#dsmp angst Tumblr posts

  • existential-crisistm
    12.05.2021 - 12 hours ago

    hello,,, I honestly need to ask this, mostly for writing purposes

    who is your favorite character from the dsmp, and how can you stand them?

    I mean no hate or anything, I’m truly curious,, I have friend who loves quackity, though how do they love him so much when his lore is so poisonous. how can people adore tommy when he has done so much shit, though it’s easier to be sympathetic towards him as he’s just a kid, but how? do you guys ignore the bad? do you focus on the comic relief between angsty lore, do you pity them?

    I suppose you can always try and justify the characters’ mistakes. Techno killing Tubbo and setting the Withers on L’Manberg? Well, he was peer pressured, and the others betrayed him by continuing government practices. Tubbo exiling Tommy? Obviously he was manipulated by Dream!! Ranboo allowing Tommy to take the fall, betraying everyone simultaneously but firm in his moral belief that he was picking people, not sides, hanging out with techno and the syndicate yet marrying tubbo? Quackity, poisoning the rest of the cabinet, torturing Dream, starting the Butcher Army, attempting to execute Ranboo, executing Techno, etc etc

    How do you guys find the heart to fall in love with these characters despite it all? what makes them so sympathetic, or lovable, or likable? Why you guys love them?

    #and that is why my favorite character is michael I rest my case ur honor #quackity #seriously why please I'd love to know #dsmp#dsmp angst#dsmp lore#tubbo #bashing?? but not really #just questioning#just asking#ask#tommy#wilbur#tommyinnit #dude the characters are so wack #how do yall do it #lmanberg#lore#ranboo#michael#technoblade#techno mcyt #dream smp techno #techno angst#dream angst#butcher army#execution#justification#stans#favorite
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  • thelullabyer12
    12.05.2021 - 13 hours ago

    Cast aside for something better

    “Fundy, I’ve been meaning to ask... what are you the god of?” It was a perfectly reasonable question, Fundy supposed. Niki wasn’t trying to be rude and yet that question put him on edge. As if he’d be attacked.

    “The God of Tricksters”, he admitted, “I’m not sure what the other one is.” He felt bad lying to Niki, she deserved the truth. “Oh, that’s a shame. I’m sure you’ll find out soon! Here, can you help me with frosting this cake?” Fundy appreciated that Niki changed the subject for him. He helped with the cake, drawing stupid designs and laughing as the soft spoken girl scolded him. It felt... very domestic. The flour on his shirt and smell of pastries in the air made him feel safe. Out of place in this safe haven. 

    He paused, then spoke. He didn’t realize what he was going to say until he said it yet he didn’t regret speaking up. Niki was his best friend, after all. “I know the other thing. Acceptance.” Niki looked at him, gently prompting him to continue with a hand on his shoulder. He reached up and held it like a lifeline. She grounded him. 

    “Do you know how I became a god? I was mortal for about twenty years. I’m not sure what I did during that time to deserve rising but... I don’t know. I just know that I was reborn in the walls of L’Manberg, Wilbur peering down on me. He took me in, jokingly called me his son. I suppose he is a bit older than me. Never mind, point is that Wilbur took me in when I had no idea what was happening. He was the one who realized I was the Trickster God.” He paused. He never shared this story before. He played pranks, he grinned, he cared in his own way but this kind of intimacy was foreign to him.

    “He cast me aside after a while. He was with Tommy. I felt so bitter and cold and sad and angry but I tried so hard to repress it. I tried my best to bottle up everything, to pretend that I was okay. And I... I wasn’t. And I only managed to let go when I accepted that. When I accepted that Wilbur didn’t see me, that it wasn’t Tommy’s fault, that I had worth. That’s when I was okay.”

    Niki’s eyes blazed, anger at his mistreatment clear in her gaze. She drew the tall boy in a tight hug, protectiveness surging through her. He smelt her sweater, the bread smell and chocolate comforting him. He was okay. He didn’t need Wilbur. Not many would accept the Trickster with open arms. He accepted himself. He was a tad jaded, he wouldn’t trust easily, but he did love. That was enough for him. If others rejected him for his flaws, he would find solace in himself. He was betrayed, he was tossed aside, he was abandoned. He knows himself and he sure as hell knows his own worth. It’s not his fault if no one else can see it.

