Hunter: *gets back to the ship with takeout to find the common areas all scattered with cat toys, gives an annoyed groan* Echo, did you scatter Omega’s toys around so you wouldn’t have to get up to check on her again? You know she’s supposed to keep them to the playroom-
Echo: *sitting on a couch while Omega plays with a colouring book on the floor and Echo is subjected to the horror of getting groomed by Fives. With tongue.* …I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m a little busy right now.
Hunter: …gross. When did Fives get here?
Echo: *looks bored* I’m the one getting my knobs licked at the moment, I don’t see why you have to complain about it. He got here before the mess started and after you left.
Hunter: :/ hmmm. Can we not call it that?
Echo: Sure. You volunteer to be his next grooming victim, and I won’t call it that again.
Hunter: Suddenly I’m okay with you calling it that.
For anyone wondering where Omega is in the catboy AU?? She got catgirl parts one day while snuggled up with Hunter in her sleep, woke up the next day with the urge to pounce on everyone on this goddamn ship. Hunter is her adopted daddy cause the war is over and she doesn’t have to stay on waterworld with evil momma anymore, and she got attached to the Bad Batch like normal. Only difference is that Echo is constantly dragging his dumb catboy twin Fives on board so they can have sibling time and Fives can teach Omega how to hunt (this is his personal goal, not a goal that anyone else on the ship supports) and now every day Hunter has to check under his bed for little blonde kittens so his toes don’t get mauled as soon as he steps down to start his day.
They once brought Omega to meet her big bro Boba, and the two of them just hissed at each other from their respective clone dad’s arms the whole time. Boba’s ears went so flat and Omega got spicy af about this. It was the most hilarious thing ever and Obi-Wan took a holovideo of it to show them when they get older. It was amazing.
and they were CATBOYS (oh my god they were catboys)
Kaoru Sakurayashiki absolutely detested his loud and obnoxious neighbor, Kojiro Nanjo. He was happy to live his entire life ignoring the man's existence (when possible) and yelling at him across the fence (when not). Unfortunately, when his pedigreed catboy, Langa, sneaks out of the house and comes face to face with Kojiro's mongrel catboy, Reki, their lives become more intertwined than Kaoru had ever imagined possible. Permanently.
OR - catboys Langa and Reki fall in love, despite how much their owners hate each other.
Additional Tags: Catboys & Catgirls, Alternate Universe - Catboys, Alternate Universe - no S, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Hasegawa Langa, Alpha Kyan Reki, no abo stuff for the humans (aka joe and cherry), Smut, Porn With Plot, omegas have vaginas, Alphas have dicks, Penis In Vagina Sex, goin' in raw, Breeding, Scent Marking, Ownership, Catboys are pets, Pregnancy, Mpreg, kaoru and kojiro are very good owners and love their cats so much, Fluff, Falling In Love, Love at First Sight, Hate at First Sight, this fic is a MESS, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Enemies to Friends to Lovers
Poorly describing my versions of the Gotham rogues:
Joker: “yolo” in its most dangerous form, def is writing a slow burn enemies to loves fic about him and Batman. Gay and homophobic 💯 The other rogues don’t invite him to pride celebrations anymore cause he’ll keep calling people slurs “as a joke”. Him and Edward have longterm beef, like schoolgirl levels of petty drama.
Harley Quinn: would describe herself as a “girlboss” unironically while committing heinous crimes. tweeted “clowns aren’t funny” after breaking up with Joker (ended up causing a huge scandal). The OG “I can fix him” girl. Is sort of the rogues free underground therapist (god knows they need it) cause they can’t get professional help without being sent to Arkham.
Poison Ivy: Breaking News: Cottagecore lesbian commits mass murder cause her plant wilted. She’s what republicans think environmentalists are. Would get in a fist fight with that vegan teacher cause “plants have feelings too”. Has beef with most of the male rogues, supports ‘kill all men’ without realizing it’s a joke (she prefers ‘kill all humans’ but figured she had to downgrade because the Gotham city sirens are humans technically).
Cat Woman: “OH NO! It appears I’ve gotten stuck backwards in the bank vault step-Bat 😏😏😏😏😏😏, looks like I’m not stealing any more diamonds today 😰😩”. Mad respect for Selina, she just wants diamonds and bat dick, no tragic backstory or complex motivations needed. I personally like to headcanon her as wearing a straight up cat costume (ears and a tail like a true furry) cause it’s way funnier to imagine a sophisticated rich woman dressing up as a cat to steal shit than whatever bullshit DCs up to these days. Trans catgirl supremacy 💎👍
Scarecrow: That one guy who gets angry at people because “Halloween costumes are meant to be scary 🤬😡😑😒”. Doesn’t even attempt to express emotions, is the human embodiement of this emoji: 😐. His presence is more jarring than threatening, his intimidation levels are somehow underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time. The other rogues have collectively decided that he’s asexual under no assumption other than that they don’t want to imagine Jonathan having sex. Overtime Jonathan has become basically fearless (he smokes his own fear gas like vape just to feel something). Jonathan and Harley became good friends when they both worked in Arkham, their dynamic is surprisingly wholesome.
