me you you me you you
I’m afraid I might not know how
Too tight might hurt you
Too loose might slip you off
She runs around in circles,
stuck in infinite indecisiveness.
She’s still trying to read between the lines,
like dusk in the middle of night and day.
She’s half of this and that,
but never full.
She’s clothed in innocence,
wrapping her guilts.
god wish I could be in the same room as my mom without walking on eggshells. I hate having to play a constant game of “is my mom emotionally abusive, or am i just being over dramatic like most teens”
The Christian believer lives in the midst of Anfechtung–that is, under assault or attack. Doubt is not the opposite of faith; indeed, only believers may doubt! The opposite of faith in Christ (one has to add the object of faith at this point) is faith in the self.
~Timothy J. Wengert, Reading the Bible with Martin Luther, 62.
Question marks in the worst way possible.
And if that scares you… you’re not alone.
Which is my point.
Here’s the thing: the way scared and alone looks in real life is that you wanna crawl into the deepest hole you can find and, once you’re in there, you wanna pull that hole in after you. And right now… there’s everything to suggests that’s the most rational response to this moment in which we find ourselves. And for the forseeable future, it may be the most rational response no matter what anyone says.
Because when we’re gripped by fear and doubt and despondency…
It’s hard to think about anything else.
The feelings of loneliness we bear don’t always reflect the reality in which we live.
The feelings of loneliness we bear.
Don’t always reflect.
The reality in which we live.
And all the days after that.
I wasn’t kidding about the “hole” analogy, by the way. I know any number of people who climbed in, pulled the hole in after them, and are huddled in darkness alone and out of sight.
And for each of these, there are many friends doing exactly the same thing.
Now I don’t blame anyone, anyone, for pulling the trigger on this impluse. What they’re responding to is overwhelming and disappointing and relentless.
Our feelings of loneliness don’t always reflect a reality of being alone. And right now there are a lot of people who are otherwise connected, otherwise friends, who’re alone in the dark. Which is why we’re working harder than usual to maintain social proximity while keeping our physical distance.
This is no time to be less emotionally available. This is no time to lose track of each other. This is no time to leave anything unsaid.
Because I’ve said all of that just so I can say this:
If you’re alone in a deep, dark hole and you call a friend today, or even just someone to whom you’re connected today, chances are real good you’re gonna find out you’re talking to someone who needed that call. You’re gonna find out you’re not alone and… they’re gonna find out that they’re not alone.
And most importantly, you’re both gonna find how there is strength in numbers.
Strength in numbers.
Even with all those question marks out there.