So, this has been something that I’ve seen an uncomfortable amount that’s been on my mind a lot as a dysphoric lesbian and it’s a really like, uncomfortable thing?
I don’t know how many others have seen the MTFs who almost fetishize transmasculinity/dysphoric femalehood? The ones who call themselves butch, who bind, who try so hard to encapsulate the “typical” transmasculine or butch look. Like, I’m not even an “anti-trans” radfem so to an extent I get it (especially because I know a couple very cool fem FTMs). Sex dysphoria doesn’t mean you have to be traditionally GNC. And I wouldn’t mind a MTF who just walked around in a flannel shirt and jeans who just wanted to be comfortable in her body provided she wasn’t pro-cotton ceiling, a rapist, not respectful, etc. But this is an entirely different thing to me.
Let’s take binding for an example. I used to be active in a Twitter community with a lot of MTFs while under a different name and there was one in particular who seemed to fetishize transmasculinity and the idea of being a “cis” lesbian with dysphoria. He (I don’t use sex-based pronouns exclusively but I’m not respecting the pronouns of a fetishist) often posted about binding in a way similar to that of say, a young FTM getting his first binder. He talked about being excited to have enough breast tissue to have an excuse to bind and even mentioned that he got SRS and had been using a packer ever since.
As a dysphoric female, you might imagine I found this really bizarre and unsettling because dysphoria, putting it nicely, isn’t exactly pleasant. I have a large chest I’ve struggled with binding and just from that I’ve had back pain, decreased lung capacity, and I’ve obsessed over how prominent my “binder bump” is. I’ve been afraid of the possibility of having broken a rib before because I fell asleep in my binder. And the idea of a MTF being excited to bind after growing breast tissue on E is horrifying to me because of all that. If you’re not a dysphoric female or a male with gynecomastia, why would you want to bind? It’s uncomfortable, often painful, and can really take a toll on your body in the long run. I’d personally give anything to have the tiny breasts that MTFs grow on E because it would save me so much misery. I just don’t understand why a MTF would be excited for something like that if he wasn’t fetishizing female dysphoria or trying to pass himself off as someone lesbians would actually want to sleep with.
That being said, I do understand that there are legitimate reasons why MTFs may bind. If they’re not out to their job but are on hormones, for example, and other safety-related reasons. Those make sense, keep yourself safe. But if you’re excited to grow breasts because it gives you an excuse to bind and try to pass yourself off as a FTM? You can fuck right off. I understand wanting to be comfortable in your own body and your clothes but binding isn’t comfortable, even for a dysphoric female.
Honestly what this feels like is another gross appropriation of female suffering. They love the aesthetic of appearing like a masculine dysphoric female, of binding, being “butch”. But it’s not theirs and they won’t ever know what it’s like to grow up with the extremely alienating experience of female dysphoria, female SSA, none of what they love to claim and covet. Like they really wanna be FTMs or cuspers so bad.