summary: a shocking murder prompts a corrupt detective to insert himself within your elite circle of friends. behind the bright casino lights lies a twisted web of dangerous alliances, illicit affairs, all driven by an insatiable lust for power. play your cards right and you might survive. but even if you get lucky, but the house always wins
A criminal appetite for affection
I romanticize murder, know you sweating
And I think I got a thing for a felon—nexus by niykee heaton
premise: whether it be skinny dipping in the rivera, fucking friends in your fiancé’s penthouse, or getting high on the dance floor—you’re no stranger to the limelight. but what you weren’t expecting was to get accused of murdering your best friend on the night of your engagement to his younger brother—the heir of a notorious casino conglomerate
series warnings: another wild sexual adventure—lots of explicit smut, every part, drug use, arms dealing, themes of revenge, manipulation, greed, obsession, possessive & toxic behaviors, betrayal, blackmail, infidelity, slow burn oh baby you’re gonna feel it, you’re gonna want it, some slight violence, adrenaline rushes for days, some themes of wealth/class/poverty, binormative universe, brief mentions of mxm relationships, stalking/privacy invasion, kim line are brothers
a/n: just posting this now so its there but yeah HELLO SEXY HUMANS! first off, thank you all so much for 1000+ notes on Death Valley. here is my gift to you, a new series! this is something ive had in the works for a while, im super excited about it, its gonna be fucking insane, full of luxury, scandal, hotttt sex but like in a way where you’re like aching for it. its a thriller so, buckle up folks :) i will be doing a posting schedule, itll probably be weekly or biweekly updates <3 also the header will change so its not a jungkook fic its ot7!!! everyone gets fucked, multiple times.
part 0 | smut ft: taehyung x reader, seokjin x reader
In which waking up as a whole has become somewhat of a dissapointment to Jungkook- and accepting help, be it professional or simply your constantly outreached hand, feels like a disaster waiting to happen. After all, all he does is fucking things- or fuck things up.
Tags/warnings: Angst, Its so angsty, Depression, a pinch of self-hatred, smoking, mentions of drinking, mentions of divorced parents, mentions of addiction, Jungkook uses sex to cope, basically fuckboy!Kook, hopeless romantic!Reader, Dead dove: Do not eat (Meaning: other potentially triggering content I won't tag as to not spoil the content.)
Please, if you can see even a hint of yourself in Kook in this story, I'd really like you to know that there's no shame in reaching out for help. Please reach out if you feel the need to. There's, again, no shame in getting the help you deserve. You're worth it, even if you might think otherwise.
He'd almost let you into his apartment last night.
He stopped himself seconds before the words could come out, practically slamming the door into your face before his mind could betray him and let you inside. It's not even just the mess inside, but the mess that's him he doesn't want you to see- even though he's sure you're already aware of the train wreck that he was. After all, he'd just recently lost his job again, meaning he was yet again dependent on others to somehow make it to another day every single day. Even though waking up was the most disappointing moment of his every morning.
Why did he need to pay to simply exist, when he never asked to in the first place?
Out of place is how he feels as he clicks through all the job-listings online, nothing in particular catching his interest. He thinks about lighting a cigarette, but he doesn't have an ashtray inside his apartment- and he also never wanted to smoke inside at all anyways. But a small look around the laundry scattered and trash bags on the floor makes him sigh. Smoking should be the last thing he should be concerned about when he looked as his surroundings. There was a trail where he could see his floor- the same trail he took usually, bordered by clothes and other items like bags and cardboard boxes. He chuckles to himself as he thought about you recommending him to maybe get a pet. How could anything live inside this place apart from him? And then again, he didn't really feel alive at all- so maybe he didn't even count himself.
This was his coffin, self-made and dark and comfortable all at the same time.
He leans back in his chair, sighing out as he pulls out his phone, opening the dating app. He didn't feel like sleeping here tonight.
If the girl knew how he lived, or how the inside of his head looked, would she still ride him with the same excitement that she exhibited now?
Probably not, but then again, he lost the will to really care for it either- his looks a blessing and a curse at the same time for him as he let the feeling of pleasure run through him. Though he really could start to argue that pleasure wasn't really the right word to quite describe it. Sex had long lost its meaning to him, had long become boring and a simple need to feel anything at all as he gripped her hips tightly, almost rolling his eyes at the way she clenched around his dick inside her. Her moans were a bit much, but it was fine- he had no right to complain about it, after all.
Finding partners on dating apps wasn't that hard for him- his messages always very clear cut and direct. If someone couldn't handle that, he would shoot them down immediately. He wasn't on the search for something permanent or committed, he's too broke to spend money on dates, and at the end of the day he's really only searching for a quick fuck and a place to crash for the night until he had to return to his dumpster that was his apartment.
The girl had pretty expensive looking furniture, he noticed as he looked around, her nails scratching his chest a bit as she moved on his cock. Some plants here and there made him feel inferior to her somehow- he'd never be able to keep anything close to him alive for a long period of time. He'd seen a cat or something when she'd brought him inside as well, the sight almost alienating him completely from the world she seemed to exist in. It smelled nice, fresh and clean, not stuffy and like past dinners like his apartment did.
"Don't you dare cum right now-" He grits out as he can feel her become a little tighter, frustration gripping him as he eagerly chases his high, mind finally take away from his surroundings as he feels his balls tighten. She only seems to get even more excited at that, his grip on her tightening a little as he finally feels himself spill into the condom he wears, riding it out as she somehow finishes as well ontop of him.
When she leans down to kiss, he turns his head to the side however.
"Do you think you could maybe pick me up then?" You ask from across him, as he simply nods and shrugs his shoulders, reaching for his soda.
The fastfood restaurant is bustling, his hood over his head as he scarfs down whatever food you had ordered for him- shame long gone when it came to you always paying for whatever meetup you agreed to. At first, he had been a bit awkward- but by now, he feels nothing anymore, other than disgust with himself as he lives in the moment, enjoying warm fries and a soft burger. "Didn't clean my car though." He comments with a full mouth, swallowing without looking up as you shrug.
"I'm used to it." You say, and he feels his movements stutter a bit. You shouldn't be used to it, he thinks when he looks at your brown shoes- so small compared to his own worn down combat boots he always wore. "You could always let me do it. I told you I don't mind it." You tell him, and he nods. He knows. Its one of those things he feels so utterly confused about when it came to you.
He's got no shame living off of everyone's else expense, has no issue with taking every hand stretched out to him, sucking off the meat from their bones and leaving the rest for them to regrow. But he can't seem to really feel that way towards you. You manage to make him still feel a little ashamed, a bit bashful, a glimpse of frustration over his life and his decisions at this point.
He won't believe its love though.
Love exists in people's minds, but its not real. He knows its not- he's seen it in his parents, who apparently loved each other so much for so long. Probably, and then they just suddenly woke up and decided that married life wasn't for them, and a kid was too much to handle. Surely that was how love worked- it lead humans to somehow get together and reproduce, and then it would simply blow out like a candle, leaving nothing but smoke and a biting stench for a good while before all of its remnants were left cold and covered in wax.
If that was what love was, then Jungkook didn't want it.
He actually cleaned out his car a little as he picks you up from your brother's wedding.
He'd thrown out a trashbag worth of empty cans and food containers, before spaying some air freshener and at least trying to get all the crumbs out of his seats. It wasn't much, but it had given him something to do throughout the day other than staring at his walls.
You're pretty, he notices instantly; a soft pastel colored lace dress and heels, while a small necklace decorates your collarbones. He'd be stupid not to notice, really- and he would never deny the fact that he was physically definitely attracted to you. "Hey, thank you!" You say as you get into the passenger seat, waving at your relatives before Jungkook drives off, for once obeying every single traffic law he remembers. "Wow, I thought you didn't clean your car?" You said, smiling as you looked around, the seatbelt digging between your breasts a little- something he can't help but notice, though he'd never say it out loud.
"Was bored." He simply answers, wondering why you still smile even though he barely ever talks much. "Straight home?" He asks, and you nod, before verbally agreeing with him, enjoying the car ride with him. He's wearing the same sweater and pants he wore yesterday you notice, but you don't say it out loud as you try not to stare at him. You know he's probably still upset over loosing his job- so you don't want to question his behavior too much.
"I got a new laptop." You say suddenly, and he hums something akin to acknowledgment. "We could watch a new series on it, it's been a while since we've spent time together, no?" You carefully ask, and he's quiet for a moment.
He should say yes. He knows your apartment- its cozy, always warm but never too much so, your laundry always smells nice, and your home is always clean and the perfect amount of chaotic. He craves the comfort he feels there, the weightlessness he experiences whenever he sleeps in the blankets you give him, the weird sense of safety on your couch whenever he'd closed his eyes to go to sleep there.
"Gotta job hunt, sorry." He says instead.
He doesn't deserve any of that, he decides.
He's in a shower, white tiles against one of his hands, while the other is buried in dirty blonde hair.
She's good with her mouth, tongue making him feel good as she makes sure to try and take all of him in. Even though they're both in a place where they should clean themselves, she's still got her chest stained with his earlier release, her hands on his hipbones as she tries to get as much of a reaction out of him as she can.
Her place is a bit different, he'd noticed.
It's small, but also a little unwelcoming. It seems a lot darker than his apartment could ever be, even though he constantly has his black out curtains closed to not let any glimpse of the inside be seen from outside- which was ridiculous, considering he lived on the seventh floor of his building. She lived on the bottom floor, cars speeding by every now and then somewhere in front of her windows, but he can't hear them now over the constant bustling noise of the water coming from the shower head above.
She's also a bit like you, however.
He never asked her to give him a blowjob, she simply got down to her knees as she'd spotted him about to take a shower, dick still far from flaccid, apparently inviting her to please him yet again after the previous round of screwing around in her sheets. He likes the shower- its where her perfume isn't so strong that it makes his head hurt.
You never wear perfume, he remembers as he cums. You always smell gently, softly, never too over the top.
"I know what you're doing." You say over the phone, making him squirm around in his seat, glow of his phone and laptop screen the only light source in his apartment. "You're pushing me away Kook, please." You say, and he wants to argue. He wants to make you believe some sort of lie or scenario that could explain why he was so busy these days. He knows he's good at lying, at making up excuses, but he doesn't say anything in this case, stays quiet as you try and get trough him. "I promise you I won't mind any of it- I'll help you. You can even leave and let me do it by myself if you don't want to be there while-" You start, and he knows you don't mind.
He knows you'd always help him- that's the kind of person you simply were.
"No, I should help." He manages to say, before he sighs. "Wait no, I'll do it on my own, I can do it." He says, and you sigh on the other end of the line.
"I'll come over tomorrow, alright?" You say gently, and he hates how sweet and soft your voice sounds, eyes glazing up and nose stinging as he realizes he'll have to face things tomorrow already. "I'll sleep in front of your door like a dog if you don't let me in." You giggle, and he chokes up, head falling onto his table as he starts to cry. You know he does, you can hear him breathe heavily and sniffle, and it hurts you just as much.
But you know him, you know he needs help, and you want to be the one to finally manage to take his hand and lead him on a better path. You know you won't be able to help him all by yourself the whole ride along- but you can help him see, open his eyes, and maybe trust himself to another person who can help him. Maybe even get medication- the world of medicine had evolved so much by now, you knew there was a better option than letting him stay like this. "I won't let you rot away like this, Kookie." You say.
And he finally caves in on himself as he hears you hang up the call, crying freely for what feels like hours.
When he opens the door, you're in a grey sweater and simple jeans.
You have a backpack on, and he assumes you've packed cleaning supplies probably, since you knew him well enough to be aware of the fact that he possibly didn't even know the difference between laundry detergent and fabric softener.
"Hey." You say, and he chews on the inside of his cheek, before he lets you inside the dark apartment, before he switches on the lights for the first time in a year. "Hah, thank god!" You suddenly say, and his eyes widen as you put your bag down, making him cringe as he can spot an empty cup of something he didn't clean up well enough, contents grey and dry, probably staining the poor bag now. "I thought it would be way worse." You say to yourself, simply opening the bag to get out a roll of trashbags. "So- I don't know what you want to keep and what can be thrown away, except for trash obviously-" You begin, giving him a bag.
He feels useless and out of place standing there like that.
"So you can pick up with me. You said you wanted to help, after all." You say. He nods after he sees you start picking up stuff without hesitation, brows furrowing in shame as he watches your delicate hands pick up cardboard and empty food containers bare and with no gloves or other form of protection.
"You can uhm..." He starts. "Leave the food waste and like, rotten stuff to me." He says, and you shrug.
"If you want to." You say. "I don't mind it. I've had to live with my brother for two years after all- I've seen worse." You say, still smiling as you go about your way.
You were another example of love in his eyes.
Your parents had never been married in the first place, your mother a drug addict who eventually got sent to a rehab, leaving you in the care of your then barely of age brother. You had only been thirteen years old, and yet you had to somehow start to learn how to do household chores and keep up with school and everything else. Why you turned out to become a hopeless romantic and love-story lover he'd never understand.
And as you both clean up, he becomes more and more comfortable with you around, more at ease with your presence in his home. "Ugh, my back!" You laugh, standing straight before you lean back into your hands on your back, and he feels bad seeing you like that. You close up the bag you've filled, putting it close to his front door before you take a broom, squealing a bit as you touch it.
"What- you okay?" He says in alarm as you jump into his arms, the first actual close contact you both ever really had in what feels like forever. He wants to step away, feels ashamed of maybe not smelling good, not wanting to disgust you, as you simply grin with closed eyes.
"Spiderwebs, Sorry!" You say, wiping your hand off your pants. "They just spooked me, that's all." You tell him, and he smiles down at you.
You notice it immediately, printing it inside your mind to remember it for the rest of the day. That was the moment you've worked forward to- seeing him so comfortable, actually smiling even if it was just a little. But it had reached his eyes, made them crease a little at the edges like they've done in the past, when you had first met. You stare at the broom now however, like it was a battle waiting to happen.
And then there's a sound that makes both of you stop and stare for a second.
He doesn't even notice chuckling at your dramatic display against the simple spiderwebs and daddy long legs tangled in them. And then the broom falls over, making you yelp out in shock and step on the poor spider, and you suddenly both just start to laugh out loud at the pure chaos of the moment.
And as he eats with you on the floor of his now way more tidy apartment, the first meal in ages out of his tiny oven, he feels a bit lighter.
A bit better.
He's learned to eat before taking his medication.
Throwing up wasn't fun, but it was common whenever he just took his pills just to go for a smoke and call it a day. It had somehow forced him into an actual day and night cycle, remembering things such as meals and drinking actual water and not booze for once. And also, for once, he's got his phone in his hand for an entirely different reason.
Tapping around, he deletes apps and messages, cleans up his email inbox to make sure if any job interviews come in, they wouldn't just be drowned out by his other masses of unread mails. There's a message coming in on one of his dating apps, a pretty girl from his area having matched with his profile.
