you smiling into me and me holding your sweater
“oh, those two must be together!”
i wish it was this simple, i hope my smile doesn’t show
the heartache i’m feeling when
i wish i could know
if you’d rather walk away or
miss me in the snow
because i’d rather die
than leave you in the rain
sending all these pictures of you and me together
to my friends back home
hoping they’ll catch on before i have to
“oh you two look so cute”
i don’t want to break the bad news.
we can’t break up because we never got together
feeling so stupid texting you like
“love and miss you”
when my tear stained pillow
has never felt your lips
“i wish i could kiss you”
well who says you can’t.
i’ll pretend i can move on
but in spite of it all,
if i found out you kissed
another woman at all,
i’d never see right again,
emerald tinted glasses
hope they fit me again.
a kiss on the cheek
i’m scared that’s all i’ll ever get
took you 6 years to do it
i dont got 6 years left
even my mom says i’m crazy
left this city too young
i was searching for you
didn’t mean to look in the sun
i’ve been on fire too long
but i built the damn matches
scared to leave you hanging
but i don’t think there’s ever been a ladder
we’ll be stuck swinging like a god damn roller coaster
i brought a bandaid to a gun fight
but you survived like a liar.
hey besties do u think todd ever blamed himself for neil’s death ? like wondering if he had done something,, anything,, different,, neil would still be alive ?
hey besties do u think after neil’s death, todd ever tried to follow him?
what do u mean u dont think todd gives neil shoulder rubs when he’s stressed
like during exam weeks, with his dad breathing down his neck, neil is pulling all nighter after all nighter and todd takes a break from his studying to give him shoulder rubs, scalp massages, or just to pepper him with kisses until he relaxes.
he drags him to breakfast, lunch and dinner, and keeps study snacks for him
and tricks him into having a semi-decent sleeping routine
(”neil... are you still working?”
“oh it’s nothing....”
“todd, seriously, just tell me. u know u can tell me anything”
“well,,, with exams and stuff we havent spent much time together so i was kinda hoping we could cuddle,, but if ur busy...” *sad sad sad face*
“..oh! no no im almost done”)
“To write is to forget. Literature is the most agreeable way of ignoring life. Music soothes, the visual arts exhilarates, the performing arts (such as acting and dance) entertain. Literature, however, retreats from life by turning in into slumber. The other arts make no such retreat— some because they use visible and hence vital formulas, others because they live from human life itself.
This isn't the case with literature. Literature simulates life. A novel is a story of what never was, a play is a novel without narration. A poem is the expression of ideas or feelings a language no one uses, because no one talks in verse.”
Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet
i laughed the entire time i made this :DDD
based on that one photo of two men kissing in the 50′s featuring some historian idk idk
it’s messier than usual but that’s because i was just minding my business when inspiration snuck lmao
im tagging you two cuz i feel like you’d appreciate my humor
my anderperry fic drafts <33333
tag yourself, i’m “fellas is it gay to look at every nlue in awe cuz it rmeind su of ur homies eyes?????”
dps movie nights except todd never picks a movie because he’s worried the others’ wont like it so neil picks todd’s favorite movies when it’s his turn to choose
todd is very appreciative
ignore his weird ass teeth i can’t draw them
moments that i believe are full of magic:
- stirring your tea clockwise
- when leaves make a tornado
- when something suddenly clicks in your mind
- watching the snow gently fall
- listening to the rain (bonus points if you’re reading/writing)
- when your feet are perfectly warm underneath a blanket
- remembering something you forgot
- when you step on a crunchy leaf
- listening to soft music and taking a bath/shower
- being completely in the moment without even trying
no thoughts just anderperry slow dancing in their room with no music, just them and their giggles and whispers of adoration
and then them slow dancing in a tiny apartment they bought after welton, this time with music but also the same giggles and the same if not more adoration
and then them in a bigger place, after college, still in love, slow dancing together, soft music playing in the background, the same soft giggles, except this time todd pulls back reaches into his back pocket and then gets on one knee
and then them dancing together at their wedding, the poets cheering them on, subtly wiping away tears and there isn’t anything to say but neil still whispers ‘i love you’ softly into todd’s ear over and over
and then them old and tired, accomplished and retired, slow dancing together, decades later still completely in love. They can’t move as much as before but they still hold each other close and still laugh together quietly like the first time
the first time todd and neil sleep together - as in on the same bed - and it’s not because of a nightmare or anything like that, it’s early in their relationship and their still figuring out what is ok and what isnt
neil feels the safest with todd so he asks if he could share the bed tonight (and after a few misunderstandings and a lot of blushing) todd agrees because he feels safe with neil too
however, at this point todd isn’t used to neil just being there, asleep or awake
so when he wakes up the next morning, comfortable and warm and with another body pressed against his, he panics and kicks neil off the bed
Fuck texts, calls, write me a letter instead.
todd anderson’s least favorite topic of conversation is todd anderson which is kinda funny since neil perry’s favorite topic of conversation is todd anderson.
There were times when I used to cry everyday and there's this time when I don't even remember the last time I cried. I'm just numb , emotionless and insensitive. I've known too much of misery to call it a stranger . Perhaps happiness would seem like a stranger.
based on this
charlie, one hand on the back of cameron’s neck and the other running suggestively down his arm: how about i help you study anatomy ;)
cameron, visibly brightening up and reaching for his bag: really? that’s great! I made flashcards !!
okayyy this is the full picture
it’s inspired by @aedan-mills idea of todd being a writer and neil being an actor, i’ll link the thread but basically this is their first movie win featuring the director trynna give a speech and anderperry celebrate
it also works with one of the teacher todd and actor neil au’s, specifically the one where todd presents neil an award but the director would be the host instead lmao
and since i love you guys here anderperry alone
so imma just tag since technically it originated from a teachers au?? idk the plot was lost pretty quickly
@poetofthedyingstars @aedan-mills @maisietheweltoncow @theluminoussunflower @sapphicnoel @regina-della-poesia @queen-of-bohemia @moose-blogs @hgracieeees @justarandompjofan @boy-wonder-oncologist-fan
I hide my insanity behind pretty words and call myself a writer.
todd goes home for thanksgiving and sits a bit straighter and smiles a bit wider and jeff notices and though the two aren’t particularly close, he’s still like “woah what’s up with you”
and, unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your perspective, becomes the victim of rant after rant about how adorable and nice and handsome and perfect neil perry is and how he’s todd’s boyfriend now
that’s how thanksgiving break goes for jeff
just sitting there and listening to his little brother rant about his boyfriend whomst he’s in love with for hours and hours and hours
but, hey, at least he accidently manages to take the first step in repairing his relationship with todd :D