    Niki was underestimated yet there is strength in the underestimated. They may be quiet but they see. They analyze your weaknesses, what makes you tick, how to hurt you without even being near you. She was strong, even if it was hard to see at first. Firm in her beliefs, vocal with her thoughts. Never underestimate the Goddess of Vengeance. She would find a way to enact revenge. For now, she would comfort her friend.





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  • fibi-draws
    12.05.2021 - 14 hours ago

    Dream has stated he wanted to kill Tubbo, not because he had a personal vengeance on him, but because it would hurt Tommy.

    Why wouldn’t he take the opportunity to make Ranboo an emotional weapon on his little game?

    #this could be a part one! haven't decided yet #dream smp#dsmp#mcyt#tubbo#ranboo#tommyinnit#dream#bee duo#angst
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  • jinx-png
    11.05.2021 - 18 hours ago

    anti hero tommy au pog????????

    #dream smp#dsmp fanart #anti hero tommy #tommyinnit#dreamwastaken#// #my exam did not go well #HOWEVER #angst will help me thru the pain #:’)
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  • yourfavouritetragedy
    11.05.2021 - 18 hours ago

    Happy One Year to Ghostbur in Limbo!

    Here's some angst! You/I/he are all ghostbur btw (also I love ghostbur and he's 100% real imo. but this is limbobur's POV)


    Welcome to life after death life after life after life after life after there is him and he is me and I am not him so that I do not have to be alone

    He sits‎ ‎on the ground of the train station and rocks‎ ‎back and forth and clutches at his head and the small patch of Friend’s wool that he always keeps with him. Blue. Despair He had cried a whole sheep blue. and he had called it friendship

    There is only grey a platform, dusty and damp an old ash pile, next to a bench a train that never never stops never stops never stops and the red highlights He knows no one is coming and you can’t ever leave so the train will roll by forever

    this place was not meant for you; the walls scream at you but you don’t want to scream back this place is a trap made of love-hate-pain but all you need is despair loss & memory ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎reality Jubilee is not your Hell but Hell it still is (I wish ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ I wasn’t‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ here)

    He is a fantasy of a memory of a dream He isn’t real He is real He is a doll and he is a useless husk and he is a shell of a person And he was alive and real and— and— he was n’t loved just a twice-dead ghoul that everyone forgot to love

    You are the comfort of being sad and perhaps if you cry long enough you will melt into oblivion taking the pain away with you. His tears start clear, you know But he cries Blue

    You are at the train station and you are all alone you are me and I am him and he will never come home / I am on the ground and he will not look up I make myself so small I hope I cannot be seen. / If he was never really a person then surely he cannot be dead? If he was empty, he couldn't be here‎ ‎‎‎ ‎‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ?‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Jubilee

    You are certain of one thing and it is this: Jubilee is everything (you’re not) and nothing and it will be your undoing.

    Life after death and then death after life and still alive dead haunted

    I'm just a ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎haunted ghost haunting a haunted place who is where who is you are dead / and death is Jubilee

    ghostboy, ghostboy did anyone ever love you? or were you only ever used? ghostboy, ghostboy life was oh so cold to you you could never feel your toes you still can’t death is as cold as life as you were always dead / ghostboy, ghostboy shadow ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎boy neverland ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎boy the little prince is ephemeral

    And I am at the train station he is at the train station and the train will never come ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎for him because ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎soon enough ‎ ‎ ‎ they will all ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎forget ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ him

    The train thetrainthetrainthetrainthetrain It runs ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎and runs And he is‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎ ‎melting sinking The noise‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎never changes ‎‎it. ‎‎won’t. ‎‎stop. And he is sinking ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎melting dissipating ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎into the never-forever‎‎‎more

    He is ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎not (He isn't— ) You haven’t seen ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎the sun rise and I ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ haven’t seen the stars (in so long ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎or ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ever ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎?) It is a ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎train ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎station Lonely ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎damp and cold And it is not empty But no ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎- ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎body is there

