Guys please tell me that it's impossible to kin both Dazai and Shinji
Guys please tell me that it's impossible to kin both Dazai and Shinji
Funfact: I enjoy writing cursed fanfic so have whatever the fuck this is✨
Dazai ran from the police , carrying the 30 bottles of extra creamy whipped cream he stole from Walmart. The agency was still very far away, and the police were closing in. He looked up at the buildings, trying to find an escape route when a voice yelled “STOP RIGHT THERE THEIF”.
Dazai turned around and saw the sexiest motherfucker he’d ever seen. The detective had short brown hair with grey and white streaks, probably from stress. He was wearing a long trenchcoat on his shoulders like his ex husband mafia partner had. The detective held up a badge, revealing his name was Almond cookie. Dazai couldn’t help but enjoy the detective’s deep raspy voice insulted him.
He dropped the cans of whipped cream and started fuckboy lip biting at Almond cookie.
“Heeeeyyyyyy you’re sexy wanna fuck ;)))” Dazai asked
“Sure because you are sexy toooo” Almond cookie replied, lip biting back.
Then they made love behind a dumpster
DAZAI AND CHUUYA FANART by devache1
Same energy, different universes
Should I post my mini-fic (the one I posted about earlier) completely on Tumblr or nah? I'm not expecting it to be longer than 15 parts but no shorter then 10.
with a reader who's on their period
characters: Dazai Osamu, Chūya Nakahara, Ryūnosuke Akutagawa, Fyodor Dostoevsky
despite knowing quite many women, DAZAI has very little experience regarding periods
when you start crying because of your cramps, he just feels helpless
while he does know how much gunshot and stab wounds hurt, he simply can't relate to period pain
thinks cuddles can solve all problems
but will notice sooner or later that they can't outright stop excruciating pain
even though it does relax you a little when he's spooning you, one hand splayed out on your lower abdomen to gently massage the pain away
also, hot water bottles and heating pads are his go-to remedy
lots of blankets for maximum comfort!!
all of those - cuddles, massages, hot water bottles and blankets - are actually very helpful <3
please do tell him if he's doing well!! his efforts will quadruple, he's happy to help for once
if you snap at him, he knows it's only because of your hormones, don't worry
but please don't say anything actually hurtful to him :(
snarl at him because he doesn't understand the pain you have to go through every month? no problem, that's understandable. try to pick a fight with him becasue of how unfair it is that he's a guy and you're not? sure.
but don't tell him he's too distant or yell at him for being a burden with his constant suicide attempts :(
if that happens, he's actually hurt and will definitely try to keep his distance
if you cry easily because of your hormones, he's constantly trying his best to comfort you and cheer you up
will mess with Kunikida even more than usual to make you smile 👍🏻
Kunikida now dreads your period every month
congrats he's traumatised
“You're right, it really is unfair that you need to go through this every month, love. Wanna come here and cuddle again? Tell me if you need some new heating pads or snacks, I'll get them for you. Just focus on relaxing your muscles a little, alright? Hm, maybe running you a hot bath would help.”
CHŪYA first notices you're getting your period during a date you're on
you're both on a walk in the park, him walking just a little slower than you, as he suddenly notices blood slowly dripping down your legs and staining the back of your pants/skirt
for a moment, he panics
thinks you've been stabbed or something 😨😨
then, realisation hits him
HELP the topic makes him all flustered 😭
he quickly shrugs his coat off to wrap it around your waist and cover the stain
then, when you're both back home, the cramps set in and you curl up on the couch, crying, he's shocked
periods are this painful???? you go through that every month?? impossible
he absolutely babies you
the second you tell him a hot bath eases the pain, the water's already running
you only need to open your mouth and he's at your side with hot water bottles, pain killers and all kinds of snacks he knows you like
will also ask Kōyō if there's more he can do to help, even though he's blushing while questioning her
snapping at him for no reason, however, is something you should refrain from
his mood will go from confused to irritated to outright angry in the span of seconds
he's got a short temper
won't hesitate to pick a fight with you, even while you're on your period, and will raise his voice at you
his anger vanishes the second you start crying
he suddenly feels extremely guilty 🥺🥺
will probably cry as well
if it's someone else who makes you cry, though, he'll make sure that they won't dare to approach you again
“What? No, love, I didn't mean to make you cry, I promise-, I know I shouldn't have yelled at you, I'm sorry, alright? Look, I bought this herbal tea Kōyō recommended to me. It's supposed to ease cramps. Let's try that out, yeah?”
