Why hello there! I think this one turned out really good! Also I have THE DEMON FEVER....BUT THAT MUSN’T STOP THE GREATNESS!!! Rest assured I am not over exerting myself, I still feel bad for not posting though, but I can’t control it.
Warning- needles/syringes, slight vomit references, blood Talks of EVVVIILLL, boning someone you just met.
The last thing you expected to see in your backyard was an injured man fall out of the sky. They VERY last thing you expected was to see was an injured man vomiting up bright blue bile. Like he ate a blue hi-liter.
One minute you were getting ready to go the bed and the next minute you heard thumping, followed by banging, followed by car alarms going off. Just as you had thrown the door open, you could see a man falling out of a tree. Not before his clothes caught on a few branches, scratching him up pretty badly. Or at least you thought it was a “him”.
“What the hell!?” were the first words to leave you before you bolted towards whoever had just fallen onto your property. You could made out a head of faded whit-ish hair, but that was about it. They were dressed head to toe in black, barely just blending in with the pitch black field of grass across your backyard.
Who ever this man was had to be holding on for dear life. Just as you made it to his side, he began coughing. He was hunched over, holding his stomach. He was coughing up a strange looking liquid.
“Oh shit.” you shuddered. “Shit, shit, shit! Sir?” You knelt down beside him, hovering over the stranger. “Please don’t be dead.”
The man let out a pained groaned, rolling over onto his back. His eyes wouldn’t open but you knew for sure he was still breathing.
“Please...” his voice was hideously hoarse and crackly. “Help me.” he croaked. “Before they...come back.”
He finally opened his eyes to reveal a pair of iridescent lavender colored irises. As soon as he met your gaze, a smile spread across his face. How the hell was he smiling in an instance like this, you had no clue. “An angel.” he whispered. He weakly raised his hand and caressed the side of your face.
“Okay, um...Should I just-” you attempted to help him up, however the more you touched him the more his pain set in. “Okay, just-I-Uh...”you were able to drape his arm around your shoulder. You struggled to stand to your feet, seeing as he wasn’t really cooperating with you. You finally made it to your feet, this stranger leaning against you. “Okay...you gotta at least try and work with me.”
“I can’t exactly do that.” he groaned in response.
“Right.” you sighed, doing your best to drag him along.
You dropped him on your couch, huffing out a breath of relief.
“You’re bleeding.” you whimpered. “I need my first aid kit.” He was losing blood and fast, you had to do something soon. You didn’t mention the fact that it looked like he was bleeding red wine mixed in with fine glitter. It was kind of pretty.
“Human methods won’t work on me.” the stranger coughed. “I need magical methods.” he breathed.
You didn’t have time to question whether or not he was serious. He was obviously hurt. He couldn’t have been lying if this was as much as a life or death situation as you had thought.
“Look into my coat pocket.” he struggled to unbutton his peacoat. “Inject me with the syringe inside...h-hurry.” he winced. You promptly unbuttoned his coat and as he said, there was a syringe inside. It was glowing red. You grabbed it and held it in both hands.
“Where?” you scanned his body.
“My c-chest.” he instructed, buttoning the first four buttons of his silk black shirt. “It won’t hurt me, at least not super badly. It can’t be any worse than how it feels now... just do it.”
With your eyes squeezed shut you could just feel the end of the syringe pierce his skin. You pressed down on the plunger, eyes still shut.
“You’re really freaked out by this aren’t you?” this stranger laughed stiffly.
“Very.” you squeaked you cracked an eye open as you took the syringe back. “D-did I do it?”
“We’ll see in a few minutes...I’m Hoseok.”
“Um...Y/N? Care to tell me why you fell into my backyard?” you shakily set the syringe down.
“I was trying to hide from being attacked.” he coughed.
“By who?!” your eyes wide slightly wide.
“Banshees, who else?” he sighed. “Stupid bitches. They tried to attack my clan.”
“Okay? How does that correlate with you falling out of the tree in my front yard?”
“Banshees would never visit human civilization, I didn’t have enough time to teleport.” he explained. “You’re taking this info really well, are you a mage?”
“No...don’t think so.” you raised an eyebrow. “Like I said, you’re too hurt to be lying about something like this. I’ve never seen a man-made injury so gruesome.” you shook your head.
