ᴀ/ɴ: I finally posted; this was supposed to be a fluff request but when it turned to hurt comfort, I decided to post it alone 👩🦲 SORRY HOPE YOU LIKE IT GUYS also this isn’t proofread so good luck
love, love, love. a concept you longed for the longest time now. love, with all its situations, is very alluring, isn’t it? whether it’s a knight in shinning armor that comes to your rescue or a man who merely steps into your life to spread a smile on your face and make a fool out of himself just for your sake.
wouldn’t that be sweet?
you dreamt and dreamt of how it would be with that special person in your life. you saw those people all around you, so lovesick, so in love and it made you wonder: how would it be with you? would it the fairytale you have dreamt of or the nightmare you were escaping from?
love is a double edged sword, yes it is; however, you doubt that statement sometimes. how can you not when whenever his hand touches yours, you get flustered and your heart flutters. when he notices and points out those small fleeting details about you that no one seems to see.
it makes you feel cared for, and when his eyes are filled with clear genuine affection when he stares at you with a sense of longing. his heart that you can feel racing in his chest, a feeling he most of the time seems to dismiss, wasn’t he a man afraid of vulnerability?
but on one of the nights, when the moon was the only person keeping you company, your lover entered your room, instantly melting into your touch. the moment your hand makes contact with his face is the moment that you hear an airy chuckle escape his lips.
why was he laughing?
“i never thought i would open up to someone about this as much as i am doing with you right now, but before I tell you, my past is ugly, a dark slash of black in my seemingly white life. and if you choose to leave then i need you to know that i truly care for you.”
and so the words left his mouth like a never ending stream. however, they weren’t as smooth as they usually were. they were hesitant, with each word a look is directed towards you to check, are you gonna run away? are you going to leave? what will you do?
and when he is done with letting out the wicked symphony that was playing infinitely his mind, he looks at you, waiting for a reaction. anything? he prepared himself for the worst, so why aren’t you pushing him? why aren’t you screaming at him that he is a monster?
why is it that your first course of action is to hug him and cry for his pain? he doesn’t know, but he thanks his lucky stars that you are still by his side. he wants to think about the reason, to ask about the reason, but he doesn’t.
because love in its purest form is the willingness to give your everything without expecting anything in return. he laid it out for you, and you accepted all of him. you told him your thoughts and feelings and he worked to make you the most comfortable with him.
so no one can blame you when you tell them about your love. because your love is pure and love, love, love is a fantasy you don’t need to reach out for anymore. it has been wrapped around your finger for along time now.
synopsis: in which dazai confesses you make him feel human.
genre: hurt/comfort, fluff
dazai osamu was many things; a living corpse, a flower born from darkness, a child crying in the dark... a disqualified human being. unlike humans, dazai wasn't able to find peace in breath-taking views and cozy weather. he didn't find joy in holidays with its sentimental values. in fact, dazai couldn't understand the value behind the act of living and wandered in the hope to find what he was so desperately looking for.
dazai's heart was too wounded to be worn on his sleeve. instead, he kept it hidden behind layers of cotton bandages. there was a certain comfort behind the thought of nobody being able to see him, to truly see him. it was lonely, cold, dull.. but it was safe and painless as well. after all, why would one want to increase their suffering?
to protect his heart, dazai osamu would not give anyone the power to break his heart ever again, not in the way it had been broken before... so why did he feel your eyes delicately unwrapping the bandages around his heart?
there was something about you, dazai was convinced of it. how come his heartbeat stayed silent when faced with death, but the moment he looked into your eyes... why would his heart tremble in fear, or was it excitement? dazai, for the first time, couldn't tell.
it surely wasn't the last time you had disrupted his monotonous heartbeat. every time your soft fingers would touch his slender ones, a heated rush of excitement would shoot through dazai's veins. whenever you playfully ran those same fingers through his hair and spoke out a teasing remark, dazai struggled to hide his genuine smile behind a clownery grin.
