#coping Tumblr posts

  • Warning!!!! This is a product of sensitive matter! I was having a bad night last night and decided to write a small excerpt as a way to get it out. Nothing too sensitive is relayed in this excerpt but I still want to put a warning for those of you who are highly sensitive to these kinds of things. Enjoy!!💕💕

    “Where’d she go?”


    “Away…”


    “Where’s away?”


    “Just away…”


    “But-“


    She breaks, spinning on her heels, tumbling to her knees as she shakes the child’s shoulders, screaming.


    “SHE GONE DON’T YOU GET IT?!? ZIP ZOOM BAM POOF GONE!! SHE LEFT US!!! SHE LEFT US TO ROT GODDAMMIT WHAT DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT?!?”


    The small one can only stare, watching as the grown’s shoulders fall, tears trailing with them.


    “She left…okay? And-and you’re not gonna know where she went for the longest time…”


    She sits. The snow crumbling beneath her as she turns her back on the child, folding in on herself. Hugging her knees she mutters.


    “For so long…everything you’re gonna know is just a lie…and when you find out everything you’re…I just…I wish I could remember more.”


    The child rests beside her, nestled in her coat as she crosses her legs. She gazes to the eldest.


    “I wish I could remember what happened before…if everything was happy and glad when I woke up…what we talked about at breakfast…but all I remember is the stupid plato and the-the fucking GLOWSTICK!”


    She slams her hands in the snow, cheeks reddened from the brisk but also anger. Her bottom lip quivers and she stares into the cold blanket beneath her. Watching her breath fade into nothing.




    “What do I feel…when I’m older?”


    She’s taken aback. What does she feel?


    “We…we feel…everything…”


    “Everything?”


    “Everything…”


    “That’s a lot.”


    A simple laugh, running her hands through her hair, she gazes to the younger.


    “It is…isn’t it?”

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  • The problem with living from party to party is– that you no longer feel alive in the in-between.

    w.s.w. // week(end)

    #whensilencewrites #w.s.w. #my own#poem#poetry #writers on tumblr #poets on tumblr #excerpt from a book i'll never write #quote#spilled ink#words#alt lit#literature#aesthetic#drunk#alcohol#party#coping
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  • Hope

    I feel that I have come a long way since my first diagnosis of schizophrenia more than 30 years ago. I’ve known that my life has been not normal for many years, but the last 10 years have been the conscious years for me. What I mean is that many years went by not fully understanding my life, I felt like I was in a constant state of turmoil trying to live a normal life, but my life was anything but normal struggling with mental problems. Then 2010 was hospitalized again and diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar disorder, from this point of time until now I’ve been able to start putting my life in some sort of order which is contributing too my recovery. I’ve gained knowledge about my mental health issues and have learned better copping skills, along with medication treatment and a better understanding of myself. I have a lot of memories of symptoms that I experienced over time, but I feel that I have finally overcome my past experiences with my illness and am living a relatively good life. It has been one hell of a journey, but so grateful I made it.

    I

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  • Hi! My name is Jamequa Harmon. On October 3, 2019 I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Due to my sickness I had to take a leave of absence from work, give up my apartment and move in with my dad so that I could start outpatient treatment. After starting treatment I was denied disability from work which meant I haven’t been able to receive any type of income and eventually my insurance policy was cancelled. Not having insurance or any income coming in became frustrating for me because I couldn’t receive the proper support during my time of need. It was hard asking different family members and friends for me and my son basic needs. Even though others thought I was living a normal life because I had a car, my own place and a decent job I wasn’t. I was struggling daily trying to understand why I wasn’t sleeping, eating, didn’t want to get out of bed, always feeling sad and helpless and even wanting to spend time with my son. After speaking with a psychiatrist I found out what I was experiencing was signs of depression and that was the moment when i said enough is enough and I went to seek professional help. I never thought seeking professional help would set me back, but I’m just glad to still be alive to share my story with others who my battle with depression and other mental health illnesses. 

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  • *TRIGGER WARNING*

    I had been told all my life how dumb and ugly I was.  Mom had 8 husbands and about that many girlfriends. I got beat up a lot at home for whatever reason, I was late 2 minutes, I didn’t eat my dinner, there was snow on the ground.   Whatever reason, didn’t matter.  From the time I was 16, I had been on and off drugs and homeless because my mom couldn’t take care of me and my older sister.  My older sister finally joined the Job Corps, but I drifted.  I started doing heroin, and it made me emotionally numb enough that I could be alright with the world.  I didn’t hurt so bad.  I was 45, divorced, kids living with their dad and I was homeless.  I was also dying.

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  • *Trigger Warning* My Life

    I’m 24 but I’ve gone thru too much. Well I was 292 days clean of self-harm. I was doing so well. But I’ve been in this relationship with this guy who was my best friend. We got together on the wrong terms. I thought look my first serious boyfriend. But he was planning on using me for sex. We got closer too quickly. And he fell hard for me.

    We dated 3years and 11 months. He was never there for me when I needed him. He always had excuses for everything. And it sucks because the times we got to see each other was very rare and we always ended it in a fight. He changed so many times throughout the relationship.

    I overthink everything. When we first started dating I was very suicidal I attempted to kill myself 2 times. Both times he was nowhere to be found.

    This past summer we had a huge fight in july. His problem was he would go away about 3 total months every year. sometimes he would tell me he was going on vacation other times he would not. 90% of the time he wouldn’t talk to me when he went away. and I always felt like he was either cheating not telling me the truth about something or he just didn’t want to be around me.

