Pairing: Bucky X Reader
Word Count: 799
Warnings: angst, sadness, feelings of worthlessness hinted at
A/N: After I read @shurisneakers Reform, this song came to mind. Reform just reminds me that we all need that 1 person in our lives who will be there for us, when we need their help but don’t know how to ask for it, and won’t judge us for being who we are. Thank you for being who you are Ari; kind, wonderful, and beautiful.
Breathe in. Hold it, hold it, hold it. Let it go. You could almost hear your therapist’s voice telling you that everything would be okay. Yeah, things are NOT okay. Not by a long-shot.
You felt him behind you more than you heard or saw him. He had become somewhat of a fixture around you lately. Not that having the former Winter Soldier as your best friend was bad. In fact, it was pretty awesome. Although he would never admit it.
“What’s wrong Doll?” he whispered as he gently turned you around. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.
“The voices, they’re just -” you took in a short breath, “I’ve tried everything I can think of and they just won’t be quiet.” You played with the hem of the shirt you’d ‘borrowed’ from him a few weeks ago as you shrugged.
He gently put his hands, one warm and one cool, on either side of your face and started to tilt it to look at you. You wiggled out of his hands and just hung your head while you felt the white hot tears stream down your face.
“Why can’t I just be normal?” you whispered. You weren’t sure that he had heard you, until he crushed you to his chest.
“Why would you want that Doll?” you felt it more than heard it. His chest rumbled, even when he was being quiet. It seemed like even though his voice understood how to be quiet, the rest of him had trouble with it sometimes. You felt him kiss the top of your head.
You finally decided to sneak a look at him through your lashes. You could see the worry etched on his face, it was heartbreaking. It just made you feel even worse. Here was an Adonis of a man that was holding and comforting YOU, when he surely had better things to be doing on a crisp, clear, late Spring evening.
“Why do you even care, Bucky?” you sniffled.
He looked at you like you’d landed a punch to his gut. He took your hand and walked backward until he sat on the edge of your bed and you were standing between his legs. He placed his hands on either side of your hips, and you used his shoulders to help ground you.
“There’s this song that I know. It talks about how words don’t mean anything. I bet you might know it.” He has that wonderful smirk on his face, where only one side of his mouth is turned up and he’s acting kind of shy. It’s one of the things you love about him. He knows exactly how to get through to you, and he’s always happy to be there for you.
“I might. Do you know who sings it?” and he starts to hum the tune for you. You give him a slight laugh. “Yeah, I know it. Give me a sec. FRIDAY, play Beautiful by Christina Agulera.”
“Gladly miss.” And you begin to hear the piano playing. You start to hum along with the music.
Every day is so wonderful
Then suddenly it's hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain
I'm so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today....
You just feel strong arms around your waist and feel Bucky nuzzling into your hair. “Keep singing Doll. You got this.” he whispers. You squeeze his arms and continue singing.
You finish the song turned around in his arms. “So don’t you bring us down, today.” You look up at him, as he rests his forehead on yours. You realize that your breathing in his breath, and your breath shakes for a minute.
“You okay? I thought…”
“No, Buck.” You shake your head a little. “I’m much better. Thanks to you that is.” You raise up on your toes and kiss his forehead. “Actually I’m perfectly imperfect right now. And I’ve got you to thank for that reminder.”
“We gotta have each other’s back. Just like when I have my moments, you’re gonna have some. Just remember that I’m here. Okay?” He flashes those cerulean blues at you through those eyelashes that you’ve always envied as he cups your face and kisses you.
It was gentle and sweet. It was everything you needed right now, and held so much promise for later when you were both having a good day.
You whimpered slightly when he broke contact and leaned his head against yours again. “Okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay.”
Tags: @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @dailyreverie @shurisneakers @msmarvelwrites