you slowly approached the man covered in bandages: a pace so harmless, careful and tender that even dazai himself was unaware of how attached he had gotten to your now familiar presence. he started to wonder if your eyes always reflected the same warmth as that of the bright sun. did those eyes always see value in even the smallest creatures and objects? humans say the eyes are the gate to one's soul, so what did it mean when your eyes looked straight into his?
dazai could always count on you to take care of him after a suicide attempt gone wrong; attempts that went wrong because the man in question knew it meant he would get to feel your hand on his shoulder, to hear you say that you'd always be there to catch him.
just like how dazai knew you'd always reply to him in the middle of the night; nights in which even his demons couldn't fall asleep, too busy haunting the memories that had once scarred a young boy's heart.
and just like that, dazai knew you'd play along with his clownery; a mask to hide his emotions and true intentions from others, an act to distance himself from the ones who dared to come close. nevertheless, you didn't shy away from him nor his mischievous nature.
the mask that dazai wore so cautiously slowly started to crack in your presence. the feeling of being seen, truly seen.. it made dazai shake in fear, as if you could figure out any minute he was not human. or maybe, it reminded him of a dear friend who had been able to do the same.
however, history wasn't allowed to repeat itself. all things worth obtaining would be lost and if dazai would lose you, his heart might shatter beyond repair.
there was one thing the quick-witted detective failed to realize: dazai osamu was a selfish man and he longed for you, the one who tenderly caressed his heart.
that's how dazai found himself next to you, his clothes and bandages thrown on the floor with your face resting against his chest. a shiver ran through dazai's body when your index finger traced down his spine. "you're so sensitive."
dazai failed to hide his satisfied smirk, thinking back on the act that had only ended a few minutes ago. "so are you, belladonna."
you hummed and continued to caress your significant other's back. throughout the years that you had known dazai as a colleague, a friend and now a lover, you knew how much the touch-starved man craved for it.
when you looked up to him, you noticed dazai's rosy cheeks. "do you need any water, love? i can get you some if you want-"
the shade of red on dazai's face darkened. how it felt like to be taken care of.. he would never get bored of it. nevertheless, your movements had stopped and dazai was desperate to feel your touch again. "my back is a bit sore," the man pouted.
"then let's do something about it, shall we?" you smiled while freeing yourself from dazai's embrace. "seems like somebody went a little too hard tonight-"
"if my belladonna screams, no, begs, me to go harder, who am i to refuse?" while dazai looked at you with innocent, big doe eyes, you knew he was smirking like a fallen angel on the inside, and so you playfully pushed him down on his stomach.
"right. so who exactly told me i had to be louder and ask for it, no, beg for it?" this time, dazai couldn't hide the smirk from appearing on his face. his eyes darkened and he narrowed them in a smugness manner.
in contrast to his expression, dazai's tone was light when he answered: "perhaps that could have been your desire projected-"
before dazai could finish his sentence, you poked his ribs gently. "i think that's your desire-" your hand moved upwards, a finger trailing the curve of your lover's neck as light as a feather. leaning forward with your chest pressed against his bare back, you whispered in dazai's ear. "osamu."
dazai went speechless. his heartbeat was stuttering against your finger, his cheeks could burn holes in the pillow while his muscles twitched in a moment of desire. the feeling of your bare skin against his, your touch and the way you had playfully yet delicately whispered his name directly into his ear... it was the purest form of intimicy, a sign he was alive.
never had dazai felt this attached to someone, never had he let himself be this vulnerable with anybody. you were the only exception.
your chuckle into his ears sent tingles down his spine. acting like dazai didn't have a mental breakdown just a second ago, your hand moved down till it rested between dazai's shoulder blades: "are it your shoulder blades that are sore? or-" your hands trailed down lower. "is it your lower back?"
still a melting mess from earlier, dazai answered both. for a few minutes, you were concentrated to make the knots in the man's back disappear. "you know, i might be convinced your back is sore because of all those suicide attempts. although, it has been a while since you tried to drown yourself in a river, isn't it?
dazai stayed silent before he hummed. he couldn't find the energy in himself to talk about suicide, not when he could feel your warmth nestling deep inside his bones.
