Recipe by chocolate_soul
one of my exes overdosed on xanax and i just never saw him again
Kwanzan Cherry, c. 2017. Frederick Brosen watercolor over graphite on paper,
jhgfd god who wrote this
Ugh this man
Credit to me this time I'm not sure about this edit 🤷♀️...
fine line, track 6
aka to be so lonely’s sad sister
I'm in my bed
And you're not here
“you” and the bedroom: recurring theme ～ mmith, only angel, from the dining table
And there's no one to blame but the drink in my wandering hands
issue echoing through mmith, only angel ⟶ cause of what pushes them apart, or symptom?
hands are empty, reaching out for loved one
Forget what I said
It's not what I meant
And I can't take it back, I can't unpack the baggage you left
recurring theme: miscommunication, or lack of ～ sott, sweet creature, two ghosts, mmith
person needed a break, left - mmith
What am I now? What am I now?
echo of lights up: finding yourself is a struggle sometimes
What if I'm someone I don't want around?
self-hate. talking to himself: “you” has left and harry is left wondering what he’s become. blaming himself for the relationship issues
I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin’
happened before: problems with self ～ mmith, only angel
What if I'm down? What if I'm out?
being a weight in the relationship, losing himself to the point of no return, lost his way in his career
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?
needs validation, attention
“you” can be his person, or more general: the listener
You said you cared, and you missed me too
they’re in contact, talking: still trying to work things out
cared about their relationship? about harry?
And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you
we’re aware of it too
love is very much alive in this relationship: familiarity, honesty
And the coffee's out at the Beachwood Cafe
And it kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say
meet up to talk, but the talking goes slow. stubborn (～ sweet creature), hurt, (the other is) afraid to be open (～ golden)
the silence makes H uneasy, makes him despair, despite the fact that they’re there - from the dining table “comfortable silence is so overrated”
you’ve run out of things to say, but still you write all these songs? boys, talk.
And I get the feeling that you’ll never need me again
to feel wanted and needed; harry knows he needs the other person and is scared it’s one-sided
What am I now? What am I now?
What if you're someone I just want around?
variation: i just want you around and that’s what i know. i know that with more certainty than that i want myself around
Falling is the merging of the two main themes on the album, placed perfectly at the end of the first half. There is that same deep-rooted, familiar love, mixed with that search of self and a bunch of pain.
Harry is struggling, lost, and coping in negative ways. The alcohol made him say things to his partner that he doesn’t mean, and it’s caused a spiral into self-doubt. The themes and general atmosphere match songs like Meet Me in the Hallway and Only Angel, which also feature loneliness, the other in the relationship not talking or having left, terrible or no communication and bad coping mechanisms. In Falling, however, it’s finally made explicit that there is a deeper root to their problems, or at least from Harry’s side. Echoing Lights Up, he stops to ask himself what he’s become. There’s despair in the question, but also insecurity. ‘What if’ reigns; he doesn’t have the answers. His grief is pouring out of him, this is rock bottom. “I can’t unpack the baggage you left” could mean that the other person has left Harry with the clear message to figure his shit out and stop fucking around. Stop grabbing for the bottle, stop being dramatic, stop being petty and stubborn and look inward. So Harry crashed and is left to wonder who he is exactly.
A couple fighting and trying to work through their shit is love. The other person hasn’t abandoned Harry in his problems, they’re still there to meet up and talk and express that they care. They both miss each other. After their heavy fight, where the other left all that baggage, the conversation is stunted, but they’re still having it.
It’s a song written about the deepest of their struggle, a time where Harry was down deep, which strained the relationship. His cry, “and I get the feeling that you’ll never need me again,” is as much a real fear as unwarranted anxiety. It’s a feeling, fuelled by self-doubt, which can often cause a skewered view of reality, especially if it's about how someone else feels about you. And, in the midst of trying to find yourself, you’re sometimes so lost you don’t even know what’s real anymore. I think this is definitely a strong element in Falling. His feelings are very intense (“it kills me”) and Harry is just overall sad about everything. This sadness is warranted, because they’re going through very real struggles, and it’s intensified by his character, which has a flair for the dramatic and a knack for self-pitying (“i’m in my bed, and you’re not here” sounds like a sad baby to me). Harry even tells us that the other has given him confirmation that they care and miss him, and still his overthinking has thrown that aside, because oh no there are silences during their conversations. These silences could even mean that the other is being careful with their words, that they’re both being more considerate and calm.
The music video shows Harry with his drink at the piano (lying on his back on the stool at first, playing the opening notes with one hand like the dramatic baby he is), in a room full of details that probably carry a plethora of meaning unknown to us (a ship and fish painted on the piano, the shutters opening to show Paris, etc). He’s dressed in a beautiful lilac blouse, draped behind him like a cape, a skirt, or even a tail. Like in Lights Up and (almost) in Adore You, Harry is underwater, which is clearly one of his preferred ways to express sadness, escape (from himself, his reflection), and loneliness (ft. hs1’s album cover). When he’s entirely submerged, the blouse transforms and floats around him. He’s a mermaid, almost. And that, then, alludes to gender, which ties everything about this song and this album together perfectly: love and self-discovery, mainly in terms of gender. The beginning of the video is actually the end, with Harry drenched and panting. So, eventually, the water ebbs away again.
Just like the music video hints at a happy ending, the very last variation of the chorus leaves us with a feeling of hope. “What if you’re someone I just want around?” Harry doesn’t just need them, he wants them. And that’s all he knows for now.
Read my posts on golden, watermelon sugar, adore you, lights up and cherry here
✨CHARACTERS I SEE MYSELF IN✨
Adachi Kiyoshi from Cherry Magic! (2020)
Amemiya Hotaru from Hotaru No Hikari (2007 - 2012)
Choi Han Gyul from Coffee Prince (2007)
Teh Krittikorn from I Told Sunset About You (2020)
Frances Halladay from Frances Ha (2012)
Julie Steffans from Lady Bird (2017)
I was very kindly tagged by quan @ipytm 🥰 Thank you so much and I’m so sorry that it took me this long to make this set!🙏🏽 I tried but for whatever reason photoshop wasn’t cooperating with me so my gifs didn’t turn out as good as I wanted them to 😔
i’m gonna tag @geyikligece @loudspeakeer @michyeosseo @gorlpower @kchive @arinaviz and @yioh 💕 (no pressure but i’m nosy so i would love to know who you guys’ comfort characters are. it doesn’t have to be in gif form obviously!)
JiWon (Cherry Bullet) - Selcas
© Carina Klinger • April 2013 deviantArt • tumblr • instagram
Spends five hours straight working on this in the middle of the night instead of sleeping
A lot of flowers on the peach tree this year but april has been frickin' cold as heck and I haven't pollinated anything by hand so... will we get peaches? Nobody knows.
The japanese cherry blossom has just started blooming though!
more pics of my new zoro figure after being able to attach his sash in the back. he's so nicely detailed!