I read an article about the “Rogue Spanish Dubber” that said
it was “obviously a mistake” because Cas’s line “happiness isn’t in the having,
it’s in just being, it’s in just saying it” proves that Cas didn’t need Dean to
reciprocate, so Dean obviously wouldn’t be scripted to say “I love you too” afterwards.
But what if those words weren’t a “self-realization” on Castiel’s part, but more—a piece of advice
for Dean? If that’s the case, then Cas’s happiness wasn’t him speaking
his truth and admitting his love—because he’s basically said all those things
before (not as explicitly, but he’s summarized those sentiments). What if his happiness
was actually hearing Dean accept love? It’d make sense right?
After his long speech of all Dean’s accomplishments—telling Dean how he’s helped
Cas become better. Telling him all the ways he actually gave Cas the ability to
care. Castiel was trying to convince Dean that he is a good man, the best
man … that’s what has driven Castiel since the beginning. He has been trying to
convince Dean to love himself, that he deserves to be saved. So, what if
everything we have speculated in the past is true—that they’ve had
romantic interactions before. The level of comfort and intimacy we’ve seen
between them over the seasons: the mix tape, the “he found it under my pillow”
the face touching and deep talks, the married-style bickering … what if all
that was showing us that they have been “together” but the only thing
that hasn’t happened between the two is them stating that explicit and
definitive “I love you”? Castiel knew that once he said it to Dean—in that
moment where, not only are their lives were on the line, but the fate of the world was too; where saying it meant that
he’d die, he knew Dean would have to believe him. And the very second Dean did believe
him, Castiel would find true happiness, allowing The Empty to come in and take
him away; but how would he know that Dean believed him? Dean would have to tell
Cas he loved him back – he’d have to actually accept the angel’s love, accept all the good things about himself, accept that he’s worthy enough to be loved and to give love.
And he would accept it, because every bone in his body wanted him to. Every muscle
ached for those words to finally come out; but when they did, Dean realized the
mistake he’d made. Accepting love means you can lose it, and his love was
taken from him the very moment he let it in.
Dean Winchester is saved – that’s always been Castiel’s
Dean Winchester is lost – because Castiel was his