noticing exactly what dazai must be feeling, you placed a kiss on his shoulder blade. when you were done massaging dazai's back, you lied down on your own. for a moment you inspected the human's face next to you. it was rare for somebody to see dazai so at peace, his eyes lightly shut and his lips parted as if he had fallen asleep.
but then the man opened his eyes, looking straight into yours. dazai grabbed your hand and without breaking the eye contact, he placed the softest kiss on it. "forgive me, belladonna. i haven't taken care of you yet. what do you need?"
you faked a sigh. "ah well, i think i hurt myself a little."
dark eyes immediately scanned your whole body while the softness in dazai's gaze made place for sharpness. if dazai's mind had done the same, perhaps he would have caught on to your plan sooner. however, to think you got hurt, hurt by his actions nevertheless while you had stayed silent about it, made him go over every small detail that had happened in your act of passion. had he been too rough?
you pointed at your lips, noticing the worry that became visible in dazai's eyes. "here, you want to kiss it better for me?"
your lover's eyes rested on your lips. of course, he should have heard it in your tone.. dazai felt himself relax again. "as you wish, my belladonna."
dazai crawled closer to you and leaned forward. however, he stopped a few inches before your lips could touch. seconds went by where you could only feel each other breath while dazai's nose was caressing yours. when you tried to lean forward, dazai’s hand grabbed your hair, preventing you from moving. "ta ta ta, you asked me to kiss you better, my sweet belladonna. are you so needy for me?"
"hm, please, dazai? you're the only one who can kiss it better for me."
dazai looked at your doe eyes and wondered what he did to deserve such a precious human like you. his eyes lowered to your lips. "then let me make you feel better."
finally, dazai moved closer and he lightly tugged at your bottom lip with his teeth before he took it between his lips. it was when you let out a soft whine that dazai deepened the kiss. your hands cupped his cheeks while dazai's grib around your hair tightened.
you were the first one to pull away to catch your breath.
"feeling better?" dazai looked at your swollen lips, almost hoping you would ask him to continue.
"much better. i'm actually a little tired, though."
dazai rolled on his back and opened his arms. you gladly accepted the invitation and nestled yourself back against his chest. "you have no idea how much you mean to me, osamu. i love you. thank you for making me feel special."
the arms around you tightened. "you give me too much credit, y/n. you have always been special, you don't need me for that. me, on the other hand.. before i loved you, i couldn't even guess myself what it must be like to live the life of a human being.. that was until i met you. you make me feel human, y/n."
this time, it was you who became speechless. for dazai to say this, it was probably the biggest compliment you had ever gotten. and so you leaned forward to kiss his forehead, to whisper nothing but sweet praise in his ear till both of you drowned in each other's love.
📰 : A/N -> hi guys!!! here’s a thank you for 100 <3 i absolutely appreciate the love you guys have given this account throughout my small journey on building it soooo i just wanted to give back a little something ;) anyway, i hope you guys enjoy!
⚠️ : WARNINGS -> NSFW CONTENT FURTHER ON (the smut is pretty descriptive so be aware!) brief mentions of dazais suicidal behavior + thoughts
- just want to start off by saying that i think dazai would be such a loving significant other when he’s truly in love or trusts the other person (like how he trusts oda) oh my god. he’d actually be so down bad. it’s horrendous
- moving on, i still would like to say that he’d be flawed so…here are some of my personal headcanons of what i think dating dazai would be like :3
- starting strong, i 100% see him as the kind of boyfriend who’d send you sweet messages throughout the day
- like “good morning, my belladonna! how is the prettiest woman in the world doing?”
- but then would ask you for favors…yup.
- BUT HE STILL MEANS EVERY COMPLIMENT HE TELLS YOU. the actual downside to this is that sometimes he’d completely disappear from his phone too
- …but he always rebound.
- absolutely loves scenery watching with you! i totally see him as the type to really enjoy going to a park with his lover, or a rooftop, any place where the world feels like it’s just the two of you
- he falls harder and harder for you every time.