You stared down at his chest, noticing that the nasty wound had been there was starting to vanish around the edges. “What did you do to anger the banshees?”
“Their leader called my kind lowly scum, so I called one of their leader a failed opera singer...As you can see, my kind aren’t really regarded as comedians.” he laughed dryly. “In my defense she proved my point.”
“I see.” you awkwardly laughed. “Um....your shirt is covered in blood.” you winced. “I’ll see if I can find another. You should probably clean up”
“All I need is 10 minutes and some running water.” (read more below the break)
... (A few minutes later)
“Um hey...I found some of my ex’s clothes.” you knocked on the bathroom door. “Can’t say if they’re clean or not.” you trailed off.
You peeked into the bathroom to see Hoseok ASS NAKED.
“OH MY! I am so sorry!” you slapped a hand over your eyes. Why did he say you could walk in??!!?
“It’s okay Y/N.” he laughed. “Are humans always this jumpy around something so natural?”
“Around complete strangers? Yeah.” you sighed. “Here. I hope they fit...I’ll be outside.”
Hoseok watched as you closed the door, then listened as you cursed yourself for barging in. You were cute for a human girl. Innocent too. You didn’t know about his world but he seemed to take a liking to you right away.
You were in the kitchen when he wandered in. Your ex’s clothes fit him well. You’d go as far to say they fit even better.
“Um... here.” you held out a mug of coffee. “I’m sure it’s not what you’re used to but-”
“It’s perfect.” he smiled. “Thanks.” he raised the mug to his lips and drank, watching you through hooded eyes. You could only look literally anywhere else. You were more beautiful than the women back home. You’d surely be the envy of everyone if they were to see you. To live in a human world where lowly men wouldn’t appreciate such looks.
He’d have to remember to ask the dressmakers if they’d be interested in crafting a dress for you...if you chose to come back with him that is. “Tell me about yourself Y/N.”
“Well, there’s not much to tell. My life is pretty boring...” you shrugged, practically hiding behind your coffee mug.
“No one’s life is boring.”
“Well it sure is uneventful.” you laughed dryly. “What about you?”
“My homeland is kinda small, but very full of life when you land in the midst of it.” he smiled. “I come from a line of Mages...or magic folk-”. He looked next to him. “Watch this.” he winked.
He flicked his fingers and like magic, the empty glass vase on the counter top had turned into a pretty statue.
“Woah...that’s so cool!” you smiled. “Do another!”
“Alright.” he laughed. He was more than happy, it’s been a while since he got to put on a show for something. He turned an old soda can that had been in the garbage into a little dancing man. He even took note of the dead flowers and bought them back to life.
How he did that, you didn’t know. It was awesome regardless.
“That’s so cool.” you giggled. “What are you anyways?”
“You can call it a wizard...warlock...at the end of the day we’re all mages.” he explained. “A magical race of human. We pride ourselves on learning everything.”
“Yeah...I can tell you more if you’re up for it?”
From the kitchen drinking coffee to the living room sitting on the ground, you couldn’t help but listen to everything Hoseok said. It was enchanting. You had never met someone more interesting than him.
“And after my relationship ended I moved out of the city into my small cozy little house and I’ve been stuck ever since.”
“Mages usually like to go out into the world...and we aren’t too keen on being held down to the ground.”
“Sounds like a dream...here you’re born, go to school for the most important years of your life and then you work till you die.” you sighed. “This world is built to kill light.”
Hoseok took note of how much your mood had faltered. He had no idea why he said what he was about to say, but he didn’t regret it.
“...Mine was built to give it.” he stared into your eyes. “You know...you could always-” how could he start? How could he say it. “You could visit me.”
“Really?” your head perked up at him. “You’d let me do that?”
“Y-yeah! My cabin isn’t that big, but there is a lot to do back at my home.” he smiled. “If you liked it enough...you could stay...” he said quietly. “With me.”
You started at Hoseok, unable to fathom his words. “You’d do that for someone you just met?” you raised an eyebrow in shock of what you were hearing.
“I don’t know what it is, but I think fate led us together, Y/N.”
“Fate?” you repeated. You didn’t move away as he neared closer. Hoseok looked down at you. He had never felt more at ease around a mortal in his life. “I guess those banshees did a good deed then huh?” You felt his fingers lace within your own.
