#communication Tumblr posts

  • I’m slowly finding myself tired of L’s crap.

    Like I don’t really want to reach out to her and ask her to elaborate on how she is doing.

    You’d think if she wanted to, she would’ve started doing it herself by now. We’ve know each other almost 14 years now and I feel like I’m just at the beginning all over again, but also not.

    I feel like I am not as important to her as I once was, when I first moved out here.

    Then again, she is one to say she doesn’t technically NEED anyone. Which is bullshit. We all need people.

    December 20th, I still remember the date because I had to remember the date growing up to hold on to any hope that someone cared about me.

    I was about to say wow I am really fucked up, but then I paused and realized, no, I was in a really fucked up situation. Progress. Self compassion.

    Anyway, December 20th was the first time I stayed after school with L. Orchestra people were out of classes the second part of the day to prepare for and then play holiday (mostly Christmas) music for the school. We had been listening to SantaLand Diaries by David Sedaris in L’s class, but I had to miss the ending that day because of my orchestra stuff. At the end of the day I went to L’s classroom. I remember my English teacher from the previous year came into the classroom with a super long (to the floor) Santa hat. L didn’t ask me to leave so they could talk. I felt included, and I started to feel like I mattered.

    L’s birthday is near Christmas. I remember hearing a teacher across the hall the following school year say Happy Birthday to L. I asked L later in the day if she had had a good day. I remember asking if anything special had happened. She said it was a normal day. I called her out and said no it was her birthday and I made her a card.

    Earlier in December she had told me that at her place she didn’t have room for a Christmas tree and that she hadn’t had one for several years. She also told me she had a paper fireplace for that time of year.

    So, I stayed up late the night of the day before winter break and made her a beautiful paper Christmas tree. I had her class first period and always joined her in her classroom before then. She went to the bathroom or to make copies or something and I put the Christmas tree up in front of her computer screen. She was delighted when she saw it. I specifically remember her saying, “You didn’t have to do this.” And I replied, “I wanted to.”

    Idk why I felt the need to write out those stories. Maybe because it shows how important we were to each other? Even before we became friends?

    It just makes me sad.

    I AM a good friend!

    She makes me feel like I am not a good friend, sometimes like I’m not a good person.

    But then she says things like, “You are your purpose,” to try to encourage me.

    So I matter to her, just not in the same way I did?

    Idk. I just don’t fucking know.

    And after 14 years, I am tired of trying to read her fucking mind.

    And I am too afraid to say that shit to her because I am so afraid our friendship will end.

    She seems to be the only person that I can’t be like, well if she isn’t my friend, that is her loss.

    Because if I didn’t have her I would be at a major loss.

    She was a mom to me when my own mom was abusing me.

    Why the fuck is this still bothering me?

    The thought of her not being my friend makes me feel like all my muscles are made of cement.

    But I have been learning that there are people that do just talk things out when something is wrong. They communicate.

    I guess I ask myself, L is smart, why won’t she communicate?

    It is not my fucking job to help her do that. It is her job to fucking do that.

    Late night sad ramblings I guess.

    View Full
  • I feel like this definitely needs to be talk about in every household or whom ever you feel comfortable talking to about it. This toxicity need to be broken for the future generations. It’s not just fathers. It can also be mother, grandparents, or any family members or friends or your partner. COMMUNICATION IS SO IMPORTANT AT THE END OF THE DAY.

    View Full
  • “The simple truth is that happy marriages are based on a deep friendship.”

    • الحقيقة البسيطة هي أن الزواج السعيد يعتمد على صداقة عميقة

    — Dr John Gottman | The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

    View Full
  • I had my new grad vet (who is not really a new grad any more, she is a big, tough, grown up vet but still likes to pretend there are training wheels on the bike) listen to me talking on the phone the other day. I had a particularly irate client, who in our view was irrational, who I had to handle on the phone. And while it ended reasonably, there are tricks and phrases I’ve picked up from watching other clinicians, and I urge vetlings to watch other vets and learn their techniques for dealing with irate clients.

    Identify the Problem

    The first thing to do when dealing with any upset or angry client is to identify the problem, and keep in mind people don’t always tell you up front what their issue actually is. Money, or anxiety over money, is a common concern. Others might be more worried about giving tablets, or where the pet can stay while they’re away, or any number of things. If you can identify the problem, and offer possible solutions, that might soothe the client’s worries and let you do your job.

    Most people lashing out are not fundamental buttburgers. Mostly they are afraid of something. If you can soothe the fear, you’re doing well.

    Keep reading

    View Full
  • View Full
  • I don’t remember how and where i got the recommendation for this book from, but it was in my TBR pile. I think maybe i was browsing in Sheila Heti’s bibliography after enjoying her “Motherhood” piece (which i gave my opinion on previously) and got intrigued by the synopsis. That kind with random questions about weird stuff. It definitely drew me in. It’s The Chairs Are Where The People Go by Sheila Heti and Misha Glouberman.

    image

    It looks like Sheila didn’t have anymore to deliver and it happens that she is friends with an interesting quirky person who has something to say. This Misha guy whom i’ve never heard of is supposed to be a communication guru. An opinionated music/theater/something teacher who loves working with people of all work fields and interests, studying and teaching communication skills through improvised sounds and theater with emphasis on the importance of audience involvement and charades.

