#captions Tumblr posts

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    continuing my ongoing caption experiment, someone who doesn’t know the context please caption this

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  • Caption this #captions #caption #rain #magnolia #tree #nature #video #videooftheday (at Northernhay Gardens)
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CLnQ5lkBNBe/?igshid=1tg9xvj8g3bet

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    “Uh oh, is someone having a hard time getting back to sleep? I thought you be tired after Ms. Pandora shrunk you down to baby size. Come to Mommy baby boy, I got you. Shh shh shh, here’s your binkie, *pops* there’s a good boy. Ohhhh you are just too precious! The way you’re looking up at me with those cute little eyes. The way your whole hand just wraps around my finger. Everything about you is just so cute and adorable!”

    “I know you’re probably struggling right now because you were my fiancé until a few hours ago. My little baby has a lot on his mind, doesn’t he? Well whatever Ms. Pandora did to you is gonna be taking affect soon. You’re big boy thoughts are gonna go bye bye pretty soon! But don’t worry, I’ll have some help from my new girlfriend, your other Mommy! That’s right honey, you’re getting two Mommy’s to have and hold you! Isn’t that exciting?”

    “Awww such a sleepy baby. *sniff sniff* With a pretty big stinkie in his pants. Shh shh it’s okay just relax, I’ll get you changed baby boy. Then I’ll rock you to sleep myself. When Mama gets home, I’ll have her feed you with some warm milk, straight from the source. Rest those little eyes honey and Mommy will get you to a fresh diapie again.”

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  • I may not believe in repackaging the male gaze as female empowerment but I do believe in attention

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  • #Words to live by #osomatsusan#osomatsu #osomatsusan season 2 #anime#captions #pretty sure this has been posted already but I needed this in my blog and I couldn't bother to look for it #sry
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  • Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions– there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

    (also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

    image

    originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

    Responses:

    • (Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”
    • me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson
    • Introducing the polycule to the parents
    • *boom* … did…you guys hear that too?
    • Ma Signor !
    • Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.
    • the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay
    • the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized
    • chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)
    • That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)– closest
    • A Good Friday night
    • good omens (2019)
    • [“the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief” meme] who’s the boy and who’s the mischief though????
    • Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating
    • Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.
    • I love my bird wife
    • Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance
    • throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child
    • When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature
    • angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)
    • draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show
    • What have I gotten myself into
    • Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who
    • A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.
    • A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby
    • There are three types of people on Halloween:
    • Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this…
    • oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!
    • gay brunch
    • Three little maids from school are we
    • guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back
    • those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.
    • Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility
    • When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers
    • “No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum.”
    image

    originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

    Responses:

    • “In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1
    • “ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul”
    • what, YOU don’t have a special eavesdropping chimney window?
    • Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch
    • man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating– closest
    • when you end up third wheeling the straight couple
    • lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney
    • A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk
    • Idk Shakespeare?
    • experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins
    • Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting
    • Landlords laugh over student renter’s misfortune
    • I never asked for this
    • Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear
    • voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease
    • Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!
    • lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?
    • human trafficking
    • And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!
    • Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress
    • A couple tortures a man in a box.
    • It’s all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you– okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept
    • Taking eavesdropping to the next level
    • Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out?
      SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 
    • overhearing how people talk about you when they think they’re alone puts you in the shithouse 
    • Does he know we can see him?
    • dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 
    • the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 
    • Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 
    • Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us
    • “Remember, don’t feed him after midnight”
    image

    originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

    Responses:

    • “When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”
    • horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.
    • definitely don’t have a napoleon complex going on
    • King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set
    • king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk
    • Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession
    • man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse
    • That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive
    • Who the fuck put a horse on the stage
    • isn’t this that picture of napoleon on the horse
    • Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue– closest
    • Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.
    • Night out with the lads
    • Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom
    • gay army fights different gay aesthetics– hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz
    • Well at least I LOOK badass
    • ceasar if he hadn’t gotten stabbed (colourised)
    • some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake
    • It’s just a model
    • Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?
    • Someone rides a horse statue in public.
    • Just a normal party with the bros.
    • what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 
    • Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 
    • Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 
    • All hail Incitatus the king 
    • we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 
    • oh god is that hamilton 
    • Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 
    • Gay <3
    • Officer: This horse… is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

    image


    originally taken from:
    the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

    Responses:

    • That One kid in class
    • its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*
    • *record scratch* yeah, that’s me. you’re probably wondering how I got here– closest
    • Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done
    • left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown
    • the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep
    • lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we’ve all been there)
    • It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano– sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.
    • That was a fake horse in the last photo right?
    • child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time
    • dissociation solves everything
    • I can’t believe it’s not butter
    • Honey we talked about this
    • My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural
    • child has nightmare of boring job
    • When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night
    • just an average day in a hetero marriage
    • what do i do my wife’s having period cramps again
    • Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!
    • “No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”
    • Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.
    • When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!
    • Do you realize how effed you are?
    • Ugh, not this lecture again!
      Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 
    • asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 
    • Will he shut up already!
    • no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 
    • this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 
    • Me internally vs externally 
    • Daddy issues

    image

    originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

    Responses:

    • It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein
    • why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on
    • I hate this itchy hat
    • Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours
    • people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank
    • pov: you’re a time traveler
    • guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos
    • No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind
    • Is this from Harry Potter?
    • disneyland main street usa workers on strike
    • local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.
    • “Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all”
    • “We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”– not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)
    • dc movie filter on bridgerton
    • america?
    • looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again
    • Who still wears page boy hats bro?
    • Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That
    • Bitches are relieved at some party.
    • Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions
    • How tf do I act natural in this situation– closest
    • do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 
    • It’s too fucking hot outside for this outfit 
    • ?
    • when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 
    • pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 
    • Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 
    • He’s having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck
    image

    originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

    Responses:

    • “William Shakespeare wrote: “To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man” I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical
    • eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
    • woooooorrrrd
    • Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.
    • what my professors think they look like
    • Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders
    • ‘and since you’ve now graduated high school, you’ll be entering college etc. blablabla’ ………meanwhile, there’s a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)
    • Jonas darling baby <3– can’t argue with that
    • I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera
    • ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can’t fool me.
    • “as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor”
    • “Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!”
    • Graduation speakers are out, singers are in
    • Senior year takes a new meaninbg
    • mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women
    • Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like
    • younger boris johnson (derogatory)
    • jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking
    • What a fine graduation evening we’re having today
    • -70 points for slytherin you all have no swag
    • A man with a college hat sings.
    • An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody
    • How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years
    • East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-
    • I may not have been “cool” in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!
    • I finally got my GED!
    • that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated
    • he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk
    • Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times
    • Smrt
    image

    originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

    Responses:

    • There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming
    • jinkies
    • femme fatale (including to herself)
    • I’ll have a threesome soon !
    • Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.
    • thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex
    • When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again
    • jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it’s not the way! stay alive! i love you!!
    • The throuple is thriving
    • Get off the milf
    • orgy
    • my last three braincells because im a horny slut
    • countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react
    • Rasputin’s lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia
    • Woman’s soul leaves body
    • Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex
    • bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples
    • When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy
    • Jesus cumming
    • one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody’s drunk
    • What have I done
    • Hozier??????????
    • Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.
    • This time, the chick IS the magnet
    • An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)
    • What do you mean they canceled GLOW?
    • “I TOLD you it was cashmere!”
    • Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.
    • It’s not what it looks like!
    • jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.
    • jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch
    • I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!
    • Shrek 5, jesus’s return
    • c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

    just about all of these are close lol

    image

    originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

    Responses:

    • Don’t look, I’m still pooping
    • yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me
    • *i can’t even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*– closest
    • Cospeto!
    • „No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“
    • when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up
    • When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me
    • right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao
    • Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”
    • Yeah I got nothing
    • gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she’s a twink. she’s not amused but she’s watching this happen anyway
    • me tired of MET’s bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)
    • “stop smiling at me like that I’m trying to pout over here”
    • “I got fleas, you got fleas… wanna fuck?”
    • I have the best idea!
    • Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy
    • lesbian is bothered by dilf
    • Me trying to flirt
    • if call me by your name was hetero and set in america
    • how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode
    • So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.
    • What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????… unless??
    • Two people flirt in a poor place of town/
    • “If you ask me what I’ve got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in”
    • You look like ur gonna kill me but ok
    • Really? You again?
    • Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.
    • Have you seen Godot?
    • she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.
    • idk pick better pictures– I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS
    • 200% done with your crap 
    • Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves
    image

    originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

    Responses:

    • The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy
    • dear god its hiddeous
    • Capitalism
    • Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.
    • ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet
    • „Stop! He feels bullied!“
    • 'this is my newest take for jesus’s crucifixion crown …… what do you mean they already put him up’
    • That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK– closest
    • Omg I love the adventure zone!
    • minesweeper (windows xp)
    • “Okay whatever you do don’t touch the shiny spiky ball” “It’s so shiny I wanna touch it”
    • Taking down the trash way too late
    • IT’S NOT A PHASE MOM
    • Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer…. again. Leia isn’t happy
    • Star Wars 2030
    • “And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “
    • futuristic kkk
    • long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire
    • Put it down put it down put it down
    • “Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”
    • A weird ass crown is presented
    • The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong
    • How it feels to want something that u cant have
    • AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY
    • I know it’s risky but… lube me up
    • ?
    • use the force luke.
    • that is a weird fleshlight
    • When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it
    • Touch the orb
    image

    originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

    Responses:

    • When no one comes to your birthday party :(
    • fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot
    • i really wonder who he thinks he’s playing footsie with
    • Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table– closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).
    • the last supper afterparty after jesus left
    • When you order the last supper on wish
    • espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag
    • Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table
    • Now THIS is a Good Friday night
    • this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11
    • that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her
    • After the last supper
    • Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour
    • When the cishets aren’t home
    • waiter hides from customers
    • Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:
    • what’s left of the homies Jesus had dinner with
    • university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong
    • I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES
    • Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv
    • Someone hids under a table
    • “You’re about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work”
    • 5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:
    • They never invite me to their parties!
    • Just another girl’s night in
    • Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.
    • dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)
    • just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)
    • Just a normal day with the boys
    • Thievery
    image

    originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

    Responses:

    • Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?
    • holy disco
    • Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.
    • catholicism
    • me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)
    • jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him
    • Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk
    • Lord of the rings?
    • ewww christianity gross
    • “behold, I am Important”
    • “Seriously?? It’s not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!”
    • Jesus at the Disco
    • Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem
    • disco is heaven
    • Want to join my new religion?
    • the kkk
    • church christmas pageant where everyone’s sober but it’s based on the director’s fever dream
    • Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay…
    • “Oh god I think I’m starting my period”
    • A party is held with a priest in the middle
    • “Let’s get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!”
    • The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!
    • You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but…I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”
    • Jesus visits Hogwarts
    • I must really stink if no one will even come close to me
    • the extra ass funeral i DESERVE
    • star wars life day
    • A cult at it’s best– closest
    • Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess
    image

    originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

    Responses:

    • When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot
    • loyalist of subjects
    • bow before your queen
    • They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.
    • somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral
    • Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server
    • mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass– closest
    • That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit
    • I can’t even tell what’s going on here
    • 8th grade school assembly about how it’s uncool to shit on the walls at school
    • let’s all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one’s hard lol)
    • “Yes i am a time traveller, now don’t freak out”
    • Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills
    • White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over– OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)
    • dead man gives speech at his own funeral
    • brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing
    • high society social function ends in mass murder– right opera, wrong scene
    • Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog
    • Black-dressed bitches worship a man.
    • Worst school assembly of all time
    • POV:You’re the window in the classroom and someone said “its snowing”
    • When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert
    • That’s what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong
    • ?
    • theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal
    • oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,
    • A funeral, stop wearing so much black
    • I want to slap their bald heads like rice
    image

    originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

    Responses:

    • Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off…”
    • if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea
    • it was the best of times, it was the worst of times
    • Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.
    • priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-
    • when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft
    • lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking
    • Again. Too many black costumes
    • Loved this Dostoevsky novel
    • i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl
    • me on parties lol
    • “imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted”
    • “Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!”
    • Everyone act normal!
    • The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk
    • man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover
    • boys ???? night
    • the priest really shouldn’t have visited the insane asylum– closest
    • He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before
    • Something happens in a room.
    • Perks of being a wallflower
    • There’s always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna
    • Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here…
    • The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene
    • Quick!
    • the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.– also accurate
    • the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away
    • …I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission
    • Queers help fellow queer do math but it’s a struggle
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  • okay whoever took my opera screencaps captioning uquiz and used the nickname “idk shit about opera” and then proceeded to a) make me die laughing and b) actually get very close to the correct context a few times I love you and I hope you have a good day

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    A big part of every sissy’s journey I think 😊

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  • Does the Nancy Drew CW show not have subtitles on HBO Max?

    #hbo max#hbo#nancy drew#cw #cw nancy drew #nancy drew cw #roku#captions
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    Very happy birthday to the beautiful Victoria justice!

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  • مسألة صراع مع هذا الواقع الأليم لا غير صديقي …

    #writers on tumblr #poets on tumblr #writing#captions#mindsworld
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    “No no no, you aren’t going back to work anymore sweetheart. You’re much too little for all that stuff now. All those meetings you have to hold and sit through are a thing of the past. I know you’re use to being the big boss and giving orders, but that life is over now. As the new CEO and new Mommy, I’m here by terminating your employment. We just can’t hire little babies, no matter how cute they are!”

    “Awwww sorry honey, Mommy didn’t mean to make you sad. Here’s your binkie *pops* there that’s better right. Oh such a big hug from a little cutie. You must be in need of some cuddle time with Mommy. Isn’t dat right, sweetums? Okay just one more stop and then we can go home for lunch, cuddles and nap time.”

    “Some lady, Ms. Pandora, made you into a such a cute baby boy. As glad as I am about that, I’m sure she could take it a step further. Maybe she can make you a baby girl instead! Ohhh I’ve always wanted a little baby girl to dress up in all sorts of cute outfits and dresses! Awww don’t be scared honey, I’m sure she can make you feel all better as soon as we see her. Babies shouldn’t be thinking about much at all anyways!”

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