But as he looks at his now relatively clean apartment, little Bonsai tree on his windowsill, he simply scoffs.
And deletes the app, before locking his phone, and grabbing his car keys.
He shares lasagna from a takeout place close by on your bed, occasionally battling over a spoonful of food playfully, while watching a new webseries on your laptop. There's stickers on the device all around, making it uniquely you- warmth seeping through the blanket he's got over his legs as you occasionally giggle at whatever scene amuses you.
He feels comfortable.
"Oh look-" You say, pointing at something on the screen. "Dude's got a bonsai too. Are you still watering yours?" You wonder, looking at him as he nods, turning to you, unprepared to be so close to your face so suddenly.
"I do." He simply says, unable to look away from your lips; shimmering and a little red from either the tomato sauce of the dish you had both been eating, or maybe they were naturally like that. "I.." he starts, licking over his lips before cringing- thats stupid why did he do that, you'd never kiss him now-
But then you do, a simple peck, and its something Jungkook should be used to- but he doesn't kiss. He doesn't like kissing, its stupid and unnecessary, an act of love, and he doesn't like love. He doesn't want love. He doesn't want to love anybody, or be with anybody at all.
But he wants you- and if it meant falling in love, then maybe he could make an exception.
He presses the spacebar of your laptop, closing it, before he slides it to the bottom of the bed, food long empty as he sets the container on top of the closed device, spoons clattering in the tin container a bit, before he turns towards you, sitting like a deer caught in the headlights with your sweater paws and hood over your head. He suddenly looses all confidence in himself, realizing how different he was from you still. He looks down, tongue in his mouth moving around as he becomes self-conscious around himself again. "What is it?" You ask, and he shrugs.
He doesn't know either.
He'd never felt this way about himself when he was with other girls- he never thought of himself as anything less attractive, but as he looked at you, and your clean sheets and soft clothes and delicate skin, he feels like a stain on a white wedding dress. Out of place, disgusting to look at, something that needs to be removed. But then you reach out, carefully so, taking his hand in yours, holding one of his with both of yours. "Its okay if you don't like me like that." You say, and he shakes his head, clearing his thoughts, before he leans over you, kissing you silly, for the first time enjoying how your lips feel against his.
He feels like he's exchanging his soul for something better, as if he's giving all his trash to you to turn it all into diamonds. He feels something he hasn't in ages, or maybe ever- he feels excited, restless, he feels antsy and unable to quite decide what to do, where to touch first, if he should at all.
But he knows your sweater needs to go.
"How could I not like you like that?" He breathes against your lips. "I owe you everything." He says, and you shake your head at that.
"You owe me nothing, Jungkook." You say, and he nods, and its then that you notice it after he's helped you out of your sweater, accidentally throwing it on top of the empty food container, making it fall to the floor loudly, both of you laughing as you get spooked by the sound almost simultaneously.
He looks so much younger now.
He's grinning from ear to ear, boyishly smiling at you when you hide your bare chest from him, hands gentle as they pull yours away from your body, revealing what he's always wanted to see to his eyes. He feels as if he needs to worship you, like he needs to cherish you, love you.
Not because he owes you- but because he's finally able to.
He knows you're aware of his past endeavors, and you know he's aware of the fact that its not your first time. As he pulls the condom over his dick, his palms running over your skin, carefully feeling the softness of your chest before he takes one of your breasts into his hands thumb beginning to play with the nipple as he enters you. He feels at home, sensitivity in him fueling his noises, grunts escaping him without holding back at his pace, holding your hips with so much care.
"I love you." He presses out, breath fanning over your shoulder as he leans down, your arms moving to pull him further into you, wrapping around his neck as he feels safe for the first time in years. He feels as if your tiny body underneath him is the only thing keeping him grounded, as if you shield him from all evil- and it has nothing to do with your velvety walls clenching around him inside of you. "I fucking love you." He grits out between his teeth, hand coming down between the two of you as he rubs over your core in eagerness, bringing you to your sudden release, breathless sound from your mouth making him smile while he needs a few more thrusts to unravel in your arms.
He really feels at home in your arms.
"Jungkookie!" You say, just as he finally emerges from the changing rooms, coworkers teasingly whistling at the sight of you hugging him as a greeting. "Ready?" You ask, and he nods, waving to his coworkers behind him with a shy smile on his face.
"You seem excited." He comments, and you nod.
"I am." You say. "I can't believe we're gonna have the entire week for ourselves!" You say, holding and swaying his hand, something he cant help but watch fondly. "What would you like to do?" You ask, and he thinks for a second, before the familiar fast food sign catches his attention.
"Lets go grab a bite." He says, and you wonder why exactly that place of all things, when he suddenly leans down, pressing a kiss to your lips.
A/N: WOW hello omg it has been a long time since I posted anything on here.
I’ve been working a lot on my house, which is a fixer upper and this fic was the result of a coffee break.
I’m hoping to get a halloween fic done for a little collaboration but I’m worried it’ll either not happen or I’ll be terribly late.
Anyway, enjoy some Taehyung smut, also this is dedicated to my best friend @moonlightkook for breaking my soul with her first BTS fic ily 💕
"That's it, baby. You can do one more for me, can't you?" It wasn't a question and the way his deep voice met your ears, heavy with lust sent a shiver through you. Taehyung wanted you in pieces and you were crumbling for him.
His fingers were deep within you, hooked against the sensitive velvet spot as he stroked you with his fingertips again and again at a painfully slow speed.
A deep hum followed when you visibly jumped at the touch of his other fingers pressing against your already oversensitive clit, beginning to slowly circle around your bud.
The sensations made you squirm with impatience, the touch itself almost being too much. The man above you was pressing so much pleasure into you with just his fingers over and over until you were senseless.
Taehyung loved the way you writhed under his relentless touch, enjoying watching you arch against him as he stroked you closer, but sometimes watching you come undone for him once or twice wasn't enough and he needed more.
"Daddy-." You croaked, words lost on your tongue as you forced a breath in through your mouth, fingers grasping at the bed sheets as he quickened the pace on your sensitive bud, overworked and aching with pleasure.
"Is that too much, baby? Do you want me to stop?" He asked teasingly, but you knew that if you did ask him to stop, he would.
You shook your head vigorously, gripping the bed sheets so tight you thought you might rip a hole in them.
"Tell me with your pretty voice. Is it too much?" He questioned again, the fingers that were hooked inside you slowed and you whined, so overused that you couldn't do without his touch.
"Please, please don't stop." You near sobbed the words out, breath caught in the back of your throat and you almost heard the smirk that wound its way onto his lips, curving as he took your answer.
He listened, but Taehyung took your answer and ran with it, suddenly slamming his fingers up against you, gently pinching your clit and circling with his thumb. The sudden movements elicited a strangled gasp from you, body trembling as he gave you the feeling you craved.
Taehyung hummed in satisfaction when he felt you lean into his touch, your sensitive bud pressed into his fingers, each brush of his touch against you brought you an overwhelming strike of pleasure that was almost too much and yet, not enough.
"Don't stop, please don't stop." You whined out, closer and closer to the edge now, desperately chasing your high with ragged breaths and trembling muscles.
"Are you going to let go for me?" He asked, breath fanning heavily over your skin as he spoke.
"Please." You whined out, arching into his touch, gasping at the way his fingers filled you and stretched you perfectly, how his fingers felt as they glided over your swollen clit and delivered such an achingly heavy rush of pleasure.
"Go ahead baby, show me how good I make you feel." He grunted, watching now as his touch seemed to be intoxicating in that moment, white heat raging through you as you sunk into the mattress as much as you could, the unfiltered moan that left your lips with such force as you came hard against him, breathless, spent and so overstimulated.
"Mm, good girl." Taehyung hummed deeply. "Such a good girl." He breathed out, watching as you came down until your breathing evened and you relaxed fully against the mattress.
"One more for me, baby." He spoke softly as he leaned in, hot breath scolding against your throbbing clit.
"Too much." You mumbled, gasping and tensing as soon as he closed his lips around your clit.
"Too much? But you asked me not to stop, baby." Taehyung smirked, watching as you wriggled beneath him, knowing that this was what had happened in the last orgasm, and the orgasm before that.
He gently circled your clit with his tongue, listening to the way your breathing jumped, humming around you as you calmed, leaning into his touch.
He was right, you could do one more and god, it felt too good to ask him to stop.
"Is it okay, baby?" He asked more seriously.
"Daddy, please don't stop." You whined the words out, knowing they were the very words that had gotten you into that position in the first place but you knew exactly what you were doing when you had breathed them out so desperately.
#taehyung x reader #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x you #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x you #kim taehyung x y/n #taehyung smut #kim taehyung smut #bts smut
☆ warnings: making out, slight breast play, fingering, tongue fucking, pussy eating, bigdick!jungkook, unprotected sex (wrap it up, people)
☆ summary: just a day of you whining about how much your work sucks and then being in someone’s bed. fun fact: he’s famous but you don’t know that.
☆ a/n: so, i know i haven’t posted anything for a while (writer’s block is being a real bitch to me, for the past few weeks.) I am currently working on some fics and I have a few of these written in my drafts so here you go. These are unedited so please excuse me for this. This drabble was literally my first attempt at smut and so it kind of suck. lol. Anyways, enjoy!
"I am so tired of this every day. The stress at work is too much for me. I mean what does it take for someone to give a person, who by the way, works 17 hours a day, even overtime, a fucking break?" You yelled frustrated, hands in your head, to a stranger you met at the bar. A handsome stranger to be precise.
Jungkook looked at you, admiring your features. She isn't like the others. She didn't throw herself at me like others do, he thought. He was the international playboy or so they said. He had fucked many girls before but none of them were like you. Jungkook thought you were pretty the moment he saw you, deciding to buy you a drink. He didn’t know what he was doing in a pub when he should be in the studio but he didn’t care.
Your mascara ran down your cheeks like a straight line in a sheet from all the crying before. Apparently, your boss has made your life “a fucking piece of cow dunk”. Your words, not his. At some point, Jungkook felt like giving you all the break in the world, his heart aching a little as he listened to you complain about your boss.
"Maybe I can help you relieve your stress," Jungkook said, placing his hands on your thighs. You bit your lower lips. "One night I can let my guard down right?" you thought. One of your favorite songs came up and just like that you were not the person who was crying her heart out anymore. You poured the last shot down your throat. Leaning in "Okay, but we're dancing first '' you said, placing a kiss on his cheeks and pulling him to the dance floor. He was truly in awe.
You started swaying your hips to the beat. Jungkook was quite the dancer himself but he didn't know what to do. You pulled him close to you. Your back facing his chest. Both of your bodies pressed together, hips moving sensually to the music. Jungkook placed a hand on your hips squeezing them occasionally. His face dropped down resting on the shoulders while your hands above your head grabbed his nape.
Grinding yourself against him, you tried to create a friction. Jungkook sucked in a breath "Let's not do this here" Jungkook said, stopping you. He grabbed your hands and pulled you out of the club. Getting inside the car, you drove out of the place.
The ride was silent. You rested your head against the seat, his hands on your thighs. The soft cool wind hit your face causing your hair to flow back.
The car stopped and you got out. Your face lit up on seeing his mansion. Yes. A mansion. You didn't realize how rich he was until he saw the mansion in front of you. But you didn't care about his money. This was going to be the best night of your life. All this freedom should be worth it. "That's a beautiful house you've got there," you said while walking by his side. He let out a small chuckle. There was a comfortable silence while you walked. That was until you reached the door.
Jungkook opened the door and pulled you inside. you threw your arms around his neck while he closed the door with his legs. He smashed his lips onto yours. You jumped and wrapped your legs around his torso.
He nibbled onto your lower lip, biting it, asking for entrance as you moaned into the kiss and gladly let him slide his tongue across your lips, into your mouth. It was a sloppy and messy kiss, teeth and tongue clashing everywhere as he carried you towards his bedroom.
Throwing you onto the bed, his mouth found its way towards your neck. He swiftly glided his tongue across your collarbone and then started sucking the junction between your neck and shoulder. You moaned, hands tangling with his hair, softly tugging the ends. He continued abusing your neck and then looked up to see his masterpiece. He stared at you like you were the most beautiful art piece and he had no idea why he did that.
You grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him down for another kiss. Biting his lower lips, you licked them. A groan escaped his mouth. His hands worked their way to the back of your dress and in one swift move, your zipper opened. You got up resting on your elbows while he pulled the strap down leaving you bare in front of him. The cold air hit your hardened nipple. He latched his mouth onto your left nipple sucking and tugging it, while his other hand massaged your right breast. Breathy moans left your mouth as you arched your back, your breasts prodding further into his face.
He left the nipple with a pop sound, hands grabbing the waistbands of your lace panties, he pulled them down your legs. His hands cupped your core. "Already wet for me, baby?" He said moving his fingers along your stretches. You let out a shaky moan. He suddenly pulled two fingers inside your which caused you to grab his shoulders. You arched your back while he pumped them in and out. He added another finger and your eyes rolled back. "Taking my fingers so well" He cooed. His mouth captured your neck once again sucking onto the skin. you felt a familiar knot forming in your abdomen. "I-I am c-cuming" you stuttered, coming all over his fingers.
Jungkook took his fingers out and got on his knees. He licked your now sensitive bud which caused you to arch your back dangerously. "Oh, my g-god," you said in a high-pitched voice. He licked your cum off of your core. You tried closing your thighs out of sensitivity. He grabbed your thighs to keep them from closing. He started licking your wet slick folds, you moaned so loud that you were sure if he had neighbors, they could hear them. Your hands found their way to his hair, you bucked your hips, his face stuffing in between your legs. He pressed his tongue against your clit, hands kneading your breasts.
His tongue smoothly glided inside your slick folds as he started pushing in and out. Series of moans left as you felt his tongue inside you. You felt your climax build up rather quickly that you expected and soon enough you were coming on his face.
He got up and kissed you, letting you taste yourself. As he took of his clothes, you saw the definite bulge on his boxers. Pulling them down his cock hit his abdomen as you admired his length and thickness. His dick aligned with your entrance as it brushed the folds making you whimper from the sensitivity.
Slowly pushing himself in, he caressed you cheeks, removing the hairs which stuck to your face. You nodded as he started moving slowly, groaning to the way your walls enclosed around him. He picked up his pace, thrusting in a fast rhythmic motion.
You let out a high pitched moan which lowkey would have sounded like a scream if it was not you naked under him with his dick buried inside you. You face crunched up in pleasure as Jungkook picked up his pace, continuously hitting a spot which he assumed as your g-spot from the way you face twisted.
You held onto the sheets tight as he continued his abuse on your pussy, mind to fucked to think. You started bucking your hips, his cock hitting deeper. As you felt another orgasm coming over your started clenching around him. “I’m clo-close” you said breathlessly. He continued thrusting, moaning out loud. “Now”
That was all it took for you to come all over his cock. The feeling of getting to finally release was something you could never describe but it was close to somewhat feeling like you layed on a cloud, if that was imaginable.
