Hottest thing about me is my collection of Ugly Turtles. Such a pristine collection requires a discerning eye. Though there are only 4, they are the result of years of careful thrifting. Like a classically understood bad movie, an Ugly Turtle is only truly ugly if its loathsomeness was unintentional, its character innocent, and its form misguided but bold. Each new addition must add something special to the whole: a unique aesthetic horror or societal mystery, another answerless "how?!" or "why?!"
The Original Ugly Turtle: Broken Neck Turtle
I remember the disgust and awe I felt the first time I beheld Broken Neck Turtle. A humbling, self-making moment, in which I saw my destiny before me. I could hardly believe in his existence, nor the fact that I needed him. He is sublimely nasty and wrong. In all my years of searching, no turtle has ever compared.
That gap in the black airbrushing enflames my imagination as few things ever have.
Tragically, there is no credit.
Well met, sweet prince.
The Next Ugly Turtle: Palpatine Turtle
Palpatine Turtle's smile is as pained as it is sincere. He is the tweest of the turtles. He puts the most effort of all of them into a futile attempt to fit in with the normal kitsch. The chipped paint can be forgiven: cheapness and deception are shallow sins. But the sunken eyes cannot. The sweeter his attempt, the more sinister his impression.
His juvenile, pastry-like shell exposes still further his inability to accept himself as the freak he is. They will never call you beautiful, Palpatine Turtle. But you don't need them.
No doubt Palpatine Turtle's tragic unease stems from ill-conceived pride, as his brand name, artistic origin, and corporate connection are printed right on his body. It is something of a relief to be able to trace his foulness to its source, that mighty font of mass-marketed sentimentality known as Hallmark.
But eerie questions remain. Lou Rankin did not live in Thailand.
(To be continued...)
There’s a god damn RPG game adaptation of Hard o be a God from 2007 and I wasn’t informed?
Look at my son. Look at my dumb, dumb son. Look at him (I’m assuming that’s my boy Rumata, maybe it’s another lad from Earth I don’t know).
Look at his lil futuristic space laptop. Neat, I love it.
I know the meaning of that face and pose though. The angst, the stress...
That’s the face of a man who brought his laptop to the medieval alien planet and just now realized that all his Steam games need permanent connection to the internet to launch. You fool! There’s no wi-fi in Arkanar!
Ok alright im gonna do it im gonna post it just lemme hype myself up real quick
just got tiger lily out of a chest :(
Breaking the Broken
For those of you who needed more on this. Sorry, Nonnie, I am bringing him out.
If there is one thing that the real Steve Rogers never had to jot down in his notebook, it is everything Bucky Barnes had ever said. He remembered the things that even Bucky had forgotten to have uttered. In Westview, living out his days with the Steve Rogers Wanda had conjured from the only fragments of his broken mind she had seen, Bucky begins to notice the slip ups. To them, he turns a blind eye, holding onto the reverie. But, eventually, the world that may have been his refuge, turns unbearably painful; and Bucky gets drawn into yet another goodbye.
Despair not, good people, I promise you a fix it.
i need to know why brer fox is hot, please tumblr, i need aswers
Asume all the gijinkas are latinos unless I state otherwise /lh
In case it wasn’t obvious I’m probably, most likely, going to be annoying as fuck tomorrow and will be tagging all posts with #e3 #halo so if you do not want to see me memeing I advise you black list it
the lady at the okonomiyaki stand at this festival asks "are you Japanese ?" except my weab brain processed it without realising she had said it in JAPANESE AND I INSTINCTIVELY REPLIED BACK IN THE WRONG FORMALITY "chigau yo"/"NO I'M NOT" (I havent formally studied Japanese but I think the polite form is chigai masu and the less polite is chigau yo)
and it was too late to correct myself or even clarify in english that I just happened to speak weab Japanese and I was actually Korean so we walk away into the night with our steaming calamari okonomiyaki and my burning shame.
The Engrish here is great. This is actually the top-rated boba place on University Way on Yelp.