- though dazai isn’t really seen to give back to people (mf doesn’t even bother paying his tabs) but i can see him buying you meaningful gifts
- like if he sees you staring at a certain something while you two are out, he’d definitely keep a mental note of that. or even a gift that represents something the two of you share <3
- even the other agents at the ada would be so in shock when they find dazai asking for GIFT advise.
- oh yeah. they definitely know he’s in love too.
- would totally read you one of his books (anything BUT his suicide manual) or even some of yours (if you have any) whenever it’s a lazy day or if you’re having a difficult time falling asleep.
- his voice is so soothing and calming, that shit would send you into a lullaby.
- OK BECAUSE WHEN HES IN LOVE. I CAN SEE HIM WRITING A BOOK JUST FOR YOU. OR SOME KIND OF WRITING PIECE. IM. IM. IM.
- now some of the angsty angst…
- there are times where dazais’ suicidal tendencies or thoughts take rancid in his mind, and that will obviously lead to many unhealthy things
- like retracting back to his drinking issues, reckless behavior, and mental neglecting
- and sometimes, this would lead him to run away or distance himself from you. not because he doesn’t trust you
- but he HATES even just the idea of worrying or burdening you.
- you obviously find out, and oh god. the hospitality you provide him.
- and there he goes again. absolute goner when you cook him his favorite dish, accompany him in baths/showering, holding him close to your body while you both cuddle in the night.
- you’d allow (or more so, make him) cradle his face into your neck, while you run your hands through his hair, kissing his hairline and whispering “i’m here whenever you want to talk”
- just ever so patient for whenever he wanted to open up.
- though you know it’ll take a while for him to open up entirely, you’d usually get back a “let’s stay like this, my dear” and or “thank you. this is more than i can ever ask for”
- and oh he wouldn’t even hesitate to do the same for you— cradling your head into his chest and whispering hushed comforting whenever you’re stressed out with work or a situation.
- if someone particularly did hurt you though, oh fuck.
- game time is over for dazai if someone ever made his darling cry.
- let. me. just. say. that.
- but do keep this man in check! there’s that possibility that he’ll step back into his old habits ;( no matter how many times he’ll try to push you away or make it seem like it’s no big deal— just remind him that he’s very much loved and cared for.
- butttt back to some more fluff!
- dazais’ kisses could stop the world, and his kisses are so filled with emotions and love.
- whether you’re crying or staring into his eyes, he’s going to kiss you— make you feel like it’s just the two of you against the world.
- even on the days where maybe he or you can’t necessarily communicate, the way his soft lips press against yours just reminds the both of you that you have each other at the end of the day.
- just his kisses itself, says so much.
- and he vows to keep it reserved for you <3
- he’d be so in love that he’d forget that he was labeled as an enemy to all women LMAO
- anyway, he LOVES forehead kisses. like LOVES. whether it’s from you or him kissing your head. it’s so pure and loving. help his soul.
- he also loves hugs, i think dazai truly loves physical affection— but with the right person of course.
- and with his lover, he’s clinging. like a koala. mf doesn’t understand personal boundaries sometimes that he’ll suffocate you with his tight hugs (affectionately <33)
- his absolute favorite sentimental combination with everything he loves to do with you is watching the city fly by your eyes, holding your waist from the back, and being able to whisper lovey things into your ears.
- “you’re so beautiful, my love” and you’d let out the softest laugh ever— kissing his check before complimenting him back ever so sweetly.
- uhhh why did his heart just flutter.
- his heart would be beating so fast. no joke, he thought he was going to die.
- it’s all so loving. no more facade. no more of any of that.
- it’s that reminder for another time to heal
- after losing his good friend. the only person who shed light into his life.
- dazai osamu has truly found his home again.
- and you’d know that too. when he finally turns you around for you to face him, stopping to watch your face in slight confusion, his lips slightly brushing against yours to finally whisper, “i love you, y/n.” before leaning in to kiss you with so much love.
- the world stops just for dazai and his reason.
- SO. MUCH. LOVEEEEE.