Letting out loud grunts Jungkook pulled out as his came all over your stomach. Cupping your core, he pushed two fingers in trying to keep the cum from spilling out, causing your to move around trying to get out of his hold. Chuckling, he pulled himself out of you.
He made his way to the bathroom, collecting some tissue. Cleaning first you and them himself, he tossed the sheet out of the bed, it landing somewhere on the floor.
You lay there, practically limb as you let Jungkook put an over(really over)sized shirt on you. Putting on some sweatpants himself, he got inside the covers next to you. You snuggled closed to him, finally letting sleep take over you.
You groaned loudly as the sound of your phone ringing woke you up from a very comfortable sleep. You looked around to see Jungkook sleeping peacefully next to you, one hand wrapped around your waist. Smiling, you took the phone seeing missed calls and texts from your best friend, Hana.
[Yesterday, 11:35pm] Hanaaaaa: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
[Yesterday, 11:40pm] Hanaaaaa: Y/N pick up your phone.
[Yesterday, 11:41pm] Hanaaaaa: Do you have nothing better to do than to worry me? PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!!!!
[Today, 12:00am] Hanaaaaa: Atleast give me a call when you see these.
[Today, 9:33am]Hanaaaaa: So I assume you haven’t seen my texts yet. I’m gonna have to call the police if you don’t yk. So REPLY BACK!
[Today, 10:40am] Hanaaaaa: KIM Y/N! WTF? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING WITH JEON JUNGKOOK???? OF BTS???? YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS!!!
sent attachment: img.jpg
“BTS’s singer, Jeon Jungkook, spotted outside his mansion with a girl, whom we assume might just be his girlfriend. The singer is known to have a reputation to be a ladies man, and has been seen with many women before. But this might be the first time he has been spotted with a women in front of his house. He never brings girls to his home but always takes them to his penthouse. So is this a new start for the singer and possibly the mystery women?
In which you start to learn what emotions can do to your better judgment. Or alternatively:
Park Jimin makes you very confused with his actions.
Tags/warnings: Inspired by Cyberpunk 2077, Fixer Kim Seokjin, Ex Corpo Jung Hoseok, Android Taehyung, Android Reader, Android Jimin, Mentions of Prostitution, Illegal activity, drugs and drug usage, Discussion of Past Abuse, Night city, min holly, yes that is a warning, Body modifications, graphic description of violence, Blood, Murder, Ripper doc!Yoongi, Ripper Doc!Seokjin, Ex Nomad!Jungkook, Oppression, Minor Character Death, Guns, Graphic Description of Corpses, social anxiety/phobia, panic attacs, ah yes I'm back at it again aren't I, Smut, because of course, protected intercourse you know me, MTBA
You hope Yoongis informations about Jimin's whereabouts were correct.
The megabuilding Yoongi had told you he lived in seemed a little far away- but you couldn't just give his gun to anyone else, after all he'd been very clear about the fact that he gave it to you specifically. You had kept it safely on your bedside table at night, trying not to imagine it having ever been used. You're unsure still what kind of person he really was- but you simply started to catch you wishing he hopefully was a good one.
And then you spot his pink hair, his form sitting OK the ground as someone kicks after him. You don't want to get yourself involved, panic rising in your throat as you grow ashamed of the fact that all you can do was watch the scene unfold- but then, there's a gun drawn, pointed to his head, and all your strength finds his gun, as you point it at the guy who's holding his own at what you consider a friend. Jimin's eyes at first sparkle mischievously, before they meet yours, realizing who the person was shakily holding his gun. He seems almost worried about it, you think, as the stranger laughs. "Oh come on now, you're all supposed to be good for sticking dick in it, why are yall acting up these days?" The guy laughs, before he turns fully towards you- his gun still pointed at Jimin on the ground. "Fucking safety is still on I bet." He says-
And at that, your shaky hand pulls the gun's top slide back, successfully readying it for whatever you might had to do. Jimin on the ground can't take his eyes off of you in that moment; not even Yoongi had ever done something like that for him. You were basically untainted considering your second chance in life- putting that on the line for him, who you'd just met.
He couldn't help but think you looked strangely pretty, with the streetlights around reflecting off the slight rain on your skin, hands a bit shaky, but your eyes determined, no matter how shiny they were from your own panic. Growing up he's never had anyone stand up for him, always fighting his fights by himself.
To imagine that you were the one protecting him now. Fucktoys really were acting up, weren't they?
"You're not gonna shoot-" the guy chuckles, as you put your finger on the trigger, hammer of the gun moving a little.
"Try me." You say, voice strangely steady as the guy lifts up his hand and gun, not seeming to want to risk a gunshot this evening it seemed, before he kicks Jimin for good measure, leaving for good.
It's quiet for a moment between you two- the severity of it all slowly settling in as Jimin stands up- visibly uncaring of you still holding the gun, as his hands feel cool ontop of yours. "Do you need to shoot it?"He asks, genuinely wondering, but you shake your head, eyes suddenly tearing up as you let him lower the gun for you, taking it out of your hands and effortlessly unloading it, putting the safety back on before he places it into the pocket of his jeans, letting you hug him for a second.
"I almost really shot him." You mumble against his chest, and he nods.
"Was kinda hot, not gonna lie." He chuckles, trying to lift the mood. "What're you doing here anyways?" He asks, still holding you a little, before you pull away, wiping your tears in adorable embarrassment.
"Yoongi said you lived here." You point to the megabuilding close by. "I wanted to give it back to you." You say, nodding towards his gun.
"Cute." He mumbles. "Thank you then. Appreciate you taking care of it." He says with a playful wink, before he dusts his pants off, hissing a bit as he feels bruises already forming. "Let me take you home." He says, but you shake your head.
"I can find my way back Jimin, thank you." You say, but he denies determined.
"If you don't want me to take you, come up for a hot minute and wait for someone to pick you up. I'm not letting you walk across town alone like that." He says, and you nod after a moment, letting him lead you towards the elevators.
He looks a bit different from the last time you've seen him; casual shirt and ripped jeans in black, his sparkly jacket missing completely as you hold onto his shirt in that case as to not get lost. People looking at you occasionally or staring make you squeeze to his side a bit closer, until you run into his back as he stood in the elevator with you. But instead of seeming annoyed by it, he simply chuckles, before pressing the right Level on the pad, watching as you both get lifted to one of the highest levels of the building. He's strangely quiet, and you're unsure if you've done something to maybe upset him.
Inside his apartment, he closes the door behind you and traps you against the steel door with a predatory gaze. "Jimin?" You ask, as he leans down.
"Never let anyone bring you in a situation like this." He says, and you're confused for a second about the change of character in him. "I could do whatever I want not, no?" He wonders. "Wouldn't even get a slap on the wrist by NCPD for it, considering you're still a lovetoy at the end of the day." He explains, lips only a breath away from yours. "You were made for this. They don't care how people use you." He almost grits out.
"But you won't." You say, and his eyes widen as he freezes in place.
"You won't." You repeat, looking at him with no panic whatsoever. "You would've done it already if you intended to do so. You want to scare me and teach me a lesson I already know." You say, and Jimin simply laughs suddenly, playful persona returning as he rests his forehead on your shoulder for a moment before parting from you.
"Good. Want something to eat?" He asks, as he walks into his kitchen, giving you freedom to explore if you wanted to.
"I'm fine, thank you." You say, as you stand in the middle of the room, observing everything. "You're a Lovetoy as well." You say out, and Jimin's movements stutter for a second as he almost spills hot water past the noodlecup he's filling over the sink, before he composes himself and answers.
"Yup. Former, just like you." He explains, as he sets everything down, his back still facing you. "Though I don't have the luxury of a wiped memory like you." Heumbles, before he stirs the still hard little block of instant food in his cup. "Did Yoongi tell you?" He wonders, and you shrug.
"No." You say. "I came to the conclusion on my own." You say and he nods, before he turns around and oops at you.
"Smart cookie." He simply comments, before he brings the food up to his lips, starting to eat.
"Do you bring a lot of woman in here?" You ask out loud, and Jimin chokes on his food at your forwarders, laughing as he coughs.
"I- what?" He laughs, pitting his cup to the side while holding his stomach from laughter. "Jesus give a man a warning!" He chuckles, before composing himself. "Actuakly no. You're the first visitor ever since I moved in a couple of years ago." He admits, and you nod.
"I just wondered.", you said. "From what I've learned lovetoys have a hard time settling down again after quitting their former profession. But I can't relate, since I don't remember having sex." You say, though your voice falters a bit at the end.
"Hm, not actively, but the memories are still in your bones baby." He hums out as he watches your body language.
"Jungkook has put a lot of effort into me." You suddenly say, looking out the window. "Yesterday he walked out of the shower with only a towel covering him and my thoughts became very much inappropriate. I feel bad about it." You say. "I shouldn't think of him like that." You say, and Jimin shrugs.
"Can't really blame you, he's a looker." He comments. "But if it's only sex you're craving, I'm sure something can be arranged." He says, and you shake your head.
"I don't want to contribute to the same industry me and you came from."You say.
"I know." He says. "I meant me." He says, and your eyes widen as you look at him still leaning against his kitchen counter.
"But you just said-" You start, and he lifts his shoulders before letting them fall back down, face unreadable.
"And I was honest. For me, sex doesn't have meaning anymore. It's an activity, nothing else." He says, and you seem confused.
"Jungkook however said it should be done between people who are strongly emotionally connected, like love." You say, and jimin laughs.
"Yeah, that sounds like him." He says. "He's always had a little utopian thoughts on the world."
"I like the idea of that though." You say, as you sit down on his sofa, making him walk over to you as he sits down next to you.
"I know." He simply answers, and you can see something swim in his eyes that you can't quite place. It looked like he was sorry for you- and you didn't like that look on him. "How about you fall in love with him then?" He asks, and your eyes widen.
"Well, how do you do that?" You ask. "I don't know how to fall in love, I don't even know how to tell if I like someone like that."
"Well," He starts, "that's easy. Look at me for example." He says confidently, turning towards you. "What do you feel when you look at me?" He asks, trying to help you understand the difference between someone you know and someone you like and could possibly fall in love with.
You answers however, catch him genuinely off guard. "Warm. Comfortable." You say. "A bit nervous, but not in a bad way. My pulse is a bit quicker when you're close." You say, about about on as he suddenly gets up, and you don't know if you've made him uncomfortable with what you've said. But he asked?
"Lets call Yoongi so someone picks you up. It's getting late." He simply says, grabbing his phone in the kitchen, and leaving you confused on his couch.
GENRE. sister's best friend!au, best friend to lovers!au, frenemies2lovers!au, angst, *slow burn*, eventual smut, eventual fuff
WARNINGS. angst, explosive fights, lots of crying, new revelations that break hearts, implications of poor mental health
back-burner masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter
You couldn’t keep your promises, you realised as you take a brief glance at your wall clock. It’s nearly two a.m. and your eyes are strained with the number of hours you spent in front of your laptop screen. But you suppose that what Jungkook and Yoongi don’t know, won’t hurt them. You were feeling fine, a little drowsy—but more accomplished than anything as you stare at the final draft of the proposal stare back at you when you stare down.
It’s a little rougher than you’d like, but you’d take it. It was months of hard work and persevering, even dealing with overly compassionate friends who wanted you to take a break, so you were relieved that the bulk of it was done. You could think about editing it tomorrow.
You stretch your limbs, craning your neck as you wince at the loud pop it makes. Your cup is empty, and your dining table is strewn with documents and papers like you were back in university. The visual almost makes you smile, the fond memories of pulling all-nighters for assignments and essays returning to your mind.
Then you remember how much you hated what you were studying, and how philosophy was never your thing—but Haerin’s.
You shake your head, standing up and closing your laptop as you approach the kitchen.
But your relatively quiet night (morning), gets disrupted with a rapt knock on your door.
Now, you freeze.
You rarely ever had visitors, and even if you did—they came over at socially acceptable hours, not at demon time. You think the worst for a split second, prepared to grab a knife to defend yourself in case the person behind your door decides that they were too impatient to wait for your greeting and break it down instead.
But you were tired, and lest you don’t necessarily make the best decisions when you were drowsy, so you head to your door, weaponless as you decide to take the risk by piquing your curiousity and opening your door.
Your guest surprises you more than an intruder.
“Hi,” she says meekly. She’s dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, more unkempt than you’ve seen her in a long while. “Can I come in?”
You falter, eyes blinking as she nervously rocks on her heel. Only when your eyes refocus onto the figure before you, which was your sister, do you step aside to allow her entry to your apartment.
“Sure, I mean …” you gesture her in as she mumbles a soft thank you under her breath. You’re sleep-deprived and confused. “Is everything all right?”
“I had nowhere else to go,” she murmurs, plopping onto your couch as you shut the door behind you.
You weren’t sure if you were hallucinating because of sleep deprivation, but you were still extremely confused. The tone which Haerin takes is one you’ve never heard her adopt before, making you even more perplexed and worried, especially when she pointedly ignores your question for her vague responses.
“Are you okay? Do you need me to call someone—?”
Haerin looks up, and you’re alarmed to see her red-rimmed eyes and sunken dark circles. “Did you know I was scrolling through my contacts and I realised I had no one to call? No one that I could reach out to?”
“Haerin, you’re scaring me,” you say with a frown as you take a seat next to her. Her eyes are … empty, and it terrifies you because Haerin’s always smiling. She was the bubbly sibling, the one that lifted moods with her presence. The person before you is a reflection of the person you thought you were. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
You repeat your question because she doesn’t seem to be responding to it, but Haerin’s eyes drop to her lap as she fiddles with her thumbs.
“I’m sorry. I just—I had no one else I knew that I could go to and you were—”
“Haerin,” you say curtly.
Her face darts up, and her eyes are wide. She looks so vulnerable that your heart aches for her. If anyone were to see the two of you, it’d look like she was the younger sister and not you, especially with the way she hunches herself into a shell you never thought she had.
“What happened?” you ask softly.
The tears in her eyes are what alarms you even further.
“We broke up.”
You take a second, no two; to process her words, and the way that her lip begins to wobble after the words have settled into the air. Your brain attempts to rationalise her statement, recalling the context of her words as your mouth falls open.
They broke up.
“Oh my God,” you say breathlessly, and you have no idea what to think or say. You wanted to be selfish but Haerin looked distraught, and you couldn’t be that person. Not when she was here, vulnerable and open. “Are you okay?”
You repeat your question, again, because you had no idea what to say or do.
Her reaction slightly frightens you, but you keep your composure.
“We broke up,” she repeats with a tight laugh as all you can do is stare at her. “Were we even together?”
