this. i always be apologizing to jake for the things i tell him.
this. i always be apologizing to jake for the things i tell him.
MC, rushing into the room: It’s terrible, just terrible! I am so upset!
Lilly: MC, honey, sit down! Sweetheart, tell us all about it. Dan, would you get MC some water?
Dan: What are they gonna do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say, “Thank God, the water’s here!”?
Thomas: honestly, I'm a little scared of Y/n
Richy: they wouldn't hurt a fly
Thomas: that's reassuring
Richy: they would kill a man though
I prepared this meme after I finished Episode 7 for ✨ emergencies ✨. I know I've been busy but I planned to post this today so here it is.
Take care all of you <3
Cleo: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Thomas: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!
Y/n: In that case, we're definitely lost.
Richy: So, what state do you live in?
MC: Constant anxiety.
I restarted duskwood about a month ago, still in the first episode, and I haven't touched it again. Ahhh, I kinda regret it now. And I didn't copy the files so I can't undone this.... My 300+ credits...
A/N: Hey, there, people! How are you? I was supposed to have this out earlier this week but I just kinda forgot (you can blame college and work for that), but here it is! I hope you'll enjoy it and that it'll break your heart in the best possible way (like it did mine). I also have a few ideas for a part 2, so let me know if you would like to read it. Good reading! (ps. I recommend listening to despicable by grandson. It's the song that gave me the idea for this story)
Pairing: Jake x MC
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: angst, not a happy ending, break up, Richy is dead (I'm so sorry), PTSD, trauma
Watching her was one of the things Jake most enjoyed; she always seemed to be in her own element, no matter where or who she was talking to. She made friends with everyone, she was gentle with each person she came across, and she was comfortable anywhere she found herself in. When talking to her, she made you feel like the most important person in the world; she really looked at you, she saw you, she listened to everything you said, and she was honest while still being considerate of your feelings. She didn’t say anything to hurt anyone, no matter how bad that person had been to her or others.
Jake admired her for that and for so much more. She had gone through so much and still managed to be a good person; all the violence and pain and death she had seen and gone through hadn’t been enough to turn her bitter, cold, angry.
Still, he could see the tightness in her smiles sometimes. How she would flinch whenever someone touched her or spoke louder; how her eyes would search for possible way-outs in case she needed it. It was all very subtle and, if you didn’t know her well enough, you wouldn’t see the marks Hannah’s kidnapping, Richy’s death and the time she spent locked with the kidnapper had left on her, but they were there: there were well hidden dark bags under her eyes from sleepless nights or nights in which she was plagued by nightmares, the scars were smartly covered by clothing and the subject was never brought up or subtly escaped from.
He knew the others had their own problems too; Hannah had confided in him that she couldn’t be in the dark or alone, though she couldn’t handle being touched by anyone yet. They had all taken turns staying with her, him and Lilly spending most of the nights with her, just trying to distract her or just being there to keep her company.
MC had told him that Jessica had nightmares about her attack and that she wasn’t able to be alone or leave her house for long periods; she was staying with Phil and would spend most of the night at the Aurora with him until they would both go home. Their relationship had gotten better throughout the months, enough that Jessy would spend most of her time with her brother.
Lilly had become paranoid about Hannah and Jake. She wanted to know where they were every hour, calling them if it took them longer than five minutes to text her back. She would randomly show up at their houses during the week, saying she just wanted to make sure they were both still there, sometimes not believing their texts.
Thomas had become equally paranoid, always trying to be with Hannah, asking her all the time how she was, if she needed anything, what he could do for her. Jake could see he wanted to be close to Hannah, that he wanted to be there and wanted to help, but he was crowding her and Hannah could barely look at him and wouldn’t talk to him, let alone let him touch her.
Cleo and Dan seemed to be the ones dealing better with everything. Dan had gotten out of the wheelchair but he had a limp when he walked, though no one mentioned it. He still drank a lot, mostly hidden, but Jake could see the signs pretty well. MC had had a long talk with Dan a couple of weeks after Hannah was found, tried to reason with him for him to stop drinking, and he had promised he would try—Jake wasn’t sure how much of the promise he was keeping but he didn’t say anything. Cleo wanted to take care of everyone, so she would bake and cook and would bring food for everyone every other day. She had gone back to her mom’s house—for a little time, she had said—and gotten more involved in the Gates of Hope, even seeming to get more open about religion.
Jake couldn’t say he was doing much better. He tried to be strong for the others, especially for his sisters and MC; he was the one that kept MC company during the night, he was the one that woke her up from her nightmares, that listened to her cry through the bathroom door because she didn’t want to let him know in how much pain she was, even though they both knew he could hear her. He made sure she was still taking care of herself and tried to be a safe harbour for her, even if he didn’t feel that way himself.
