sometimes i think i’m getting better and i remember ch.88 of bsd exists and i wanna die
greeting you on your birthday!
featuring: Poe, Akutagawa, Mori, Lovecraft, Chuuya
a/n: Happy Happy Birthday to @ravenina14!! Hope you have a wonderful day <3
Edgar Allan Poe
He’s been preparing his gift since last year
But man’s a nervous wreck so giving it to you doesn’t go as planned
Tries to approach you in the morning but fails miserably
Once he does manage to approach you, he’ll only be able to greet you and forget to hand over his gift
Ends up having Karl send it to you because it’s embarrassing to show his face to you again
There are two ways this could go:
1. he buys you something simple, attaches a small “happy birthday” card, then has it sent to you
2. greets you in person but doesn’t give you anything
Actually maybe both could happen at the same time
He’s really not good at showing his true feelings, but he is very grateful that you were born
Smooth mf #1
Finds the time to greet you and hands over your gift in person
“Happy Birthday, darling” (says that whether or not you’re in a relationship)
You bet it’s expensive as hell, but at least it’s something you definitely like
Asks you to open it in front of him because he wants to see your reaction
50% chance he’ll actually give you something (he’s not sure how these things work)
If he does, thank Steinbeck
If he doesn’t, he’ll show you an animal… tentacle thing
But regardless of the existence of a gift, you can totally bring him along to anywhere you want
Smooth mf #2 with a tinge of dork
“Happy Birthday, Y/N. You free for dinner?”
If you say no, he’ll have your gift sent to your place
If you say yes (and I hope you do), he’ll treat you to the best place in town
Will treat you like royalty the entire night :)
Dazai: Atsushi-kun, use the word 'sugar' in a sentence
Atsushi: I need a sugar daddy? I mean I'm broke so-
Dazai: Uwah!! My child is all grown up; I'm so proud
Chuuya: Shut the fuck up you deadbeat dad, what the fuck have you been teaching our kid?!
Akutagawa: I don't know this family.
(Inspired by this thing my friend sent me)
Okay so those beast spoilers had me like-
Dazai: Akutagawa, keep an eye on Atsushi today. He might say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Akutagawa: Sure, I’d love to see jinko get punched.
Dazai: Try again.
Akutagawa, sighing: I will stop jinko from getting punched.
B S D B E A S T
Apps used:: ibis paint x
Pngs :: official art and manga
So, little update, seperate of the art I will post in a bit. My desktop is dead, so I will have to slow down with art. The good news is that I have a laptop, and my backlog is somewhat saved! The next few posts might be low quality, but they're the best I got.
Aside from that! Here’s some Akutagawa fanart I did! I have had really big Aku brainrot recently, so I drew a few pieces of fanart for him lolol
Atsushi and Akutagawa in Beast, 11/28/21
Remake of my original meme on IG @spookie.pie
Link to original: https://www.instagram.com/p/BzVptg6gsd5/?utm_medium=copy_link
characters: akutagawa ryunosuke, you
genre & wc: angst – 1k
a/n: heavily inspired by I Had A Dream About You by Richard Siken. there are many references to that poem (and few more from other poems in Crush) the quotes are in bold & italic.
In the dream I don’t tell anyone, you put your head in my lap.
in a distance, that's not too close, nor too far away, you exist with a gleam characterstic to you. laughing at whatever has been said, glowing in the dusty fog of the city of port; there is no sound around.
you exist in a world shared by many, yet not a world akutagawa belongs in– he doesn't feel it, that belonging, that sense of home, or the sense of normalcy.
and pretending not to care, like nakahara, isn't an option for him. his every waking hour is spent with it; the caring, the thinking, the overbearing presence of one thought after another, and another and another...