    #ghostbur fanfiction#dsmp afterlife#dsmp limbo#ghostbur#limbobur#ghostbur death#jubilee #a few references to a aliven'bur (+tommy) fic I'm writing :D #the slahses are supposed to connect stanzas that are the same but need a bigger gap #i did doulbe spaces between sections in notes #but tumblr has the gap after paragraphs so i'm using that instad #it's annoying #I said this #my writing#fic#poetry#derealization tw#hell mention#depersonalization tw#angst #please don't steal this btw #i've heard tumblr is sht with stealign poetry #this is actually the first time i've used in-line space #i was reading some contest winners and noticed it very popular #so i decided to try it out #nobody or no body? #you decide #how to screen readers do poetry? #i use super-short dash transitions b/c i know long ones are annoying #but idk if the white space and linebreaks will be annoying or show up at all
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  • ghostlysenses
    11.05.2021 - 20 hours ago

    Fake Friends

    |Tw: Fake friends, sadness, cussing, sad thoughts, Sucide, Death.

    {bench trio x reader platonic}

    I was walking around the prime path, waving to people as they passed by, occasionally talking to some.

    I honestly just wanted to spend time with my friends, Tubbo, Tommy, and Ranboo! We didn't hangout often but when we did it was awesome!

    we would go on fun adventures to the mines, forests, and the neather!

    I helped build things with them and I helped them get everything they need.

    But recently they havent been hanging out with me, they dont answer my messages on the pager (coummincater) and when I do see them in person and try to talk to them they either ignore me, walk or run away from me.

    Did I do something?

    Was it something I said?

    I keep walking as my thoughts drift further and further away from me.

    Do they hate me?

    Is it my appearence?

    whats wrong with me?

    I end up in Tommys small peice of land... and there I see on the bench, all of them, smiling happily, talking, and listening to mellohi...

    they didn’t even care to invite me...

    I walk past quietly and make my way to L'manhole

    I stand in the middle of it and look up at the sky...

    I look down at l'manhole and memories rush through my head

    {I was sitting in a small flower field when a boy with blond hair came up to me "hello! can I be friend?"} everyone always told me that joke but he looked honest that day

    { I nod gently and he sits next to me, later that day he introduced me to his friend tubbo and we all become good friends! we took care of each other, we built things}

    it was like we needed each other...


    it was like I needed them...

    I dont even notice im crying until I feel my tears hit my fists.

    I look back up at the sky

    Its so pretty today...

    L'manhole is made of glass....huh

    I stomp on the glass...

    It cracks

    I stomp again, my eyes never leaving the clouds.

    I keep stomping until

    S h a t t e r

    I'm falling

    Its like timestops as I fall

    I didn't even scream

    I didn't make any noise

    I'm just enjoying the feeling of floating

    On every Pager/Coummincator the notifcation rang up

    Y/N Has fallen from a High Place 3/3

    You had been on your last life for about 2 years...you didn’t tell anyone... besides ranboo...who surprisingly remembered, probably because he wrote it down.

    When the Trio saw the notification their blood ran cold

    they ignored you constantly

    they were jerks to you

    none of them got to say goodbye

    Tubbo was in complete shock, hands over mouth, eyes wide and tears forming. He felt terrible

    Ranboo didn’t know what to think, he felt guilty, he felt like it was his fault...like he could’ve prevented this, maybe if talked to you more? maybe if he begged the other two to include you more? maybe if he knew this would happen, it would all be different.

    Tommy felt horrible, he felt like the scum of the earth, he had a stone cold face with tears streaming down. He was always so rude to you, harsh and brash and always throwing out insults. Some were jokes, some weren’t. His memories of you were always so sweet and so nice, they were all good memories, something he has very little of. He knows you can’t say the same though.

    Each boy remembered the last thing they said to you

    Yes, surprisingly even ranboo.

    Tubbo had told you about a build he was making, that was 5 months ago.

    Ranboo had told you about micheal, that was 6 months ago.

    and Tommy...oh Tommy, he called you the most useless thing on the smp before stomping off and never talking to you again. That was 9 months ago

    Tommy felt the worst out of the group of boys....