    The book is made with more or less short chapters or rather essays about issues, lessons and epiphanies Misha encountered and learned about throughout his life, from his Harvard days, to his neighborhood committy membership, to his work as an improv teacher.

    This was too random and all over the place for me and quite a quick read. Some things were interesting and thought provoking, others were boring and unrelatable. I’m sorry but it felt like it was written only for the sake of writing. 5/10

    image
    image
    View Full
  • things to do in dubai

    Top things to do in Dubai, researched information on hotels, food, main attractions to must, means of communication to travel in the city, get detailed information on travelmagma.

    View Full
  • Déplacements urbains

    Réalisation d’une courte vidéo sur les modalités de déplacements en milieu urbain. 

    Keep reading

    View Full
  • Teacher mode is in full swing:

    Today’s goal: Grace and courtesy and affirmations

    I’m introducing “I will” and “I am” statements.

    View Full
  • Me and my boss, watching a trainer roasting a co-worker in an interview situation:

    image

    My other co-worker who’s laughing until he realizes he’s up next:

    image
    View Full
  • Rules for dating me:

    1. Don’t be a hoe

    2. Occasional date nights are fun

    3. Be loyal

    4. Communicate and argue effectively

    5. Let me touch the butt

    6. Don’t put another man’s penis inside your body

    View Full
  • Hirokawa & Gouran’s Functional Perspective on Group Decision Making

    By Nicole Frances Yapo, BA Comm II ☽

    As a Communication student, one central, essential part of our studies include group tasks and projects. Hence, teamwork and unity are two important keys in order to achieve success with our endeavors.

    For instance, our documentary during freshman year was a huge success — we were able to attain outstanding results because our group was able to incorporate ideas altogether, making sure to analyze our planned topic which was proper waste disposal.

    During our group meeting, we were able to establish goals and propose possible solutions with regards to our chosen problem. Irresponsible garbage disposal is an underlying issue in our society, thus, our group decided to gather information around Batac and Laoag’s dumpsites to dig deeper and collect relevant data.

    After the planning stage, we divided our group into two teams — one assigned in Batac Public Market, while the other one in Laoag’s Dumpsite. We scheduled our shoot and proceeded as planned. We interviewed individuals in charge of waste management, and asked vendors if they knew of the 3R’s (Reduce, Reuse, Recycle).

    After our tiring but productive shoot, we compiled and edited our video. It was our finals week and there were numerous schoolworks piled up and yet to be finished, but with time management and cooperation, I was able to finish editing the video, with the help of another teammate.

    With a huge relief, our Professor was impressed with our final output and gave us uno (A) as a final grade.

    Randy Hirokawa and Dennis Gouran’s Functional Perspective on Group Decision Making states that group interactions have a positive effect on final decisions. The term “functional perspective” is used to describe and predict performance when certain criteria for communication functions are attained.

    According to the theory, the requirements below must be fulfilled in order to achieve an effective decision:

    • Analysis of the problem

    Goal setting

    Identification of alternatives

    Assessment of positive and negative attributes

    With the experience I shared, our group was able to evaluate the problem firsthand and encompass our ideas altogether; construct criteria and propose solutions; provide options in the event of needing one; and evaluate the relative merits of each alternative — which therefore resulted to the triumph of our project. Yes, there were a few disagreements here and there, but we knew we had to settle each of these bumps in order to truly achieve harmony and success.

    View Full
  • Be clear in your communication, and tell the truth. There will always be people who take offense at things that aren’t offensive. Don’t be a slave to those people. Show love, be polite, tell the truth, and don’t take responsibility for how someone else responds. Do all you can to live at peace with people. But you can’t force someone to happily accept your boundaries. 

    View Full
  • Friendly tip for communicating with your autistic (and other neurodiverse) friends; dont ask open ended questions!

    When you ask me “where do you want to go for lunch”, my brain begins to compile a list of ALL the possible places we COULD go, which is like… hundreds of options. I then have to weigh mental pro’s and cons and access all the data I have on those places. Answering your question will take up significant amounts of my mental energy, and if I dont get overwhelmed immediately I will take FOREVER to answer because it’s a BIG question. It might also lead me to ask you a million data modifiers such as - how far are you comfortable traveling, what amount of money would you like to spend, sit down or take out, fancy or fast, are there any foods you cannot eat, etc. A question like that is EXHAUSTING, so much so that it can induce fear and paralysis and then I cannot answer at all!


    Instead of an open ended question - try something more specific. “Would you rather have lunch at X, or Y?” - this will give me a clear response path. I only have to weigh data for two outcomes- and it answers some of those modifiers I mentioned before because I can infer data about what kind of lunch you’re looking to have based upon what options you gave me so that even if I dont like one of those two options I can easily find something comparable.


    🖤 just some advice friendo’s!

    View Full
  • If I wink at my man twice, it means it’s time to leave.

    #get you a guy that understands you #relationships#dating#love#communication
    View Full