I kind of needed to take a break from posting anything, but I might start up againâŠ.
A few weeks ago, I talked to A, and we talked about how he didnât text me back for a month (which used to be a really big deal for me, but now I donât really care as much). Anyways, he apologized and told me that heâs working on it, and that he wants to do better. And that was nice to hear.
But then he told me that several times every day, he thinks to himself âpick up the phone and text L. Pick up the phone and text L. Pick up the phone and text Lâ and he just canât do it. And that made me cry, because I thought for years that he just forgets about me when we donât talk, and that he never thinks of me, but I was wrong. He does think of me, he just also has an undiagnosed problem (maybe depression, maybe something else) that prevents him from acting on it.
Anyways, since then weâve talked every week, and I can feel the effort heâs putting in to maintaining that.
Yesterday, we made plans to talk tonight, and he told me âthereâs something Iâm excited to share with you, and get your thoughts onâ
And Iâm extremely intriguedâŠâŠ what could it possibly be??
4i love you so, so much but i know iâll never have the courage to tell you that
5Ok but the scene where Marrinette tries to sit next to Adrien on the plane but itâs Luz and Amity
19Small Talks
One time at 6PM, we would always watch a random movies together with my classmates. He sat at the back left corner of the room with our friends, I was on the middle back.
I remember feeling his eyes look at me whenever I look away and if I look back at him, he would look away too.
Not later than 15 minutes he sat beside me and we talked about random things, pretending to watch the movie. I remember seeing him smile even though itâs too dark, I can see his eyes sparkle while he talked to me. I was happy that night, I wonder if he noticed the change of mood that he brought the moment he sat beside me.
Was he interested in me that moment? Was he trying to say something or was he sending me messages that I didnât noticed? Does he like me back that day? Lol I have no idea.
5Piano Wire
Look at the skyscrapers,
after the first rain,
theyâre always such a beautiful blue.
Reflections of an autumn sky.
Itâs been a year now.
How many hours
have I spent
being just a woman in an office?
Just like all those offices.
Staring up and looking out
each window as I clean.
The crows have started to piano the wires.
The radio sings your new song.
It sounds like jokes about the cold
and stories of the plane ride
Sometimes I hate this city.
A look at youâŠ
In âbusiness clothesâ
Now that could be refreshing.
I swear.
It might be the only thing
that could wake me up.
5Midnight Rant
So, I am going to a new school and not even one day into going into it I see this person and instantly get a crush on them. This event has made me realize that I find all androgynous people cute. And I want to get to know them, but I am too shy to talk to them. Why must I suffer so?
5Dijiste que nadie escribirĂa sobre ti, pero desde que te conocĂ no he dejado de hacerlo.
N-readerâ€
5Date cuenta que hiciste mierda a una persona que lo Ășnico que hizo mal, fue quererte
22Fuck I knew you didnât really feel anything for me but I still went for it
A g a i n .
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