    But each of them knew collectively that

    they should’ve been there for you

    that they shouldve




    #ranboo x reader #dsmp tommy#tommyinnit #tommyinnit x reader #ranboo#ranboo dsmp#tubbo #tubbo x reader #dsmp tubbo #tommy and tubbo #Angst#sad#dsmp#dream mcyt#dream smp #dream smp x reader #platonic
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  • ghostboyhaunted
    11.05.2021 - 23 hours ago

    Hey what if Dream turns Ranboo against Tommy?

    reminder before i start this is ALL /rp !!!! this is a THEORY about the CHARACTERS

    anyway here we go-!

    things we know:

    -Enderwalk!Ranboo wants to keep the peace

    -awake!ranboo believes that Dreams the reason everything always goes bad

    -awake!ranboo and tommy are growing closer as friends/ they trust eachother

    -there are members of the server that blame Tommy for everything going bad (think Jack Manifold, Sam, Technoblade)

    -enderwalk!ranboo and Dream are somehow connected

    If Dream can communicate with enderwalk!ranboo(it can be assumed that he does, given the voice and the dream visit) then there is a chance he could influence the other's thoughts. If Dream could convince Ranboo that Tommy was the problem, he would have another ally. Even if awake!ranboo didn't believe it, the stress invoked by the thought could very well be enough to cause him to go into the enderwalk state, creating a cycle of stress and dread until something snaps.

    the question then would be what would Ranboo do? If enderwalk! is set on keeping peace and awake! believes that killing the catalyst will stop fighting, where does that leave Tommy? :)

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  • sillyskull-xam
    11.05.2021 - 23 hours ago

    List of Karlnapity facts, headcannonsand & theories:

    Karlnap started on September 23.

    Karl is the one suggested that he, Sapnap & Quackity should be in a polyamous relationship since November 8, and they were officially in a relationship around November 18. (based on Karl’s old vods I found)

    All of them are affectionate with each other in their own ways,the affectionate rank goes like: Karl > Sapnap > Quackity; yet they are all equally protective & easily jealous.

    All of them seeks approval, affections and sense of belonging in the relationship.

    Karl is overprotective as he always kept an eye on Quackity whenever someone flirts with Quackity or other way around even before they are in a relationship. (it’s funny that Karl had witnessed all of the flirting between Q & Schlatt/Eret/Wilbur/Techno etc.)

    Quackity still doesn’t know that BBH is Sapnap’s dad.

    Quackity somehow is the most mature person in the relationship.

    Since Sapnap is the youngest but physically strongest among the three, he felt that it’s his duty to keep his fiancés safe.

    Karl was chosen to be a time traveler because of his genuine interest in storytelling of the SMP. (based on the stream where him & Q being very attentive listening to Sapnap’s stories from the early days of the SMP while they were building a cow farm)

    Things/places that commemorate their relationship include the “I ❤️ PENIS” sign & their cow farm. (those builds still survive till this day)

    Now here are some karlnapity angst (mostly about Quackity):

    The last times Sapnap & Q were seen together is during Doomsday and the Disc Confrontation while the last time Karl & Q were seen together is when Karl saved Q from BBH and the Egg. (which is before the formation of Kinoko Kingdom)

    Quackity didn’t fully trust Sapnap & Karl even though they’re his fiancés because both Sapnap & Karl was on Schlatt’s side (Manberg) while Q is on Pogtopia’s side, and Sapnap is still Dream’s close friend despite everything Dream have done.

    Quackity has never fully moved on from his relationship with Schlatt and whatever relationship with Wilbur, but he didn’t want to worry his fiancés about his problems.

    One of the reason why Quackity was upset about Karl & Sapnap leaving El Rapids is because everything they fought for & all the sacrifices became pointless, which include one of Karl’s canon life.

    Yet some of the reasons why Quackity didn’t plan to visit or confront his fiancés are because of his own guilt of making deals with Glatt (his ex husband/fiancé) & having “advanced interrogation” to Dream, so he didn’t want them to found out. Adding the fact that Q felt abandoned, and thinks that he deserved the treatment and should just move on like he always does.

    Sapnap will eventually join the Eggpire side as the egg used his canonical father BBH to convince Sapnap by feeding his insecurities & loneliness ,and BBH is all he have left. (possibly when Karl eventually forget about Sapnap or when he found out Q went back to Schlatt)

    Quackity will be heartbroken when finding out Karl has forgotten him, not only because he is Q’s fiancé, but because Karl was one of his closest friend in the early days & he was there for Q when he was vulnerable/in danger (during the whole Manberg era, Q overcoming his fear of Techno, almost being brainwashed by the Egg etc.)