it takes AKUTAGAWA some time until he realises that, oh, you're not just doubling over in pain because you're an overdramatic whimp, but you've got your period
his brain just short-circuits.
he's got a sister, so he at least kind of knows how periods work and that they can be extremely painful
has to physically hold back from telling you to suck it up
Gin would probably stab him if he said anything like that to you
the first time he sees you sobbing while clutching your stomach, he's shocked, despite Gin and Higuchi telling him how much periods suck
his attitude changes quite instantly
suddenly he's supportive and overly concerned
will definitely buy whatever you might need himself, at any time of the day
you run out of tampons or pads at night? he's on his way to the store immediately
he might be a little embarrassed by having to shop in the women's isle, but he's also very determined to take his task as seriously as possible
help he's crying internally when women stare at him 😭😭
he can't even blame them, he probably does look weird while trying to choose a brand of tampons
please just give him incredibly specific instructions
if you don't, he most likely ends up buying everything in each size
will walk through a crowded space with Rashōmon holding bags of chocolate, tampons and heating pads up
luckily, no one dares to comment on it
he won't initiate physical contact himself, but will begrudgingly hug and cuddle you if you ask him to!!
also.... please please don't get mad at him :((
he's genuinely trying his absolute best
“I've bought you more of, uh-, of the female hygiene products you've asked for. Higuchi also told me to give you these pralines. I don't get how sweets are supposed to help, but I don't really care either. What? You want me to hold you? Well-, fine, I guess. I do have the rest of the day off.”
honestly, FYODOR has no experience in dealing with periods
though he of course knows why they happen
but only in, like, a biological theoretical sense
therefore he's a little surprised when your face suddenly pales and you let out an almost inaudible pained whimper
and even though you had just rested peacefully next to him, watching him tip-tap something into his keyboard through half-lidded eyes, you're now clutching at your stomach while stumbling to the bathroom
his surprise only lasts for a second before realisation dawns on him
will let you deal with it on your own, except for if he knows you're prone to fainting
then, he's following you to the bathroom, asking if you're alright
HONESTLY, it's unusual for him to care this much
you better cherish those moments 🤧🤧
if you try to inflict a different kind of pain on yourself that's supposed to distract you from the period cramps - yeah, he's not having it
you bet he's always going to check just how hot those hot water bottles of yours are
might take it away from you if he deems it too hot 💔
he won't allow you to permanently scar your pretty body
will offer you more pain killers instead
at which point does one overdose again?? 🤨🤨
you just have to trust that he kept track of the pills you're taking
otherwise, he's not much more attentive than usual
instead of going to the store himself, he just orders his subordinates to get you the things you need
snacks, tampons, heating pads - whatever it is, you're getting it
if you beg him long enough, he might indulge you with some cuddles
he's not a total jerk, after all
it's over the moment you dare snap or raise your voice at him, though
while he usually thinks of your fights and the way you get all angry as kind of amusing, he can't help but be annoyed at way you're yelling at him for being too emotionally distant now
he most likely just leaves while saying that you're welcome to apologise once you're done throwing a tantrum
won't change his mind until you've apologised for your childish behaviour, even if you're crying and sobbing because of your hormones
sadly that's just the way he is
you knew what you were getting into
if you do end up apologising though, he's surprisingly quick to accept it
will shush you and say it's not your fault for having emotional outbursts as a woman
there's definitely something misogynistic there but we're not ready to unpack that yet
his change in behaviour is quite drastic
now that you've told him you're sorry, he actually babies you a little
if only to reinforce the thought that asking for his forgiveness is a good thing
he once more allows you to sit on his lap and cradles you against his chest, slowly massaging your lower abdomen while you try to relax
the tiny sounds you let out as he digs the edge of his palm into your pelvis to loosen your muscles are actual music to his ears
after being caught off-guard by your cramps one time, he's done his research on how to properly help you ease the pain
if only to reward you when you've been obedient
“Hm, does that feel good, dear? Oh, there's no need to thank me. Surely you know I enjoy making you feel good. Besides, your period really is painful, hm? Of course I'll try to make you feel better.”