(NSFW) -> 🔞
- a little bonus to dating dazai. this mans sex libido is worth keeping an eye open 🤫
- let me just say, he’s good. he’s so good.
- port mafia dazai is crazy (the urge to write some headcanons for him too is kicking in…) but i do think ada! dazai is more softer, especially during sex.
- i think if dazai got into a serious relationship with someone he wouldn’t hesitate to lay his life for— sex would be so much more to him
- definitely would love missionary, allowing your legs to open wider for him as his thrusts are steady and raw.
- god he loves it when you throw your head back, your neck completely exposed for him to mark and kiss at.
- he’d even let you scratch and dig your nails into his back, covered with bandages or not. he’d encourage you rip that shit off when he’s THAT horny to think.
- your moans literally replay in his mind AT-LEAST 2 times a day.
- mf would be the “🏃” emoji the second you’re teasing him, wether it be sending him a quick message talking about how much you miss him..
- “osamu, baby…i miss you so much. come over when you’re done with the paperwork? i may or may not be wearing your favorite set ;) ”
- yup. he’s gone. completely off the grid.
- talking about sets, he loves all the different kinds of lingerie on your body! he would even suggest for you to try on the ones he would find when he has the opportunity <3
- “belladonna, what do i have to do for you to try this on for me…”
- then he’d flutter his eyelashes, eyes round to a doe, while holding the skimpiest lingerie set you’ve ever seen.
- psst! his absolute favorite lingeries are those simple yet sexy black garter ones *wink wink*
- or even at home, when you situate yourself on top of him, obviously dragging attention to his crotch area, slowly rotating your hips to rile him up while pecking the exposed areas of his neck.
- he’s gone again.
- even with the teasing, dazai manages to make you feel like the prettiest girl alive when your full naked body is displayed to him
- SOOO much and i mean SO. MUCH. body worship and praising. he’d kiss you from your lips all the way down to your legs while whispering sincere compliments
- literally could spend hours worshipping your beauty and dedicating the night to foreplay before entering you.
- his pace would be slow and steady, letting you adjust and feel comfortable with his presence
- your head would finally lull back with moans of his name before he picks up his pace to make you forget everything but you and him.
- he’d lean into your ear to whisper words of comfort, prioritizing your pleasure before his, like always.
- “fuck, you’re so beautiful baby, so good for me”
- “you’re so perfect, y/n dear. just like that mm.”
- dazai is a man of patience and he definitely takes that to bed with him
- yes, sex is so loving and sweetly teasing with dazai
- but i didn’t say this man isn’t a FREAK either.
- he absolutely loves pounding you from the back, moaning complete obscenities in your ear, quietly enough just for you to hear
- his hands binding your wrists behind you as his thrusts get rougher and faster.
- and all you could do is whimper and bite down your lifted dress to hush yourself
- all while he rams into your wet pussy from behind <3
- and oh…did i mention this would all be happening in a bathroom of an event.
- “ah ah pretty girl, keep that little voice of yours down” his other hand would grip your face to make you look at him, “wouldn’t want the other agents catching us, don’t you think?”
- wow a man who can make you feel like a princess to a slut so fast! we love that.
- but of course if you’re uncomfortable with semi-public sex or anything of the sort, he’d respect your boundaries 100%
- but if you’re into that…ignore atsushi when he asks why he can never find you and dazai.
- would definitely be open to any kind of kink.
- i see dazai actually wanting to experience a lot more with someone who he has emotional ties with (he’d honestly be more comfortable and confident)
- but for him, i see him being curious or very into sensory deprivation like blindfolding
- it takes trust to a whole different level in his eyes
- if you let him cover your eyes and allow him to take care of you, it’s field day for him.
- (also wouldn’t be entirely opposed to the idea of being blindfolded as well…)
- absolutely loves receiving oral.
- i think getting on your knees for him is the closest you’ll ever have him slurring words, just completely mindfucked with the way your tongue swirls over his sensitive tip
- …but that is a conversation for another day.
- has a strong fixation on fingering AND giving you oral. oh my god.
- he knows how to use those lanky gifted fingers, and he’s cocky about it too.
