Okay vent time. So my body dismorphia is back and better then ever!! (I’m kidding) I literally cannot step infront of a mirror without gagging while looking at myself. It’s not even with my stomach, it’s with my face and it’s with my legs. Like they’re just disgusting in every way. Of course I have people who tell me I’m beautiful. But the hardest part is I can’t see that. My brain won’t let me believe I’m beautiful. So I’m stuck on a cycle of starving myself, exercising, then binge eating until I make myself sick and then I sit infront of the mirror and cry about how ugly I am. Also ever since I cut my hair I feel worse, I don’t have my long hair to cover up my facial shape. I just truly cannot see anything worth being called beautiful, especially since my hormones are so wack and I started to get fibromyalgia and everything hurts, I also have a limp because of a bulged disk in my spine, so I feel like I can’t accomplish anything anymore. I just wish life as simpler, I’m trying to stay as positive as possible and wanting to make myself happy. But it isn’t easy.
3if you ever need to stop yourself from bingeing/eating, just watch mukbang gross highlights on youtube
i’m not eating for another week i swear
2ive started to cut again. i feel ashamed to say that. its been so long since ive felt the need to do this but fuck man does it feel amazing. the constant rush of dopamine. the blood dripping from my arm. seeing the fat bubbles show up after a while. i cant stop. everynight. i spend hours doing this. i love it.
8I’m surprised these people don’t write slashfic on the Columbine killers or ship OCs with ‘em. They seem like the type of human filth to do that.
https://diabeticsugarush.tumblr.com/post/186011806457/villainfuckers-unite-can-i-add-sephiroth-and
These are the types of people who secretly jerk off to serial killers or some depraved shit. Something rotted their fucking brains badly
3You know what I hate? People shipping canonically gay, gay, not bi or pan, characters with characters of the opposite gender. It is rude and on some degrees, homophobic to do so and I’m SICK of it.
0I’m stuck between hating myself and wanting to love myself, and that’s why I’m standing still.
I need to change
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my only problem with birds of prey was the fact that harley kept littering like wtf dude pick that wrapper off the floor rn
61Does anyone know how much weight I’ll lose if I eat 300 calories a day?~
(not me in the gif)
9I just saw House of Wax again and I remember why I loved Lester so much, delicious disgusting man, delicious!
8i weighed myself today and I’m 120 pounds and 5’7 and what the fucking fuck I am disgustingly fat I need to lose at least 10 pounds how did I let myself get this fucking disgusting
0i don’t like it i don’t like it at all i legitimately just stepped on a roach and didn’t even kill it on the way to the bathroom at 3 AM, i had to smush it with the soap dispenser bUT MY FOOT TOUCHED A ROACH
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