Thanks to everyone for the well wishes after last week’s email.
In light of it, I shot a special video just for you (run time <6:00):
Aside from just wanting to say thanks on video in addition to written form, I also wanted to touch on a wildly misunderstood topic in self-help and personal development:
Knowledge is NOT power.
Something else, is. And I cover it in the video.
I hope you’re having…
5 affirmations for today:
If you can’t learn to be alone and okay with yourself when it’s needed you must heal from whatever broke you.
You need to learn to be alone in situations and okay with yourself, before you can be with someone.
Simply because you don’t need to tell yourself “I hate being alone.” Or “I can’t stand being alone, I need someone.”
Try “I love being by myself and I don’t need anyone.” In order to conquer loving yourself, feeling independence, and confidence you can make a decision for yourself.
Normalize being okay with yourself first and everything else is just a bonus.
-Jewels1995
A letter, to 20 year old me,
I rewatched the movie last night and as much as I hate to admit it, it really got to me, to the point of crying. Why? Well simple really - it was a line from a movie that really got to me. I’ll quote it for you: ‘my whole life, I always based my value in myself off of what other people thought of me. I completely lost sight of who I was. And then I met you, and I told you everything about me. I told you all of my secrets, and you didn’t leave, even though you knew all of goofiness, and my weirdness and all of my fears and my insecurities, you didn’t leave. And I didn’t know anything about you. But it didn’t matter because I knew your heart. You made me believe that I could be loved just by being myself. You made me believe that the only way to be loved was by being myself and that is amazing’.
Emma was confessing her love for Jack in an unconventional way in that scene on the plane headed to Chicago. I wasn’t picturing myself and some boy who distracts me from my assignments on occasion, I imagines I was talking to myself, expressing my undying love for myself regardless how self absorbed it may mean. But no amount of convincing could make me believe that I still have not accepted the love I should carry for myself, towards myself. 100 girls could scream at me through TikTok videos encouraging me to love myself but the fact is the we have all fallen succumb to the power of society. Let me show you how I have:
1: I started a TikTok creators account on the 27th January 2021 and I vouched to myself that I wouldn’t post my face or anything that could reveal my identity until I reached 5000 followers. Why? Because I don’t want people to judge me. I couldn’t even get myself to let my closest friends know about it because my previous choice in friends has made me believe that they could be talking in whispers behind my back. @sally_studys if you want to show some love.
2. I dedicated part of the first lockdown towards my Instagram account reaching a larger audience until I began collaborating with brands and promoting. A person I’d gotten to know from uni had said to me ‘it’s so easy for girls to get famous, they just have to look pretty’. It was a backhanded compliment at best but one that caused me to delete the account starting a new one with very limited people on it and not a single post.
I know some of you relate to either of these examples I’ve laid out. Seeking validation from others is not a habit that you can just break out of. And I’m not going to be a hypocrite and preach self-love when I’m not following the advise myself. But I want to start taking small steps to feeling comfortable in my own skin, as you should be doing too. The opinions of other should no loom over your head with each passing day. So grab a wine glass and let’s cheer to another stepping stone.
In a years time on my 20th birthday when I read this again, I want to be dancing in the streets of London while the rain pours down on me.
~ Sally
Peace…
Be at peace . Removing prejudices from your life is a great way to start on the road to peace. Practice gratitude regularly. A grateful heart leads to peace and contentment…
How To Date A Girl Out Of Your League
The following advice is important and has always worked for me. Good luck, gents!
In the romantic gamble of dating, you must have come across this idiomatic phrase – ‘way out of your league’. The phrase in the simplest of dating terms means that the girl whom you badly want to date or had Cupid’s luck to make your girlfriend is someone who is more accomplished, a stronger individual, more loved…
Negativity is the killer of everything good.
Don’t do that to people.
Don’t ruin the good times in your life.
Stay positive! It will change your life!!
Have a great weekend!
❤❤❤
How do you become confident? I’m literally so insecure.. people can tell and I try to fakeit but still it doesn’t work. I need to at least look confident, any tips?
Background info: I was abused as a kid/am a woc in a racist country so these things def shaped me.
But I don’t want people to look at me and be able to read me. I want to look secure.