- could also literally cum every-time you let him bind your hands to the bedpost while he finger fucks you
- not even giving his throbbing cock attention, all of that is stirred to the way you’re grinding your hips against his cum coated fingers.
- over and over again, until you’re legit crying out his name
- just a little prepping before getting the bed to really start slamming against the wall whew.
- “cmon baby, cum on my fingers, show me how much you like my fingers fucking you like this hm”
- yeah if you haven’t noticed already, this mans’ dirty talk would also makes YOU cum on the spot.
- hits that sweet spot every single time. with his fingers, tongue, and or cock.
- he knows your body like the back of his hand
- but no matter what kind of activities you two get tied up in, aftercare is a must for this man.
- he’d assist cleaning you both up, making sure you’re absolutely okay every single time.
- then he’d let you curl up next to him, tucking you under his chin before caressing your skin with his fingers— humming to you into a slumber.
- he’d probably ramble on about something or tell you how amazing you are, kissing your forehead area— before exchanging that, “i love you”
- every single time
- he’d make sure your breathing stays steady and calm as you drift off, taking in the moment of silence
- he’d ever so silently thank whatever gave him the possibility to end up with an angel.
📰 : A/N -> ahhh i hope this is okay! i’ve never wrote head-canons before so i apologize if some parts seemed really dragged on lol but regardless, thank you for the love <3
at this point its not even a joke when i say i hate dazai
#i do #i really do <3 #interesting character who is fun to analyse and use as a tool in my fics #and hes tolerable when hes in kunikidazai fluff #but the canon dazai infuriates me beyond belief <3 #bsd
I wrote this a long time back but I really like it! Also, requests are open for Atsushi, Dazai, Akutagawa and Chuuya, so send them in uwu
Chuuya x fem!reader (fluff)
"Sometimes I wish I could see yourself through my eyes"
Flipping through the photo album that contained pictures of your friends and you having fun, a tear escaped your eyes and flowed down your cheek. Why did things have to end this way? Why does this always happen to me? You wonder out loud and another tear falls onto the album.
Surprised by Chuuya suddenly entering your room, you accidentally drop the album onto the floor.
“Hey,” you say, trying your best to hide that you were almost crying a few seconds back.
Chuuya comes to you and lifts the album off the floor. He looks at you, examining you closely.
“Stop it, you’re scaring me,” you say, uncomfortable as he stares at you for a long time.
“Were you crying?”
You keep quiet, and Chuuya softly runs his finger under your eyes and finds it wet at the corner.
“What happened, n/n? You can tell me, you know.”
Trying not to cry, you tell Chuuya how your friends betrayed you. By the time you’re done, the tears are already flowing down your cheeks.
Chuuya sighs, which gets you confused. Why would he sigh now?
“Y/n, have you ever thought about others in your life? Okay, have you thought about me? Have you ever thought about how much I love you? Because I love you, I really do. There are moments when I am tired of everything in life. I get tired of working hard for the Mafia, tired of being an executive that most look up to- the list is endless. But then I remember that there’s something good about this life, and that’s you. You’re the reason I get out of bed in the mornings. You’re the reason I am happy despite my worries. If that doesn’t convince you’re more than enough and amazing, here’s something. Sometimes, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. You’ve got a heart that knows what to do and when to do it. You write so beautifully that I get lost in the world of your words. And your smile- it’s just so warm that it melts my heart. It gives me energy. The way you take care of me when I’m unwell, the way you cheer me up when I’m low- they all make you very much precious to me. I love you, y/n, a lot, and I want you to know that.”
Before you can say a thing, Chuuya pulls you close to him and kisses you passionately. You blush and kiss back.
What he said was true. He loved you. So what if your friends didn’t? Quality is better than quantity, after all!
#bsd x y/n #bsd x you #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x you #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd writing#bsd fluff #bsd dazai osamu #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #osamu dazai x reader #bsd dazai x you #bsd dazai x reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai x reader #bsd hcs#bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs hcs #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bsd #bungou stray dogs
Pairing: Anybody x reader. (It's all gender neutral.)
