#clean jokes Tumblr posts

  • newbloggycat
    25.09.2021 - 10 hours ago

    Joke of the day - Slide

    Joke of the day – Slide

    “Don’t stair! Let me just slide off effortlessly!” www.pinterest.com

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  • scorbvnny
    24.09.2021 - 16 hours ago

    .

    #my dad is with his brother and is getting a big head i guess and making constant jabs at my mother #and it feels like the one fucking epsidoe of the office with michael and jan #except his brother and his wife also think its funny for some reason #and im like. where am i #at one point they started joking about how they tell their jokes no matter what #and my dad finished it with his brother's wife and my mom cleaning and saying its a woman's job and i was like ??? #and my mom and the wife laughed it off and i was like ?? #i just. im like what the fuck #i wish i was confrontational. fuck #'quit being a fucking asshole???'
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  • edrudiger
    24.09.2021 - 16 hours ago

    A Joke for Today

    The man credited with inventing the personal computer has died, due to a failure of his life support machine.

    His last words were, "Have you tried switching it off and on again?"

    #Joke for Today #clean jokes
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  • newbloggycat
    24.09.2021 - 1 day ago

    Joke of the day - Oscar

    Joke of the day – Oscar

    Oscar: Ostrich race car! https://www.gifer.com

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  • newbloggycat
    23.09.2021 - 2 days ago

    Joke of the day - Dumbo

    Joke of the day – Dumbo

    “For crying out cloud… it’s Dumbo, the flying elephant!” https://www.pinterest.com

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  • lemon-wedges
    23.09.2021 - 2 days ago
    I’ve been told I’m getting funnier
    #supernatural#dean winchester#castiel#Destiel#deancas #i wanted to do a comp of dean laughing at cas jokes but....i just do not have the time #u-u #i have a couple of them sketched out i just gotta clean so we'll see #if maybe i can get to them lkater #the art of a lemon wedge
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  • ohgodohfuckidontknow
    23.09.2021 - 2 days ago

    i have to read 4 more books of platos republic democracy is a farce

    #literally he was just making shit up #anyways my laundry is done now I have clean clothes yay #just thinking abt things! #this is a joke btw
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  • dr-whoopsie-daisy
    22.09.2021 - 2 days ago

    Trying to read in my bedroom bc baby is napping. Dad gets home and blasts tv in the master bedroom.

    I take my stuff to the front porch to read. 20 minutes later. Mom brings awake baby to porch in stroller. Then dad comes out to sit. Then my sister drives up. I am no longer reading.

    I know I said I wanted the chill vibes of a capybara but also? Would like to finish book.

    Ngl the amount of times my family has just gathered to chill in my bedroom is probably too high. Like one at a time until everyone is in here.

    #that joke about why to clean your room for when company comes to visit? #doesn't apply to me bc they will absolutely end up in my room chilling and chatting for a little while #we have two living rooms and yet
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  • sangreluxuria
    22.09.2021 - 2 days ago

    honestly really focusing on nik’s wardrobe today & i think out of all his siblings, he dresses the most comfortably 

    #googling what does your fashion say about you as a person #now i just think he genuinely does not care for himself #like. clothing wise. #he just does whatever & works with it #& he barely even buttons his shirts right 💀 #pov ur reputation is a murder hybrid but ur wardrobe is built like a college student’s #i mean go u i guess #MINNIE SPEAKS    ...    OOC. #but that definitely says something #how elijah & rebekah are so clean cut #& the one time i’ve seen him wear suits were in fancy occasions #embarrassing .... #/ joke
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  • newbloggycat
    22.09.2021 - 3 days ago

    Joke of the day - peTddler

    Joke of the day – peTddler

    “I’m a hug dealer!” https://www.pinterest.com

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  • edrudiger
    21.09.2021 - 3 days ago

    A Joke for Today

    A young pastor was sitting in a restaurant eating lunch. He opened a letter he’d just received that morning from his mom. As he opened it a twenty-dollar bill fell out. He thought to himself, Thanks, Mom, I sure needed that right now.

    As he finished his meal, he noticed a beggar outside on the sidewalk leaning against the light post. Thinking that the poor man could probably use the twenty dollars more than he, he crossed out the names on the envelope and wrote across the top in large letters, PERSEVERE!

    So as not to make a scene, he put the envelope under his arm and dropped it as he walked past the man. The man picked it up and read the message and smiled. The next day, as the pastor enjoyed his meal, the same man tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a big wad of bills. Surprised, the young pastor asked him what that was for. The man replied, “This is your half of the winnings. Persevere came in first in the fourth race at the track yesterday and paid thirty to one.” 