“Don’t let them hear you say that, they’d go crazy.” he laughed jokingly. “Can I- Y/N...May I kiss you?”
Your answer came in the form of kissing him first. You would have normally never did this to someone you never met, but it felt right in a weird way. Hoseok held your cheeks in his hands, slowly easing you onto your back.
Hoseok pinned your hands above your head as you landed on your back. He had never met a dime much like you before, but something in him was very insistent on learning more.
You tightened your arms around his neck as he ran his hands up your thighs, wrapping your legs around his torso.
“You’re such a cute mortal...I’d love to hear the noises you make.” he began kissing down your jawline. “It’s very cute how you tremble under me. C-can I help you undress?”
Your shyly raised your arms above your head and Hoseok grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head. He practically drooled at the sight. You’d look so ravishing covered in marks. He hooked his hand around the waistband of your pajama pants and slowly pulled down, taking your panties with it.
He trailed his fingers down your front, ghosting his fingertips over your skin.
“You look so adorable laying there. You look kind of helpless.” he joked. “I love it though.” he shifted to his knees to practically tear the shirt he’d been wearing off his body. He crashed his lips over yours again before kissing down your jawline.
He trailed his lips down your chest and dragged his tongue down your stomach. With his mouth, came his fingertips scratching down your sides.
You weren’t used to someone you just met seeing you naked, let alone fucking them but it felt great nonetheless.
“Y/N, my little mortal.”
He laid slow, open mouthed kisses along your thighs. “You’re shaking...” he giggled. “You’re dripping~” his jaw went slack. “So fucking much. It makes me want to-” he hummed as he delved between your legs. You felt his tongue, his fingers, everything.
He drew his tongue up your slit, gently prying apart your folds with his tongue. His touch was mischievous and teasing.
“You’re shaking...has no man pleased you before?” he teased. He made lewd sounds with his mouth, purposefully making those loud suckling sounds in order to fluster you. “Y/N.” he moaned. “You taste so good.” he giggled. He held your thighs down as he lashed his tongue against your flesh.
“Cum? Yeah, go on and cum for me.” he drug his tongue up your slit. “I want to taste your lust.” he moaned. “Please?” he cooed.
“H-hoseok~” you whimpered, your legs shaking dramatically. “Fuh~ Ungh!” the rubberband in your core finally snapped and you came hard.
Hoseok held your thighs down, hook your legs around his shoulders as he carried you through your high.
“Shiiit~” he groaned, looking up at you. “Baby you’re so fucking sexy.” he moaned. “I can’t leave without you...I won’t.”
summary: Frustrated writer Jungkook is clawing his way to have a book published that he turned to plagiarizing an old manuscript he found inside an old typewriter he got online.
pairing: writer!jimin x fem!reader x writer!jungkook
genre: angst, historical au
warnings: angst, mention of death, mcd, plagiarism on jungkook's end, substance abuse, mention of breakup
Frustrated writer Jungkook ordered a vintage typewriter from a random Etsy shop for his birthday. He looked forward to getting it in hopes that he'd get in the zone of writing. Upon opening the item, he finds a lot of old manuscripts inside. It was full of beautifully written proses and he thinks it’s the answer to jumpstart his career if he sends it to a publisher.
“You’ve been going through these papers for the past 3 days” One of his roommates, Namjoon, quips at Jungkook who was intently reading each page, not touching the cup of coffee Yoongi made for them earlier today.
“This is it! This is my golden ticket to getting published, hyung!”
His roommate just chuckled at him.
Jungkook spent all night & week on his computer re-typing from the old, stained papers of the manuscripts.
“If this doesn’t work out, I quit being a writer for real”
He took a deep breath before hitting ‘send’ He anxiously watched as his email went through, closing his eyes for a bit to let the tension out.
Alas, the publishing house gives him a go signal in producing the copies of his new novel.
“Let’s celebrate tonight, alright? I don’t think we can do it with my new schedule”
He excitedly cracks a beer open, bringing it up to his lips. His roommates congratulated him. They were happy their hardworking youngest finally got the break he deserved.
"So you're moving out huh?" Namjoon says as he sips from his beer.