“Haerin …” you say quietly, reaching out to grab her hand in a manner that was so uncharacteristic for the both of you that she seems to jump at the contact. But the lifelessness in her eyes only causes you to encase her smaller palms with your own. “I know it must hurt—”
“Is this what I’m feeling?” she asks, “I don’t know how I feel and I’m so—I’m so scared.”
She sounds so distant, and you can’t imagine the thoughts or feelings that run through her mind. You’re too preoccupied with the fact that Haerin is in front of you, confiding you when your dynamics were never like that.
So, you bring her into your arms, the only way you know how to for the time being. It felt awkward and slightly stiff when her chin meets your shoulder, but you pat her back softly in an attempt to comfort her in a way you know your words can’t.
“I thought …” she says shakily, “I thought it was the right choice. That we were going to work out. I mean, we were friends basically our entire teenage to adult life. And … it just—”
She pulls away, eyes wide when she looks at you as if you had answers.
“Why didn’t it work out?”
You say the first thing that comes to your mind.
“Sometimes, it’s easy to conflate platonic love and romantic love.”
Her eyes drop to her lap once more as you squeeze her shoulders.
“Did I?” she asks quietly.
Haerin looks up, and she looks visibly deflated as if she had failed herself. You wonder if this was her first failure, in life. One that didn’t necessarily constitute her intellect, but represented her emotional connections with people that weren’t theoretical studies in the philosophy books she loves.
“Did I get it confused?”
“I don’t know,” you reply honestly. Then, feeling like a horrible confidant, you continue, “I’m sorry.”
She laughs softly, shaking her head. “You don’t need to apologise. I just—I don’t know. I don’t know how to feel.”
“There isn’t a proper feeling you need to feel,” you say. “How do you feel?”
Haerin blinks, taking in the weight of your words as you return her gaze. The silence is suffocating, maybe only for you. You never did well in extended periods of silence because your thoughts ran wild. It allowed things to happen even if they didn’t, and your rationality to turn into irrationality. Silence was dangerous for people like you, while it allowed people like Haerin to bloom.
“I broke up with him.”
This makes you still.
“You must think your older sister is crazy, right?” she laughs, falling back into the couch as you stutter in your movements to take in her expression. Her eyes gaze up to the ceiling as she sighs. “I come to your apartment at midnight in tears about my breakup and I was the one that initiated it?”
You find your tongue after a while, shaking your head before you’re shifting closer. “No, I mean … I’m confused but your feelings are still valid. It takes a lot of courage to walk away.”
You mean it. You really do. You know that better than anyone else, yet you never found yourself practising that knowledge.
You were the coward for staying to hurt yourself because of familiarity.
She scoffs. “It sure doesn’t feel that way.”
“Can I …” you swallow, “Can I ask why—?”
“I’m a coward,” she tells you so vehemently that you nearly get whiplash. “I’m a coward, ____. I’m a coward because I walked into something fully knowing it wasn’t my place to arrive at.”
“Haerin, hold on,” you say with furrowed brows, “What do you mean?”
“Do you want to know why we broke up?” she asks softly.
“I-I mean only if you’re ready—”
“Imagine being with someone you’ve known for most of your life, thinking that he should’ve been the one only to realise that perfect utopia was an imagination crafted by your own delusions,” she says quietly.
Your breath hitches.
“Imagine being so scared of being alone that you jumped into a relationship with someone who’s familiar to you. Just because it seemed right.”
You can’t bring yourself to respond because Haerin sounds so—tired. Her words ring louder despite her tone being soft, and you can’t draw your eyes away from her. She looks so different like this, and you wonder if she’s ever allowed herself to be vulnerable—to be a step lower than perfection.
“You know he’d never hold my hand?” Haerin says.
Like thunder, your memory cracks back to the day at the fair. The words you heard leave Haerin’s mouth in a manner that was unlike her at all. Similar to the woman in front of you, she was frustrated, borderline frantic, but she was Haerin. The Haerin that always had her head up high, back straight and face preened to perfection.
“I thought it was just because the transition must’ve been awkward and all,” she chuckles humourlessly. “Going from a best friend to a lover. It’s weird, I get that.”
Your heart unconsciously clenches at what she referred to him as, but you purse your lips and tell yourself to not be selfish—that this wasn’t about you.
“But he’d never touch me,” she whispers, “He’d never look at me differently. Just the same way he always has.”
“That’s because he’s always loved you—” you begin to say, spewing the truth that you’ve told yourself to be true from the very first day you saw him in your home.
“—Does he?” she spits, as your eyes widen, “Do you stiffen up when the person you love tries to hold your hand? Tries to hug you?”
“Haerin …” you say slowly.
“No,” she snaps, and you see her slowly losing it. She laughs, nearly tugging at her hair as you flounder in an attempt to reason with her. “You don’t do that if you love someone, ____. You know what you do?”
“I …” you choke.
“You drive at godspeed to a place even if it’s ass o’clock to make sure that they’re safe,” she says, and you freeze. Your body locks up and you can’t say anything. You’re stunned to absolute silence but Haerin isn’t. “You buy them their favourite treats because you were thinking of them.”
You don’t know why, but your throat is dry, and Haerin looks—menacing. Her eyes are wide and frantic, and you unconsciously lean back into your sofa when she inches forward.
“You look at them like they’re the only thing you ever see,” she whispers harshly, and her forehead drops to your shoulder as you exhale shakily, her fingers are digging almost painfully into your bicep while you hold your breath. “You do all of that when you’re in love with someone.”
“H-Haerin, you need—”
“I tried to kiss him and he pushed me away,” she croaks, and there are tears in her eyes. You hear the shatter of her heart instead of seeing it. “Do you push the person you love away, ____?”
Unintentionally, you think.
“And the worst part,” she says vehemently, “Is that I don’t even love him.”
Your chest constricts, and the atmosphere is heavy. Haerin is breathing heavily, chest heaving as you can only stare at her. Your mind is running at a hundred miles per hour, endlessly trying to make sense of her words—to understand why they felt so familiar and to understand why you were so intent on denying them to her face.
There was something about her confession that makes you breathless. Dizzy. She didn’t love him. She broke up with him. Why? It didn’t make sense. Nothing about this made sense—they were supposed to stay together. They were supposed to be endgame. He chose her. So why—?
“Yoongi and I were never meant to be together,” she says, laughing softly. “I’m not heartbroken,” she tells you. “I’m hurt.”
You have nothing to say, too stunned to silence.
“I’m hurt because I thought I needed to be with someone to fill this loneliness in my heart.” You hear her cry, loud and unobstructed when she basically falls into your arms. Haerin doesn’t keep her facade up, and the tears keep flowing like her dam was broken.
You don’t know why but tears well up in your eyes too, and you try to blink them away mostly in confusion but the first tear falls and you wonder how long has it been.
How long has it been since Haerin felt this way?
Since you’ve resented her for doing everything right when it seemed like she was falling apart right in front of your very eyes?
Haerin sobs uncontrollably, blubbers nonsense into your shirt while holding onto you like a child. She’s vulnerable and feral right now, uncaring of whether or not her sobs are louder than the clamour in your chest—or the thoughts that run through your mind. No, she’s uninhibited when she clings onto you like she never wants you to let go.
You won’t. Despite the hole in your chest that’s aching for answers, you don’t push Haerin away.
Because this is the first time she’s felt like a sister.
“I’m so lonely,” she whispers, “I thought—I thought being with Yoongi would fix me …”
“You don’t need to be fixed, Haerin,” you tell her honestly through your own shaky voice.
“Yoongi’s my best friend, ____,” she whimpers, “H-How could I do this to him? Be so selfish?”
“People make mistakes and that’s okay,” you say softly, wiping under her eyes to remove the flow of tears that escapes. “Yoongi would never hold this against you.”
“B-But I got in the way of what makes him happy,” she wails, clutching you harder.
“You didn’t—” you attempt to say, but she shakes her head frantically, eyes darting up so that you’d look at her desperate gaze. As if to tell you that you didn’t know what she was saying—what you were implying with the words that were better left unsaid.
“It’s because I see the way he loves and I wished it was me,” she croaks, “Not because I love him but because I’m selfish.”
“It’s not selfish to want to be loved,” you whisper.
“But it’s selfish to want that for me when it was never mine, to begin with,” she whimpers.
You don’t know what to say. You don’t understand the implications of Haerin’s words, and you think she’s blubbering nonsense in her hazy state. For a moment, you pity her. The weight of the world expecting her to be perfect all the time finally crumbling down her facade—and you wonder if the two of you shared more in common than you thought.
“You’re human, Haerin. You make mistakes, you may end up hurting people, and that’s okay. You can’t control the aftershocks of your actions,” you say softly. “No one’s going to hold being human against you. You’re going to do things right and you’re going to do things wrong. But never blame yourself for wanting to make yourself happy.”
“You know,” she suddenly chokes, “I really wanted to be close with you.”
Your heart seizes.
“I really wanted to be your older sister,” she confesses and you feel your eyes well up with tears. “I wanted to be someone you could confide in, to talk to whenever you were stressed. I wanted us to have sister fights and make up in twenty seconds. I always thought you were amazing. Just being who you were—I wanted to be your sister so badly.”
“But I was so caught up in the world that mom and dad threw me in that …” she sniffs, “That I prioritised myself and neglected you.”
“—I let mom and dad treat you the way they do even if I knew you didn’t deserve that,” she rambles on, unfiltered and loose-lipped. “I let them celebrate me when you were all alone.”
Your lips wobble as you tilt your head up to stop your tears.
“I had the world and you only had yourself.”
“I had Jungkook,” you say weakly through a smile. It was the truth. Things were tough—but you weren’t really alone, were you? “And Hobi. And Loli,” you tell her before cupping her cheek. “But now I have you too, right?”
Her lips wobble as her face crumbles.
“You have me,” she whispers, “And you have Yoongi, too.”
You smile sadly. “Yeah.”
“I mean it,” she exclaims, eyes wide, begging you to believe her with her body language. “You and Yoongi—you have each other.”
Do you? Have him? It seems like things were settling, and a selfish—human—part of you is relieved that Haerin and Yoongi were no longer together. Even if she claimed that they were never together in that way.
But if he chose her even for those moments, who were you in the grand scheme of things?
“I know,” you say, and it’s a ruse to convince yourself too.
“I’m serious,” she says manically, sitting up so abruptly that you fall back onto your elbows. Your eyes remain wide but your heart is beating rapidly against your chest. Her face is exasperated. Desperate. As if there were words too heavy that lay on her tongue, ready to propel forward like ripples of water. “You—he—you know? Right? You must know!”
“Yoongi doesn’t love me,” she whimpers, and you feel the sadness in her voice. Though it’s not quite heartbreak, it’s very close. It’s the sound of a lonely woman trying to navigate the world that thinks the best of her. A lonely woman on a path crafted by others while others watched. “He loves—“
“He loves you, Haerin,” you say quietly, squeezing her hands. “He loves you. Can’t you see?”
You don’t know who you’re trying to convince. Her, or yourself—even if your heart crumbles at the very thought of Yoongi being so in love with her.
“He doesn’t! Not in that way!” she roars, pushing you back as your eyes blow even wider. She’s practically on top of you, pinning you down with her tiny hands while you grab her forearms in alarm.
“He doesn’t love me! He doesn’t,” she hisses, shaking her head, “He—”
“Haerin, stop,” you say shakily, “You don’t know what you’re saying—”
“I’ve been expected to know a lot of things in life, ____ and I never actually did. But this is something I know with my entire heart and soul,” she chuckles humourlessly.
When her eyes drop to your own, her grip loosening before she practically falls on you as if she lost the fight to keep her upright, metaphorically and literally.
Her mouth opens, and her next words make your ears ring.
“He doesn’t love me because he loves you.”
There’s silence. It’s raining now. A thunderstorm in the middle of the night and you almost want to laugh at how perfect the timing was. The lighting of your living room is dim, with the shadow of Haerin’s fatigue apparent on her face when her eyes blaze towards you. She’s breathing heavily, panting with exertion as if she ran a marathon.
But it’s deathly silent on your head. There’s no breathing. There’s no movement. There’s nothing to indicate that you’ve heard what she said. But when you register her words, and the magnitude of them—
You shove her off you, her body falling onto the plush surface next to the both of you.
“Don’t lie!” you shout, “Fuck you, Haerin!”
“Why would I lie to you!” she exasperates desperately, trying to grab your hand when you pull away from her, mind reeling at the remnants of her words.
“Why would he—why would you—? He—” you stammer, eyes rapidly blinking when you feel the tears win the flightless game as it runs down your face.
“Yoongi loves you,” she whispers vehemently, her swollen eyes glaring at you when she manages to pin you down again.
It’s almost comical. How the two of you were in tears, tired, in your apartment, fighting each other in a way that’s never happened before. Interacting with each other in a way that you could only hypothesise. You’ve never gotten mad at Haerin, and neither has she. It was because while the two of you shared the same blood, you were distant throughout your entire life.
This—your panting breaths, manic eyes, and desperation—was the closest you’ve ever been.
“He chose you!” you scream, “How could he love me when he chose you? He always chose you! He never chose—!”
“Then you’re stupid!” she screams back, equally as loud. You wonder if your neighbours were going to report you to management for a noise complaint but you couldn’t care less. “You’re stupid and you’re dumb and I hate you! I hate you because you can’t see anything that’s in front of you!”
“I hate you because you have everything I’ve ever wanted and you don’t see it! You don’t see how much I want to live like you! To be close to you! Why can’t you see?” she cries.
You shove at her, her eyes widening before you’re clambering on top of her with your hands on her shoulders as you use all the force you have to keep her in place.
“I’m stupid? You’re stupid!” you seethe, “You’re stupid because you have everything you could ever want and mom and dad’s validation and you think Yoongi doesn’t love you? You think I’ve got everything you want? Try being me and see how fucking shitty it is.”
“You think that matters to me? You think any of that matters to me when I’m so fucking lonely?” she sobs, trying to fight your grasp off. “You’re so fucking dumb! Yoongi never chose me! Never! If you looked close enough then you’d see!”
“See? All I saw was how he treated you,” you hiss venomously, “How he looked at you like you were his world—that he would do anything for you—!”
“Shut the fuck up!” she screeches, whining in frustration while she thrashes in your hold. “Yoongi’s so in love with you and you refuse to see it. You did this! You did this!”
“Did what?” you scream.
“This!” she wails, and you don’t even fucking know what was going on anymore when she finally kicks you off of her, as your butt lands on the floor.
She’s towering over you now. Her cheeks are blotchy and red, and so are yours. You didn’t realise how hard you were crying until the brief silence forces you to acknowledge it. To acknowledge the way your heart feels both heavy and lighter at the same time. The way Haerin is catching her breath. The way you balance yourself on your elbows.
The way how fucking stupid this all is.
“I know you love him, too,” she says softly, after too long of a silence.