Word count: 700
Summary: Your family breaks down but you have someone to look after you and hold you as you cry.
Nobody's life was perfect, but yours was so close to it. Your family was the best thing that happened to you and every day was filled with happiness and smiles.
Good, happy days when everything was perfectly fine in your life because no matter what else happened, you had your family to back you up. Everyday your home would be flourishing with an atmosphere of happiness, satisfaction and perfect harmony.
It was perfect. All so perfect.
Smiles and jokes, laughter and playful banter exchanged between your family every day, it was all so perfect that it was bound to break sometime soon. The consistent days of happiness had to break it's long streak.
You knew it would. But that doesn't mean you were ready for it.
In a fraction of a second, it all broke down. The warm and comforting atmosphere had turned cold and daunting. The home that was usually filled with laughter and happiness was now loud with angry shouting and frustration.
One word was all it took to break the year long perfection in your house. It was bound to happen, like it did before, but that doesn't mean that you were in any way prepared for it.
In one night, your family broke down once more into the cold hearted, dysfunctional place you called home.
And there shattered your perfect world, the supportive pillar that was your family. The stable constant you relied on, that you had trusted would remain forever with you. Shattered. Into pieces that you knew would take months to put back together.
And you knew that after a few months it would all go back to normal, to the perfection that it once was before. But you knew that it would only be temporary. This cycle of perfection and dysfunction was one that you knew had no end to. Because that's what cycles are, right?
A continuous, repetitive process that just happened over and over again.
But that didn't mean that you had gotten used to it. That you hadn't gotten to attached to the perfect harmony that was too good to be true. There would always be a fall, a pit to trap you into it's deep and dark clutches.
And for now, all you can do is cry. Cry for the loss of your family. Not physically lost, but definitely mentally and emotionally. And for now, all you could do is find comfort in a different pillar, place your trust in a different person.
The person who now had their arms encircled around you in a tight hug, stroking your hair and pressing soft and gentle kisses to your head. Their familiar smell and touch overpowering the negative thoughts in your brain and flooding your senses as you clutched their shirt tighter, your sobs residing into shaky breaths and hitching gasps.
You had crumpled into their arms as soon as they touched your shoulder to ask if you were okay. You had known full well that they wouldn't take "I'm fine" for an answer. One gentle touch from them and your facade cracked terribly, tears leaking into your eyes as you collapsed against them.
They had rubbed comforting circles on your back and whispered quiet words of encouragement and love into your ears, their own heart breaking at the sight of your vulnerability that you chose to let them see. They didn't let go until you had been able to match their breathing, until you had listened to their heartbeat for long enough for your own to be able to imitate the normal pace.
They wiped the tears off your face and gently kissed your cheeks, right under your eyes. You sniffled and pushed them away. "No..." you wiped your nose with your sleeve, putting a little distance between yourselves. "I'm all tears and snot. Let me go wash my face first."
They had only nodded before hugging you one last time, giving you a right squeeze and praising your bravery for trusting them enough to open up to them. Then they let you go clean yourself up with the unsaid promise of dedicating the rest of their day looking after you with utmost care and softness.
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my cherished inevitable downfall (gn!reader x dazai)
summary - enemies to lovers type beat. on a beach, on your only day off.
pairing - gn!reader x dazai
recommended song - merry go round of life (by joe hisaishi)
a/n - ahh to be y/n
“you were supposed to ignore me.”
Sand nestled in between your toes, the slow rise of the shore washing up along your ankles and drifting back into the distance. Peaceful, the sun that buried itself in the tall mountains far south, peeking above jagged edges of snow and rock once more to present the evening dim.
“i was?” A teasing tone, childlike wonder gleaming in the eyes of the brunette standing just before you. He was wearing a casual white button up that wasn't quite all that well buttoned up, revealing the skin just below his collarbone. It was quite the contrast when compared to his work attire. “i find that rather difficult when facing the culprit to all my crime investigations right in front of me.”
You raised an eyebrow. “we see each other almost every single day because of your line of work. i get tired of seeing you, i’m sure you feel the same.”