    Since Quackity thought Sapnap had left him and Q is most likely being targeted by the Eggpire (and Dream when he escaped the prison) while he is incapable of fighting (half blind), Q had hired Purpled as his bodyguard for protection (based on the Red Banquet stream.)

    #dream smp#dsmp#quackity#sapnap#karl jacobs#karlnapity#/rp #dream smp headcannon #dream smp theory #long post #tw torture mention #season 2 is the peak of karlnapity #but #3 way relationship means 3 times of angst #xam
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  • tower-of-deceit
    11.05.2021 - 1 day ago

    Ghost Spirit my beloved :')

    Anyway, this is inspired by a very neat fanfic written by @dr3amofagame which you can check out here.

    #if you guys like angst you really should check it out #c!dream #dream smp#dsmp#mcytumblr#dsmpblr#dreamwastaken#mcyt fandom#fanart#art#dreamsmp #c!dream my beloved #idk what other tags to add #c!dream fanart #pandoras vault#mcyt#/rp#blood#implied torture#scars
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  • soapsoappp
    11.05.2021 - 1 day ago

    c!tommy has many enemies on the dmsp. Lots of people hate him, lots of people are out for his blood. He’s been called annoying, selfish, unworthy, and weak.... But there’s no one who despises c!tommy more than he despises himself.

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  • cmerearson
    11.05.2021 - 1 day ago
    #ranboo x reader #sibling!reader #child!reader #family#platonic#cmerearson#part 2 #tubbo x reader #tubbo x platonic!reader #ranboo x platonic!reader #dsmp#angst#Michael dsmp
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  • candirose
    10.05.2021 - 1 day ago

    Hey, listen! I wrote some Ghostbur angst! :]


    #dream smp#dsmp #dream smp fanfiction #dsmp fanfic #dream smp angst #dsmp angst #dream smp ghostbur #dsmp ghostbur#ghostbur
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  • random-tinies
    10.05.2021 - 1 day ago

    Listen, I just think some scenes of the exxile arc would be better if Tommy was a tiny Sizeshifter. When he feels small, when Dream is doing his devilish deeds, having Tommy small would be fun, symbolic even. He can literally be a puppet on Dream’s strings.

    #angst#mcyt g/t#random thoughts #one of these days im going to make an actual au #g/t#size shifter #the exile arc is my bad coping habit because even though some parts of it are genuinely triggering to us #we still think about it 24/7 #dsmp g/t
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  • tameyspace
    10.05.2021 - 1 day ago

    Time to make the kids cry lol. Got the first side done not so bad and it’s abit hard to see but behind the ranboo smile you can see Karl’s swirl. Intentional??? Accidental perhaps??? Who knows anyways I’ll leave this here good whatever time your reading this :D

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  • dumbasstechnobladestan
    10.05.2021 - 1 day ago

    Techno angst AU ahead, here y'all go

    "I fell in love with a war; no one told me it ended"


    Word count: 584

    Character count: 3,038


    Cw: Self identity and self worth issues, mentions of blood and scars.


    Technoblade. Some may see him as a blade, some a person and some a god, yet that's all he is. Just, Technoblade. That's all he's ever been. No matter what title he had, no matter which people surrounded him he never changed. Maybe his hair grew out, first just enough for a small ponytail, now as long as you could imagine, flowing down his back, numerous braid threaded through it. Maybe his face got more and more scarred as more time went by and he fought more battles. Maybe he has an actual crown now, unlike the cardboard one Wilbur made him when they were little, maybe his cape, heavy and red makes him scarier than usually and maybe all the chains and details on his clothes give him a sense of refinery but he's never changed. A god once, a god again and yet never the perfect Blood god people pray to and the warrior enemies kneel in front of, begging for his mercy. He's a god again and yet he's never been less godly. He does and he acts and he hurts and he makes mistakes more than he did before, and yet his title remains. He fucks up like a human would, he cries, he laughs and he feels, nothing a god would. He cares. And yet, the title, no, curse bestowed upon him by his own greed and his own selfishness hangs over his head like an anvil waiting to drop, to kill the unkillable. Sometimes he wonders, has he ever been more than a blade, a weapon, a being for people to call upon when they need help and to dismiss just as easy. Has he ever truly been human or did he call himself that to make an excuse up for his imperfections, for his failures. Because no god can fail, and yet there he is, a living defiance of the rules. His hands permanently stained with blood, not quite there but he can see it, if he just looks long enough, something hes quite used to by now. Tears on the other hand? The tears caused by no one else but him, the tears his loved ones spilt over something he's done? That's a thing thats gonna take some getting used to. Not that it should be gotten used to, not that it should repeat, but he knows he'll fail them all again. Because the harder he tries and higher he flies the harder he fails and the lower he falls. And yet, he's still worshipped by them like some sort of saint. He doesnt have room for flaws, he doesn't have room for failure and mistakes and yet they find their way into his life again and again. He's meant to be a god, a helper of the people, protector of the helpless, punisher of the wicked and yet, who has he helped last? He's nothing but a nightmare. A monster if you will. The kind of monster that parents tell their kids at night to make sure they're being good, the kind of monster that you don't see coming until it's too late, the kind of monster that hurts you despite not having any reason or will. And yet. No matter how many voices scream at him, no matter how many mistakes he makes, no matter what he sees himself as or what others see him as; monster, god, human or weapon. He remains Technoblade. And thats all he's ever been or will be. Technoblade.

