Last night I dreamt my ex boyfriend.
It was kinda strange, I didn’t have my “memories of what happened between us (?), like a rewind of all our relationship trapped in few sequences of “life”.
At first it was all okay, we were together in my house, we were cuddling and chilling happily. Everything was just the same, and I remember how joyful we were.
But then, it all went dark. Problems, argues, pain suddenly came out, we started questioning our relationship and how was probably better to stop it, due to some episodes (happened in real life).
I was crying,
I couldn’t stop crying.
In that moment I felt the oblivion on my skin, that sense of emptiness, the fear that everything would fallen apart. The idea of losing, of being alone, without the person I considered my guide and love, put me in a real state of shock, where I still can’t get myself out of despite the time and my love for him passing.
All that I’ve been through still affects my current life, I am very sick so this was probably the main reason I dreamt about him. He gave me love, self confidence and always pushed me to get through, but he also hurt me, in a terrible way.
Get up from dreams like this, is as intense as a kick right to your stomach.
I woke up in tears this morning, I immediately realized what happened and how things are very much different now and, even though time flies, still hurts fucking the same.