The Riddler: Didn’t get hugged enough as a child and is now making it everyone’s problem. Would hold a bank hostage to show Batman his third grade spelling bee medal. Is the only autistic rogue that gets accommodations in Arkham because he won’t stop bugging the guards. FTM trans ofc (his names Edward Nygma for Christ's sake). He ran away from home at seventeen and faked his own death (his deadname is legally dead lmao). Uses the terms “alpha, beta, and omega male” unironically.
Two Face: “Yeah, I mean, I didn’t wanna blow up the orphanage either, but Y’know the coin said-” The other rogues talk to Harvey as if he’s constantly at his breaking point, which is half true. Harv is a stone cold mf, he’s the rock that’s holding Two Face together tbh. Edward calls Harvey and Harv Jekyll and Hyde cause he’s that original. All the rogues have at least a sneaking suspicion that Bruce Wayne is batman and use Harvey as their little primary source (being ex besties and everything), until they find out Selina and Bruce are a thing of course. No matter how much evidence he’s faced with Harvey will never accept Bruce Wayne is batmam, he’s not ready to consider that one of the only positive people in his life has been duking it out with him this whole time.
Penguin: He’s the rest of the rogues chill gay gangster uncle I don’t make the rules. The iceberg lounge is like the Batman villain equivalent of The Central Perk from friends (aka: its their default place to hangout). Oswald always makes a fuss about them not making reservations ahead of them but at this point it’s just performative. Everyone’s 99% sure Oswald and Edward fucked at some point (Edward always makes a show of flustering Oswald when he needs a loan). Ossie always takes care of the others belongings when they’re in Arkham (he has a special place in his heart for Jonathan‘s crows).
The Mad Hatter: I love Jervis lmao he just really likes Alice in Wonderland and that’s a valid ass villain motivation 👍. One of the smartest rogues but doesn’t get enough credit because of how childish he is. He dresses in kids clothes, not just because he wants to but because he’s small af and can’t fit in shit. In public while the rogues are undercover Jervis usually wears a beanie or a baseball cap (he’d get spotted instantly if he wore his usual, but on bad days Jervis can’t bear to be without a hat). Jonathan and Jervis play chess a lot together in Arkham, and frequently engage in intellectual discussion, Edward tends to be a piss baby when Jon encourages him to do the same, he’s not ready to accept the reality that Jervis can match his intelligence.
Killer Croc: Waylon has a surprising amount in common with Jonathan, they share southern solidarity. He doesn’t travel out of the sewer often so the rogues will occasionally come to visit Waylon there (Edward always makes sure to complain loudly about the smell). Will show immense affection and loyalty to anyone who treats him as human (poor guy just needs a friend ☹️).
Mr Freeze: Literally just dead inside, someone give this poor bastard a hug. Victor stands as the most awkward rogue, he‘s sorta like the odd one out. The other rogues don’t interact with him that often because he’s sort of a party pooper. He’s the straight friend on thin ice, haha get it. Mr Freeze is my sisters favorite Batman villain because she thought the ice puns were funny in Batman in Robin, little does she know I’m embarrassing myself on tumblr in her glory.
Music Meister: So many of the Gotham rogues have horrible childhood trauma and Music Meister is just like “people bullied me for being a theater kid 😩😭💔😔”. In all honesty he’s iconic, in my au universe thingy I have him join the dork squad latter on and he sticks out like a sore thumb for a bit. I feel like him and Jervis would really hit it off though (mind control buddies, ha), although Jervis would always get him to sing Alice in Wonderland songs. In Arkham they have him wear a dog collar thingy and zap him when he sings, he gets bullied for that lol.
anyways I’m sure I could make more of these, but it’s 2:20 am and my mind went blank. If y’all liked this I could always put more au headcanons out (I have A LOT)
List of professions most often assigned to bts members on ao3
ao3 jin: food critic, restauranteur, head chef, wise gay person/queer elder, embarrassing flamboyant old queen
ao3 namjoon: Christian Grey, CEO of Waystar Royco, sugar daddy, head alpha, biggest penis known to mankind
ao3 yoongi: this could truly go either way and it depends on whether he is being written as a top or a bottom. TOP YOONGI is a mob boss. BOTTOM YOONGI is a tsundere catgirl. GLOSS YOONGI is the most famous rapper in the entire world.
ao3 jimin: woman, slut, bitch, housewife, serial killer, serial murder victim, sex worker, omega, pregnant, petite, breedable, evil, angelic, stripper with a heart of gold, conniving diva, mistress, madonna, whore.... he said I’m every woman it’s all in me
ao3 taehyung: troubled and misunderstood visual artist, fashion model, cokehead, sex symbol, sex addict, 24/7 submissive, rebellious youngest prince
ao3 jungkook: brainless, illiterate, NEET, part-timer, student, jock, cruiser at the gym, god’s most pathetic little lamb, Greg from succession, discreet with a belly ring
#inspired by so many of u asking for versions of that jikook post with other members.... this is the gist of that