"Look at you all grown up, leaving me and Joonie to fend for ourselves now," Yoongi teasingly remarks.
"Hyung what the hell? Fending? Really? If you're talking about fending for one's self that's gonna be me. I can't cook for shit so I'm still crashing here from time to time"
Jungkook's new novel hit #1 and was the talk of the town. Book review sites and writers alike praised him. He was at the peak of his career and he was beyond ecstatic not until someone came in one of his book signing events.
He was asked to read a page to the microphone.
My beloved comet,
By the time you read this, you'll be moments away from walking down the aisle as I say a prayer for you that you may find meaning in what you're about to commit to. Sometimes I wonder why we ever met. Is it only for me to find fleeting happiness bút experience eternal pain? Is it only for us to find a true love but then lose it again? Or is it because there's a bigger plan for the two of us? I hope that you have experienced true happiness with me. I have done everything humanly possible to love you. And today, as you make your vows to him, my best friend, I write these words as my vow to you.
I will love you for the rest of my life. I loved you from the first time I laid eyes on you, to the time we spent together. But more importantly, I will love you until the life in me is gone and until we are together again. Do not worry about me. I will be happy for you. I have enough memories of us to last me a lifetime.
Your star from a million miles away
The lines queued as readers waited for their turn to have their copies signed by him. Everyone talked about how heart wrenching his words were. How wild his imagination was to write about a tragic loss he has never even went through.
“You must be very in love with your wife to be able to write such a beautiful piece, sir” the man says.
He smiles and bows his head.
“Thank you. Yes, she’s a gem”
That was a lie. Jungkook didn't have a wife or a husband at that matter. He was a single man who pretended he was in a relationship when he presented his writing to the publishers but nobody had to know that. The old man gives him a timid smile.
“I bet you remember how she did their hair in one of the chapters, don’t you?”
Jungkook looks at him quizzically.
“How about how the moonlight lit up her delicate features the night you confessed?”
The old man pushed further.
“I don’t get where you’re going, sir,” Jungkook retorts in confusion.
“Of course you don’t”
The man pulled back his signed copy and kept it in between his arms.
“Because I wrote them”
He gave Jungkook a sad smile before walking out of the venue.
Jungkook excused himself from everyone was ran after him.
“Sir! Sir! Excuse me. What do you mean by what you said earlier?”
He huffs, still trying to catch his breath.
“Her name is, well was, Y/N. Y/N was the love of my life. I spent half of my years writing literary pieces that will never get to her. How you got a hold of them I don't know”
A dumbfounded Jungkook stands still in his spot and was clearly at loss for words.
“What you ‘wrote’ isn’t your story to tell. It's mine and hers. Tell me, have you been in so much pain that your body is just a shell of the man you used to be?”
Jungkook stayed mum.
“Mr. Jeon, I’m sure you love your wife or partner or whatever you kids call it nowadays. I get and respect that. But have you ever imagined them marrying your friend? How their smile shows contentment but her eyes says otherwise?”
Jungkook only shook his head.
The man was about to go on his way but stopped when Jungkook called him again.
“What happened? Who are you? Why didn’t you go after her?”
The man chuckles.
“You ask too much. If there’s any takeaway in life that you need to hear from an old prick of a war veteran – Keep them close. Love them as if it’s your last. People like them are comets that pass by your earth once in a millennium; Y/N was my comet but I am still grateful to have lived in the same lifetime as her though she married my best friend Taehyung. Nothing is fair in love and war. Literally & figuratively.”
The old man turns around before saying his final word.
“Come to think of it, the title ‘Captain’ doesn’t have a nice ring to it beside Park. It wasn’t worth it. Not when I chose a tangible career over her.”
Those were Jimin's final words before they parted ways, never crossing paths for the next years until Jimin’s passing that he found out through a newspaper obituary.
Jungkook’s career sky rocketed but his personal life only plummeted to a web of problems - one lie after another - where it affected his personal life. He was mentally in shambles, more distant and cold; not the same guy his friends once knew him. Not even his family.
Jungkook's alcohol tolerance has always been good. He enjoyed drinking with his friends. But ever since his last encounter with Jimin it got out of control. It started with a simple day drinking until it wasn't. When that wasn't numbing the pain inside his soul, he resorted to using other substances only he could get from his underground supplier.