He wanted to be there for Hannah and Lilly as well, especially after hiding the truth for so long. And they were in bad shape, they were suffering, and he understood them; the three of them knew each other’s pain pretty well.
So he tried to be there for them, for MC, and even the others. Being far away and not being directly attacked by the kidnapper, he thought of himself as lucky; he should be okay. His sister was okay, even if traumatized. He hadn’t gotten caught by the government and even managed to get a new identity (thanks to MC, though he had no idea how she had managed it) and he was able to be with the people he loved. So, why did he still have a bad feeling? Why was there still pain in his heart whenever he looked at them?
Because he knew he was putting everyone at risk. He knew there were still people after him, just waiting for one tiny mistake to come and take him away. And hadn’t Jake always said getting attached was a mistake? A weakness? Why had he done it then? Why was he still here?
Watching her, Jake wasn’t sure what was the right thing to do. He still felt like he was putting everyone in danger just by being there. He could still be found and he was sure everyone would suffer the consequences, even if they weren’t guilty. And Jake would hate himself if anything happened to any of them, especially to MC.
But she was always saying she needed him, that they had spent so much time apart and now they could finally be with each other, that he was safe, that they were all safe now; he didn’t have to run anymore. But didn’t he? How sure could he be that he wasn’t putting anyone in danger? That there weren’t people coming after him right now?
The letter tucked in his breast pocket weighed heavily, with all the words he wanted to say but couldn’t; with the goodbye and the apologies he wasn’t brave enough to tell to her face. So he had written them all and he would leave it to her as an explanation. Even if it was the hardest thing he was ever going to do, even if it was the most painful thing he ever had to do, he had to. To protect her.
Jake knew leaving would make her suffer and he never wanted to hurt her, but he was trying to save her from a more hurtful future if he stayed. That was what honourable men did, right? They did the right thing, they protected the ones they love even if it hurt.
Their eyes crossed from opposite sides of the room and MC smiled at him, the corners of her wrinkling and making her look younger; not old enough to have gone through so much tragedy and pain. Jake smiled back at her, though he was sure it didn’t look like much of a smile. She seemed to have noticed it too, tilting her head to the side and mouthing, Are you okay?
He nodded, trying to wave her concern off, even as his heart squeezed painfully in his chest and tears threatened to build in his eyes.
She seemed to accept it, mouthing Okay before smiling again and going back to her conversation. Jake knew he had to do it soon or he would lose his courage, which was already wavering. It seemed as if, every time he decided to finally leave, she would smile at him, place a soft kiss on his cheek or say she loved him, as if she knew there was something wrong, and Jake would give up.
He had spent days watching her sleep, arguing with himself that he should just do it, that he should do the right thing sooner rather than later and avoid more pain for the both of them. But he could never make it past the door. He would stand there, his hand on the handle, and he wouldn’t have any strength left to turn it open. His fingers would freeze around it and he couldn’t do anything; he could still see MC from the door, her face usually turned towards the door so she could see everything if she opened her eyes, and Jake couldn’t shake himself away from looking at her. How could he abandon her when she looked so peaceful, so beautiful, so vulnerable?
And so he always went back to the bedroom, sitting by her side and spending the rest of the night just watching her, his hand on top of hers. Sometimes she would wake up from a nightmare and he would take care of her, try to calm her down. He would pretend it didn’t break his heart to see her in so much pain and that he thought of leaving her, of taking away one more person she loves and putting her through more pain, even if it was for her own good.
Jake wondered if this wouldn’t be the best time to leave. MC was surrounded by people she cared about and that cared for her too. They would be with her when she noticed he was gone and would take care of her; they wouldn’t let anything happen to her nor let her do anything stupid, like going after him. He could ask Lilly to keep an eye on her and, once she noticed Jake was gone, she would understand his true meaning; thankfully, the two of them were getting along pretty well and he was sure Lilly would do her best to take care of MC.
He just had to figure out how to do it. He had to leave the letter somewhere she would find or ask someone to give it to her. But who? Everyone would ask what it was about and why he couldn’t give it to her himself. And Jake wouldn’t be able to explain; they wouldn’t let him leave until he talked to her and that was exactly what he didn’t want.
Looking around the room, he found Dan leaning heavily on a wall close to MC, his fingers closed around a whiskey glass as he watched the people around him. Dan would be the perfect choice; he wouldn’t ask much because he didn’t really care about Jake’s motives but, since the favour was for MC, he would do it for her.