The birds were watching you.
he somewhat recalls a verse from a poem, not sure which one. he has never been the poetry type, never got the chance for it.
and as the birds watch, so does nakahara, it is hard to miss it, the way he looks, observes; is that what they call longing in his eyes? is that the name for it?
akutagawa exists in a world that revolves around you. merely a speck of dust in your broad universe. would you laugh if he threw oranges at you? would you smile if he peeled a tangerine for you?
do you even like the fruit? there is so much he wants to know, so much he wishes to do, to walk up and ask and talk and-
enough, he stops himself there.
akutagawa ryunosuke has never been one to dream, let alone sleep.
it is too time consuming, distracting, it requires you to let your guard down– a luxury he cannot afford in his realm he is stuck in.
then what is the meaning of this? of these?
certainly they cannot be anything other than dreams. it has been so long since he last had one, let alone a good one, yet life must have taken pity on him for once.
to have slept without anyone's noticing, and to return back to his life with a pleasant dream in his arms.
he clutches at it, tight, he doubts he has held anything this tight, this close to his chest ever in his life.
this doesn't make any sense, he thinks. and why should it? what is it with you that i saw in a dream, and held onto for dear life, to never let go?
You were lying in the middle of the empty highway.
The sky was red and the sand was red and you were wearing a brown coat.
it was a beautiful day, a sunset he has learned to appreciate, though it could never outmatch you.
nose scrunching at that coat, akutagawa tries to ignore it.
"it's beige, not brown." he can hear you correcting him. he finds himself not liking the implication of it.
and in the stead of that coat, he sees that man holding you, arms around you. he sees the two of you still meeting up in town sometimes. it goes beyond him why someone like you would continue to see him, after everything he has done, everything he is doing.
if such a man can be graced with more than just your presence, does that mean there is hope for himself as well? he hopes the answer is yes.
yet he knows better to get caught up in dreams like that.
dreams, he wish he never had that dream to begin with.
then his suffering would be the same as always, he would go on living his life as always, pushing away the feelings, chewing them down, forcing them down his throat, letting his stomach digest and teeth tear them apart.
he doesn't want his eyes to follow you whenever you walk and run, now standing by the edge of a bridge, then in the middle of the road. he doesn't remember much of that red book, thank god, but god is gone, god is yelling in vain, trying to shout advices "look out, be careful, what are you doing, why aren't you moving!"
akutagawa has never liked guns, one thing him and nakahara are on the same page with.
then you turn the page, read a few lines and turn it again. was that book boring? would you like a new one instead? shut the book close and dash off once again, why won't you look around before you take off like that? always chasing the high of action, always making u-turns, never satisfied, never full; in the middle of a bite, you ask what will be next.
doesn't it get tiring, to treat death as something it is not, like a game, like a challenge, a randevouz, a lover's oath? do you get tired of people easily as well? will you pause to take a breath?
akutagawa sees why people use that phrase now– he feels more than sees it:
you're like a dream, one he cannot forget, one he constantly thinks about day and night, no matter the location, or the time. a dream he wishes to see forever, a dream he will chase after for ever and ever, miss for an eternity, unattainable, just out of reach, what he wouldn't give to live it again for a second longer.
(and he must be like a dream to you too, he supposes. the kind of dream you won't ever recall seeing once you're awake in the morning– let alone chasing after or stealing a glance at him.)
"Tell me we're dead and I'll love you even more."
is that what he promised you, to have you act out like this?
akutagawa has no more left in him to wonder this, to ask you this, be it in person or in his mind.
it is too tiring even just to see you with him, and the what-if's– he cannot even bear to think about these any more, nor stand that smile reserved for him.
it sucks him whole and drains him empty.
got bored and put together some gay Akutagawa icons :)
cr: rp__o6 (twitter)
atsushi: so yeah akutagawa and i made a promise to fight to the death in six months
dazai: haha alright be safe!
atsushi: it’s a fight to the death being unsafe is literally the entire point
dazai: sure sure, as long as you’re both home in time for dinner
atsushi: to the DEATH. one of us won’t even be alive for dinner also we don’t live with you and you can’t cook
Chuuya: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined.
Chuuya: You're on thin fucking ice
Chuuya: Oh no
SHOUT OUT TO COSTCO FOR CARRYING KINDER DELICE YOURE A REAL ONE AND I LOVE YOU
dazai, chuuya, atsushi and akutagawa matching layouts
like/reblog when saving/using!