"Jungkook, you need to get your shit together. This isn't you"
His eldest brother Seokjin confronted him.
"Hyung, all is good. What do you mean?"
"What is all good with drinking and your new found drug addiction?!"
"I got this, okay? And I don't do drugs. I don't know what you're talking about"
"I'm not gonna pretend I didn't see the burnt back of the spoon in your bathroom counter or the the needles that's scattered all over your house. It's a fucking crack den in here!"
"Shut up, hyung!" Kicking his own brother out of the house. Even shouted at him calling him a bastard as Seokjin drove away.
He’s a writer. Sure he can pen the star crossed lovers' ending, right? and so he did but his publisher, Hoseok, thinks it was poorly written. Jimin’s words were everything he never wrote but wished he did.
"Listen, Jeon. I'm gonna be real honest with you alright. This is trash. What happened to your touch?"
Guilt chewed him whole and spat him out. He wasn’t a writer, he was a con. This was a secret Jeon Jungkook, the renowned novelist, is taking to his grave.
“I hope you’re slow dancing with Y/N up there, Jimin-ssi” he utters under his breath as he stood in front of the late captain's headstone, leaving the bundled manuscripts to its rightful owner.
Jungkook went home that day locked up in his house only to be found by his now disheveled brother lifeless the next day.
Summary - You would never expect it really. He's doting. He's sweet. He's hardworking. But he's forgotten his morals. Suspecting it is one thing, but when he confirms it, will you stay or walk away.
Warning - Cheating(Aftermath); Confusion; Sadness; Pure Angst! Fluff (if you squint);
Word Count - 2.9k
Earlier that day…
'You doing okay, Kook?'
Jungkook whipped his head toward his Hobi hyung, so caught up in his camera he didn't notice the man walk up next to him.
'Fine, hyung,' he twisted a chord into perfect circles with his fingers. 'I'm glad Noona asked for my help. It was good.'
'Yeah, me too. I was with y/n when Kenta asked her to help him plan.'
'How long ago was that?'
Hoseok shrugged, 'Three maybe four weeks ago.'
Jungkook's eyes widened, as he placed the rest of the equipment in their slots. 'That's a lot of weeks to be nervous. He looked terrified today.'
Hoseok burst into laughter, and stared adoringly at his dongseang. 'I would be too.'
Jungkook scrunched his nose. 'I don't understand. I mean if a girl's dated you for so long, why be scared that she's going to say no.'
'It's because there is still a chance of getting rejected. Sometimes it's because they're not ready, sometimes people are in different places in their minds than others.'
Hoseok put his hands in his pockets, 'Kind of like you these days.'
'What do you mean?' Jungkook turned to face his hyung fully, a puzzled expression on his face.
'You're quiet Jungkook-ah,' Hoseok pouted. 'We're all really worried about you, ever since, well, you know.'
Jungkook averted his gaze.
It was clear to Hoseok that Jungkook didn't want to pursue the issue, but it had been weeks and Jungkook was shutting everyone out.
Usually everyone would leave him alone, because pushing him would make him dive further into his shell, but Hoseok wanted to try something different.
'Did you know that you're y/n's bias wrecker?'
'Namjoon hyung is her bias.'
'Yes, but Jungkook is the one that can drag her kicking and screaming from him.' Hoseok leaned forward and added, 'figuratively, ofcourse.'
Jungkook instinctively turned to find y/n, his Noona talking to Yuna, Kenta not far behind. It was evident how happy she was for them.
'Why are you telling me this Hobi hyung?'
'Because, y/n can be having the worst day of her life, but she will look at you smile or hear you sing, and it's like, everything else falls away. I know, I've seen it.'
'I didn't ask for her to care so much about me.'
'Did she ask you to care about her, or did you do it naturally, because she is who she is?
Jungkook didn't have an answer to that. On one hand he felt guilty, for making his loved ones worry, on another, he wanted to feel the way he was feeling and get through it on his own.
'I have a lot of love for you. Fans, army, there are people that would go to the ends of the earth for you.' Hoseok explained. 'And you don't need a reminder of that, ofcourse. I just want you to understand that you're allowed to be sad, you have every right to be, but when you stay like this for too long, it makes the rest of us sad too.'