Your breath hitches as your eyes dart to the ceiling.
“Fuck you,” you whisper.
“He loves you and you love him,” she hisses, “You’re so stupid.”
“He doesn’t love me, Haerin,” you seethe, tired when your eyes flutter shut. “If he did then he would’ve chosen me.”
“He chooses you. Every single day,” she sobs, “When you were stuck at that bar. When you were sick at the fair. When you needed someone to teach you how to drive. When you just wanted to hang out. When you call. If it’s you—he’ll always make that choice. Why do you refuse to see what’s right in front of you?”
“Then why did he …” you whisper.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” Haerin sobs, and she falls. She falls on top of you with her arms wrapped around your shoulder as you fall back to the ground, allowing her body to crush you. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry—”
“Stop fucking apologising,” you grit.
“I never should’ve brought it up—I never should’ve asked him if we should give it a shot. I should’ve never—”
“And what good will that do to us now?” you snap, “Huh? Tell me. Tell me what fucking good will apologising to do us now?”
“I don’t know!” she wails. Her eyes are so fucking swollen that it’s almost painful to look at. There’s not running down her nose and she’s unobstructed when she attempts to blubber her next set of words. “I don’t know anything anymore except for the fact that I’m so fucking lonely and I’m so fucking confused and nothing about this makes sense—”
“Nothing about this makes sense,” you repeat, eyes blinking slowly.
“Yoongi loves you,” she says defeatedly.
And somehow that makes you feel worst. Because he loves you and chose her. He loved you not enough to pick you, to try, but to want to forget. To remove the feeling of love he allegedly has for whatever fucking reason.
And it hurts. It burns. It consumes you whole.
You feel like your heart is about to give out. There’s nothing stopping you from curling into a fetal position and crying until the week ends but the fact that your sister is sobbing her eyes out in front of you. You don’t understand. You didn’t expect the night to end this way.
You didn’t expect anything.
Yoongi still chose Haerin.
He never chose you.
“Please,” she croaks, forcing her swollen eyes to peer up at you while you feel everything in you crumble. All the moments you tried to pretend that seeing Haerin and Yoongi together didn’t crush you. As friends and as more. The moments that you had to hear your parents coo over something Haerin did while silence overtook you. It all came rushing back in. And it hurts. You’re no longer numb. Now all you could do was feel and it fucking sucked.
“You don’t do this to someone you love, Haerin,” you say shakily.
She grabs your shoulders desperately, expression falling into one of anguish.
“I know he loves you. I know,” she cries, “He—it’s my fault—it’s all my fault—”
“Stop blaming yourself,” you rasp.
“You love each other,” Haerin sobs. And you really wished you could tell her to shut the fuck up. Not because you hated her. You don’t think you ever did. You don’t think you ever could. But it was hard to think. It was hard to breathe.
You don’t do this to someone you love.
You don’t want to say anything but you see her eyes droop, indicating her fatigue.
“You and Yoongi,” she mumbles, “I’ll make sure of it.”
You sigh, coming back to reality.
“Get up,” you snap.
She remains put.
“Haerin,” you scowl, “Get the fuck up.”
“No,” she huffs, “Not until you believe me.”
Your eyebrows tick in annoyance. “It’s late and I’m exhausted and everything fucking sucks right now so please—for the love of God just get up and we can talk about this tomorrow.”
“Why won’t you believe me?” she whines.
That was it.
“Because he doesn’t love me, Haerin!” you scream, yanking her up until she was eye-level with you as her eyes widened. “Because it doesn’t make any fucking sense! Because Yoongi can never love me! Because he’s meant to be with you! Because mom and dad think so too! Because of this—this fucked up situation that we’re in and how this is the only time I’ve ever felt close enough to tell you this!”
Haerin sobs, crumbling in your hold even as she tries to keep herself upright. You’re crying now, too. Loud, unobstructed. Ugly.
Maybe you were really sisters.
“You’re lonely and I get that,” you whisper. “But you don’t know how it feels like to be me. To be the other sister. The other person. To have to fight for every place in my life because there wasn’t enough space for the two of us. You don’t fucking know any of that. You want to be me? God—I wish you could. I wish you’d try living in this body and this life to see things the way I do. Then you’d know—know how fucking shitty it is being the other.”
Haerin stays silent because she can’t say anything. You don’t expect her to. You wouldn’t know what to say either. You were word-vomiting; the words that have been locked and compartmentalised in a part of your brain you never thought you’d unlock in front of anyone—especially Haerin.
"You have no idea what it's like to fight for my place in mom and dad's life when I shouldn't have to. You have no fucking idea how it feels like to never be able to amount to anything—just because my older sister is a damn prodigy. You have no idea. So yes. You're lonely—that's sad. But you never had to wonder why the fuck you weren't enough to be loved by your own damned parents."
"Mom and dad are assholes," she says weakly.
"But they're my parents," you hiss as your eyes flutter shut. "They're assholes but I want them to fucking see me. I just want to be fucking seen and—and this—all of this—doesn't make any sense. You being here. You breaking up with him. You claiming he doesn't love you. All of it! Nothing—”
“You’re free,” she interrupts you in a tiny voice. “You want validation but you’re free from it. You don’t need validation.”
“Don’t tell me what the fuck I need or don’t,” you hiss.
“And don’t tell me that you’d rather be controlled for the rest of your life!” she roars loudly, the tiny voice reaching decibels that shook your core. “That you don’t love this freedom—as fucking shitty as it is—more than the reigns that mom and dad would have on you.”
“You think I’m free?” you laugh bitterly, “You think this is freedom? Being trapped in my own thoughts? Unconsciously comparing myself to you every single fucking day of my life because that’s all I’ve been conditioned to do? You think freedom matters when I’ve lost to you in every single aspect?”
“This isn’t a competition!” You hear Haerin exasperate, tugging at her hair in frustration when her eyes blaze at you. “Why—no one wants you to compare yourself to me!”
“No one wants to but they do,” you sneer venomously, “Oh they fucking do Haerin. And I do too. And it sucks. Because when I’m safe from them I’m not safe from me.”
“This shouldn’t be a competition but it is,” you say despairingly, “I hate that it is but it is. And as fucked up as it sounds you and I both know that you and I were destined to compete with each other because we’re sisters.”
“You think I’ve won this shitty competition but I feel like the biggest fucking loser,” she laughs in a self-deprecating tone, “Mom and dad only love me because of what I’ve done. Not because—not because they do.”
“At least they love you, Haerin,” you say quietly, “At least you’re loved. By them. By people—by Yoongi—”
“When will you get it through your fucking head that Yoongi doesn’t love me? Not in that way!” Haerin snaps, “We’ve been best friends for years and you think I don’t know how he looks like when he’s in love or not?”
You take a deep, shaky breath to regain balance before you're letting out an exhale.
“Yoongi doesn’t love me. He can’t. I’m—” you choke, eyes fluttering shut in defeat. “I’m unloveable—”
“Don’t you dare say that,” she hisses venomously, cupping your cheeks in her hand as you flounder back as you lose your balance. “Don’t you fucking say that.”
“You’ve always been loved!” you sob, tears soaking her fingers as she tries her best to not let new tears flow.
“And that doesn’t fucking matter but don’t you for a second think that you’re unloveable,” she snaps, “You’re not unloveable. No one is unloveable in this damned world and if there was someone it sure as fuck wouldn’t be you.”
“I love you!” she screams, “I love you! I love you as your sister! As your friend! As your family!”
“You don’t fucking love me!” you scream back at her, and you’re sure your neighbours were wondering what the fuck was going on.
“Just fucking believe me! Please,” she begs, shaking you desperately as you shake your head in return. “I love you!”
“You can’t love me!” you cry, and it’s so fucking loud. It’s loud and annoying. And it still hurts. It hurts so fucking much that all you can do is cry. "Yoongi can't love me!"
“I can and I will and I do,” she whispers, “I know I’ve been a shitty sister but I’ve never not loved you."
She's forcing herself to look at you and you're forcing yourself to try. Your breathing mixes together, shaky, confused, tired.
"And Yoongi loves you no matter how much you want to deny it because no one does the things he does for you if they weren't in love."
You cry. You break down. You were crying but now you’re crying harder. There was no flow or structure to the screaming fest you just had. But did pain ever have a linear sequence? It didn’t make sense to have your sorrows be chronological.
This was pain. Years of hurt. It’s ugly and truthful, and it does not hide from the strongest. In fact, it comes at you full force. Knocking the wind out of you while you try to catch your breath in a race you were bound to lose.
Haerin holds you. You don’t know when she’s wrapped her arms around you but they’re suddenly there. The both of you are sobbing like little bitches and it’s kind of funny. But you can’t think of the finer details when she squeezes you so tightly that you can’t breathe.
Is this what having a sister feels like?
The calm after the storm is an illusion. You know this. But you’ll take it, for now.
“It’s not Yoongi’s fault,” Haerin says softly.
Your eyes are shut.
“It’s not your fault either.”
You clench your teeth.
“And it’s not your fault either,” you interject softly.
Haerin opens her mouth to say something but closes it when she realises you didn’t have the strength to continue.
“We’re fucked up humans aren’t we?” she chuckles humourlessly.
“Isn’t that just being human?”
You look up, and you’re so tired.
Haerin blinks. A smile twitches on your face for some fucked up reason.
And the both of you laugh. You laugh so hard that you’re crying again. You’re cackling, and you hear a series of bangs against your wall that you laugh even harder. You somehow ended up on the floor, staring at the ceiling while you laughed like maniacs at nothing and everything and the in-between.
“I’m sorry,” she says.
“Me too,” you reply. “For screaming at you.”
“I’m sorry for calling you stupid.”
“Did we just have our first sister fight?”
You purse your lips. You turn around to see her sitting up, your night light dimly illuminating her face.
“I guess we did,” you say.
"I wished it was about something different," she says quietly.
She looks up and there's a tilted smile on her face. Her eyes are hilariously swollen that you can't help but let out a snort through your blocked nose. Haerin almost rolls her eyes, but instead, she reaches out—she holds your hand.
And you hold hers.
“Please talk to him."
You stay silent.
“____,” she calls your name gently. Like she cares about you. It’s a tone you’d adopt with a child, a younger sibling when you were a child. It almost feels as if she was trying to speak to you as an older sister, and not just Haerin. “I don’t want you and Yoongi to be on weird terms.”
“We’re not,” you say quietly.
“But you’re thinking. Hard. And not in the good way,” she points out as you sigh, “Don’t blame him.”
Did you? Blame Yoongi? Or did you blame yourself for being this way? For feeling the way you did?
Even if Yoongi seemed like the perfect person to hate, to blame, to back into a corner and scream at him like you did to Haerin—you knew that wasn’t the truth.
Yoongi had always been himself. And despite his fleeting relationship with your sister, he’d never treated you differently. He’d been there for you in moments of true weakness.
It was you who pushed him away from him all this while.
Did you do this to someone you loved?
“Talk to him,” she encourages again, gentler. “He loves you, ____. He’d never push you away.”
Your throat hurts but you still want to scream.
He loves me but not enough to try? To ask? To hope?
"And ..." she says slowly, as if contemplating her words. "I'd never push you away. Anymore. Never. Not again."
"Okay," you say quietly.
"And you can talk to me. Because—because we're sisters, right? We're sisters aren't we?"
For the first time, in a long time, from when you knew what sisters were and were meant to be—you can agree.
"Yeah," you laugh quietly, "We are, Haerin. We are sisters."
She gives you a gentle smile, and it returns to relative silence. There are still so many things to say even after all that you've screamed. But you guess that's always going to be the case. Not everything will always be said, and that's okay. You'll grow, you'll have more things to say, to be hurt about, to be annoyed about, to laugh about—and that's only natural.
"Talk to him, ____," Haerin says through a soft mumble. "The two of you deserve to be happy."
You purse your lips.
“If you can’t believe me,” she murmurs. Then she looks up, and it’s the most earnest you’ve seen her all night when she says:
Umm hi! it's been two years since I have been on this page, and I wanted to let you guys know a few things:
1. I graduated high school and am soon to be a college freshman.
2. I WILL be changing the name of this account soon!
3. I am going to be posting on this page once again!
4. there is a new theme for this page, and it is inspired by Netflix!
But yes, I am thankful for those who are still reading the stuff I had put up, but I'm going to be taking those down WAIT; I will be rewriting them to add a little more flare to it and spice up some things. Not only that, but to save my sanity, I'm not gonna take it down just yet, just until I have finished writing it and adding the new theme to it, but they will be here.
but thanks to those who left comments or hearts on the post! I can't give you guys a specific date when the new stuff and theme will launch, but just know it will be happening soon! Pls, be patient with me.
feel free to interact with me here:
from ur lazy writer
ps. all gifs you will see soon were made by me like the one above!
You felt that familiar build within you, and looked down to see Hoseok's eyes sparkling playfully from between your legs. He knew you were close, and kept on working at getting you there. His fingers continued to rub at just the right spot within you, while his tongue wriggled blissfully over your clit. The tension mounted, brought you closer and closer to that edge, and your legs tensed instinctively, but then just like that instead of going over, you tumbled back down the way you came. He completely pulled away and your eyes flew open; he brought his lips to yours, mischievously smiling all the while. You could taste yourself on his tongue, and that just made you crazier. You whined against his lips so he pulled away, the little twinkle still in his gaze.
"What's wrong?" He teased.
"You know." The pout on your face made him laugh out loud.
"Aw but it'll be so much sweeter if you wait, you know."
➬ Pairings | Kim Taehyung x reader (feat. Seokjin & female original character)
➬ Genre | Childhood/Best Friends!AU, Angst
➬ Summary | Growing up together, you had always thought that he would always be a part of your life forever, until he suddenly chose a different path, leaving you altogether in the shadows of your past. What happens when you finally decide to move on, to walk down your new path in life without him, while completely unaware of how it had been him who had been standing in the shadows, drowning in his own little secrets?
➥ Ratings & Warnings | PG-13
➥ Word count | 4,5k words
➥ Author’s Note | And it happens again...after a long process of finishing this series, I’ve decided to split the final chapter (before the epilogue) into not two, but three chapters :))) I’m sorry for the wait. I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of Taehyung and OC’s journey. Hold on, this is going to be a ride!
➥ ⤎ Previous Chapter | Chapter List | Next Chapter ⇢
chapter viii. healing
It was hard to put into words the emotions that you felt or the thoughts that came through your head after the tumultuous night where Taehyung finally exposed the truth that he had kept to himself.
There was grief over everything that you had lost—including all the lost time, your old friendship, and the bond that had long been broken. There was anger and despair over the treachery, the manipulation that was done to both of you, and the way people simply used you and Taehyung as pawns in their wicked games.
But among all of those conflicted feelings, there was also a feeling of relief that came over you the moment you had time to let everything sink in. Relief from knowing that there were no more secrets hidden between you. Relief for knowing that there was still a piece of thread in your bond left, even though small, and it was showing you that the possibility to mend what had been broken still existed and it gave you a new reason to hope.