    #Joke for Today #clean jokes
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  • newbloggycat
    21.09.2021 - 4 days ago

    Joke of the day - Row

    Joke of the day – Row

    “Row, row, row your goat, gently down the stream…” https://www.pinterest.com

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  • boyimtrash
    20.09.2021 - 4 days ago
    #anyways how are yall #i legit have to go clean up this vomit and i do not want to #the ✨smell✨ #i legit woke my mom up last night having to tell her. i didn't make it to my trash can so yeehaw #i got most of it up but i gotta get the rest. boy its been a wacky 16 hours #ANYWAYS i am so fucking tired and its just not gonna end. my grandpa and his racist wife will be here tomorrow so fuck yeah boiii #yall im tired. like this is a fuckin joke (i wish) also my skin itches all the time and high frequency I think im allergic to one of the #medicines keeping me alive #i need to buy cleaning supplies and batteries. dont know why i just didn't do it when i left the house 😭🤧 #also my heart doctor is super nice and she's lovely and is an angel uwu #ok imma go clean up my vomit #✌️✌️✌️
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  • protectbrowngirls
    20.09.2021 - 4 days ago

    Inside you are two wolves

    One follows @desi-culture-is to laugh at the relatability of it all, especially the trauma

    One is kind of really concerned about how much relatable trauma gets posted to @desi-culture-is and wants to make 18492 support posts any time a @desi-culture-is post crosses their dash

    You are the PBG mod

    #shoutout to desicultureis though #great blog run by great mods #one of the few desi tumblrs that I actually enjoy following #mod posts#joke post#humor #I’ve got like 7 different posts in the works but it’ll be another few days before I can clean any of them up to post
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  • cognacdelights
    19.09.2021 - 5 days ago

    .

    #my parents have just walked through the door and have already ruined my week #it has been approximately 35 seconds #how are they gonna about at me for not cleaning the stuff that they’ve BROUGHT BACK HOME WITH THEM #this is a joke #delete later
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  • swordbiter
    19.09.2021 - 6 days ago

    ive always hated those edits people make of like. guts with a beard. ive never seen one that made me think hed look good with one.

    #king of keeping a clean shave even in the middle of his rage depression revenge quest #johnny.txt #wait wait i have a joke to make with thsi
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  • newbloggycat
    19.09.2021 - 6 days ago

    Joke of the day - PROMpt

    Joke of the day – PROMpt

    “Life’s a catwalk! Be PROMinent! https://www.pinterest.com

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  • rotten-games
    19.09.2021 - 6 days ago
    #sin bin#coi game#ros #deimos is the type of guy who makes dirty jokes but is not a regular sex haver #he isn't sleazy about it but also he certainly doesn't have a soapy clean mouth
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  • edrudiger
    18.09.2021 - 6 days ago

    A Joke for Today

    It was three o'clock in the morning, and the receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off, when a little old lady came running towards her, screaming. "Please come quickly," she yelled, "I just saw a naked man outside my window!" The receptionist immediately rushed up to the old lady's room. "Where is he?" asked the receptionist.

    "He's over there," replied the little old lady, pointing to an apartment building opposite the hotel. The receptionist looked over and could see a man with no shirt on, moving around his apartment. "It's probably a man who's getting ready to go to bed," she said reassuringly. "And how do you know he's naked, you can only see him from the waist up?"

    "The dresser, honey!" screamed the old lady. "Try standing on the dresser!"

    #Joke for Today #clean jokes
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  • beartrappcd
    18.09.2021 - 6 days ago

    tag dump 3

    #✖️. the snowball queen; ( JESSICA. ) #✖️. easy there cowboy; ( MATT. ) #✖️. i’m not anybody’s man; ( EMILY. ) #✖️. daring duo; ( SAM. ) #✖️. squirrelly little runt; ( JOSH. ) #✖️. stay with me; ( ASHLEY. ) #✖️. i got your back; ( CHRIS. ) #✖️. put the blame on me; ( BETH. ) #✖️. crush much; ( HANNAH. ) #✖️. we were just messing around; ( THE INCIDENT. ) #v. god damn how the mighty will fall; ( THE INCIDENT. ) #v: i try but i can’t clean up this mess i made; ( INTERMISSION. ) #v: my regrets look just like texts i shouldn’t send; ( MAIN. ) #v: creepiest place on planet earth; ( UNTIL DAWN. ) #v: life’s a joke & i’m the funny type; ( RESOLUTION. ) #v: what’s it feel like to be a ghost; ( SOLE SURVIVOR. ) #tag dump #v: young and dumb as hell; ( PRE INCIDENT. ) #v: i keep the glass half full & the whisky bottle empty; ( NEW REALITY. )
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