Something in Jungkook twisted in protest, and another knew Hoseok was telling the truth. He didn't want to make anyone else sad, he also didn't want to feel the way he had been feeling for these past few weeks.
'I'm not telling you this to blame you Jungkook. It's not a responsibility to keep everyone around you happy. When you love someone, when you care for them, you want them healthy, happy, protected, by any means necessary, seeing them be sad…' he winced before completing her sentence, 'it stings.'
'I didn't mean to,' Jungkook shook his head, trying to find the right words to apologise with, also needing to grasp what exactly he was apologizing for.
'No, listen. It's an unfortunate responsibility, Kook-ah. From me to you, the good ones, like your hyungs, seeing you happy, listening to your voice, your music, watching the personification of passion, it's worth sticking around for in the world.'
Hoseok paused and thought about his next words.
'And it's because of who you are. You're simple.' Hoseok spoke off the visual that was at the forefront of her mind. 'The only thing that matters is how much you enjoy doing what you do. This person you become when you sing and dance and give it your all. It's something to stare at, to appreciate, this man is doing this thing, just freaking living.
So many of us walk around aimlessly, we don't know what we want exactly, sometimes our purpose is to survive, some just financial stability, but you're one of the good ones. I'll admit I was jealous at one point. This man, younger than me, well known, famous, worth so much love and deserving so much more. And it's so hard to dislike you for it. Because you are so genuinely caring, you don't ask for a lot.'
'You work so hard, you sacrificed so much. Aches and pains, sleepless nights, you were rushed growing up, away from your family, pushed into a chosen one, and when you're that young you latch onto what you see, the ones that protect you that become a home away from home.'
The light fizzing out from his eyes, Hoseok came back to Earth, back to reality.
'I know you're upset, but no matter who we look up to, we can't always expect them to be perfect.'
Hoseok took Jungkook through avenues of emotions he couldn't ever hope to escape, but he understood what his hyung was saying.
Jungkook knew he loved performing, he knew his journey had been hard, and the start of it all, was his hyungs. The start of it all was one specific man.
'We learn from them, the good and the bad.'
Hoseok whispered, his tone, now tight, jaw clenching slightly, as if he was battling himself internally.
Jungkook's dread, the train at the back of his mind that hadn't stopped, led to his retort.
'And what do I take from this, hyung, that disloyalty can happen to me, that if I don't have enough control, I can cheat too.' He shook his head vehemently, thick emotion rushing to the forefront. 'I don't want to hurt someone like that.'
'You take what he did after, Jungkook.'
Hoseok watched Jungkook spiral, watched the fear he'd been hiding for weeks now surface and war with him. A voice in his head telling him if he could become the good his hyungs had become, why couldn't he become the bad.
Jungkook idolised Namjoon. Every achievement of his, something to work toward, every word he said, hung on, Namjoon's existence was for Jungkook a privilege to experience. So to have the man make a mistake that went against the very basis of his moral compass, it ravaged the younger male. It left a question mark on every persona of Namjoon that Jungkook had stored away for years.
Hoseok remained calm, making better progress than he had expected to, he needed Jungkook to listen. 'He told y/n the truth, himself. He stuck by her for her safety and anyone that tried to get to her. He made sure his band career was okay, a paperwork trail to use, a fighting chance.'
Jungkook whispered a harsh truth, one he was afraid to say, but one he needed to hear for himself. 'For the first time in my life I don't want to be Namjoon hyung.'
It hurt to hear it, and would hurt to say it, but Hoseok had to. 'Maybe, that's a step up to you becoming Jungkook.
Jungkook didn't react. He didn't move. He didn't shift. He was monotone, stable, but there was a raging storm of emotions in the youngest male of the band, his pain so deep, it suffocated him.
Love was not supposed to hurt people like this.
This was not Jungkook's burden. He wasn't supposed to be letting it fester into something so lethal.
'Jungkook you are not going to be Namjoon. You aren't going to be any of us. You will not make our mistakes.'
'And if I make even worse ones?'
'I believe in you enough to know you won't. But you can see for yourself, we're all there for Namjoon, and yes some of us are more upset than others, but we stuck by him. We'll be with you, every time, every step of the way and bring you back home.'