On his way to Dan, Jake stopped behind MC, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her shoulder. After tensing for a few seconds, her shoulders relaxed again and she placed her hands over his and leaned her head on his, still talking to the girl in front of her—what was her name again? Luna? Sylvie? Didn't matter anyway.
He waited until they stopped talking, the girl walking away after nodding at him and MC turning in his arms, smiling at him so brightly and happy that it hurt.
“Hey, beautiful,” he placed a soft kiss on her lips, wishing he never had to let go.
“Have you been enjoying yourself or just lurking around and watching people?”
“I don’t lurk around.” MC raised a brow, the right corner of her lips quirked up. “Okay, maybe a little. But only because I don’t know the majority of people here.”
“I don’t either but that’s the point. This is for us to get to know the city and its people more.”
“I would rather be with you.” Jake pressed quick kisses all over her face, making MC laugh and squirm in his arms.
“Me too, but we’ll be together later.” She kissed his cheek and Jake’s eyes started to well up, knowing there wouldn’t be a later. “Go talk to someone, okay? Please?”
Jake sighed, his heart squeezing tightly inside his chest. “Okay.” He gave her a long kiss, hugging her closer and tighter, trying to commit the feeling of her in his arms in his memory before letting her go. “I love you.”
MC smiled at him, brushing a strand of hair from his face, her fingers softly caressing his temple. “I love you too. Now go be social.”
She smiled again as he walked towards Dan, each step getting harder and harder, his heart just telling him to let the idea go, to stay with her, damn the consequences.
He sighed as he stopped by Dan’s side, turning to see MC walk to Jessy and Thomas, starting a conversation right away.
“So, what are you lying about to her?” Jake turned to Dan with wide eyes. He opened his mouth to answer but Dan cut him off, “Oh, please. It’s so obvious. The hug, the kiss and the kicked puppy look when you walked away from her? I’m surprised she didn’t notice it.”
Jake licked his lips and exhaled heavily as he took the letter from his pocket. “I need you to give MC this.”
Dan took the envelope, turning it from one side to the other. “Why?”
“Because it’ll explain everything. I can’t stay any longer and I can’t take the risk of her convincing me to stay. I can’t do that to her.”
“Put her in danger!” A couple of people looked at them and Jake felt his cheeks getting hot, lowering his eyes to avoid looking at anyone. He lowered his voice, “The longer I stay in the same place, the longer I stay with her makes it easy for the government to find me and I can’t risk it. I can’t do that to her. Not anymore.”
Dan stayed quiet, just looking down at the envelope. Jake wasn’t sure what reaction he was expecting from him, but he didn’t think it would be complete silence. Maybe Dan calling him stupid or just saying ‘whatever' or even just telling him to bugger off and do it himself.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, Dan spoke again, “You know you’re doing the wrong thing, right?” Jake raised his brows. “Leaving’s not going to keep her safe. I mean, have you met her? She’s going to go after you until she or they find you or until they find her. And she’s not going to give up either way. Not the MC I know.”
Jake sighed, looking back at her. He knew Dan wasn’t wrong. MC was very stubborn and, if she really wanted to, she would find him. Her life goal would be to find him and possibly murder him for leaving once she found him. Still, he had to try it. Try to protect her, to give her a chance at a normal life, to be happy and not have anything holding her back.
“I know she won’t give up but I can try to be as far away as possible before she decides to come after me. And, hopefully, the government will be so focused on me that they won’t care about her, anymore. They won’t even think there’s someone they can go after to find me.”
Dan shrugged, putting the envelope in his pocket. “Okay. I’ll give her the letter when she starts to wonder where you are. Which won’t take long if I know her well enough.”
“Thank you, Dan. Can you distract her for a while? Just until I can be somewhat away.”
“Yeah, sure.” He stood up straight, wincing when he placed his left leg on the floor. “Good luck.”
Dan walked away without another word and Jake watched him for a few seconds before making his way to Lilly.
His footsteps must have caught her attention, because she raised her head and smiled at him, pocketing her phone. “Hey, how are you?”
Jake tried to smile but he just couldn’t do it, so he settled for a shrug. “Fine, just tired. Can you do me a favour?” Lilly nodded. “I-I need to make some phone calls. Can you keep an eye on MC for me?”
Lilly frowned, looking at MC and then back to him, as if not understanding him. “Of course. Are you sure everything’s okay? You don’t look good.”
“Yes, everything is fine.” He placed a soft kiss on her temple, squeezing her shoulder caringly. He knew this would only make Lilly more suspicious but he didn’t care; it was the last he would see of her. “See you later, Lilly.”