    #dsmp#dream smp#fan fiction#dsmp techno #c!techno #au#angst#technoblade angst #tw self worth issues #tw self identity issues #tw blood mention #tw blood #tw scar mention #tw scar
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  • painless-and-colourful
    10.05.2021 - 1 day ago

    one of these days I'll snap and do something with that half a fic I wrote about the Manberg festival after I fell asleep on the couch at my dad's with awful cramps and woke up tucked in with a blanket. then you'll see.

    #this was back in like november lmao #the thing is #i have at least three unfinished fics about the festival scattered around several writing apps #why? because it's the best and most angst-able event on the dsmp. that's why #dream smp#crim speaks
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  • dumbasstechnobladestan
    10.05.2021 - 1 day ago

    Should I post a Techno ficlet thingy I wrote? It's from an AU lol.

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  • l0verrain
    10.05.2021 - 1 day ago

    look at me, not posting at ungodly hours of the night lol anyways

    hey guys !! here’s a dadboyhalo and sapnap oneshot !!

    yes, thsi is me letting my daddy issues show now SHHH AND ENJOY THIS

    I'm Nothing Like You

    “Bad!!” Sapnap yelled, backing away from his father when he saw him slowly get closer to him, hand coming between them. “This isn't like you!”

    “Oh, really? Sapnap?” He raised his hands up in defense, anger visible in his eyes, “I’m just doing what’s best for everyone! I’m doing what’s best for you!”

    Sapnap let out a laugh, shaking his head repeatedly, “Don’t- don’t come at me with that bullshit, Bad. You and I both know that what you’re doing is- is - is selfish!”

    His father locked eyes with him. Sending fear down his spine as Bad stared him down with a look that could kill him in a matter of seconds. “Selfish? You think that what I’ve done is...selfish?” the space between them slowly trickled away as Bad got more and more angry. Scaring the son and making cowar more and more into the shell he hid behind.

    “What have you done this entire time, Sapnap? You’re best friend turned out to be a war criminal who is now in prison, his lover is off sleeping to get away from the real world, one of your fiance’s disappears randomly; slowly seeming to lose himself each time he comes back, the other one goes radio silent and then reappears- challenging the thing I work for most.

    “And what have you done? Your entire world is crumbling right in front of you!!” Bad grabbed his son’s shoulders, slightly shaking him as if he was asleep, “It’s all coming downhill for you, and you aren’t doing anything about it! I offer help. a way to fix your world, and I ask for one simple thing...and you can’t even do that.”

    Sapnap simply stood there, his feet feeling frozen in place, tears pricking at his eyes the more he realized his father was right.

    What was he doing? He’s simply been either running away from his problems or ignoring them, acting as though nothing was happening. Like nothing was going wrong in his life. When in reality, almost everything is wrong. “Bad- “

    “Listen, Sap,” he let go of Sapnap’s shoulders, breathing in and fixing his composure before he continued speaking, “I know that can be overwhelming. Believe me! I know how it feels!” Bad ruffled with Sapnap’s hair, knowing how much he liked it as a child, “trust me, The Egg can fix all your problems...all you have to do, is join The Egg. That’s all you have to do…”

    Sapnap turned to the tower, eyeing the red vines that surrounded it. Contrasting thoughts running through his head the more he thought about The Egg, Bad, his fiance’s, his friends- it all did seem overwhelming. But was it worth giving his mind and life over to some egg? Was it worth not knowing what would happen to the people he cared about because his mind would be occupied by something that wasn’t him?