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  • im so disgusting and miserable. i cant believe myself. how could i even do that? why? was it better to be honest? did i make the right choice? or should i have lied? it was her last days of her life. did she deserve to know the truth? or did she deserve to be loved back? did she read the text? did it speed her passing due to sadness? did she care? did she think about me anymore? did she talk about me? what did she say? who hates me now because i did not love her back in her last days? all her friends? her? her mother? her father?

    #vent#guilt #dealing with death #coping with death #coping with grief #coping #coping with guilt
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  • i KNOW its dumb and selfish but i was close to her! did i not deserve a text from her mother after her passing so i knew directly from the source? did i deserve to hear about it via someone who barely knew her saying “did you hear?” did i deserve to learn after all them? all the people who barely knew her? i knew her. i knew she loved to paint. i knew she loved crystals. i knew she practiced witchcraft. i knew she collected furbies. i knew she loved video games. i knew she loved chickens. i knew her favorite colors were blue and purple. they didnt know that did they? so why did all the people who barely knew her get to know she passed before i did? why?

    #coping #dealing with death #coping with grief #death #coping with death
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  • not fair not fair not fair not fair not fair not fair!!!!!!!!!

    its not fair!!!!!!!

    who gets to decide it had to be HER?

    why couldnt it be someone else?

    who wasnt so kind?

    who wasnt so young?

    who wasnt so smart?

    why her?

    #vent #dealing with death #coping
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  • do something to shock your senses, for example holding an icecube in your hand or have a warhead. even take a cold shower. anything that shocks you

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  • I’m an Asian, from Malaysia. But unlike typical Asian, I’m actually less Asian and more western. This partly due to my upbringing in overseas during my adolescent years.

    In Malaysia, people here do aware of mental health but they don’t know how to relate to one.

    In 2004, I had this very strange (and new) ‘mood’. Didn’t know what it was back then, but I knew that was something very, very wrong with my mind.

    Few years later, I was given a long diagnosis: “Type II Bipolar Maniac-Depression with Borderline Personality Disorder”. Can’t really remember the actual naming but I think I got all the right keywords there: Bipolar II and Borderline Personality.

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  • I feel like a failure. 

    I’m sitting here, near my family, studying for an upcoming medical school licensing exam, and I feel like a failure. 

    I graduated high school as valedictorian. I was automatically accepted to my choice university. I only made to B’s in college, and graduated Summa Cum Laude in 7 semesters with a 3.93 GPA. I made a 512 on the MCAT when I took it a year early, without even haven taken biochemistry. I was accepted early into my top choice medical school. I have made nearly all A’s in medical school, and now I am studying for STEP1. 

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  • To those parents who think your child or teen is suffering from something that doesn’t seem like typical depression please have a Psychiatrist evaluate them . My son Spencer aged 14 then became suddenly depressed Spring of 2018 and despite therapy, Outward Bound that summer didn’t improve and became even worse once 9th grade started. He was ok in the morning and around 1030/1100 he was in his counselor’s office emotionally spent and weepy. His pediatrician (big mistake!) Put him on Prozac 10mg. He became very hypomanic and then would crash later feeling more depressed than before he started taking it. After a week she upped his dose to 40mg instead of 20mg and by 3rd week began to have suicidal thoughts with a plan.

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  • And re; problematic media being bad for kids?

    I have violent ideation and anger problems thanks to childhood abuse. I have a quick temper, but I’ve learned how to cope with it. I walk away and calm down, then continue and explain what happened. It’s still not ideal, bit any violence I enact is upon my own body. That’s NOW though.

    As a kid, I had to smile and be happy or Bad Things Happened. No negative emotions allowed. The one reprieve I was allowed was to become nothing, ie disassociate and allow everyone to forget I exist.

    My first violent ideation was at 9. As she was screaming at me that she owned me and I could never escape, I imagined pushing her down the stairs and having her head crack open. I was terrified and started to cry at the thought, which made the screaming and abuse worse.

    This holiday season, the entire family is coming at me with how I make moms life hell and I should have been aborted. I’m coping through a rediscovered interest in Invader ZIM, same way I coped as a teen. By drawing and imagining the little green alien violently ripping his controllers and users to shreds, and showing no remorse.

    Someday, I’ll disappear into my new name and never see these people again. I bet you ANYTHING my violent ideations will practically cease. Until then, I need this to cope. And even after I don’t I will always enjoy the idea of ZIM getting his freedom through force, doing what I never could as a child.

    I would not be here today if I didn’t have things like ZIM to disappear into. And this isn’t even MENTIONING my biggest coping character, Starscream, who I see as taking his abuse and people calling him a monster and turning it around to absolutely own it.

    He’s the reason I survive 10 years of my life.

    #bonesy bitches#coping #child abuse tw
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  • Hello,

    My name is Michael. I am 48 year’s old. Not untill 8 months ago did I finally learn I had BPD & Bipolar 1. I’m now on medication. Growing up I always new there just wasn’t something quite right with me. The anger. The depression. The sabotaging. I went to prison 4 separate times from the ages 18 to 34. Every crime I committed was done purposely and I then would call the cops on my own self. The longest I was incarcerated was for 12 year’s. I sabotaged my whole life over and over and I never knew why. I’ve been married now for 14 year’s. And I have a 12 year old son. Although I haven’t broken the law I still struggle with the sabotaging. Today for no apparent reason I literally walked off my job with no warning and quit. It was a good job working in a chemical plant. Good money. Good people. I was a dock loader where I loaded containers with a forklift. I went out and found another job that pays $3.50 less an hour today that I will start Wednesday. Does that make any sense at all?! No way it doesn’t. Just straight crazy if you ask me. But I’m not giving up. I have to work. I just wish I could provide more. This post is to say that I need greater help than I’m getting. Medications doesn’t help 100%. And in this part of South Texas there’s nothing for me such as support groups. If someone is reading this please contact me. Thank you.

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