He walked away, feeling Lilly’s stare on his back. Now that he was finally doing it, it hurt so much more than he thought it would, but he had to keep going. He thought about how it was for MC’s safety that he had to go. And that everything would be okay. Even if it was hard. Even if it broke his heart. Even if he knew he would never be happy again.
She would be safe and that was enough.
By now, you must know something is wrong. You are probably wondering where I am or what is the meaning of this letter.
Before saying anything, I want to tell you how sorry I am; how much it hurts to do this, to have to tell you all of this in a letter instead of in person. But I couldn’t do it. I’m not strong enough to look into your eyes as I tell you my reasons, knowing I’ll be breaking your heart; I’m not strong nor brave enough to leave as I listen to you beg me not to. So I am sorry for this, even if it is for the best.
I know it may seem to you as if I am wrong about my reasons and, believe me, I wish I was but I’m not. This life, my life is not easy. It is not safe. The people that are after me are not a joke; if they got to you, they would do everything possible to hurt you just to hurt me. Just to see how much I would be able to handle before begging them to stop. And, if that happened, if they found you because of me… Well, I would never be able to live with myself.
I also know you would say we’re safe, that they wouldn’t be able to find us, but I can’t take that risk. I can’t bet your life on it because I know they will not stop. Not anytime soon. Even a new identity won’t be enough to slow them down forever. They know my abilities too well, just as I know theirs. They will do whatever they can to find me and there won’t be much I can do to stop them.
So I want you to be safe. I want you to be happy. I want nothing but good things for you, even if I am not one of them. As long as you are safe, nothing more matters to me. Not even my own happiness.
I hope you can forgive me for leaving like this. For doing it hidden and for simply disappearing, but I can’t take the risk of you convincing me to stay. And we both know you would if you tried.
MC, I love you. More than anyone or anything I have ever loved in my life. You accepted and trusted me when you had no reason to. You became my friend, my partner, and you gave me a place to belong without expecting anything in return. You welcomed me into your life and loved me for who I really am. You saved me when I didn’t think I could or deserved to.
Thank you for allowing me to be with you, for letting me love you and for loving me back, for whatever reasons you found in your heart to do so.
You will always be a part of me. I will never forget or stop loving you. I hope you’ll find a way to be happy and find a way to not hate me. But, even if you do, I can take it, as long as you’re safe.
With all my love and forever yours,
I was thinking about something recently;
How interesting would a Duskwood roleplay hosted on Discord be? I have pretty good experience with running those types of servers, so I can make it happen. I just need to know how many would be interested, or willing to help :)
This is an absolutely underrated moment we need to talk more about!
Jake sent ":P"
This is such a playful smiley! 😫
Hi everyone, again! ✨
Here's the final result (tbh I hate how it turned out; apparently I've the skill of making drawings look uglier by colouring them XD).
I really hope you'll somehow like it <3
Have a wonderful day/night, dears ✨
dan for literally no reason:
(my handwriting sucks, i know im sorry)
mc telling...someone what jessy told them after telling her that she actually likes jake:
Darkness: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.
Hi everyone <3
Here it's a little sketch, I hope you'll somehow like it <3
Have a wonderful day/night! <3
(sorry for the bad lightning, but there's a sort of blackout here where I live ahah)
but imagine how tired we are jessy, imagine how tired we are.
Cleo: What’s your biggest fear?
Richy: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone.
Jessy: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.
MC: BUT they can open doors.
I'm having an art block😫
I've been all week trying to make something but no! I have 0 ideas and I don't know how to draw anymore😑 Hopefully this won't last long😩
Anyways enjoy this masterpiece😌💅
With her life hanging on balance she did everything in her power to keep herself alive. While things always somehow managed to go back to the worst before they got any better, this time that meant that she would have to almost lose her life before she could ever get free. After many struggled and the fight of her life, she was finally free. Just when she thought that her life was back to normal, things took a turn for the worst. Within minutes her life was not only back to a nightmare but it was a nightmare she couldn't have ever expected.
Part 13 of the Duskwood Fanfiction I wrote is done. Feel free to like, comment and share ❤ Hope you guys enjoy 😄
It’s my first time ‘round here actually posting something, so I thought I’d start out with an interesting little question.
How do you honestly hope for Duskwood to come to its resolution? Do you wish for a positive, and happy ending, for example, Hannah and Richy ending up alive, and everything is fine, or do you want things to be a little darker, and have there be some loss in the end? I’m quite curious as to what you think about this. :)
Jessy: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world.
MC: Unless you're home alone.