It’s not always easy having 7 hours of travel between us… but we couldn’t be happier. Well unless we lived near by each other maybe.
I see him once a month. We try to plan for long weekends… when we can. Our schedules don’t always match. And we alternate who goes where. I’ve been really lucky lately and have seen him every three weeks. But that will slow down now that the holidays are over.
We make it work. Keys to our relationship:
1.) Communicating daily. Especially with kind words and encouragement.
2.) Making unconditional time for each other (FaceTime, gaming), especially when the other person needs a pick me up
3.) Sending gift boxes and cards every so often. This means getting a goodie birthdays, Christmas, any holiday, … typically I send something once a month.
4.) And fully committing to each other when we have time together. No distractions!
I never wanted a long distance relationship. It is so nice to have your honey close and accessible. But I’m so happy and grateful for him that it just happens to work. One day, when our relationship progresses further, we will move closer together. But it is hard to say who will go where as we both have very great jobs.
And, honestly, there are some benefits to it all!
1.) Me time. I can do whatever I want whenever I want and I don’t have to worry about seeing someone all the time.
2.) Our time together is more special, cherished, and meaningful.
3.) I go on vacation once a month. (We are planning to explore United States cities with our future weekends! Hello Seattle!)
4.) We are both given space to grow ourselves, but we still have the comfort and support of each other. THIS IS HUGE. We have already come so far from where we met. And we are still growing. We both have improvements we want to make in our lives. And distance gives us the ability to focus on ourselves and to stimulate growth. While commitment gives us someone to pick us up when we fall and to encourage us.
I’m excited for one day when we are fully together. But the system we have honestly works wells for us. We have so much happiness and like for each other. And I can’t wait to see where this year and the future takes us. ❤️
idk who needs to hear this but… if you are stressed out about something, you need to tell someone. is your job stressing you out? tell your manager about any problems and see if there is a way to make things easier. if your manager refuses to find a solution to the problem, maybe it would be better to find a new job. are you stressed about a relationship? sit down with the friend/family member/partner and clearly communicate what is stressing you without being confrontational. when we talk about the things that are stressing us out, it gives others a chance to help us find solutions, and most of the time we will at least feel like a little bit of the weight has been lifted off our shoulders. you shouldn’t have to carry that weight by yourself.
Aftercare is more than physically making sure your boy is ok.
Especially for men, the step to submission is hard, because our society teaches men they’re to be in charge, man up, all that.
As an alpha who’s not into degrading or humiliating her boys, but rather care for them and spoil them (always with a good amount of tease, of course), I have seen some of them feeling really bad afterwards, however much they loved the session while it was going on.
The mental aftercare is the main part. Reassure your boy you don’t regard him as less than before he let go and gave in. On the contrary! I have the greatest respect for a man who trusts me enough to show me his vulnerability, who whimpers from desire when I push back his hands, stopping him from touching me or himself, while I continue teasing him. My heart swells when his body shutters and his breath comes in gasps, on the brink of losing himself, begging me for more. The most beautiful thing is when they almost cry, maybe even shed a tear, because the longing is so immense, and he loves what I do so much he can’t control himself anymore. THESE ARE THE MOMENTS that can make your boy feel utterly ashamed, uncomfortable, unwell afterwards. Take his feelings seriously. Don’t treat him like a child when he feels down and doubts himself, but let him know how utterly beautiful it was to you and thank him for his trust sincerely.
Every domme should be aware of it being a great honour if her sub shows this amount of trust. If you manage to show him your respect and make him see he’s still a man, still strong in your eyes, he’ll treat you like a queen. That’s the real submission.
BDSM is about the mind in the first place. Sex is only the second. And without communication, trust, and bold honesty, we’re going nowhere.
I see way too little posts about the beauty and mental importance of aftercare on the net.
Oh and on a side note: aftercare is not necessarily just the hour or so after sex. It can go on for days, especially with new subs. It’s not only hugging him and asking if he’s alright, caring for possible marks and running him a bath. It is the sms the next day, asking if he’s ok. It’s a call, making sure he’s doing alright. It’s asking him if there’s anything he’d like to be different the next time or if he’s got any questions. It’s telling him exactly how you felt during the session. How his cock felt in your whatever. Why you liked it. And let him know you’re looking forward to spoiling him again and more.
My son has struggled some with pre-k, namely I think it’s that his birthday was right after the cut off and he’s the oldest, he already knows his letters and numbers for the most part and he’s just not challenged. He’s constantly getting little write ups because he rolled his eyes, was wrestling with the other boys, will correct the teacher or other adult when he thinks they are wrong…. in other words, we get reports 2-3 times a week on little behavioral issues. At this point, I can’t even take them seriously.
Is he beating people up? Taking someone’s lunch? Making fun of people? No? Then cut me some slack here.
Yesterday, he wanted to dress up and wear a shirt and I tie. Fine. We get this report in his backpack -
I merely said to him, babe, you can’t wear a tie if you are going to play with it. It’s disruptive love. He said ok. End of story.
Today I get a text from my husband. The complaint? That Jamis was ‘licking’ his applesauce out of his cup. What. The. Flip. Who gives a good turd? He’s a 5 y/o boy. Be glad he isn’t farting on you and flipping buggers at you. He’s eating a healthy snack, he isn’t slinging it all over the place, he just didn’t have a spoon. Can we not make a big deal out of every single thing he does?
Yes I’m protective of him. Take up for him. Real talk though? I think they are being ridiculous and absurd. I believe his teacher is focusing too much on this piddly crap and not on keeping the kids busy, and I’m approaching the irritated portion of the school year.
He’s not mean. He’s not unhealthy. He’s not aggressive. He comes to school on time. He is fed, dressed, as presentable as I can get him at 6:30 in the morning and I need someone, somewhere, to have something positive to say about my kid.
Is it unreasonable to assume a teacher can handle an eyeroll? A 5 year old telling them they are wrong? Control the situation in a way that the parents don’t have to get a negative comment in his folder every single day? Yes, I want him to have manners. Be respectful. Listen, for Pete’s sake. Yes we are trying so hard, have corrected, encouraged, limited tv, blah blah blah, but I really want to know how the other kids are performing. Is everyone perfect and he’s acting out? Is he disruptive to the class and no one can learn?
Let’s be a little less politically correct and just call a spade a spade. He’s a boy and he’s 5. I’m not saying boys can have atrocious behavior and it’s ok because of their gender, or that 5 year olds can act a fool all day everyday, I’m saying he’s a healthy, energetic kid, playing with other kids. Let’s all calm down xx