notes: i'm suffering because of my period and this is self-indulgent to comfort me 💔 💔 if you're currently suffering as well, i hope this comforts you, too. ALSO HELP WHY DO FYODOR'S PARTS ALWAYS GET SO MUCH LONGER THAN THE OTHERS 🤧
With only a few days left till halloween...an event sounds like a great idea doesn't it? Welcome to the hospital's Halloween festival...did you bring your candy basket?
...Trick or Treat!
By choosing TRICK you go to my ask box and you can pre-book a seasonal request, such as Christmas. When the season rolls around you will get a 500 word story relating to the event you choose.
Example: “Heyyy! I chose Trick. Can I pre-book a Valentine's day story in which the reader gives Chuya some roses and chocolates? Maybe she can drop them off at her window?”
During the month of February, I will write the story about the cute event, and post it!
By choosing TREAT you can get a 1 paragraph story during halloween which will be posted on Oct.31 - Nov.1…! The story has to be halloween related, since the story will be posted on Halloween after all <3
Example: “ Hey sisssss, I wanna go with a treat, can you write a story about a vampire!reader x dazai? Thanks againnnn ;p”
On October 31 or November 1, I will post the halloween story about the plot that the requester chose!
I hope you guys think this event is somewhat interesting, it took a lot of my brain cells to come up with it.
Atsushi x Akutagawa (ft. Dazai)
A/N: 23. “I dare you to tickle me.” of TK fic prompts with lee!Akutagawa x ler!Atsushi, requested by @beth-bethar00. Inspired by the image I’m using for this fic, haha! Dazai claiming the lead role because he’s just funny and intriguing.
Summary: Dazai thinks Atsushi and Akutagawa are made for each other and sees through their modest and tsundere interactions to catch a possible romance. It’s just that they might need a hand or two or they will never experience their first date! (Also on Ao3)
Word Count: 2020
To see the two get along, or not get along, was Dazai’s little guilty pleasure. Atsushi and Akutagawa. From their personalities to the colors of their hair and outfits, it was like watching a romance novel unfold into a live-action movie to see the two interact, which started with hatred and rivalry, and led to their current... what to call it...
Partnership? Friendship? Bromance? Or... romance?
They definitely confused their surroundings greatly, but Dazai knew he was the one who could see the potential. These two obviously liked each other in a romantic way, but Atsushi was the cutie clueless one, and Akutagawa was the biggest tsundere of the two.
Dazai had tried to prove this fact - mostly to himself - with little innocent pranks to bring the two together. Such as inviting both of them to meet up (without the other knowing) and not showing up to the appointment, forcing them to awkwardly meet at a cafe and watch them in the distance from behind his newspaper, disguised as an undercover agent. Mission failed, they barely chatted and didn’t even order their drinks before leaving.
Then there was Dazai’s attempt to give Akutagawa flowers on behalf of Atsushi (without Atsushi knowing anything about it), but Akutagawa didn’t even accept them.
“I swear they’re from Atsushi-kun!” Dazai had whined, but no. Not even from Atsushi, Akutagawa refused to even touch them. Wondering about whether he would have a flower allergy or just hated Atsushi that much (he refused to think so) Dazai had attempted many more things, all in vain.
He was almost close to giving up and surrender to the possible fact there was nothing special going on between those two after all, when a new idea struck him. That idea came in the middle of his little tickle session with Atsushi-kun.
“Dahah-Dazai! S-stop! Gahaha!” Atsushi was pawing at Dazai’s hands and trying to tickle him back, but Dazai held him firmly and overpowered him with tickles, and that while they were in the middle of the office.
“Tickle him back, Atsushi~” Kunikida sighed, not even trying anymore to break the two apart since it happened so often, so the least he could do was encourage adorable Atsushi to fight back.
