Sparkles are hard to get pictures of, but just know I'm rose gold glittery boy
my last thinspo did so good omgg
260 was my total cal count today on a liquid fast, i’m passed at myself bc i had hot chocolate which made it sooo much more. though i almost binged and didn’t, which makes me happier. going to water fast for the last two days<3 wish me luck:)
TW// Domestic Violence
Okay so I need some advice. My dad (step but has been in my life since I was like 1) sometimes hits my mom when they fight (he hasn’t hit me). I know it’s obviously abuse but I don’t think he sees it that way. He always makes excuses as to why he does it. Like she was yelling at him or she instigated it and other bs. He always says that he has flaws and he’s not perfect but then goes on to blame the other person and play the victim. Recently he got angry at me because I jumped when he grabbed my shoulder. To him I was acting like I’ve been abused and it pissed him off. He said that it was unfair to him that I judge him based off what he does to my mom and not how he treats me. He says that since he’s always treated me like a Queen (bullshit) that I should respect him(why should I respect the guy that abuses my mom??) and I shouldn’t be afraid of him and I was the one in the wrong because I’m scared he might hit me one day. Am I in the wrong for it?? I’m pretty sure he’s just being manipulative and playing the victim and trying to make me feel bad for him but I can’t help but doubt myself. I need some other opinions please!!
took pics of some of my stuff, i’ve lost a lot between moving multiple times and other things but i’m still happy with what i have ^^
I’m so confused. I follow hundreds of ED blogs and tag and my feed still show posts from this morning. It’s almost midnight. Wtfffff
This is a series! Masterlist here!
For this series, the more graphic flashbacks to things that happened in each of the rescues’ lives will be separate as their own chapters so people who don’t want to read those can skip them and still get the Recovery Plotline. I hope to manage this!
TW: Institutionalized slavery, Box boy whump, pet whump, violence, breaking bones, dislocation- not described, torture, abuse, blood, shock collar, dehumanization.
WRU, Facility One
771213 rose to his feet when the Handlers entered the room he’d been told to wait in. He stood by the wall in the relative dark of the shadows, out of the circle of light from overhead.
“We brought you something, Seven-seven,” said Handler Wells as she held the door.
Handler Carson, his Primary, dragged a struggling, kicking Trainee into the room. The boy was pale in the single overhead light, a freckled redhead whose skin was dappled with dark bruising. He swore and spat like an angry cat, wrenching against Carson’s grip and trying to land punches.
“You know what happens to naughty Trainees, don’t you, 656422?” Carson murmured into the boy’s ear. “Our Dog here needs some practice, and you? You keep fighting us. You do so like to fight. So here’s your chance to do what you like doing. We’re gonna give you what you want, Six-five-six.” Carson removed the trembling boy’s collar, and shoved him into the stark light.
The Trainee staggered forward, recovering his balance and clutching at his throat. He rounded on the Handlers. “No!! I’m not gonna be your entertainment, you bastards!” His snarling had a note of fear in it now, though. They only took your collar when they were going to really hurt you. Collars were safe. He could see, at the edge of the shadows, what he’d been brought here for.
The huge figure stepped forward into the light, towering over the Trainee. He was heavily muscled, broad shouldered, twice the Trainee’s weight, and his face held no pity at all.
“Seven-seven?” said Carson’s voice. “Take him down.”
“Handler- No! Please-!!” The Trainee barely had time to cry out before the Guard Dog lunged, and a kick to his midriff sent him crashing into the wall and slumping over, breathless, ribs trying to drag in air that wouldn’t come.
“He’s still conscious, Seven-seven,” Carson pointed out.
The Trainee could barely shove himself off the wall in a bid to escape those harsh hands but it was no use. A grip like iron clamped down on his arm and a fist slammed into his back, once, twice. The Trainee sucked in a ragged breath and tried to flail with his free arm but it was caught by the wrist. An abrupt pressure there wrenched the Trainee to his knees. “Aagh!! Please! St- stop!”
For a moment the Guard Dog paused, glancing into the dark at the Handlers.
“You’re not here to be merciful, Seven-seven!” snapped Carson.
The Trainee stared up at the man standing over him, gripping his wrist implacably. “You’re hurting me- Please- Please, no more!”
Hard blue eyes looked down at him, unreadable, and then the Guard Dog wrenched that slender arm so sharply that something snapped. The Trainee shrieked, crumpling to the floor.
Then he was being lifted by the hair, and a knee collided with his face in an explosion of stars inside his head, blood gouting instantly from his broken nose. What felt like a hammer blow between his shoulderblades slammed him facedown into the floor again.
The Trainee lay there, pleading through his own blood. “I won’ fight-! I won’ fight ‘nymore! Stop! Please!!”
“Finish the job, Guard Dog,” came Carson’s voice.
The Trainee was rolled over with a boot to his ribs, then lifted by the stained front of his ruined shirt, until he could almost stand if his legs could still have held him. He met those cold eyes again. “P- Please!!” he sobbed, desperate but hopeless.
Something flickered in the Guard Dog’s face, but he cracked a backhand across the Trainee’s face that split his bloodied upper lip deeply open on one side. The Trainee slumped in his grip, unconscious at last.
Then 771213 cradled the Trainee’s head as he lowered the small body almost gently to the floor. His fingers left dark traces of the boy’s own blood in that curling red hair. He stood upright again, looking to his Handlers.
Carson stalked forward. “What the hell was that, 771213?”
“Sir, I- AUGH!!” The Guard Dog dropped to his knees as his shock collar hit him with a blast of fire down his spine. A sharp blow from the Handler’s baton cracked across the back of his bowed head.
“You hesitated! Was his pathetic whining pretty? Did you get distracted? Did you forget what you are??”
The words were punctuated with more blows rained on his head and shoulders. The Guard Dog kept his head down, taking the punishment. He had hesitated. That was against his training. “I’m sorry, Sir-“
“No,” growled Carson. “But you will be! And when that one’s nose is set and his dislocated wrist is healed, you’re going to do this again, and do it right! You hear me?” He snagged the Guard Dog’s sandy hair with one hand, wrenching his head sharply upward.
“Yes, Sir. I hear you, Sir,” said 771213 obediently. “I will follow my orders, Sir.”
“Next time, you will,” Carson nodded, and pressed the shock collar remote again, and again, watching the Guard Dog scream on the floor.
To be continued
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I don’t know if anyone else feels this, but being fucked up can feel so comforting
Eeeeyyy just finished a 2 day fast and I'm BACK ON TRACK BBY 🙏✌😬
Still fat but I'm making progress I think
I miss being able to see my collarbones🥺😩
Body check. I’m always just holding my collar bones it’s so comforting
youve come so far, dont give up now. just a little longer. push yourself more. put down the food. drink more water. im proud of you. see how much control you have compared to others? see how you can skip meals without question? keep going. youll reach your goal
🌲 🌲 🌲 🌲 🌲
So apparently on top of being terrified of gaining weight I also have sensory issues, how fun!
No but seriously, I haven’t eaten properly in over 2 months and my weight keeps declining
Love the weight loss, hate the texture problems and fear of food tho