so concerned but eager to help. He bit his lip for a bit trying to work up the nerve and find the words he needed to say. Putting his elbows on the table and then hiding his face in his hands he finally said muffled, “I think I’m falling for Jackie.”
After he said those words he removed his arms off the table and let his head hit the table.
No one said anything. Marco and Ethyn were a little unsure of what they heard. The two waited for Phelix to say something. Anything.
A few minutes had passed and they still were staring at him with his head still on the table.
Marco leaned towards Ethyn after taking a quick sip of what was left of his milk and whispered somewhat loudly, “Do you think he knocked himself out?”
“He could have,” Ethyn shrugged. “It sounded like he hit the table pretty hard but he could also just be that hard headed.”
“I can hear you.”
Marco couldn’t help but laugh a little as they both turned to look at Phelix. He was finally lifting his head off the table. His forehead had a red circle in the middle that soon would turn into a bruise. Phe just looked at them. He waited for them to say something about what he had confessed. Moving his eyes frantically between the two.
“Well what?” Ethyn asked puzzled.
Phelix’s eyes grew wide, “Seriously? You have nothing to say?”
“Phe,” Marco started, “we didn’t really hear what you said a bit ago.” He looked to Ethyn.
“Yeah.” He confirmed. “You had your face in your hands.”
Phelix was about to slam his head back on the table but stopped himself. He needed to talk this out with someone. Jackie would have been a better choice but he needed to know that he had some sort of backup before going into any conversation with her.
He took a deep breath and with his eyes closed, he repeated what he had said into his hands, “I think I’m falling for Jackie.”
When he opened his eyes he saw that the two of them seemed unphased. Like he had just told them about the weather and not about how he was starting to have feelings for their best friend. It felt as if a bubble had surrounded them causing the silence between them to become extremely deafening. Making the seconds that were passing feel like hours. He couldn’t take it. Phelix was about to stand up and walk away when Ethyn finally broke the silence.
“What happened to make you feel that way?” He asked the question so easily. His voice was even and unphased. Ethyn knew what this could mean for them if this took a sour turn but he wasn’t going to stand in anyone’s way. Feelings were messy enough as it is.
Phelix took his time recalling the other night. Explaining in as much detail as he could. Pausing to think and relive the moments in his head, judging if they were too personal to talk about out loud in such a public space. Marco and Ethyn sat quietly. No emotions crossed their faces. Both knowing that Phe needed them to be non judgemental. They both saw the waves of emotions in his eyes, he didn’t need theirs on top of his own.
“I left her room feeling… different.” He let out a heavy sigh, running his fingers through his already messy hair. “I know that if we hadn’t heard you two in the living room something might have happened.” His gaze moved between the two, “What, I don’t know..” His words trailed off.
He took a long sip of his now cold coffee, making a face at the overly bitter taste that came with it losing the warm temperature.
“What do you want to do about your feelings?” Marco asked. His dark eyes looking into Phelix’s silently offering comfort and understanding in a way that only Marco could.
Phe’s looked away from Marco and glanced down at his hands. He was having trouble keeping still. Resorting to rubbing his hands and popping his knuckles. “I want to talk to her about them,” he answers softly. “But I wanted to talk to you guys so that if something…” he took a deep breath and let it out sharply, “if something happens you won’t be in the dark.”
Ethyn looked at Phelix, seeing him looking so unsure was something he never thought he’d see. He reached his hand over to touch Phelix’s arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze, “We’ll be here for you.”
“Both of you,” Marco added, giving Phe a huge smile.
Phelix nodded his head; his voice failing him. Reassuring them that he heard what they said and that he believed them.
Marco reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and slowly got up from his seat, “Come on, don’t wanna miss that movie.”
Leaving the bookstore, Phelix felt supported and ready to talk to Jackie. Things might change but he really needed to do this. Come what may.
Eight Tales of Terror by Edgar Allan Poe (1978)