    If the egg really would grant him what he truly desires, then he wouldn’t need to worry about keeping everyone he loves safe. He wouldn’t need to keep running away from his problems- he’d just be handing them over to the egg…

    He would just be handing them over to the egg…

    Handing them over instead of just dealing with them…

    Sapnap looked up at his father, shook his head, making Bad’s hand move away from his head and fall back to Bad’s side.



    He wiped the tear that accidentally fallen down, breathing in sharply before looking deep into Bad’s eyes, “No. I’m nothing like you. I don’t just hand my problems over to some stupid fucking egg to solve.”


    “When was the last time you asked me what I wanted? It’s always what you want!” Sapnap began to walk away, but came to a stop when Bad began talking again.

    “You will regret talking like that about The Egg.” Bad put his sword back in the scabbard he had. Beginning to walk backwards towards the tower.

    “You’re no son of mine.”

    A sting went straight into Sapnap’s heart the moment those words left his fathers mouth. His hand went into a fist, nodding and finally leaving the other.

    As he walked away, he felt the tears that managed to not come out start to spill from his eyes. Sapnap started to run when he deemed he was far enough from Bad’s vision.

    He ran and ran, his head paying no attention to the time, and how heavy he was breathing, followed with the pain from his feet and chest. From time to time, his hands went up to his face to wipe away his tear stained cheeks. He was panting, gasping for air when he finally stopped running.

    Structure after structure, memory after memory, Sapnap was straying farther and farther away from the Dream SMP. Paying no mind to his location at all until he could feel his legs and lungs give out.

    Falling down to his knees, he hid his face in the palm of his hands, letting out choked out sobs. Sapnap looked around himself, feeling lost while his eyes scanned the snow filled biome he stopped at. His body felt hot in contrast to the coldness from the snowflakes that fell around him,

    Feeling hot or cold was the last thing Sapnap could focus on. His mind was a kaleidoscope of all his problems. Flashing in front of him, full force with no stop in between for him to breathe. It was all too fast. Everything was too fast for him. No space to breathe. Only him. Alone.

    “FUCK!!” He screamed, throwing a random fire charge at an innocent tree. Sapnap’s hands went to his head, to which he began to hit out of frustration. Kicking and shaking his head, he let out failed screams and cries.

    He turned around and lied on the harsh freezing ground, colliding with his face that was scorching hot. The snow slowly began turning to water, mixing with his tears the more he cried. His arms longed for something- or someone to hold. So he hugged himself instead, thinking more and more about his fiance’s, best friends, and father.

    “I want my life back!” he screamed in a whisper to himself, “I want my dad...I want Quackity, Karl, George, Dream, Bad, Skeppy, Punz- I want them all back!!” Sapnap’s hand unwrapped itself from his waist, only to hit the snow in front of him. Making it splash on his face, upsetting him furthermore.


    Sapnap hid against his fists, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. He shook his head and pushed it further into the melting snow, feeling no energy in talking.

    “Sap...it’s me - it’s Quackity…”

    Following the voice, his head lifted up, feeling lightheaded as he tried collecting his thoughts. “Quack?’

    Quackity dropped the backpack he was carrying, he knelt down in front of Sapnap’s head and softly raised his hand, asking for permission to even get close to him. When the crying boy nodded, Quackity carefully placed his hand on top of Sapnap’s head, running his hands through his lover's hair. “Do you need a hug?”

    Sapnap nodded quickly.

    Understanding, he brought Sapnap closer to him, hugging him tightly. Quackity softly blew a breath to Sapnap’s forehead, knowing it helped him calm down. He looked up at Ossium and back down to Sapnap, kissing the side of his head as he continued petting it soothingly. “Hey, Sap, you want to go home?”


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  • wearynerdkat
    10.05.2021 - 2 days ago

    Current struggle

    #dsmp au#ao3 writer#dream smp#fanfiction #It's even worse since it is villains and heroes #the angst hurts me
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