“I ahaham tryihihing!” Atsushi cried. Dazai’s idea came at that moment. What if... Akutagawa would tickle Atsushi? No, no way. He probably wouldn’t. The other way around then. If Dazai could make Atsushi tickle Akutagawa? Oh the possibilities! Dazai stopped tickling Atsushi abruptly so he could continue to manifest that gorgeous idea. Atsushi tickling Akutagawa. Romance guaranteed.
Atsushi was so sweet, yet calculating and clever. Akutagawa would be so flustered. The touches, the giggles, the closeness. Dazai beamed. That was it!
People were visibly wondering what was going on as Dazai continued to smirk for days, looking for his best opportunity to ‘cause’ this tickle fight between those two. It came eventually in form of quite the suicide mission as he caught Akutagawa off-guard at last, magically distracted by Dazai’s mystery delivery of an empty box to his apartment (also on behalf of Atsushi).
The moment Akutagawa stood at the door to sign for receipt -- Dazai had informed the courier to take his precious time -- Dazai snuck inside through the window and hijacked Akutagawa’s phone to send the message that was going to do it.
Atsushi. I dare you to tickle me.
Dazai thought for a moment. Maybe it was a stupid idea after all, but he could see the courier finish his business with Akutagawa, so he resumed his silly plan with urgent haste before he would be discovered.
If you don’t, you’re dead.
Heehee. Now all that was left was quickly deleting the messages on Akutagawa’s phone and influence Atsushi to set his mission in motion instead of letting it result in another fail. Knowing Atsushi would be confused and flustered enough to not instantly reply to Akutagawa's messages yet, Dazai called Atsushi’s phone on his way back, and he did his proud rambling:
“Yooo Atsushi-kun. Did you perhaps happen to get a strange message from Akutagawa this afternoon?”
He heard Atsushi hum. “I did. No clue whatー”
“Ah yes, I ran into him and he was saying how he would challenge you to a tickle fight. I would accept it if I were you. Don’t message him back, just grab your chance as soon as you see him. If you don’t tickle him, he will do it to you first, and I happened to tell him where you are most ticklish~”
Atsushi sputtered on the other side. “That’s crazy! Why would he..?!” But Dazai hushed him.
“Tsk tsk, no more questions. I would plan your next move wisely, Atsushi-kun.”
That phone call, and a little more convincing when they were at work, was all Dazai needed as an extra preparation before he set up a meeting between the two again. Adorable as they were, they fell for it again, this time not ending up at a cafe but Dazai’s very own apartment, where Dazai wasn’t present. Or well, he was, in hiding. Very good, out of sight. Completely.
“He invited you too?” Akutagawa asked Atsushi coldly.
“He did. He’s not here?” They both studied the door that was ajar.
“It’s open.” As both of them hesitantly stepped inside, Dazai could finally see the two from his secret hiding place. If Atsushi wasn’t going to take the bait before Akutagawa was leaving, Dazai was really going to throw a fit after all this effort. But looked like things were heading in the right direction when Akutagawa spoke first.
“What was with that parcel you sent me?”
Oh, hehe. Dazai chuckled.
Atsushi looked at Akutagawa in confusion. “What parcel?”
“Yesterday. It was empty.” Akutagawa looked anything but amused, and judging from Atsushi’s attitude, he was already growing very cautious of perhaps a possible tickle attack Akutagawa might launch if he didn’t do it first. As crazy and silly as they were, Dazai's warnings throughout the day had been veeery convincing, hehe.
“I don’t know what y--” Akutagawa took another step closer to approach Atsushi, it seemed, or perhaps it was just to check Dazai’s apartment some more to see whether he really wasn’t here, but Atsushi jumped in shock when he came near him and sprang to his own defense.
“Hiyah!” he cried, and what looked like an impulse was actually a real strategic attack; Atsushi jumped back in defense, then back forward and he seriously tackled Akutagawa onto Dazai’s dusty floor.
“The hell?! Wha-Hhhhh....HEH?!” Akutagawa yelped when Atsushi began clawing at his lower sides.
