Guess it doesn’t matter what I say, or what I seem. You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans
-Gregory and the Hawk, “A Wish”
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Songs for when you’re so in love that you feel like you’re floating on air as you dance around your bedroom.
0Un día alguien le arrebato su sonrisa, desde entonces mi única meta es regresarla a él, pero nunca he sido suficiente para poder lograrlo, pero no importa, siempre seguiré intentándolo.
0my feelings when I see my crush
“When I see your face there is not a thing that I would change because you’re amazing just the way you are”-Bruno Mars
“And when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while cuz girl you’re amazing just the way you are” -Bruno Mars
1I HATE THIS
I hate this. I hate this situation I am. I tell a joke, and it actually is taken as a pickup line.
Okay, I understand. I feel terrible, and I apologize profusely. Not what I intended at all. Seriously. Guy accepts my apology and we laugh it off. Everything is good again…
Or so I thought.
Team coach talks to me when it is 15 minutes before we officially close. Asks me how things are going with this guy. I tell her we are just friends, and nothing is going on. Even though I have a crush on him, I am not pursuing him for the fact that he has a girlfriend. I am not one of those ladies who will go after men who are already taken. That’s not cool.
Tell her that I had actually been talking about trying to hang out with him and another one of my coworkers outside of work sometime. Then I find out that she had actually talked to this guy before, and that she thinks he has no interest of doing that. AT ALL. I understand what she said, but he didn’t say that to me. That is just what she thinks. Her OPINION.
Then she starts telling me how I have made this guy uncomfortable and awkward at times. This information is new. It has blind-sided me. My world stops. I totally did not see that coming.
I did not mean to make him feel that way. I was just telling him jokes at work. Trying to make friends. I don’t have that many, so making new friends is like an impossible thing for me. Cue social anxiety kicking in.
The guy and the other coworker come back, see me crying a little bit, and things get more awkward. Higher-up leaves, and the guy comes over, and he is actually a little miffed at our team coach. He had told her that he was going to talk to me. That the way she had put it was not the way he wanted to tell me at all. I asked him why didn’t he just tell me the moment I made him uncomfortable? I could have at least known what I did to make him uncomfortable, and I could have made sure that I didn’t do it again. But at this point, I don’t know what it was. I am confused, and honestly, hurt.
He told me we would talk after our shift officially ended… but we never did. He left, knowing I was still crying, and we never talked. So now I don’t what to do. I just want to hide in my shell again, the one that I was hiding in before I thought I was okay with being who I am.
At this point, I am just done. I have to come to conclusion, that until we actually talk about this and what happened, that I will avoid any interaction that is not necessary. I hate making other people uncomfortable, and I have done just that. Really hating myself right now. Great.
Hooray for social anxiety, lack of social interactions, and depression.
0Don’t look at him
He’ll stare at you
It’ll feel like he’s taking in every part of your face
Memorizing it
Don’t look at him
Don’t bat your eyelashes and smile
Don’t show him your eyes and the beauty mark on your lip
Don’t let him see the way your hair falls on your face
Or how you bite your cheek everytime you want to smile
It’ll feel like all he sees is you
But what if he’s just staring into space
And you came in the way
3the sixth margarita makes me think –
I wonder if you taste of strawberry and peachesdim restaurant light catches your hair
bleached blonde, pony-tailed, tugged through the neck of your sweatshirtyour favorite food is mac and cheese
and you’ve hiked a trail I walk only in my dreamsbefore you leave, I tell you I’m queer
as if my buzz cut and winged eyeliner were not proofyour husky hug keeps me awake for days
maybe you will photograph us as we climb mountains.(T. // landay for ladies)
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Choose the heart that sparks a memory in you. It has your letter.
This reading is timeless. You are meant to see it right now. 🌹
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I was just talking to someone about how most people develop crushes instantly based on just looks. There are others, like myself, who sure get that the person is in fact attractive but don’t actually develop a crush till we have gotten to know more about that person (read a few pages about them). That’s the point where my crushes emerge from. Beyond the cover of a book. From like page 50.
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