GOOD MORNIBG BITCHESSSSS
GOOD MORNIBG BITCHESSSSS
literally 2 followers away from 400 y’all jfc
sex mention I’m literally so in love with you like fuck. I’ve spent so much of my life feeling like my only value is in sex and you... you make me not even want it in the best way possible. Around you I feel like I’m worth something good, inherently. When I tell you I think I could give up sex, I mean only for you. Only for you.
i was joking, at first. wishing and hoping that you meant more than you let on. “Man I know you want to love and to be loved. I know I would never be able to understand your deep philosophy of love.” “no not that.” “I already know the last component.” “fuck you think it is.” “You’re talking to it.” so you knew. and you still know. that i love you. what do we do now? nothing will ever change. no amount of wishing and hoping ever changed anything. and, my dear, you’re living proof of it. i wished for so long that maybe, maybe you’d understand. you’d feel what i felt. but that’s wrong, too... isn’t it?
i can't fucking believe you really did that. i thought we could work through this but you didn't even want to try, or even care. i still love you, as much as it hurts to know you don't feel the same. did you ever? how long were you lying to me? you didn't even want to talk about it, you just changed the topic and hardly acknowledged it. you said you want to be friends, but i know you'd ghost me if you could and if i wasn't so clingy. i bet ill see you with your "friend" next week. i was so damn vulnerable with you and you knew it. you used me. people keep telling me you're manipulative, and im not sure if they're wrong. you don't know nearly as much about me as you think you do because you never bothered learning. did you get bored of me? i still care about you and i hate it. almost as much as i hate myself for letting myself trust you and get close to you. i know that if you wanted to, you could get me to forget. i don't want this to become a cycle, but at the same time, i don't feel complete without you.
Frankie I trusted you. You said you wouldn't leave and you'd wait and you'd make sure I got out of this house. You promised, and I fucking trusted you and I was even shocked when I saw for myself that you had left like you promised you wouldn't have. I'm trapped now. This is probably the only thing that's allowing me to speak my mind freely but I don't think I'm ever going to get out of here and im bitter with you about it. I do love you though. I have a playlist full of songs that make me think of you and that's keeping me pretty sane. Forever hits differently now. I wish I could talk to you more but if you could see me you'd understand how bad that would be for me. I miss you. I miss you so much you don't even understand. I'm still having dreams about you and I still say that proves just how special you are to me. I wish there was a way for me to be with you, I wish I had just told you to take me back to your house and said screw getting my things. I wish I was all yours again. I want to be yours, please just remember that ok. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do this ever again, but I just need you to know I love you, ok Frankie?
tw: relapse hey. thanks for helping me relapse and for my worst panic attack i've had yet. fuck you. you should fucking know better this. and it's not the first time. please leave me the fuck alone if all you're gonna do is make me feel like human garbage. fuck you.
you’re so cruel. i don’t know what else to say to you, not even in this imaginary letter you’ll never see. you’ve outdone yourself for the last time. i’m serious when i say not to come back this time. because holy shit, i’m out of excuses. i don’t even know how to take the fall for this one. it feels like i do everything right with you, but one way or another i’m still the big bad. i won’t let you make me disrespect myself another time. you can rot in your hypocrisy next time you miss me. half the truth is a whole lie, lili. and the truth will come out someday. and by the way, i’m done burying this, i’m done hiding from it—you’re the only one left playing your funny little game, because i’m not letting it have any control over me anymore. i’m facing the enemies you put in front of me—after first guaranteeing that i’d never do it to you, by asking—head first, and if the truth turns them against you, that’s not on me. i was going to leave you be. you reached out to me. i’d love to hear the stupid little fairytale you’re spinning to make yourself the victim in all of this, but i have better things to do. bring it on. please do. i asked one thing of you, to leave me alone, if you were just going to walk out again. and you couldn’t hold to that promise. so why should i hold to mine?
can we please put a content warning on that that fucked me up so bad for a second please
why do i feel so shit when i learn that you’re currently on call with them
Me to my dog: you smell like doritos, where did you get doritos
(she didn't get doritos bc she isn't allowed to have cheese (for the sake of not stinking the hell out of my room) I'm just poking fun)
i do not!! want to choose!!!!! i do not want to feel like i have to choose!!!!!!! im a fucking mess!!!!!!!! and i hate myself!!!!!!!!!!!
i wish i was able to keep all of the text between us. but, i'm kind of glad i lost some of them. i was too much of an asshole to properly answer you, i left you on read so much, i turned you down more than once. i couldn't, i can't, talk to you properly without feeling like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. i did, i do, like you. i'm happy that you are here, and i'm happy that you are able to get the medical attention you need. i liked you when we first met, as well.
not only were you the first, but there are so many things i'll always connect back to you. i can't watch any star wars movie without thinking about you, i can't listen to fucking p!atd without thinking about you and how you fucked those girls over. fuck you. i can't go into the economics room, without looking at your chair. without thinking about the last time i saw you, without thinking about how much i miss you and how much i want to see you again. i don't know what to do.
you know, when we met, i never thought that i'd be writing sad little messages on tumblr to you. not that there's anything wrong with that, but, i just thought that when i met you in 2016, i'd be over you by now. i guess not. it's not as if you haven't given me ample reason to be over you (you fucked up so many people, and i will always hate you for that), it's the fact that you were the first. you know, whenever i think about love, i'll always compare it back to you.
I hate to be that petty of a person, but isn't that interesting? When I express to you that I don't enjoy being made fun of, even when it's a joke, you never remember my boundaries and retaliate by telling me I take it too personally. Yet, now that someone else is causing you to be in my situation, you're finding yourself in shambles. The offending party is encouraging others to join in, just like you do with my closest friends who would normally never do that. That annoys the shit out of me. It almost seems as if...you are currently experiencing how I feel. Now. Isn't. That. Interesting?
im a shit person im sorry :((
You really just asked me what happened? YOU. YOU FUCKING HAPPENED. I was in love with you. You broke my heart and moved on and I am still in love with you two years later. I *completely humiliated* when we were there and you didn't even care. You didn't fucking notice. You didn't care enough to tell me you were with someone else and now you're happy and settled with her and I'm not even close to anything like that and it hurts. It hurts so much, you have no idea. And I can't tell you because I don't want to hurt you. I want you back so much. Please.
I almost called you last night. Shit hit the fan and I almost made some really bad decisions. I wanted to call you. But I didn't, clearly. That would have been even worse because lord knows you wouldn't have picked up.