But to say that you were able to savour those feelings and turn your life around right the next day would be too much too soon. Even with the truth finally coming to the surface, it had never been able to stop you from always staying on guard, constantly preparing yourself and anticipating for the shoe to finally drop and to see things suddenly falling apart once again.
It took a while, and it took a lot of effort before you finally managed to continue on living and moving forward without constantly looking over your shoulders, no longer living in worries as if there was still more obstacles for you to deal with and there would be someone else that might try to take away your second chance of happiness. Though you had to admit that you wouldn’t have done it without Taehyung. Just like how you had promised to wait for him and be patient until the moment he could reach the point where he would be ready to take a step further, he had been just as tenacious in allowing you to grow and heal alongside him.
As time continued to pass, as the seasons changed from one to another, and both of you carried on with life, you soon realised that both of you continued to grow, changing together with time while the friendship bond between you that had once been fragile continued to strengthen itself as you were both healing from the remaining wounds of the past.
Once the truth was revealed and you began to understand the situation he was in, you also began to understand Taehyung a bit more. You learned to understand his reasons, and while you could never truly comprehend some of his actions in the past, you were far from putting all the blame on Taehyung for everything that had happened then. Meanwhile, ever since the night Taehyung confided in you and opened up to you, he began to open his eyes and admit to himself that it had been nothing but his fear and insecurities to blame for all the terrible decisions that he had once made, and he began to slowly forgive himself for everything that he had caused, all while earning your own forgiveness to allow both of you to heal at the same time.
Little by little, the invisible weight that you had almost always seen Taehyung carry with him began to chip apart and his confidence bloomed so beautifully that you almost believed you could see light coming from him whenever he was near. At the same time, you also felt the constricting pain inside your chest disappearing with time. It felt numb at first whenever you thought of the past, until the moment you realised that you felt nothing at all when you tried to look back, nothing but the longing for the good things to return and the hope for a chance to create new memories with him in the future.
You realised that the ghosts of the past would remain there, haunting in the shadows to remind either of you of the dark times when you had once lost each other. But you were taking all the baby steps needed to walk away from it with your head high, no longer giving them a chance to come in your way. And you were willing to try and look forward into the future, for as long as he would be there to do it together with you.
You had no idea how quickly time could come flashing by. It almost felt as if you merely blinked your eyes and here you were, sitting in the local pub with the small group of friends that you had managed to gain over the years you started living in London. Everyone raised their drinks—a mixture between large glasses of beer, a few glasses of cocktails, and one with a glass of wine—as they cheered to celebrate the event of the day.
You had managed to graduate together with the rest of your class, and for some miracle that would only happen to a lucky person in the name of Kim Taehyung, he managed to catch up and was graduating on the same week, with his own graduation ceremony coming only a few days later after yours.
“Here we are, finally ready to tackle the world after spending too many years with textbooks, overnight assignments, long essays, and overly boring classes,” your friend Gracie said as she sipped on her cocktail while you had placed yours down. You were on your second glass of the sugary cocktail that she had chosen for you, yet it had already felt too much for you to take for one night.
“Are you guys leaving back to your home country soon?” another friend of yours, Frankie, turned to look between you and Taehyung, who had joined the small party tonight and was sitting by your side with his glass of wine—the damn fancy pants.
“No, not exactly,” you answered him as you turned to Taehyung to see him nodding his head and smiling, silently agreeing with you. “We might be staying for another year. We have a few plans and I still have that internship going on too. We haven’t really been enjoying London to the fullest either while we were at school, so might as well take our time to relax and travel around before going home.”
Everyone at the table started nodding collectively before they started questioning each other about their own plans, sharing where they were off to now that graduate school was over.
“Speaking of plans—” Gracie started as the talk about their future endeavours came to halt. “Do you guys have any plans this next weekend? I’m heading out to Brighton with my sister to see this art festival. Anyone is welcome to join if you’re free. The more the merrier.”
While a few people sitting at the table shared their interest to come and enjoy the fun, you exchanged looks with Taehyung who was quick to refuse the offer. “Sorry, you guys go and have fun. ______ and I already made our own plans this weekend to celebrate.”
“Oh, I forgot about that. The lovebirds have planned to go on a weekend getaway, being all romantic and all that,” Frankie teased from across the table, making your face burn. Taehyung had told you that he had asked a few of his friends to find any interesting places out of town where he could take you, but to no avail. In the end, it was Frankie, the adventurous one out of your group, who had given him the perfect idea for the getaway, even if the two of them had yet to spoil you about the plans, stating that Taehyung had some surprises for you as a celebration gift.
You didn’t fail to notice how your friends had regarded you as ‘the lovebirds’, as most of the people who had come to know you and Taehyung since you moved here had always seen you as a couple and neither of you had ever considered to correct them. Even his friends had thought the same, hence why you would also join him whenever he was out with his friends the same way he had joined you and your gang tonight. To be honest, you couldn’t say that you had minded it at all, since there really was no way for you to put a title in the relationship that you had with Taehyung.
“Oh, I’m so jealous. But you kids can have a lot of fun together,” Gracie kept teasing you before the conversation continued to another topic, moving on to talk about anything else in general while your mind remained stuck in the cryptic plan Taehyung may have prepared for you.
“Are you still not telling me where we are off to?” you whispered to Taehyung sometime during the night while everyone else was busy pairing up, either to continue to talk as they finished their drinks or to leave the table and join the dancing crowd in the middle of the small pub.
Raising his glass of wine, Taehyung hid his grin but kept his eyes on you. There was a suspicious spark in his gaze, showing you how much he was enjoying himself for teasing and putting you on the edge. “I told you,” he said, leaning closer to you once he placed his empty glass away. “This will be the only secret that I’m keeping from you for a long time, but I’m going to make sure that you won’t regret it.”
You hated to admit it, but you loved the way he said those words and how you could truly take in every single promise he made for you, when the assurance in his words was clear. There was not even a single doubt in mind as you listened to his promise, knowing well that he would always make sure to make it all come true. Pressing against his side, you couldn’t resist looking up into his eyes, making him all flustered and nervous as you leaned up to act as if you were kissing his cheek as you whispered,
“Fine, I believe you. As long as you can give me the best weekend I could ever have.”
With a grin, Taehyung pulled you to his side and chuckled. “Challenge accepted.”
Later that weekend, Taehyung picked you up in the small city car that he had bought during the final year of his study and started driving far away from the city. More than two hours had passed and he still refused to tell you where he was taking you, though you had stopped asking him the moment you noticed how the air around you had seemed to change, how the temperature slowly dropped, and the sky above seemed to be getting clearer. You should have known that he would take you somewhere in the countryside when he mentioned something about this becoming a ‘relaxing weekend’, promising to make you feel completely at ease even before you reached the destination.
You must have fallen asleep at some point during the trip. Because the moment you woke up, the sight of the city was no more and all you kept seeing was a vast land of green and dense trees standing on either side of the road where the car was passing through.
Not too long after, the car strolled into a parking lot of an inn, located right between green valleys where vineyards and gardens of exotic flowers could be seen, along with nothing but a spread of greeneries surrounding the area.
A nice middle-aged lady at the receptionist welcomed you with a friendly smile when you arrived, and you felt at ease in her presence. As Taehyung gave her the information needed to check-in to the room that he had rented, your gaze drifted over to the open glass double doors overlooking the valleys located right behind the inn. The gorgeous view of the lush greenery left a certain calmness to your chest while the sight of the hills appearing in the distance reminded you of home.
It made you feel somewhat amused as you remembered just how far you were from home, and yet you never once felt out of place ever since Taehyung had come to join you. The sky today was cloudless blue, a wonderful change from the city where the sky almost looked like it was permanently painted in shades of grey, and you wondered if you would be able to see the stars in the night sky later.
You turned back to the receptionist to join Taehyung’s conversation with the kind receptionist lady just as she introduced the inn and explained all the facilities and scheduled activities that had all been provided for the guests.
“…our restaurant and bakery are open at all times, but breakfast is served at seven in the morning, though we always prepare our tea and coffee as early as six in the am. We have fresh-baked croissants ready for you every morning, and our dinner menu will be sent to your rooms an hour before they are served.”
You could have sworn that your stomach began to grumble in protest the moment croissants and snacks were mentioned, and you could use a glass of coffee at the moment with your body feeling a bit lethargic after the long drive. But then your attention perked up a little when she added—
“There is a hiking trail nearby where our guests usually go to Sunday morning which is open for visitors. No pets are allowed, however. And there are a few places nearby if you are looking for our local attractions. The art gallery is only five minutes walk from here and there is also the tour to the nearest cheese factory and our famous local brewery…”
A knowing smile came to your face just as you sneaked a glance at Taehyung, suddenly understanding the reason why he had chosen to take you to this place. You continued to talk with the kind receptionist lady until she handed you the key to the bedroom, and both you and Taehyung finally walked away while giving her words of gratitude.
“You can go straight to the room, I can get our bags.”
You shook your head at him and stubbornly stood at his side before he walked out the front door. “Let me help you. My bag alone can weigh a ton.”
Taehyung only chuckled as he let you follow him. Together, you systematically pulled out the bags that you had carried with you and he expertly set them together to make it easier for the two of you to carry them all together without making too many trips back and forth.
And when he suddenly pulled out an easel and a few pieces of empty canvases of all sizes from the trunk of the car, your heartbeat started racing uncontrollably inside your chest.
Taehyung grinned at you softly when he noticed you watching him set up his equipment and tools once you were back in the room, and then said, “I had plans of arranging this at my studio so I could do this properly, but I figured it would be best to paint you in a more comfortable space rather than the constricting room we have at my studio.”
Over the times that you had shared with Taehyung after you encouraged him to draw you, he had taken you to the small studio he had set up in his apartment, where he showed you his art and the drafts of his works that had left you in complete awe. You had spent a lot of time with him there ever since, where he had mostly done sketches of you, made rough drawings of your face in various poses and expressions, but never once had he tried to make a full painting of you as he kept telling you that he wanted it to be something special.
As you sat back on the edge of the bed, watching him put everything aside while looking both nervous and excited at the same time, you finally realised that there was something more behind this weekend getaway than a simple celebration given by your best friend. And whatever that was about to happen this weekend may as well determine the course of your lives together and that nothing between you would remain the same once this weekend ended.
“It looks a bit more challenging than the one we have at home, doesn’t it?”
With your hands on your hips, you looked up at the hiking trail not too far from the inn. It had been far too long since the last time you had gone out hiking properly the way you used to, and there was no doubt that the same could be said about Taehyung. But neither of you could resist it when the owner of the inn had let you know about this trail when the other guests had inquired it for this morning’s outdoor activity. After the slow and lazy day you spent since you arrived, the thought of getting active and moving seemed too enticing to resist.
You had spent your first afternoon at the inn lounging at the pool after you were done freshening up, then Taehyung took you to have a walk around the inn, enjoying the beautiful garden before you sat down with him in the inn’s cafe for dinner and the late nightcap. The rest of the evening had been so relaxing that you had ended up having the best sleep of your life, and the fact that you had to share the bed with Taehyung didn’t even bother you for a second.
When you woke up this morning feeling completely energized, you had instantly agreed to come with Taehyung to find the hiking trail that had become the talk during breakfast. But as you were standing right at the starting point of the trail, you were beginning to question yourself if this was a good idea.
“It sure looks like it,” Taehyung said, huffing slow breath after doing all the necessary warm-ups he needed before he could get started to hike up the hill. For someone who was out of practice, he somehow seemed eager to get on to it, and his energy was starting to rub on you to make you feel the same. “What? Are you worried if I’m going to beat you to the top? Or are you just nervous to find out that I’ve become faster?”
You rolled your eyes and scoffed. “As if,” you responded, refusing to admit that you were feeling slightly apprehensive about this, while he merely chuckled. “Ready? How about I race you to the nearest peak and show you that I’m still good at this.”
The sight of his amusement and a hint of mirth came dancing in his eyes for a moment before he finally gave out his hand for you to shake and said, “Oh, it’s on.”
Moments later, you found yourself racing against him up the trails. It had started easy for the first few meters off the landed ground before the slopes started to become a bit more tricky. The fresh air had given you the advantage of adding the extra boost of energy coming through your body in each inhale of breath, while the trickle of the nearest waterfall drew you in to help you to stay focused until you could find the trail leading to the peak. But you still couldn’t deny the fact that you were beginning to slow down as you were reaching higher grounds.
You slowly came to a halt right when you reached a steep point in the trail, suddenly feeling the exhaustion weighing you down that you had to take a moment to breathe. With your body folded and your hands reaching down to your knees, you looked up only to catch the sight of Taehyung disappearing right ahead of you on the next turn. It was clear that he still had more energy and vigour that you no longer have as he kept pacing up the trail, leaving you behind to continue the race.
Silently admitting defeat, you couldn’t help but smile as your mind wandered off to the past, back to the moment when both of you were still nothing but curious children and you were small enough to sneak away from the hiking trail to find an easier path up the hills behind your home so you could always beat him in the race. Seeing his disappearing back only showed you just how different everything was, though it didn’t stop you from feeling petty when you realised that Taehyung, after many years had passed, was finally able to defeat you.
Just like he had promised you he would.
With slow, ragged breaths, you kept going, following the trail to catch up with Taehyung while keeping your pace as steady as you could so you wouldn’t pass out where nobody would find you. You had expected to find him standing gloriously at the peak, celebrating his victory and gloating before he would start demanding his prize.
You were still wondering what he might be demanding from you for winning the bet when you walked past the next turn and immediately stopped on your tracks. Because right at that spot, still further away from the top that you had both determined to be your finish line, stood Taehyung, leaning against a tree as he waited for you to appear on the trail. He looked up as you came closer, smiling softly as he reached out to you, offering his hand to take.
Everything felt a bit fuzzy right then. You were almost in a dreamlike state as you took his hand, still reeling in shock at finding him waiting for you in the trail instead of having him rushing to claim his win—which he would have rightfully deserved, by the way. But any question that you were about to give him simply died on your tongue as he held your hand in a gentle grip and pushed against the tree. He said nothing to you as he smiled and turned away, still holding your hand as he continued to walk up the hiking trail. He kept his pace slow and steady the entire time as he took you with him, making his way to reach the finish line with you.
It took you to have a few hours of nap and a long soak in a hot bath before you could feel like a new person again after the challenging hike. Your muscles were still sore when you stepped out of the bathroom, but you were filled with new energy and anticipation when you found Taehyung in the room with his painting tools, getting ready to finally eternalise you through his painting.
