I’m really having a rough day. Popping pills like I’m trying to fucking die.
11I have a suicide prevention tip that’s not very conventional but has helped me release a ton of emotions when I’m feeling actively suicidal, i.e. in a panic and ready to attempt something. Draw how you would kill yourself. Be as detailed as possible too. It doesn’t have to be this fancy drawing either. Stick figures work just as well. Just some kind of self expression for how you are feeling in the moment. It works better than trying to distract yourself. Personally, I find when I draw things I have total control over what is happening, and that helps a lot. Seriously, try it and see how you feel afterwards.
11As my thoughts take me out
One by one
I become undone
The unraveling, chaotic masterpiece I’ve become
Where have I gone?
Cause I’m missing myself
Like a book
Left to dust on the bookshelf
@theaddictspoetry
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Ah yea and i had heroin again yesterday but I’m not going to do it again in the next days
0I‘m a fucking Monster
I always find creative ways to destroy myself
But I’m melting in your hands and i know these hands are the wrong ones
But i just love to be desired
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Harness Your Strengths To Shift From Addiction To Abundance. Jesse is going to share how he recovered from opioid addiction and a ton of practical solutions to help you on your sobriety journey.
But before we jump in, I’d like to announce that after 4 years of doing the podcast, and much deliberation, the name of the podcast is changing to “The One Day At A Time Podcast”!!
When I originally chose the name, I thought it sounded kinda catchy and I named it after my favorite 12 step meeting. What I didn’t realize is that the acronym “ODAAT” is not widely known, even in the recovery community! And is regularly misspelled, so it’s been a struggle from the start. So now, it’s simply called The One Day At A Time Podcast, because that’s still one of my favorite recovery sayings.
To hear more episodes like this one, along with recommendations for books, meditations, and other recovery resources I discover on the interwebs, just visit odaatchat.com and subscribe to the weekly newsletter.
So there ya have it, let’s jump into the conversation, with Jesse!
Check out this episode on how to recover from alcoholism and drug addiction!
1It’s crazy how my whole mood can be changed depending on what I’m listening too.
Like rn I’m riding in the car..Just stuck in traffic , and Im listening to Dreamers- Sweet disaster thinking about “how the hell can I get motivated to wake up in the morning and be productive. I’m feeling dread , anxiety, and pressure to be more than what I am right now……..
A drug addict. Because as I sit in this traffic, I’m on my way to my dealer to go get high 😐… I want to do better but because I can’t I seem to make myself worse.
Guess what though?? When I leave that building from getting this stuff I need. All of the dread ,anxiety , and pressure will be GONE.. Just like I want to be. I’m sure I’ll be hopping back in my black Ford Focus, turn the fucking music UP. And I’m gonna try to forget how HAPPY seeing my dealers makes me , because they are fine af and I’ve just known them so long.. so those are just my thoughts rn…as I drive down to memorial- Exit 41.
2- Immer too late, immer zu spätHab’ keine Zeit, nur unterwegsIch mache nix oder ich kiff’
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For as long as I can remember this is the version of my mother that I will forever refer to. A severely drug addicted woman with no zest for life who’s only purpose is to score her next high, trap my father and crank out two more kids. I have struggled with her addiction more than she has and she has no clue. I am now a 40 year old mother of 3 and a chef struggling with crippling depression and anxiety. This is my form of therapy to put it out there in the world and tell my story.
Why not just go get therapy you ask?
Because going to therapy means you’re weak. Weakness means failure and failure means the ultimate “I told you so”.
Why not get on meds of some sort you ask?
I have several times and several different kinds. For me they cut off all feelings and it’s just not worth it to me. I’d rather feel the pain, know that it’s real and face the music. I guess that’s the sadist in me, I’d rather feel the pain then none at all.
Welcome to my story and my ramblings…
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