“Dare accepted~” Atsushi said cheekily, Dazai almost gave away his hiding place by saying “aww” out loud, but he just in time controlled himself. Atsushi now started to tickle Akutagawa mercilessly with rapid pokes, confusing the pale male greatly as he struggled and squirmed under the weretiger’s weight.
“HEhehey!? The hehehell! G-get ohohoff! Whahahat!” Akutagawa was deliciously ticklish; Dazai might have been the only person who knew this, up until now.
“Ohoho? You dare me while you are this ticklish?” Atsushi chirped, reducing Akutagawa to some more of those hysterical giggles. Akutagawa was flailing and squirming but looked like he had lost his usual strength and let out loud bouts of laughter instead.
“I dohohon’t understa-aAHAha!” Atsushi kept up the tickling for a good while, Dazai was proud of him.
“Hehehe, and I’m not even giving my worst yet! Take that!” Atsushi sang playfully. He really was a cutie. But so was Akutagawa, who was now howling hysterically, appearing way more ticklish than whenever Dazai had tickled him teasingly in the past. Ohoho Atsushi was doing well here.
“Aahah-Atsushi-hahaa! N-nohoho!” Akutagawa rolled from side to side, throwing his head back.
“Hey get back here!” Atsushi taunted when Akutagawa seemed to be escaping, and he was easily dragged back underneath Atsushi and tickled more.
“Hehehehe! Y-you--! Gahaahah! H-hang on eyahaha!” Akutagawa could barely speak! In an attempt to throw Atsushi off, he bucked and brought his hands towards Atsushi’s sides to tickle him back -- he was that desperate. But Atsushi caught those hands swiftly and pinned them down. With his free hand, he continued to scribble all over Akutagawa’s sensitive torso.
“Heeheehee! Not thahahat!” Akutagawa giggled adorably. His legs were kicking and he arched his back, but none of that seemed to help him, and not even Rashoumon could be activated as Akutagawa merely laughed and giggled at the precious weretiger’s mercy.
Dazai peeked a little more from his hiding place and caught the fond look on Atsushi’s face. See! See! Of course he wouldn’t be able to resist Akutagawa showing such a cute side to him.
“Does that tickle?” Atsushi teased calmly, now poking playfully with two single fingers all over Akutagawa’s tummy.
“Do you give in?”
“I dohohon’t eheheven knowー AHAH! Yes! Quihihit it!” Akutagawa cried. Aw. At last the tickle attack came to an end, and the two stared at each other, Akutagawa still panting and gaping at Atsushi in confusion.
“Why did you..?!” he panted. Atsushi blinked.
“Because you dared me to. Did I do well?” Dazai definitely noticed Akutagawa was still holding Atsushi’s hands, obviously to prevent more tickles, but it was definitely also romantic.
Akutagawa closed his eyes tiredly. “What do you mean I dared you? As if I would,” he hissed, still catching his breath. Atsushi seemed to wonder about that too.
“Dazai told me about it too. I should tickle you before you tickle me. And you texted me about it.”
Ha. The mere mention of Dazai’s name was all it took to get that expression to Akutagawa’s face.
“Dazai,” he spat the name as if it was such a vile word.Atsushi seemed to realize too and his eyes widened, probably also connecting it to the empty parcel that was mentioned as well, and so did Akutagawa. They were not that dumb.
“Dazai... OH NO! I’m so sorry! We were tricked!” He staggered back, blushing like crazy.
“I can’t believe I-- noooo! I’m sorry!” he apologized in embarrassment, but now Akutagawa got this teasy smirk on his face and he approached Atsushi sneakily.
“So you fell for such a trick and went ahead and just dared to tickle me hm? Was it because you didn’t want me to tickle you first, you are that ticklish, Atsushi~?”
Akutagawa had no right to be so smug after laughing like that himself, but Dazai definitely enjoyed the show now that Rashoumon did appear and it seemed like Akutagawa was going to soon discover Atsushi’s most adorable ticklishness andー
“WAAAH!” Dazai had leaned a little too much forward and opened the door a little too much due to his curiosity, and finally fell from his hiding place, which had been the cramped top shelf of his oshiire (Japanese style closet).
