There’s No Cheese & Crackers in Prison, Katsuki || Bakugou Katsuki
Pairings: Bakugou x g/n!reader
A/N this has to be one of my favorite tiktok audios istg i laugh at every vid w this audio. also, if anybody catches the spongebob meme reference, ily
Genre: pure crack, i don’t think any other of my works can beat this
Notes/Warnings: unedited!! mentions of hiding a body, implications/mentions of death, katsuki just woke up n is confuzzled, reader is doing a joke on katsuki w a tiktok audio, reader is laying on katsuki, sleepy katsuki just goes along w it lmao, shoto might know how to hide a body (vʘ_ʘ)v
“katsuki! wake up, katsuki!” bleary red eyes appear to meet yours, eyelids slowing blinking open and shut to make sure that it was you that katsuki was hearing. not only that, but you had been standing above his head as if the rest of your body wasn’t flat laid out on his own.
“come one, katsuki, we’ve got to hide the body! there’s no cheese and crackers in prison, katsuki! who will they believe? a man, or his dog?”
at that, his eyes shoot wide open to form wide saucers. “say that again, it’s too dark in here.” what the fuck.
“they don’t allow dogs in jail, katsuki! they’ll put you down! now come on!”
“why would they— who— what the fuck?”
suddenly, his overly confused expression becomes too much for you and you burst into laughter, all the while katsuki stays laying in bed still trying to figure out what just happened.
“so where’s the body?”
“katsuki, it was a joke!”
katsuki sits up, eyes glazed over with his bed head hair stuck up in a daze. “but what if it isn’t? we can get that half-n-half to help us. i’m sure he knows how to hide a body.” katsuki grabs your shoulders with both hands, obviously lost in his own words and too out of it to even realize how absurd he sounds.
“why would todoroki know how to hide a body?” katsuki opens his mouth but says nothing before closing it. “katsuki?” he keeps eye contact with you. “katsuki.”
“he just knows, okay? we’ll go with that.”
“LIKE HELL, WE WILL. WHOSE BODY DID YOU HIDE?”
“DON’T ASK ME, ASK ICYHOT.”