I live to serve. I am not human. I am a sad servant without value. I am only here to help others. I am not a person, I am a facilitator, a mentor, a nurturer but never anything but a giver. I am not designed to receive anything especially love. I am not a person. I am here to serve. No different than an automobile. No everlasting value, just temporary help. The sooner I make peace with that, the quicker I can get things done and die. Death has been the only clear cut destination. My final resting place, where I can lay my head down and just be me. No one can or will ever love me. I will only teach people how to love so that they can love someone else. I am a servant of love, but love will never serve me in return.
reading the vampire chronicles at midnight in the darkness of my room, under a blanket, drinking ramen like it’s tea, as i listen to the black parade and a disgruntled cat snores at my bedside
i am stretching across both of these one-person recliners, and i will feel no shame.