For some reason, he had decided that it would be a good idea if you would keep things natural. No makeup or fancy clothes—even if you had packed a few choices of your favourite dresses for this special occasion. And yet he wanted none of that. Instead, he wanted this moment to be just between you and him, and the natural light coming from the afternoon sun that was coming through the window. And for some odd reason, not only had you decided to agree and follow along with his instruction, but you had also decided to pose in the silky robe that you had put on after coming out of the bath.
Your decision had surprised Taehyung for a moment, but he remained calm as he guided you to take a seat on the settee placed right in front of the window. He helped you find the most comfortable position that you could muster as you would need to pose for a long time. He had you lying on your side and facing him, with your hand laid over a cushion and the other laid resting on your hip. He studied your position for a moment, looking as if he was projecting the image he was seeing into his canvas, before he finally stepped back and returned to take his place on the other side of the easel.
Pulling out his phone, Taehyung played a soothing tune of music to fill the silence that was bound to build up once he got to work, while he figured it would help make you feel a bit more relaxed throughout the whole thing. “I hope this can help you loosen up a little. Hopefully it can also help you focus and not change your position when you’re bored,” he said, placing the phone not too far away from you.
“What if I fall asleep?” you asked him once the soft tune of the music began to fill the room, and he simply smiled at you.
“I don’t mind, just as long as you don’t fall off your seat,” he said, making you laugh.
The exchange of jokes helped lighten things up and you could see the tension on his shoulders slowly easing down. Though the moment he began to move his brush across the canvas and silence fell between you, the tension in the room seemed to pick up a notch and his furrowed brow gradually deepened.
“Are you still nervous around me, Taehyung?” you gently asked him when you caught him sighing deeply for the umpteenth time. “Does it make you nervous for doing this with me?”
Taehyung looked at you and gave you a wry smile. “Only for this. I just—it’s just the fact that I don’t want to fuck things up. I just want everything to be—”
“Perfect?” you teased him, already used to hearing him saying the exact same word whenever he would claim that he could be a perfectionist when it came to anything involving you and his art, making it even worse when he had to put the two together.
“Yeah—” he said, chuckling nervously and fidgeting in his seat for a moment before admitting, “I’ve waited a long time for this moment.”
“Really?” Your breath was almost caught in your throat by his admission. But it was the flutter inside your chest that troubled you the most, and how your skin flushed under his eyes when he looked at you with his heated gaze. As he continued to move his brush, transferring every part of you that he had caught through his vision into his canvas, you couldn’t stop yourself from wondering, “Was it different with—”
Taehyung instantly froze, and you almost regretted ever letting those words slip out of your mouth. You knew that it would be a terrible idea to bring up the past right when you were sharing something so important. And the regret grew deeper when you saw the same emotion reflected through his eyes when he looked at you. With a sigh, Taehyung spoke up while looking straight into your eyes, “It’s completely different. It always has.”
The intensity in his gaze made you feel uncomfortable, but it helped you realise how much he meant every word. At the same time, you felt your own humility coming forward, the shame for not only bringing up a painful past that you had vowed to move on from and also for comparing yourself to her.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay, really. I would have been curious too,” he said, smiling wryly. With a nod of his head as if he was convincing himself or perhaps giving himself a pep talk before he looked at you with more confidence in his eyes and said, “Let’s try and see if I can control my heartbeat enough to stop my hands from shaking.”
― optional female mc | fem!reader
― w: mutual masturbation, fingering
― 852 w.
― s: when you tease and please one another
When she touches you, your body comes alive with a burning hot desire. Every time her fingers brush your skin, electricity surges through each limb to make you anticipate the moment she goes further. As you lay on the bed together on a lazy afternoon, her wandering hands always lead to more. With her fingertips ghosting over your mound, it’s only a second before she dips her hand between your parting thighs.
A gasp fills the room and it makes her giggle. She is fully aware of what she does to you, what she does to your body. Goosebumps flood your skin as she teases your folds, running her fingers down your slit only to draw them back up toward your clit. Your eyes flutter closed before you’re grinning, and then you bite your lip as she circles the swollen, aching and ready nub with gentle caresses.
She can’t help but to touch herself when she feels the softness of your skin. Her own hand lowers down her stomach before she’s sinking her fingers between her thighs. A quiet whimper falls from her lips, causing you to open your eyes to turn and look at her. Your sights fall to the hand working between her legs first, before your attention is drawn back to the one touching you.
She quickens her pace on the both of you. The motions earn another gasp from your lips and you can’t help it when your hand falls to cover her fingers working diligently. Slick arousal spills from your entrance as you begin moving your hips in time with her. She can’t stop the moans spilling from within, either. You notice her sink her hand lower to dip her fingers into her soaked pussy, the sight making your body flushed with desire.
She does the same to you, lowering the digits to the arousal dripping out before pulling them back to your clit, continuing to circle the swollen bud to have you whimpering her name.
“So wet, baby,” she whispers with a grin to send a wave of heat rushing through your body.
“Feels so good,” you can’t help but to moan in return, digging your nails into her skin as she plays between your thighs. The tension begins to build. The warmth bubbles from between your legs thanks to her. Every touch is electric, pleasure filling your body until you can take no more.
Suddenly, you’re gripping her wrist as the waves of bliss roll through every inch of your body. You hold her tight as you ride out the pleasure thanks to her fingers, coming undone with a gasp and a moan of her name.
And after you begin coming undone, she continues her teasing. Her fingers drop to your entrance, gathering up your juices after the pleasure before returning to your clit, brushing over the far too sensitive nub until you’re gasping and pushing her away.
But now that you’re taken care of, you turn your attention to her. Climbing to your knees, you gently push her hand out of the way to pin to her side as she giggles. With a devious glint in your eye, your hand dives between her thighs, picking up where she left off. You feel the slickness of her arousal between her folds, toying with her slit for a moment before finding her clit.
“Make me come,” she whimpers desperately, sending another wave of heat through your body, but this time it’s with the desire to give her pleasure, make her feel good, and get her off.
“You’re so wet, baby,” you taunt her with her own previous words, a smirk on your face to make her bite her lip. Even more so when your hand lowers to pump your fingers inside of her dripping heat, only a few times, curling them against her walls to make her back arch from the bed and her toes curl. Then you pull away to align the digits with your mouth, pushing them inside to suck her juices right off your skin, tasting her sweetness right from the source.
“Fuck,” she gasps in surprise, and you’re pleased enough with yourself so you return the attention to her clit once again. Steady motions of pleasurable circles are drawn against her flesh. Her breaths grow heavy as her eyes snap shut. You feel the tension in her body and know she’s growing close.
“Come for me, baby,” you whisper the encouragement, feeling her hips roll and her thighs quiver with the need for release.
It doesn’t take much longer for her to spill over the edge. The pleasure rushes through her as she gasps and tightens her thighs around your hand. A few whimpers of your name fall from her lips. The moment takes hold as she squirms and moans and gasps and trembles.
Then she begins coming down from the high. Her body is spent. Her breaths remain heavy. You lean in to place a few kisses against her temple to soothe her to relaxation, and the worn out grin on her lips tells you just how much she loves it.
Taehyung and you had found each other on pure chance- and while you don't notice the love blossoming between you two, blaming it on your overly romantic perception of things, he very much noticed long ago- and has prepared his confession for you.
Tags/Warnings: romance, angst, friends to lovers, Taehyung is in love and yes that's a warning, Kim Yeontan is there too, smut, size kink, protected sex, pls there's no shame in using lube, Tae has above average qualities underneath his pants but wbk, handjob (f. Receiving), oral (m & f receiving)
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This is a longer Oneshot. 4.1k words.
You laugh as Taehyung opens the door for you, letting you inside his private apartment first before he walks in after to close the door behind him. You had met up outside technically to go and sit around a little, maybe walk along hangang, but then it had started to basically pour dogs and cats, forcing you back inside. But because Taehyung didn't want to put you in any harms way by someone realizing who he was and starting to take pictures of the two of you- already agitated by the most recent dating rumors some people had made up again- so he had basically decided to finally take you to his home. And maybe, just maybe, he had hoped for an opportunity like this anyways.
Yeontan knew you- and loved you a lot, although Taehyung likes to argue that the little dog could never hold as much love for you as he did. "Come on, I'll show you the bathroom so you can get into some dry clothes." He says, and you want to argue- but the gentle hand on your back snaps you almost into a trance, unable to go against his words as he leads you where he promised he would. Everything was much larger in his apartment, much more refined and expensive, and it felt like you were out of place with your no-brand clothes and drenched socks. But for Taehyung, he felt another wave of nervousness- something of an entirely different nature, as he shows you some of his fresh laundry, and tells you to simply take your pick in what you wanted to wear once you were changing.
You were finally here- and he would finally tell you what's been on his mind for months now.
"I know, its exciting isn't it Tan?" He mumbles towards the dog on the floor happily yapping around, probably unaware of the inner fight Taehyung had with himself. Maybe he shouldn't tell you? He wanted to keep you at his side for as long as possible- but if he told you, and you didn't feel the same, wouldn't that break you two apart? He's never really heard of any friendships being the same after a love confession had been dropped on one another. He hoped that maybe, just maybe, he could get over it and continue like nothing happened with you, if things went south.
Putting on some music to somehow calm himself a little, he walks into his bedroom to change out of the wet clothes he was still wearing. Did you even like the way he dressed? Only now, as he pulls out some random items that would make him feel as comfortable as possible, does he realize that he's never asked you about that. Maybe you found it odd, or weird- oh god what if you found Him weird? But then again, you've never seemed to be uncomfortable with him around you, or close to you, so he just hoped that he had done the right thing by letting himself fall for you.
He remembers meeting you in france- you were on a small vacation, while he had a concert there that night. He wanted to explore the museums by himself for once, trying his hardest not to cause any attention to himself- and then he had lost his wallet, somewhere around the painting of snakes of which the name he can't remember. He remembers the summer dress you wore that day, and the honest smile you had on your lips as you gave him back his wallet- before you simply continued to stroll around yourself.
He had made eye contact here and there, before it ended in actively searching for your form in the huge building, trying to figure out what paintings and sculptures caught your interest the most. 'Are you stalking me, Mr.Kim?' you had asked him in korean, and he had known that you had caught him in more than just the simple fact of following you around the museum.
And ever since then, you both met up regularly- and Taehyung began falling for you more and more.
"Oh, there you are!" You say, before backing out the room as you notice his lack of shirt. He chuckles a bit to himself at the fact that you had oh so cutely held your own clothes in front of your face before ducking out the room again- everything you did was so endearing to him, it was disgusting almost. "A-Are you done? I'm so sorry!" You chuckle, as he slips his shirt over his head, before walking out.
"No need to be sorry. Do you want to wash it here?" He asks casually, trying his hardest not to seem as nervous as he was. You looked absolutely beautiful in his clothes- baggy and way too oversized on you. It made him feel weirdly protective over you, as if he had somewhat already claimed you as his.
But he was still far from calling you his.
If his bandmates knew about you, they'd be a chaotic mix of teasing comments and worrisome advises. But Taehyung knew how dangerous this was- how complicated this could, and very much would become down the line if you accepted his feelings. He was aware of that- and it was one of the main reasons why he wouldn't be surprised if you turned him down because of that very reason. He was a person of public interest, nothing he did would never be like fresh meat to the vultures of magazines out there. They would very much tear you apart as well in the process, uncaring of you as a human being- and you were smart enough to be aware of this.
Maybe he shouldn't do this.
But you're so pretty as you play with Yeontan on the floor, uncaring of anything he might be thinking as you jump around the yapping animal, equally as excited- before you notice him staring. The shade of red on your cheeks was something he wanted to keep in his mind forever, as you cough to mask your shyness, before he walks up to you, randomly taking your hand in his before he playfully sways you to the music currently playing. It's way less intimitading to you than it should feel- but then again, Taehyung had that talent of making things so easy and simple for you. It was a little unfair, really.
And so you let yourself be swept away by him, leaning into his chest as he smiles to himself. His other hand not holding your hand softly places itself onto your back, warm and gentle as he simply takes what he can have in that moment. He dreams, just for a second, that you're his, that you shared this home, that you loved him. For a moment, he leans down a bit, smiling as he spots your closed eyes- seeing you so comfortable in his embrace makes him feel an odd sense of pride somehow.
But all moments have to pass- and when the song ends, he simply chuckles, unknowingly sets your heart on fire at the sound before he parts from you, letting you roam around the living area a bit.
"Oh?" You ask, as you walk towards one of his windows, where a candle is sat, a lid on it to protect it, it seems. Since he's not protesting against it, you pick it up, opening the lid to notice that it's scented- very gently, a nice and comfortable smell that makes you wonder if he ever lights it at all. It has been lit it seems- but it's barely burned, so he probably only tried it out.
"We can light it while I search for a movie to watch?" He asks, and you nod, before you realize that he wants to watch a movie with you.
In his bedroom.
And while you trust him with your entire being that he doesn't have any ulterior motive about it- hell, his thoughts are probably completely innocent as always, but you didn't trust yourself in that situation with him. He's a handsome man, he's nice, understanding, the perfect amount of a little odd, and chivalrous. How could you Not think of him as a potential love interest?
But until now, you've never let your thoughts stray anywhere further than a little daydreaming. You couldn't commit to a full-blown crush on him, no way was there a possibility that he wanted anything more than friendship from you. He's said it before as well- not directly, but when the recent scandal had come out about him and someone potentially dating, he'd seemed so annoyed about relationships, that you had started to just assume he didn't want to have anything serious for now- at least as long as he was an idol. "You coming?" He asks, ripping you out of your thoughts. "Or wait- are you uncomfortable, you know, with me in my bedroom?" He wonders, and you're about to protest. "I promise I won't try anything." He says with a chuckle, walking into the room without looking back, and somehow, the way he said it, so lighthearted and easily stung.
As you walk into the room, its cozy. The candle is already lit on his bedside table, while he looks something up on his laptop, before he pats the mattress next to him. You lay down there, unsure at first what to say. "Is it okay if I stay over like that?" You ask him. "Like- you don't have to keep me over if I'm intruding. I'm sure I can get a cab or something-" You say, clearly nervous, as Taehyung stops what he's doing- obviously having caught onto your emotional chaos.
"Am I making you uncomfortable?" He asks- he doesn't need to know if you are, because he can clearly see it already. Had he overstepped a boundary somehow without noticing?
"No, no you're not-" You start, before you sit up, looking at your bare feet on his sheets. "It's my fault, sorry." You say.
"What's wrong?" He asks, having closed his laptop before he placed the device on the ground next to his bed, before he sits up as well, careful to give you a little space to breathe.
"I.." You start, before you realize you can't back out now. "I really tried, I promise you that. It's not your fault, so uhm.. please don't blame yourself." You mumble, as Taehyung seems to not quite catch on. "But I don't think we can be friends anymore." You say.
"Why?" He breathes out, scared of the answer you might give. But also, a little hopeful. Could it be?