Both guys yelped in shock to watch him fall down.
“YOU!” Akutagawa said, and Dazai was disappointed when Rashoumon was aimed at him instead, snatching all of his limbs before he could use his skill to nullify the ability, or even utter out a greeting.
“Dazai you trickster!” Atsushi was the first to jump forward, and he mercilessly tickled Dazai’s exposed sides as a revenge.
“HEHEHEY! I did it fohoohor your ohohown good-ahahaah!” Dazai started to laugh, but soon Akutagawa joined in and he was tickled by twenty vengefuly fingers. Oh well, but what he did notice was those fleeting little gazes these two sent each other whenever they turned away from Dazai’s hysterically laughing face to look in each other’s eyes.
He also noticed they definiteý didn’t jump away in horror when their fingers would touch each other’s in their joint mission of tickling Dazai to death.
And he definitely noticed the soft connection these two were having, those sweet lingering blushes on their faces as they visibly recovered from that tickly exchange they had just now.
If anything, it was a beginning, and Dazai was sure he wasn’t so far from setting them up on their first date. But first... But first... Get out of this mess of his very own making! (proud of it though...)
The autobiography of every Japanese writer is like “here’s the most fucked up childhood trauma you can think of, my dad was a bastard and member of the military aristocracy, all of our family maids were sad because I sucked at everything, time to write some homoerotic stuff about my best friend”
don’t ever ask dazai to join your ghost hunting adventures. not only will he antagonize whatever spirits he thinks could be around them, but he will celebrate / share any physical evidence left behind on his body like a prize. if he ever left a paranormal game with scratches or blood he never felt happening, he would be obnoxiously entertained, excited, and hopeful that he could convince that spirit to do more damage at a later date.
Standing in Barnes and Noble this past Saturday holding Osamu Dazai’s The Setting Sun in one hand and a light novel adaptation of an anime about a terminally ill girl brought back to life by a possessed penguin hat in the other.
I stood there, staring at the covers, while my intellectual side and my weird side warred within me over which to bring home.
My weird side won this round. I am now the proud owner of Penguindrum, book one.
doodles that got progressively worse
made in 25.oct
Alright. So Vincent is the quite type of depressed, but lets talk about Dazai.
Obvs his route isn't out, so idk if they actually talk about his depression and him being suicidal and what not, and I try not to look at the JP route bc I don't wanna be spoiled, especially since Dazai is such a mystery.
Dazai: *sitting upside down on a couch* Arthur: what are you doing? Dazai: waiting for all the blood to rush to my head, pass out and hopefully die Arthur: uhh..okay. How about we don't?
Like he'll just bluntly tell someone he's like "Yeah. My end solution is to die from this" And everyone is like "Didn't you agree to come back?"
Faust loves to experiment on him bc Dazai has no limits. Faust: alright. Drink this Dazai: Can I die from this? Faust: with this experiment, I'm hoping you don't Dazai: ugh. I don't want to do this then
For the most part he isn't actively suicidal he's just hoping his actions will lead to death. But every so often he get in an episode where he is actively suicidal and everyone is taking turns to watch him so he doesn't do anything stupid.
Theo once tied a rope around Dazai's waist and dragged him around the whole day.
Vincent and Jean aren't allowed to watch him since they are also suicidal and they aren't wanting a suicide pact.
Normally this only lasts a week.
Once time Isaac had to watch him, but he's not strong enough to stop him, so Isaac will jump on his back and cling to him
Isaac is like "Aren't depressed people suppose to lay around all day! Why are you trying to accomplish things!"
I hipe you like it ^^
Dazai: okay I know I'm cute! But stop smothering me. You're so annoying with all your smothering! I know I'm irresistible but now you've crossed my smothering line!
Theo: *is holding him down so he doesn't jump off the roof*
Wee spoilers from le Comte's route Ch. 6
I reckon you've missed an important point, MC
Le Comte's route
Dazai: *drinking milk* Arthur: Aren't you lactose intolerant? Dazai: This isn't lactose, it's milk! Will: you're a fucking idiot