The maknae considered his hyungs word, moved by the declaration, eternally grateful that he had the family that he did.
It was hard to accept Namjoon's mistake, but it had been all for all of them -- especially y/n.
Jungkook knew that she was hurting, keeping everything in for the benefit of everyone else. To the world, she looked poised and put together, to Jungkook, with whom she all but had a secondary bond with, could see she was the living dead.
Y/n used to make jokes, used to initiate hugs and holding hands, she'd scrunch her nose and bat her eyes in mischief, y/n had lost all signs of life, that made her who she was. But she was surviving.
If y/n, who had the most right to be begrudging, was making it work, albeit, in her own, cold, closed up, mask up for the world type of way -- Jungkook could too.
'I need time.'
Hoseok nodded at the words. He understood that his dongsaeng had to have a mental shift -- and that took time. But just to remind him, in that time to give a sign, something, 'Your hyung needs you, you know. He's terrified that he can't get you back.'
Jungkook let a little of himself shine through as he asked his next question. 'Is Noona going to forgive him?'
It caught Hoseok off guard, because it sounded like something he, himself, would say, but Jungkook's tone did him in, making him smile softly, that it was code for 'I will if she will'.
'She already has, Kook. She's in love with him. I'm not entirely sure in her own head why she forgave him as soon as he told her, but she did.'
'How are you so sure?'
'Because, she started fixing things for him as soon as she dusted herself off.'
Y/n's need to speak for Namjoon, to support him, to fix things for him, it tore into everyone around her, whether she noticed it or not.
She kept saying she was managing, but Hoseok knew better. Y/n was devastated and she hadn't let herself feel it yet.
Everytime she smiled, every word of reassurance, a lie, but he wouldn't call her out on it. Y/n needed time to work out her process too.
Hoseok gave Jungkook a long look before letting the issue drop. He'd said what he needed to say, and he knew some of it got through to the maknae. But just like the rest of them, Jungkook needed time.
Because Jungkook may be an adult now, but he grew up with six hyungs that all formed parts of who he was. He learned how to speak and answer questions without using words to hold him accountable, he had to learn to carry himself, chin up, despite how he was feeling. He had to be Jungkook that the world could see, Jungkook that his hyungs could count on, but Jungkook needed to be Jungkook. And unfortunately, even he had to learn that every bond, no matter the form, the time, or the depth, carried the risk of a broken heart.
Finally zipping up the camera bag, Jungkook folded his arms and admitted. 'I don't...know how to feel hyung.' He folded his arms, 'I haven't spoken to him, or acknowledged him, I just… shut off.'
'I get it.' Hoseok sounded far away. 'I get why you did it. And it's okay. I've done it before too.'
Jungkook looked up at his sunshine hyung, as he waited for Hobi to elaborate.
'When it hits you, that you haven't spoken to him, or anyone else, and that you've shut yourself out, it's like, you've walked too far away from home and need to turn back.'
Jungkook tilted his head to the side. 'That's… accurate.'
Blowing out a breath, Jungkook attempted to alleviate the tightness in his chest as he bared himself a little more. 'I'm not sure how to do this, Hobi hyung. Won't it be awkward now?'
'Nope.' Hobi did one of his rare pouts, rocking back on his heels as he gave his advice. 'It takes a step, one step. Maybe, 'a hyung help me out with this song', or 'hyung can I sit in on your recording session' , or 'hyung are you doing okay'?'
Jungkook was sure it couldn't be that easy, but it seemed like the only option he had right now. That left another question in his mind. Since he was being honest, better to ask now than let it swirl in his head.
'Why haven't you forgiven Namjoon hyung?'
'I have. He's Namjoon. There's no way I couldn't have.'
Jungkook pursed his lips, his eyes narrowed. 'But…'
Hoseok nodded in acceptance. 'But I'm so cold and hostile and hurtful?' The sunshiny male clicked his tongue, 'I can't help it.'
Jungkook was trying to make sense of the words, because Hoseok's reply, it seemed like, he really couldn't help it, like even if he tried, he was beside himself to react in any other way.
His Hobi hyung wasn't even present at the moment, he had a far off look on his face.