“how brash, you didn't even ask for my opinion.”
You didn't need to ask for his opinion, but Osamu Dazai had a mind of his own, and you found yourself falling into his adamant trap of foolery. Despite being a member of an organization so highly looked upon, he certainly did not act the part. “how many times have you tried to imprison me?”
He hesitated before speaking, raising a hand to his chin as if to consider it. “i believe today makes it the twenty-first.”
Today. You’d been a fool to think he would leave you alone.
Instead of expressing any disdain, you glowered back at his smile, a part of you thawing at the fact that he’d cared enough to remember. “well,” you started, pausing to think of a way to even reply to an answer like that. “i didn’t expect you to actually be counting.”
“why wouldn’t i? these encounters are important to me.”
You missed his tactful stare, and the edges of your lips perked to a small smile as you tried to hold in the laugh. The thought was absurd, your mind knew it with every fiber of its being. But your body… you could feel the heat rush into your cheeks before you even considered taking it seriously, you were dissolving at his words. Even if you didn't want to.
“well they aren't to me,” you managed to force out, crossing your arms over your chest and puffing out your cheeks in exasperation to hope he didn't notice how much it had affected you. “go and do something normal on your day off.”
“i’m perfectly happy here~”
Pivoting back to face him, you made your skepticism evident. “liar.”
“I’m not lying.”
Scoffing, you only needed to take a step before inches away from his face. “Yes you are.”
It seemed to finally dawn on him that whatever words he had at his disposal wouldn't work against your wall of dubiety. But he had nothing but words, and settled with leaning down to meet your gaze, grinning ear to ear.
You hated his confidence.
But nothing could have prepared you for his words.
“my esteemed rival,” he murmured. “my beloved nemesis.” Taken aback by the hidden meaning, you didn't flinch away when his hand came to hold your cheek. “my cherished inevitable downfall.``
“i do not jest,” his voice was now soft. “and you know it.”
Synopsis: Saturo’s missions were always hard- for the both of you. Especially the ones that take him across the country for weeks on end.
Warnings: none, fluff ! (Not proofread)
an: may or may not be based off the big time rush song...
Too say Gojo was slumped would be a understatement, (though the strongest himself would rather die than admit it), he felt as if his body could give out any second.
Everything about his profession came like a breeze to the lanky man- after all he's the Saturo Gojo- yet one thing he never looked foreword to was the after effects on his body and clothes after a long fight, not to mention the absentness of you.
His head pounded at the back of his skull, clothes soiled and heavy; the mission was a tiring one, spanning a little over a week and right now he was only on day three of his adventures.
Early mornings and late nights weren't a new thing, but the white haired male never fell short of a complainer; "Ynnnn! I had to wake up at 4 in the morning and Nanami didn't even share his coffee!" He whines holding the phone between his shoulder and neck.
"Oh no! You poor baby what ever will you do!" You fake coo holding back your giggles.
"Ugh! I can feel you rolling your eyes from here. You know it's not nice to give your hard working boyfriend such an attitude."
"Like you don't you get praised enough by your fans?" You hear Gojo let out a breathy laugh before replying, "Jealous?"
"No." You mumble. "Ah don't sweat it baby, their not you. Your the only one that matters." "Stop being cheesy." "Like you aren't blushing y/n." Gojo smirks, knowing he's right.
You smile; Your boyfriend even over phone can read you so well.
You let out a quiet yawn breaking the silence from both lines. "Tired?" He asks, " 's okay, tell me about your day", And at this it was his turn to smile goofy.
"Its late baby, I'll try to call you earlier and tell you about my day, go to sleep."
"Yea", you yawn again, "You should probably go to bed too sleeping beauty. Wouldn't want poor Nanami to deal with a whiny Saturo for a fourth day in a row." Your lover snickers, "Very true."
"Well Call me tomorrow when your done! Stay safe, love you and goodnight 'turu."
"Goodnight Angel." And with that the call ends...
Yea, it was for certain, Saturo Gojo thinks; your his favorite part of any long day.