"I'm sorry." You say putting your face into your hands out of frustration. "Especially NOW, after you've already been through that whole scandal, fuck.." You talk into your hands. "I think.. no." You start, before it finally leaves your lips. "I have a crush on you and I don't know if I can get over it." you say, and wait for a moment. But when he doesnt react, you excuse yourself again, moving so that your feet dangle off the side of his bed. But before you can leave, his larger hand had already caught your wrist, holding you in place.
"You're really unfair." He says, before he moves to sit behind you, pulling you into his chest. "I wanted to say it first."
"Wait-" You start, eyes wide as you look to the side, Taehyungs face and especially lips dangerously close to yours.
"I was actually wondering how to tell you." He says, his arms wrapping around you a bit tighter before he looks down to your lips with a smile. "I was scared that I might be the one spilling my feelings first, not you." He says, and you laugh in disbelief to yourself, making him chuckle against the side of your head as well. "I can't believe you feel the same." He smiles, and you have to agree as well.
Turning around in his lap, you put your legs over his, getting comfortable, before you finally look up at him. His hands move from your sides to your face, gently holding it, before he leans forwards, placing his first kiss onto your lips- before he leans in again, and again, smiling as you lean in as well, your hands now reaching out as well to hold onto his shirt. "I really mean it." He says between his antics. "Just in case-" He starts, seemingly unable to stop himself from kissing you. "-you think I only wanted to get you into my bed." He says, letting himself fall backwards onto the mattress with you ontop of him, making you laugh.
"I honestly wouldn't have minded if that was the case either." You say, and he opens his eyes, before he moves around with you, turning you both over so he was leaning over you.
"I'd never." He says, with full seriousness in his tone. "But I'd also be lying if I said I never imagined it.." He says, and you blush- but decide to go along.
"Imagined what?" You say, and he smirks, eyes suddenly holding a glimmer in them you haven't seen before. They're not innocent anymore, not by a long shot, as his hand travels over your body, down until his fingers find the hem of his shirt you're wearing, teasingly wandering underneath to feel your soft skin the fabric was hiding.
"Me, and you.." He says, eyes watching his hand underneath the white fabric of his shirt. "Me inside you.." He continues, eyes suddenly looking up at yours as if to check if you were still comfortable.
"That's all?" You say, feeling his hand carefully place itself over your bare breast, confident, but always ready to retreat if it went too far for you. Even though you knew that Taehyung could never hurt you.
"Hm, no.." He says, voice low and deep as his other hand moves underneath the shirt as well, your back lifting up the mattress as if to give him a silent ok to remove the garment from you- something he happily does, eyes drinking in the sight of your bare skin underneath the warm glow of the candle close by. "Imagined myself, between those pretty legs.." He explains to you, as he leans down, lips ghosting over your now exposed skin, teasing, as you begin to become unable to stay still. "Imagined you squirming around like that too." He chuckles, helping you out of your underwear as well as his hand places itself onto your exposed center, fingers easily finding their way even though he's not looking where they go.
You feel a bit weird, and he notices that instantly too- but before he can talk, you answer his unasked question already. "I- no one's.. done that.." You say, and he hums a reply, placing a kiss onto your lips.
"Nothing ever, or just that?" He wonders, and you squirm around a bit as a second finger enters you, digits playing around as you feel weirdly sensitive.
"Uhm.." You start. "I've had.. sex before but-" You explain, hips moving without your control. "Nothing else." You say.
"So you've never been eaten out?" He asks, and you shake your head. "No foreplay like that?" He wonders, and you shake your head again.
"I've uh- given head before though-" You say, and he shakes his head at that, watching you become more aroused with every second that passes.
"You're so sweet, love." He chuckles. "It's upsetting me to think about other men not cherishing you the way you should be." He says, and you whine a bit at that, unsure what to really do or say, as his hand leaves you, before moving around his bed, giving you a second to breathe. He blows out the candle on his bedside table, rummages around inside his drawer, before he finds what he was looking for.
You've sat up at this point, watching him undress as he smiles at you, streetlights outside his window the only source of light somewhat outlining his physique as he leans over you again, only now finally noticing the simple size difference between you two, now that you were both bare of any clothes. You look to the side as a rather cold object touches your shoulder, and he places it a bit further away, while you realize what it was. "Just to be a little extra careful." He chuckles as he notices you glancing at the bottle of lube, while he opens the condom and begins to place it onto his length. "Don't wanna hurt you."
"But I'm wet enough, it always hurts a little at first-" You say, and suddenly, Taehyung grows serious.
"Not with me." He almost seems to promise. " He says, before taking the bottle and opening the cap of it. "You can't imagine how upset I am at all those stupid fucks that got to touch you and-" He stops himself with a shake of his head, before he deems you prepared enough, finally lining himself up with your entrance. "Talk to me, alright?" He asks, and you nod, before he lets his head enter you, slowly, already feeling your warmth around him clench in need. He checks on you with a glance, and only continues when he see's no signs of you being uncomfortable.
If anything, you're growing a bit impatient.
He gasps out as he's finally inside fully, letting his forehead rest onto your collarbone, lips ghosting over your skin while he chuckles. "I can't believe you're taking me that well." He says. "So good." He praises, and you lift your legs, pulling him a bit closer as you clench around him. "Impatient aren't we." He says in amusement, biting down on your skin and making you laugh a bit at his antics.
"Move!" You say with a whine, making him finally start to follow your order, at first slowly trying to find a pace you're both comfortable with. But its no use- whatever romantic thought Taehyung had in mind was thrown out the window with the first breathless sound you made, head buried into his sheets as he held onto your delicate hips with eager hands. He can't help it- it's almost painful to try and hold himself back when he has you right in his hands, with your glowing body on his bed, moaning his name like it was the prettiest tune on earth.
He knows he'd fallen deep.
And so he can't keep his eyes off of your body, watching you shiver in pleasure as you come undone, growing sensitive as he pulls out of you, not wanting to push you any further just for his own enjoyment.
And then you move forward, pulling the condom off of his length before looking up at him, checking if you were okay- meeting his dark eyes, staring down at you as if you were a dream he can't quite believe was real. He lets his head fall back as he grows unashamed of his own noises, with the way your lips wrap around him- hands caressing whatever you can't fit. "Baby-" He chokes out, unsure how to tell you before it suddenly happens- his seed spilling down your throat, making you swallow around the head of his cock, his hands fisting the sheets, body unsure if he was too sensitive or not satisfied enough yet.
But he's spent after you finally part from him, laying on your stomach next to his form now sprawled out on his back on his bed- eyes closed, gentle smile on his lips, while his chest rises and falls with every breath. You run a hand through his hair, making him emit something akin to a purring sound, as he turns his head, brows furrowing when you lean away from his lips. "No- kiss me." He whines, and you chuckle.
"I probably still have your cum on my tongue." You argue, and he opens his eyes at that, leaning over and pulling your head down to him at that.
"Don't care." He says, before he kisses you filthily- open mouthed and tongue moving over yours, visibly uncaring of what you thought was something no guy could ever like. "I'll always want to kiss you." He says, before he moves down between your legs, making you blush even in the darkness of the room. "Even here." He chuckles, and you're ready to protest-
but your moans deceive you quickly, shutting you up successfully.
There's nothing for you to compare it to, unable to find a memory close to it, as you can't help but let yourself be led by his touch and tongue, sensation entirely new to you as Taehyung between your legs enjoys the way you struggle to keep composure. He watches in awe how your back arches here and there, remembers specific patterns that make you emit a certain sound, entirely focused on you.
You can't help but wonder if he gets anything out of this at all.
But oh, if you knew how he enjoyed the power he had over you in that moment, hands keeping your hips in place every time they try and lift away from him.
As if you'd ever try and get away from him in the first place.
The next morning, there's only Yeontan greeting him on his bed- and for a good minute or two he's convinced that yesterday didn't happen at all.
But then he spots the bottle of lube and the empty wrapper of the condom he'd used last night, and he's reminded of everything that happened yet again. But why weren't you there? Did you overthink everything yet again, did you realize you didn't want to be with him after all? Did he do something wrong and didn't notice?
A bit sleepily he finds some pants, throwing on a shirt from the floor, before he walks into the living area of his apartment, hoping to spot you like in all those movies and romantic novels. But you're not there either, and he sighs as he runs a hand through his hair in disappointment. Maybe he really had hoped for too much in the end- but then he notices the note on the table, something that hadn't been there yesterday. 'Out grabbing some breakfast- be back soon :)'
He smiles to himself as he reads it- and as if on cue, his doorbell rings, alarming Yeontan who barks at whoever dare try to intrude his home. Looking at the camera installed, he begins to grin as he notices you wearing his zip-hoodie; something you probably found hanging close to the entrance. He opens the door, looking down at your form standing there sheepishly. "Did I wake you?" You ask, as he lets you in, humming an agreeing answer. "Oh sorry- I went out and wanted to grab something to eat for us but on my way back I realized I didn't know the code to your-" You start, but get cut off by his form trapping you against his kitchen counter, arms on either side of your body as his hands brace him against the cool stonetop.
"I woke up because you weren't there, not because you came back." He says simply, and you can only muster a small surprised 'oh' as an answer, making him chuckle before he kisses your lips. "Don't scare me like that again." He says, pushing his jacket off your shoulders, before he lifts you up, throwing you over his shoulder and making you laugh.
"What are you doing!" You shriek in wonder, as he simply smacks your butt playfully.
"I'm still tired." He says simply, letting you down to help you back into bed and under the warm covers.
"And that's my problem?" You ask, yawning next to him before he pulls you to his chest.
"Now it is." He says. "All my problems are yours; and all of yours are mine, after all." He says.
And you simply nod, closing your eyes while listening to his heartbeat.
So there's a scene in the hybrid!bts x mafia!reader (the one that lives in my head that I have yet to write, yeah that one) where the boys see the reader at their weakest for the first time.
It would be only a couple months after they've been adopted by the reader, when everything is still so new and the boys are skeptical of the reader's intentions.
The reader will still be trying to keep their job under wraps and away from the boys, as they figure it would probably be safest for them.
This is (probably) correct, but it also places a lot of confusion and mistrust with the boys, even though they're fairly certain you would not hurt them.
Even Jin had no choice but to come to that conclusion after months of leaving them to their own devices, letting them do as they please, and not dragging them to events in order to show them off.
Namjoon had already pointed it out when they noticed you had assigned bodyguards to them the first night they arrived.
Still, they didn't know you. And you didn't know them, even though they were living right down the hall from you, in your own home. Even though you would occasionally be around to have breakfast with them, though it would admittedly often be cut short and end with you rushing off yet again.
You do this quite often and are usually gone during the day, doing things that you would never disclose to them (though they would sometimes get snippets of your day through your conversations thanks to their inhuman ears).
So I'm sure you can imagine their surprise when, a couple days before they see you at your weakest, you come home early.
They'd hear your voice through the front door before you even stepped in the house, and their ears would perk up at the distress in your voice.
By the time you'd burst through the back entrance, they would already be standing in the hallway trying to see the commotion.
Namjoon and Yoongi would be standing in the front, forever the protectors of their little pack, though Jin wouldn't be too far behind. The rest of the boys would be peeking over their shoulders and around their arms.
Yoongi would hiss the second he meets your eyes, though it wouldn't be because of you. It would be because of the blood that now tinges the usually sterile smell of your home. It would replace the slight hint of vanilla that normally floats from your room.
You would pay him no mind, directing your "assistants" to help with injured people and the back of your brain trying to come up with an excuse for the boys to keep them away from your work just a little while longer.
The scent of blood would be so strong that Jimin would flinch, covering his nose with Hoseok doing the same soon after.
Jin would offer to help, taking a step forward only to stop when you tell them to stay away. You'd tell them you don't want them getting dirty, but offer them a smile that leaves doubt in their minds.
You wouldn't stay to talk with them about this either. You'd figure out an excuse later, some stupid reason as to why they're witnessing you and your assistants drag a handful of injured men (men they've seen around the house, men they've chatted with before, some they might even label friendly) down to the east wing.
The wing you told them to stay out of, the same one their bodyguards would direct them away from each time they got nosy (or Yoongi "forgot").
The boys would watch you sling your arm around one of these men's waist, helping them walk down to that wing and not even offering so much as a goodbye.
Taehyung would scoff and turn around, heading back to his comfortable spot in the living room. The rest of the boys would soon follow.
None of them would talk about that night again, not until a couple days later.
They would talk about how the scent of blood hasn't faded, though. Even days after that night the scent of blood would linger in the air.
Jungkook would joke about you hiding dead bodies in the cellar and the boys would laugh, but it would always feel slightly off.
They'd see the injured men walking around with bandages and casts, seemingly taking it slow for a few days.
And yet, somehow, the scent of blood would linger, stronger at times and weaker at others.
Jin would mention how it always seemed to follow you, how his nose would scrunch up when you'd pass him on your way to sit down after getting your morning coffee.
Like right now, when all the boys are lingering in different parts of the kitchen, pretending not to watch you scuttle over to the coffee machine.
You wouldn't notice them looking at you, wrapped up in a light robe over your work clothes because you've been feeling cold the last few days.
You wouldn't notice a lot of things, in fact. Like when your body starts to sway and your grip on the counter seems nonexistant. Or how the world has begun to tilt, a frown forming on your face.
It would be Jimin that notices you sway and and whites of your knuckles as you grip the counter.
It would be Namjoon that jumps when he hears you fall, but it would be the bodyguards that rush to your body first.
The boys would walk over to your body and try not to crowd you even more as the bodyguards fret over your crumpled form on the ground.
The scent of blood would get strong as someone tries to move you, a sharp intake of breath alerting everyone in the room that something is wrong. One of the guards would run from the room, yelling about needing someone in the kitchen.
Jin, always the mother in the room, would tell everyone to give you space. He would surprise even himself when he crouches down and undoes your robe after he notices something.
When he pulls back the fabric, they'd find your white button down stained with blood just over your hip and more just above your elbow.
You'd feel how frantic his fingers shake as he undoes the buttons on your shirt, and you would cringe as you imagine the look on his face when he sees your shitty wrapping job.
As you lay on the floor, you'd wonder how your doctor would feel if they saw your poor attempt at bandaging yourself up in your room a few nights earlier. Your poor judgment on just how serious your injuries were.
In the end, the in-house doctor would come in to the kitchen and scold you for hiding this from them. You'd laugh softly when he mentions you've bled through all the padding and make a stupid joke about this not being the first time - your attempt at lightening the mood. It wouldn't work.
The boys would watch as the doctor, a random man in their eyes, and a few guards would pick you up and take you to the east wing. One of the boys would make a comment about how you didn't cry.
No. You wouldn't cry. This would be the first time they saw you weak and vulnerable, but they wouldn't see you cry for the first time. That would be much, much later.
It would be months later, and you would be crying at Yoongi's feet. His own blood and Namjoon's tainting your hands and staining your nightgown.