Cautiously, Jungkook stepped into Hoseok's personal space, following his eyeline -- he found y/n, her smile wide as she held her best friend's hand and gushed about the ring, and wedding ideas were being brainstormed.
Jungkook's chest tightened. Y/n was close to Hoseok, Hoseok was close to y/n. Turning back to his hyung, Jungkook noted that Hoseok looked oddly satisfied, the ends of his mouth twitching as y/n laughed with Yuna.
Jungkook had no doubt in his mind, right now, Hoseok forgot the world around him.
Like, in that moment only y/n existed and for Jung Hoseok -- and it seemed like that was perfection on its own
Young in his innocence, wise beyond his years Jungkook asked honestly, 'Are you in love with her, hyung?'
Hoseok didn't react and for a minute Jungkook thought he hadn't heard him, but then, 'I was.'
Jungkooks mouth dropped open for a second, before he caught himself -- doing his best to mask his shock. 'Does she know?'
'Y/n would know. Y/n always knows.'
Hoseok wasn't speculating.
It was seen in the way y/n let Hoseok hug her, but not for too long, where she'd hold his hand and squeeze in reassurance but not keep it there, where she'd smile in comfort, and spend hours talking to him, but never stay over. She would compliment him, not flirt. She would text him but not constantly, and she'd made it known, there was love for him, but she was not in love with him. That space, reserved for one man, and one man only, one who Hoseok really truly hoped could make things right.
Hoseok had been through it. He had to think about it long and hard, he had to wish for it, like some internal schoolboy pining. He had to watch y/n love Namjoon, in so many more ways than he thought possible.
He had to feel guilt at wanting his best friends wife, he wanted to gather his feelings into a ball and squash it under his shoe, he wanted y/n to stop being so nice and caring and stop being so her, most of all he wished he had a spare heart, so he could claw his existing one out and replace it.
But Jung Hoseok, was a big boy. Sure, he knew y/n's favourite latte was vanilla cinnamon, but because the maknaes saw her drinking caramel spice once, they always got it for her, so she went along with it.
Yes, he knew she preferred all types of seafood, but didn't cook any at home because her husband loved crabs.
But he knew y/n only looked up at Namjoon, like he hung the moon and stars just for her, she would not allow any other to do the same, she would not look at another that way ever again.
But it didn't stop his feelings. He really couldn't help it.
Y/n just made Hoseok feel happier. Like smiling for no reason could happen anytime, all the time. Like rain was just wet and the sun was just warm, both the rain and sun rays could be a dancing partner. Like this life, that had him breathing, that had him living, he could feel for someone, as he went about it.
But y/n wasn't his -- he had to be okay with that.
He would enjoy her in any way he could. He would protect her. He would stand by her. He would be her best friend. He would make her smile. He would listen to her laugh. Even though he knew it could lead to nothing more than it was right now, he wouldn't cross the line, he would respect boundaries.
He would be Hoseok, and he would remember that Jung Hoseok could never be Kim Namjoon… no matter how much he wanted to be.
This is what he said before formally beginning to say his ending speech:
🐰When I was singing “Spring Day”, I was seeing the empty seats from this cold, somewhat empty stage and tears swelled up. Well, while we passed through the long, hard time
🐰— guys, I know you also had your share of that hard time. Anyway, I’ve become an adult. So I could hold back my tears. But who knows. (🐰laughs) (🐥I’d object) Okay, then, let’s say I can’t hold back my tears yet. If we had ARMYs here, I’d have burst into tears right away
🐰I really missed you guys a lot. And while I couldn't see ARMYs… You know, my favorite motto has always been “Rather die than live without passion" and I lived up to it. But I realized that the flame that burned within me went out one by one.
🐰So I’ve been doing things half-heartedly. I didn't know that I was in that status, that my passion was being cooling down. But when I stood on this stage today, the one that ARMYs would be watching from afar, this feeling came to me so acute.
🐰That I should hurry up and go to meet you guys in person. We’ll fly right to the other side of the globe, that is, Brazil or anywhere it may be, if we have the chance. So, you guys, please wait a little more. You guys, really, all I need to do is to perform.
🐰The stage is the best thing for me. Guys, I miss you so much.
🐰I hope today’s performance turned out to be a good one for you, and I will end my comment here. Thank you for giving us this valuable time. I love you, ARMY.